The Dream Has Died

[ponderings]

For 25 years now, I've had some sailboat or another. They've been getting bigger and bigger.

I built my nearly finished, most recent boat myself. It's one of the top boats of its kind in the world. Not joking. It's a performance boat.

I recently also bought a boat to flip. I haven't been out in years because it takes years to build a boat. I went out with the boat I bought to flip and it just wasn't fun. Building the boat has turned me off on nearly all manual labor. It used to be fun to create things by building them for me. After building a boat, I no longer feel enjoyment or satisfaction from doing any repair work, modifications or systems on boats. Or on land.

I didn't really enjoy sailing on this trip on the boat I bought to flip. I didn't feel like I wanted to battle bad weather, rough seas and all the things to repair and that will break taking a boat around the world to see things. I was thinking I want to see Switzerland too. Can't sail there.

I'm burnt out.

However, I'm comfortable at the dock with the boat I bought to flip. It's finished inside and roomy. Feels like a house. The wife wants to keep the new boat I built and spend the time finishing the inside. Thousands of hours (and dollars) to get it all nice inside. She doesn't like the boat I'm flipping to be ours. She has no experience on boats and prefers (of course) the super nice new boat. At the same time, I realized that what I have always liked about boats was the solitude. It's very private. You're on your own without annoying neighbors. Feels great to me. Plus, you can move it if you don't like your surroundings.

I'm feeling comfortable on the boat I bought to flip. I don't want to build out anything. Just fix the occasional pump here or there that needs fixing or things like that. But the wife wants to have the new boat finished.

In any case, I have come to a huge realization.

The dream of sailing a boat to various countries around the world and traveling has died for me. It's just too hard. I'm not up for the challenge, given all the other challenges in life. I'm also barely up for the challenge of building out the interior of the new boat I built. I'm thinking of (GASP!!) converting the new boat I built to be a highly efficient powerboat with all the conveniences. Generator, air conditioning and heat, unlimited hot water, watermaker etc.

I'm starting to see boats as less of a traveling adventure and handyman thing and as more of a (GASP AGAIN!!) condo I can put wherever I want, moving it with the seasons for maximum comfort.

Now, I can certainly take the seamanship I've learned over all these decades and apply it to this high performance powerboat condo I'm thinking of. I can also say this boat I built is very capable of world cruising. But, -I'M- not capable of world cruising anymore. I just don't have it in me. I'm tired. I'm done. Boats are starting to bore me. Sailing is boring me.

Has anyone here ever come to this point after decades of doing the same thing? Do you ever dream of living in the mountains? Of seeing all the stuff we can't see because we're on boats? Of driving around to all sorts of towns and natural wonders that we can't see because we're always in a harbor, in an anchorage, in the water and by the beach?

I'm looking for any comments at all that might help me make sense of this sudden loss of the dream. For me, it's over. I want to see the world but I don't want to spend extra decades fighting to do it. Fighting to get a boat ready (never seems to be), fighting the weather and elements and fighting the fact that a lot of things are made poorly and break quickly in the marine world.

Time and time again we hear "just go now, life is too short." Well, life IS too short. Too short to spend decades getting to destinations I can get to in hours by plane or at least in days by RV.

I think I'd like to RV around the world so I can actually see it, which gives some of the same opportunities for the solitude, but not nearly in the same dosage of solitude a boat provides.

Is this just because I'm getting older? I'm approaching 50.

[john61ct]

Things change.

"Be careful what you ask for, you might just get it!"

can mean disaster.

In your case just ennui, not that bad a situation.

Sell or give away everything that doesn't give you joy, jettison the flotsam, lighten the loads.

Get your life stripped down to bare essentials, then "get out there" and expose your soul to totally different experiences, cultures / sub-cultures, different societies, mix it up even at random.

For me means travel, but not necessarily.

The quest is for new stuff that floats your boat, revs your engines gets the juices flowing.

Find people to love, a mission that inspires you, whatever gives your life a feeling of fulfilment, fire in your belly, passion jumping out of bed in the morning.

As much as possible within the obligations and restrictions you allow to hold you back.

[landsend]

JOHN61CT: Wow. I'm inspired. So cool.

[Letitroar]

You are tired. Tired of the work, both mentally and physically. You are tired of the dream, the fantasy life you have made in your thoughts. You are sick of hearing talk of systems, thicknesses, and all the other ship building terms.
But ask yourself, are you sick of the lifestyle you are yet to achieve?

[robert sailor]

Change is the spice of life. There's way more to life than sailing...Actually my own personal experience is that it's probably the most expensive way in the world to travel 3rd class!! Having said that there are still quite a few more miles left in me.
You love dockside living...you've got lots of company. Few people actually go out there and cross oceans, most enjoy sitting on the hook close to home base or just staying as liveaboards and why should you not enjoy that, great social life and you actually are comfortable most of the time.
I've sailed well over 50,000 miles offshore but in my mind that's easy peasy compared to building a boat...can hardly imagine that. Your in a special group having achieved that my friend.

[JPA Cate]

Hello, ponderings,

Approaching 50, eh? The week I turned 50, my Mom died, we were just new cruisers at that time. I worried about having lived a half century and wondered how long I had left, and how I would manage being head of our little clan. Perhaps the prospect of all you've done so far not being finished is bothering you.

You sound either depressed or burnt out, just like you said, so maybe you just need a pleasant vacation, some time to ponder which new roads you might like to travel, and how your skills dovetail with those desires.

Do not make major decisions while you're feeling down. If the feeling doesn't go away after a holiday, consider seeking counseling.

As John61ct wrote, above, try some new things, and try things involved with helping others. People usually find that pretty fulfilling.

Interestingly you can get to Geneva via the European canal system! The canal boating scene can be very pleasant, although maybe a little late in the year now if you're from somewhere warm.

Good luck with this, separate out the issues you want to handle, one at a time: you don't have to attack all of them at once, one many fronts. Choose things that will make you feel good that are realistically doable in the given time frame.

Ann

[a64pilot]

Most Homebuilt aircraft are never finished, not by the original builder anyway.
I suspect it’s the same for boats, usually there are builders and there are sailors or fliers, but not usually both.
A builder once finished really doesn’t want to sail it, just building was the fun part.

I don’t know which you are, not do so know how far along you are in the build, but time off is in order and then after some time off, decide.

[Cheechako]

Yep, things change. It's OK.

[Nicholson58]

If you get to Switzerland you may want to sail on Lake Zurich, (Zurichsee). I found the yacht club there years ago and crewed with them. Nice folks. Most speak English pretty well.

Sorry to hear about your dilemma. Sometimes time away can revive ones enthusiasm. Suggest a tour of Switzerland.

[Trackskinz]

I (we) are 55 and just recently getting into sailing. I have been to 47 states, many many times for work and play.....I got halfway through your post and could hear myself screaming inside: "TELL THIS GUY TO GET AN RV!!!!!!"

Go do the green side - see all the national parks and silly side of the road stuff. Go to Iowa and find the birthplace of James T. Kirk. It's what you need.

[Simi 60]

Pretty much the same situation, always a sailor and now with a half built 52fter intended as a live aboard cruiser in the backyard.
Its the 3rd boat we have done, each bigger than the last so well aware of the effort involved and it did burn me out.

I turned 50 and had a few friends pass away unexpectedly which rattled us
That and my wife suffering burn out in her job and our want for more comforts, autonomy and load carrying ability had us reassessing our choices.
Our current vessel popped up on the radar ticking all the boxes apart from sail if wanting to get out there now while still sane.

We jumped at it, mothballed the dirt dwelling and half built boat and began living our life again, somewhat different but a lot more comfort.

Two years on and no regrets but but we do need to finalise our land based interests before continuing further afield

Originally Posted by Cheechako

Yep, things change. It's OK.

That they do and then life goes on but no one gets off this planet alive.

[Amnesia II]

This is pertinent to a lot of people, as an ancient mariner myself I felt jaded last yr and decided to sell my Catalina 42, simply because I was spending most of my sailing alone, getting older at 70yrs and major $$$$$ upgrades on the boat were approaching, new rig etc. I tried the RV life and found it OK but I really missed being on the water and my boat watch list growing longer and longer. So now, next month, I’m helping a lady get her small yacht from Qld down to Tasmania to see if the juices really will flow again or I’ll think it’s all too hard and let it go.

[a64pilot]

I did the RV thing part time before this, and I didn’t like it.
Reason is you can only go from one KOA to the other KOA, yes State Parks exist, but usually have a long list so you have to plan well in advance, and you get tired real quick of KOA campgrounds.
In most of the US, you can’t anchor out in an RV.

[fxykty]

Originally Posted by a64pilot

I did the RV thing part time before this, and I didn’t like it.
Reason is you can only go from one KOA to the other KOA, yes State Parks exist, but usually have a long list so you have to plan well in advance, and you get tired real quick of KOA campgrounds.
In most of the US, you can’t anchor out in an RV.

Walmart parking lots? https://www.elmonterv.com/guide/rv-r...y-information/

[valhalla360]

Originally Posted by a64pilot

I did the RV thing part time before this, and I didn’t like it.
Reason is you can only go from one KOA to the other KOA, yes State Parks exist, but usually have a long list so you have to plan well in advance, and you get tired real quick of KOA campgrounds.
In most of the US, you can’t anchor out in an RV.

We do a lot of time in our RV....We've stayed at KOAs...2-3 nights over the last 10yrs. There are plenty of options.

Similar to cruising, its an end not the end unto itself.

Full timing, it's easy to get into state parks. If you want to dry camp, head out west...there's a reason they are on wheels.

If you like to work on projects, check out the snow bird parks down south. My Dad loved woodworking...they stayed in a place with a woodshop that made his look silly.

Looping back around to the OP's situation: If it's not fun...do something else. If someone thinks less of you for it, that's their problem not yours.