What to do when a guest gets scared and wants off the boat?

[travelnodes]

Just got back from my worst day on the water so far. I'm a relatively new captain of a 35 monohull cruising sailboat. My parents asked if I would take them sailing with two of their friends and I said yes. All four of them are over 70 years old and don't have much experience sailing.

I just moved to a new town and this is to be my first time taking the sailboat offshore. The wind was blowing 10mph to 14mph and it was a beautiful day. The current was going out and the wind was blowing in from the east against the direction of the current.

So at the mouth of the inlet, we saw some waves and whitecaps forming...

I was watching my depth and it was okay but the waves were getting bigger and the boat was swinging from right to left as we motored out to sea at 5kts. The women began to express fear and suggest we turn back. I explain that we were almost out of the inlet and that in deeper water it would settle down.

One of the ladies began screaming every time a wave rocked the boat and the waves kept getting bigger as the depth was getting more shallow. At one point my depth meter was showing 3 feet and the tide was falling.

Eventually one of the ladies began throwing up and the other wanted me to call the Coast Guard. We were hardly half a mile from the marina we just left from. I didn't feel scared and yet I wanted to help my crew.

She seemed to be having a panic attack, trembling and yelling out with each wave. Then my mom started dry heaving down below. Then one of the men began to dry heave as well.

I considered turning around and going back in but we had just made it through the worst part of the inlet and the depth was finally starting to go back up. It was almost dead low tide I was concerned we may run aground on the way back in. If that happened we would be stuck in the washing machine of waves.

They were obviously scared, sick, and wanted off the boat immediately!
One said, "just pull close to the beach and I will swim in."

What would you do in this situation?

[chris mac]

I would turn around. Why intentionally make someone having a panic attack, even worse.
Going out for a sail is supposed to be fun.
We have a rule on our boat. We sail to the comfort level of the least comfortable. In that situation 3 of your four were sick and one was in a state of panic. Nobody was having fun anymore
Take some time to learn the tide charts. Wind over current is a bad situation, and easy to avoid

[skipmac]

When you are that close to the marina and the guests are terrified and horribly sea sick you turn around and take them back. That is the only kind and logical thing to do. No question.

[Singularity]

Originally Posted by travelnodes

What would you do in this situation?

Go back to the marina immediately.

I'd suggest that this kind of experience is sort of what passenger briefings can serve to prevent. These passengers apparently did not know what to expect or how to handle themselves when their internal fear mechanism kicked in. Had they been briefed that A, B, C would possibly occur, you could have explained "okay A is occurring...who can tell me what B was? And remember, once at position 123 things will settle, and if they don't we'll do XYZ." Instead sounds like things were winged a bit.

[leboyd]

Really nothing to do but return. I can't imagine anyone saying, "Just keep going."

It's not that unusual of a event. It has nothing to do with you or the boat. Sometimes it doesn't even have anything to do with the wind speed or the wave height. When someone is in that state, you must return ASAP. It's good that you were only a few minutes from the marina. Had you been an hour things could have gotten very ugly.

[LittleWing77]

Oh wow, Travel,

SO sorry for the crummy situation, but it's just one of tolerance.

Regardless of the fact that you're a new skipper or not, people who are going for a sail for the first time will have completely different perceptions of what is going on than you will. To you, the weather and conditions were perfect. To them, all those waves at the entrance and the strange (to them) movement of the boat signalled danger.

Earlier this Summer, I went on a trip with relatively new sailors on their relatively new-to-them boat. We needed to do a 3-hour hop to get to the nearby harbour in a 15-17 knot breeze. We put in the first reef and got out in the thick of a beam reach where we were surfing down waves and hit a boatspeed of 7.7 knots. Their nausea and fear of the boat's heeling and speed was counterbalanced by the exhiliration of the boat's heeling and boatspeed of 7.7 knots! Long story short, we've now been out in 20-25 knots and we fondly remember that day when we were flying along in 17 knots of breeze, scared sh**less.

What I've found to be helpful is just a little chalktalk for your guests:

Before you leave the dock: Start out with very brief principles of sailing.. "you know that a sailboat uses sails to capture the wind? Okay, we'll be doing that with the boat today. The forecast is for 10-15 mph winds, which is 5-10 knots of wind. Excellent sailing weather. So, once we get that amount of wind in our sails, how do we know that wind won't push the boat right over? Explain that there's a lead keel attached to the bottom of the hull with a weight equivalent to that of a Volkswagen - it will always pull the boat back upright, even when it seems to be tipping over, so they needn't worry about that.

Then, finally, apprise them of "approaching dangers" (but don't, for heaven's sake, call it that!) Just say something like, "as we leave today, you are going to see the tide running out - and with the wind blowing in the opposite direction, there will be about 10-15 minutes of what we call "confused seas". We will motor beyond that and you'll find the water will settle down and then we'll all enjoy a lovely sail."

Then when you can see the confused seas coming up. Point them out: "See those waves up ahead? That's what I was telling you about. We're going to motor past those seas and then you'll find the water will settle down and we'll have a lovely sail - but it will be a bit bumpy as we motor through it."

I guess I would say it's all about forewarning and letting them know that you know exactly what's happening and you've got it well in hand. (You did have it well in hand, only they were too inexperienced to understand that.)

Warmly,
LittleWing77

[sailorboy1]

I would have just turned around and back (if you got there you can turn around). Then gone for beer and steaks, brought by the cry babies of course.

[Mike OReilly]

I'd have turned around as soon as I could.

Agree with LW's about explaining before hand about how a sailboat works, and what they should expect. You'd also want to go over all the safety systems and procedures should there be a problem.

But another that really helps is the confidence you show as the captain. I'm inferring your guests (they weren't crew) knew of your own inexperience. You may also have been telegraphing your concerns and own doubts while at the helm. If so, that might have added to the guest's uncertainties.

[mjscottinnc]

Everyone experiences and perceives things differently. Given their age and experience I would returned, for all the reasons others have mentioned.

My wife gets white knuckled standing on a floating dock, needless to say I single hand everywhere I go.

I was 6 the first time I was on a boat and loved it. My wife was 33 the first time she went to and hated it. It’s either in your DNA or it isn’t.

[Chotu]

Little wing nailed it.
Also, as someone who has taken a LOT of people on their first sail, choose better conditions. It should be a really benign day. Better to have to motor a bit than to have it even remotely rough for n00bs

[Mirage35]

I have a friend who thinks that the rougher it is, the more fun it is; he doesn't understand anyone who feels differently so tends to just keep going.

He turned his wife off sailing forever.

[KC375]

Originally Posted by travelnodes

...
... The women began to express fear and suggest we turn back. I explain that we were almost out of the inlet and that in deeper water it would settle down.

One of the ladies began screaming every time a wave rocked the boat and the waves kept getting bigger as the depth was getting more shallow. At one point my depth meter was showing 3 feet and the tide was falling.

...
... It was almost dead low tide I was concerned we may run aground on the way back in. If that happened we would be stuck in the washing machine of waves.
...

What would you do in this situation?

I had a similar experience with three neophytes onboard a 35 footer as weather worsened to small craft warning. We were transiting in a group of three boats to an important social event some 30 miles away so there was some pressure to continue. I noticed my three companions not complaining but obviously showing increased discomfort and slower responsiveness to tasks as assigned. I asked who wanted to go back, after three votes for a return I didn’t bother voting, just put the helm over.


But your situation was different. Yes, once you saw your guests were unhappy you should have offered them the choice of returning or continuing to were you felt the water would be more settled. However, once you felt returning before the change of tide presented a genuine risk then your priority shifts from the comfort of you passengers to the safety of your passengers and boat. Once there was a question of risk to the vessel and crew IN YOUR JUDGEMENT then you needed to stand on until in your judgement it was safe to return.


Lots of good advice up thread about predeparture briefings and how you can project confidence to reassure others etc. but the critical item for you to have decided is when does your obligation for your passengers comfort get replaced by your obligation to keep them and your vessel safe. Only you can make that judgement at the time. If you think you made the right judgement with the information you had then nothing to second guess about that decision but maybe some things to do differently next time.



Keep sailing, and keep introducing people to sailing and over time you’ll get better and more confident at both.

[zemurray]

i wouldn’t have gone out the pass in those conditions for the first time ever. Especially with four guest on board. Sounds like it would have been a much better day to stay in the bay.

[Palarran]

Is this a trick question? You have been a member for over 7 years and made 9 posts. You tell a tale that most obviously would make anyone say "Turn Around", and yet leave what you did open.

Recap - Novice skipper - New Area - four 70+ year old passengers - one of which is your mother and she is throwing up - your only 1/2 mile away from the dock and all this is happening.

Well, I'll buck the trend and say you should strap a life jacket on the old ladies and boot them overboard. Since your dad and his friend haven't complained so far, give them a fishing pole and see if they are at all helpful with something. And what you specifically should do is go down and grab that old tequila bottle and start to get hammered. I mean, if were talking hypothetical's - why not?

[PirateGuy]

I guess it depends on whether or not your parents have a substantial estate to leave you in their will.
I think grabbing a couple of ball bearings and rolling them in one hand, while twirling a 45 semi-automatic pistol, and cackling maniacally every time the hull got slapped would have made an extremely memorable day sail for everyone.

Short of that, staying at the dock and having some drinks and snacks might have been a good introduction to boating for 4 newbies your parents age.