Any advice for a crusing with a pre-teen Girl?

[tom151]

Originally Posted by capcook

My concern will be that at age 12 she will find life at sea a total bore and miss the malls... has anyone taken this on and how did it turn out ?Cheers

I'll just add from my experience, if you start'em early -- like send them to sailing camp, etc., let them be a part of running the boat, learning navigation, and using the radio etc. They'll mature much faster than their peers and then you'll greatly increase the chances that they will skip over the "terrible teens" and the "mall rat" stages altogether.

I know it can happen, it did for my two daughters (no credit to me, my wife did the hard part of seeing that they both got to swimming classes, then sailing camps, then power squadron boating courses). I do hope you're as lucky!

[capcook]

Thanks All...
Very encouraging and puts my mind to rest a bit on this issue... really appreciate your feedback...

Cindy-Schoonerdog... The X-TV lifestyle was, I have to admit, my wifes idea, but now I don't know when we would find the time to even watch it... We and the 2Ks (so far) really don't miss it at all... When we are visiting other families that have a TV routine I realize just how anti-social a TV is... so we are pretty happy and I don't miss that $70 buck cable bill either...

Terry... I will try to figure out how to do the PM thing on this blog... but if you don't hear from me it won't be because I didn't try...

Cheers

[shirley]

We have 3 children, the youngest is our 11 yo daughter. She loves the destinations, but not so much the sailing--especially the rougher weather. She takes a dramamine before we depart and is fine. She loves to "try" to stay up with whoever is on watch. She loves to help out in any way--she has a hard time though. Her brothers are both older and "wiser" (in their opinion), and stronger, so she gets frustrated that they won't ever let her do anything.

She often prepares simple meals and feels really useful and helpful doing that.

She loves to drive the dinghy, so we try to let her when we're in places that aren't populated, or have strict age limits.

Dad rigged a rope ladder so she can climb to the spreaders, and she is up there a lot. She also likes to go up in the bosun's chair.

The most important thing is to get her correctly fitting snorkel gear and flippers. There is so much to see under water. Also, toys (skim boards, surfboards, kayaks... all fun). In one anchorage, the boys towed her in the dinghy while she "surfed" on the surf-board ala ski-style. They had a blast.

For down times: lots of preteen, girly movies and books. Oh, and she brought her American girl dolls, so she occasionally makes clothes for them and lee cloths, ets.

We have a Sprint phone with a data plan, so when Sprint service is available, we can get online. She keeps in touch with all her friends via email and phone calls.

We have only met one other boat in 9 months that had a girl her age, but when we found her, she was at our boat everyday for as long as possible!
She will have an experience of a lifetime, her friends will be incredibly jealous, so keep fresh in her mind how she is doing something that most people only dream about. It is worth any displays of attitude (although we haven't had many at all) you will ever encounter!!!

Hope that helps! Go for it! None of my kids would trade this for anything---not even a Wii! (lol)

[Cassparagus]

maybe some advice from someone closer to your daughter's age:

when I was 13 I wanted to be as far away from my parents as possible, its the age where kids really gain independence and insight into how to thrive within a social world. To add, I am also a clinical psychology student at the University of Vermont: If your daughter is resistant to being taken away from friends, or resistant to the whole idea, deep resentment could form and manifest itself in destructive ways (either directed at self or family) which is never a good thing obviously. (especially while in the middle of the ocean :-P )

but this is also coming from someone who can hardly be convinced to spend one night on a boat (Im a weekend boater :-P ) When it comes down to it, its what you think would be best for your family. best of luck.

[jzk]

When I was 13 my parents made me do plenty of things I didn't want to do, and I am a better person for it. How do you make your kid do something like this without deep resentment?

[Cassparagus]

Originally Posted by jzk

When I was 13 my parents made me do plenty of things I didn't want to do, and I am a better person for it. How do you make your kid do something like this without deep resentment?

I'm not a parent, but making your kid eat broccoli and removing them from land for years are 2 very different things. just offering a different side.

but if the whole family loves being on the boat, then thats a great thing.

[capcook]

Originally Posted by Cassparagus

maybe some advice from someone closer to your daughter's age:

when I was 13 I wanted to be as far away from my parents as possible, its the age where kids really gain independence and insight into how to thrive within a social world. To add, I am also a clinical psychology student at the University of Vermont: If your daughter is resistant to being taken away from friends, or resistant to the whole idea, deep resentment could form and manifest itself in destructive ways (either directed at self or family) which is never a good thing obviously. (especially while in the middle of the ocean :-P )

but this is also coming from someone who can hardly be convinced to spend one night on a boat (Im a weekend boater :-P ) When it comes down to it, its what you think would be best for your family. best of luck.

Ha, Thanks Cassparagus... I appreciate a POV from someone who was once the age my daughter will be when we leave... Ah, I am afraid there won't be much that I do for/with her that she will actually like at that age, so perhaps we have to do what I think will be best long term... else I would probably just have to let her hang in the mall on the cell all day... I wonder if you had been dragged kicking and screaming on to a yacht for 3yrs if you think differently of the sea and boats today ?

At least at sea, I would have a chance to shoot the guys out of the dingy's before they could get too close... Cheers

[Cassparagus]

Originally Posted by capcook

Ha, Thanks Cassparagus... I appreciate a POV from someone who was once the age my daughter will be when we leave... Ah, I am afraid there won't be much that I do for/with her that she will actually like at that age, so perhaps we have to do what I think will be best long term... else I would probably just have to let her hang in the mall on the cell all day... I wonder if you had been dragged kicking and screaming on to a yacht for 3yrs if you think differently of the sea and boats today ?

At least at sea, I would have a chance to shoot the guys out of the dingy's before they could get too close... Cheers

to be honest, if my mother had did that, I would have gotten into a lot less trouble.... lol don't freak out! (now you're grabbing her suitcase.) as I said, my boyfriend has to drag me kicking and screaming to go for one night.

(I asked where i would put my makeup on and he laughed at me!)

[kai]

This seems like a great way to grow up, seeing the world, other cultures, and learning the responsibilities of sailing. At 13 (now 21 and jealous) I would not have even dreamed of something so exciting that you are planning. Just to throw in my 2 cents. When I was 13 the easiest way that I was pulled into doing something with my father is by him showing me the ropes then giving me tasks which made me feel important. I wish you and your daughter the best of luck.
-kai

[LifeJacket]

CaptCook and TSpringer,

I wonder if there is something about the Atlanta area rat race in particular that is leading many of us to the sea. We live in Marietta and part of my daily sanity check is to listen to Kenny Chesney and dream about Jost Van Dyke ...

We are in the first year of a 10 year plan (I know, I know ... plans are simply things that get broken). The ultimate goal is to sail away with the family for a minimum of 1 year. Our son will then be 13 and our daughter will be 11. I was raised as a military brat (USAF) and lived in 14 places before I left home at 18. I had three highschools, 2 junior highs and 5 elementaries. The point being, change was hard, but the challenge of taking on a new situation AS A FAMILY brought us closer together as a family and made both my sister and I very comfortable in our skin and with the values. Not to mention meeting and coexisting with people that were not my color, religion, economic status, etc. etc. etc.

We have already begun to include our son in the sailing plan (sounds better than dream, right) by taking him with us on day sails. Both of the kids are going down to the BVI with us in Dec of 2009 for a week. Needless to say we are nervous about a 5.5 year old and 3 year old on a boat for a week so there probably won't be as much time under sail as there would be with only my wife and I.

In the end, I look at this "plan" as a gift that I can give my kids, my wife, and me. There will be hard days but I have found it more difficult to remember the bad times than the good. I say good luck and maybe we should all join up in the Atlanta area and strategise on the best schooling, locations, etc. We could always go for a sail on lanier or just meet up for a Carib ...

BTW, the basics of the 10yr plan are:

1. Sail as much and as often as possible.
2. See 1
3. Get a boat and See 2.
4. Take 2.5 months off one summer to do the Great American Loop. (that amount of time may be optimistic so may have to stage the boat (see 3) in the Hudson in preparation for the trip.
5. Continue step 1
6. Sail towards the horizon ... I really want to take the kids to Europe and sail the med ... but the passage makes me wary ... again may stage the boat over 6 months prior.

Anyway ... that is our plan and so far ... step 1 is moving along just fine! :-)

Good luck and let us know how things go and what you learn.

LifeJacket

[capcook]

Lifejacket,

It is a small world indeed... at least you are getting wet !

What does your wife think of the plan? Mine is still a bit reluctant but we have gone from "WE aren't getting a boat" to "well, let's try this for a couple of weeks"... I think she is hoping I get the idea out of my system..ha, not going to happen.. but she is intrigued by the mobility and she loves to travel, so she will get there, I have a couple of years to keep working the issue...and if the market doesn't straighten out, maybe more than a couple of years...ha.. I will PM you on getting that beer..

Cheers

[Cyrus]

WOW! I got a little teary eyed reading everyones expirences.. I am in the midwest of the USA and everyone I tell about my goals think I am loopy.. But after reading some of this thread I have some hope! I have three girls ages <1, 5 and 11. I am hoping my families trip to Roatan Honduras will open their eyes! I hope I can give my girls some awesome experiences like alot of you are!

I am having a 43ft x 22ft Passenger Hovercraft built to give us a excuse to move out of the USA.. We will be servicing the Bay Islands of Honduras

[puntin]

Here is my perspective (for what it's worth). The longest I remained on board would have been about 2 weeks. I was definately the typical moody, sullen pre-teen/teenager. Being "trapped" on a boat with my parents was not my idea of a fun time. I read a lot. But, I also participated in sailing activities: reading charts, handling lines, tending sails, steering, etc. If my parents would have chosen to pull my sister and I out of school permanently to sail the world I probably would have pouted and sulked for a bit, but once we got to go to all of these fantasic places to experience new people and cultures I would have gotten over it.

Even if your pre-teen isn't enjoying the experience to the fullest while you are doing it, I think as an adult they will thank you, and really look back at that opportunity as a good thing. Good luck!

[GordMay]

Welcome aboard Cyrus.
Sounds like you've got a terrific adventure ahead of you!

[capcook]

Originally Posted by puntin

Here is my perspective....Even if your pre-teen isn't enjoying the experience to the fullest while you are doing it, I think as an adult they will thank you, and really look back at that opportunity as a good thing. Good luck!

Thanks Puntin, these are my thoughts as well... The "trapped" part is one reason I want to get a CAT as with it's seperate hull for the kids and each with their own "space"... so I am thinking this will help... as I will need all the help I can get...

Now if the market would just turn around...

cheers