Exit plan morbid?

[a64pilot]

Originally Posted by Badsanta

A living will, will not protect you if you don't have it at hand.
If you have a DNR keep it
at hand. If you call EMS they will do CPR on you unless you can produce it. Don't keep it in your safe deposit box. You need to provide proof of your wishes and your medical provider. Local variations of course.
Don't assume your wishes will be carried out. If your in a hospital or long term care they should have all the right documentation needed.
But if your not in the system anything can happen.

This is exactly correct, My Mother who was dieing from COPD and Emphysema, something triggered her inability to breathe, the Ambulance was called, CPR and O2 administered and she was put on a ventilator when she arrived at the Emergency room.
All of which was against her written wishes, but if your an Emergency technician I'm sure your wired to do everything you can to save a life, not sit and read Lawyers documents.

Anyway to make a long story short, both my parents chose their time, pain medication is a very powerful thing and literally you just go to sleep.
But be careful cause if you wait too long, you may not be in a position to administer it to yourself. I think it has been that way for a very long time, I'm sure the Dr if a good friend would prescribe meds and tell you, be careful if you take more than 5 you may go to sleep and not wake up.


My Father told me one time that it was the lucky ones that got to chose.
Later I understood that comment, it took a while to sink in.

When my Mother was in ICU, I stayed in the waiting room 24/7.
In there was a family who had a family member that had stroked out or something on the operating table, the operation was open chest, every few hours the attending Physician would come in, explain that the operation had been stopped, the chest hadn't even been closed and the family member had 0 chance for survival and they recommend that that the patient be taken off of life support, and every time the answer was no,the answer was I wouldn't feel right if every thing that could be done, wasn't done. This went on for days.
I thought then and think now if the answer might not have been different if they had to pay.
Lord knows what a day in ICU with full life support costs?

[tuffr2]

If one told younger siblings the plan, like sailing out to sea with a plan to sink and did not report anyone missing I doubt that would trigger a search and rescue. I do not want that.

Any other way people will find the body and need to plan a funeral. The only way to totally disappear is on the ocean.

There are easier ways to go out faster, less struggle but nothing beats the sea where no-one is likely to find remains.

Sent from my SM-G360V using Cruisers Sailing Forum mobile app

[DDabs]

Well, anything beats dying in front of your computer while typing a reply to a thread on cruis

[Jsta_Rebel]

Originally Posted by tuffr2

This is a morbird question but how many have thought about a good way to die? I have seen many people who become helpless and then linger for 1 or 2 years. I do not want to 'linger'. I realize I have no real control over this unless I at least give it some initial thought.

No, I am not suicidal but I always thought a good way to go out would be in a bad storm on the ocean. A burial by the sea. Lots of people have gone out this way and I would just become fish food.

No-one (wife, younger brothers, nephews) would need to set up a funeral etc.etc.

Thoughts?





Sent from my SM-G360V using Cruisers Sailing Forum mobile app

Funny that I feel the same way. Took care of my mom for 18 months with Alzheimers and a stroke. Don't want to burden another including my wife or to be alive like my mom was. Always figured that if it came down to it, go out knowing what I'm headed into for one last great sailing adventure and my wife ends up with the insurance money for me and the boat. That way my boat won't rot after I'm gone and can't care for her.

[Siberianhusky]

They are debating physician assisted dying in Canada now, some of the incredibly selfish reasons against it boggle my mind! Mostly religious, imagine that!
Evidently people who have never had to watch somebody die from a horrible disease.
My dad killed himself before things got too bad and he couldn't any longer, my mentally challenged sister found him in the bathtub with slashed wrists.
My mom hung on with non hodgkins lymphoma, wasted away and died out of it in a hospital.
When my old dog got too crippled up with arthritis and developed doggy dementia I was able to put her out of her misery, it was planned, we had a great last night together......
We live in a sick society!

[iyamwhatiyam]

DO NOT GO GENTLE INTO THAT GOOD NIGHT
Dylan Thomas

Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rage at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Though wise men at their end know dark is right,
Because their words had forked no lightning they
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright
Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight,
And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way,
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight
Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

And you, my father, there on the sad height,
Curse, bless me now with your fierce tears, I pray.
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

[skipmac]

Originally Posted by iyamwhatiyam

DO NOT GO GENTLE INTO THAT GOOD NIGHT
Dylan Thomas

Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rage at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Though wise men at their end know dark is right,
Because their words had forked no lightning they
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright
Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight,
And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way,
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight
Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

And you, my father, there on the sad height,
Curse, bless me now with your fierce tears, I pray.
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

I used to love this poem and thought this was the way to approach death but I have now done a 180.

Evidence is pretty conclusive that all of us will die; 100.000% of us with 100.000% certainty. So why fight the inevitable, kick and scream for every last second, no matter the cost or quality?

No I'm not advocating giving up at the first sign of a sore throat but when it's my time I hope I do go gently and peacefully into that good night, accepting bravely and with grace what comes.

After all, it is life's greatest journey. Crossing an ocean ain't nothing compared to this trip. You get to see what comes next. If it's nothing then what does it matter since you won't be there anyway. If it's something then wow, can't wait to see what it's like. I personally think it's the later although most assuredly nothing like most expect. Very unlikely to involve sitting on a cloud playing a harp.

[dannc]

Originally Posted by DDabs

Well, anything beats dying in front of your computer while typing a reply to a thread on cruis

DDabs?

DDabs?

DDabs, you there? Hello? DDABS!



Later,
Dan

[artisanmach]

I'm with Boatman61... except not stoned or drunk or being raped... just Norah and her piano....

[Siberianhusky]

What a piece of drivel! How does a person zonked out of their mind on morphine in palliative rage? Think you have it confused with my moms hallucinations at the end......

Originally Posted by iyamwhatiyam

DO NOT GO GENTLE INTO THAT GOOD NIGHT
Dylan Thomas

Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rage at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Though wise men at their end know dark is right,
Because their words had forked no lightning they
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright
Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight,
And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way,
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight
Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

And you, my father, there on the sad height,
Curse, bless me now with your fierce tears, I pray.
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

[bobnlesley]

Originally Posted by tuffr2

If one told younger siblings the plan, like sailing out to sea with a plan to sink and did not report anyone missing I doubt that would trigger a search and rescue. I do not want that.

Any other way people will find the body and need to plan a funeral. The only way to totally disappear is on the ocean.

There are easier ways to go out faster, less struggle but nothing beats the sea where no-one is likely to find remains.

Sent from my SM-G360V using Cruisers Sailing Forum mobile app

Presumably you don't have any life insurance policies in place for your dependents? Because if you just disappear into the deep blue, I strongly suspect that the Insurance Companies are not going to pay out on them.

[Badsanta]

Its one thing to die, even if you want too, but to shoot or cut yourself to be found by your family is cruel. Even if your right to die, doing it like that is selfish and mean.

[Pelagic]

Originally Posted by Siberianhusky

What a piece of drivel! How does a person zonked out of their mind on morphine in palliative rage? Think you have it confused with my moms hallucinations at the end......

A useful book to have read on this subject is
"The Final Gift" written by 3 British palliative nurses each with a lifetime of experiences in helping the dying and families deal with 'near death awareness ' and the fog of drugs.
Full of real life examples, it is an easy read and very helpful.

Quite often that "Rage" is a sign that something important to the dying.....really needs to be said.

This book teaches you how to listen

[StuM]

Originally Posted by skipmac

I used to love this poem and thought this was the way to approach death but I have now done a 180.

Evidence is pretty conclusive that all of us will die; 100.000% of us with 100.000% certainty. So why fight the inevitable, kick and scream for every last second, no matter the cost or quality?

+1 My sentiments exactly!

[hpeer]

I used to say I wanted to be shot by a jealous lover in my 90th year.

Then I figured out it might be my Wifes lover!