Ryban, take a good look at the bottom left pic. (And, thanks for
posting them.) Look at the luff of the
mainsail. See that shallow scalloped appearance? That is what I was talking about, and you are right, the
halyard does need to be tighter.
The topping
lift should be loose under way, not all the way off, unless you don't mind re-attaching it before you drop the sail, just not tight.
You know how people are always talking about balancing the
boat for use with the
wind steering? What it means does make it easier for the
wind pilot, but it also means having similar sail area up between the main and the headsail.
You might want to invest in a book about sail trim. It will in the end help you immensely to understand how to set her up well, and increase your pleasure in the sailing aspect of what you want to attempt.
Ann