Male / Female Anchoring Roles?

[CapnTony]

I've searched the treads and have not really been able to find suggestions about anchoring rolls on the boat. The Admiral and I have been having discussions about who should be driving and who should be setting the gear. I think she should be driving while I wrestle with the anchor and chain. She thinks I should drive so that I'm happy with the spot we end up with.
I am always worried that she might get hurt from the chain and she's convinced I'm never happy with our location.

So the question is......what happens on your boat?

[Jentine]

Let her anchor in whatever fashion she chooses. If she finds she can't handle the chain and anchor, she will, in all probability, suggest that you take the anchor detail back as she is a better driver. You can't win so you might as well let her do what she wants.

[Cheechako]

You yell, she stomps her foot and snarls back! :>) OK, I guess that's not helpful. I always preferred to pick the spot as I have a good sensitivity to wind direction, forecast, exit plans in the dark, proximity, bottom type, who the neighbors are (charter boat?) etc. Whoever is good at or enjoys all of those things should pick the spot. Mechanical inclination for the bow work is a good thing also, (does your windlass clutch require just the right feel to drop at a good rate but not free fall?, does the chain override a little at times? etc)

[jdoe71]

I work the foredeck and my bride drives the boat. We communicate using hands free headsets. There is no drama. Couldn't do it any other way since we have a./ 35 lb. Delta and 2./ no windlass. It works well for us.

[senormechanico]

I pick the spot and drive to it. Upon arrival, wife is absolutely convinced we're too close to the nearest boat/mooring/whatever even though she readily admits to having poor depth perception. I then (and this is very important! patiently and without any sighing, talking down to her etc) explain that we're not going to hit anything or anyone. When at the previously chosen spot, I turn the wheel over to her, go forward and drop the hook. She backs on it until we're both satisfied we're sticking. After a few minutes, she admits we're just fine where we are.

Happens like this every single time...

Steve B.

[Charlie]

Originally Posted by senormechanico

I pick the spot and drive to it. Upon arrival, wife is absolutely convinced we're too close to the nearest boat/mooring/whatever even though she readily admits to having poor depth perception. I then (and this is very important! patiently and without any sighing, talking down to her etc) explain that we're not going to hit anything or anyone. When at the previously chosen spot, I turn the wheel over to her, go forward and drop the hook. She backs on it until we're both satisfied we're sticking. After a few minutes, she admits we're just fine where we are.

Happens like this every single time...

Steve B.

Before we got headsets I would say, "Ok back her down here." She would hear -- " your backside is way too wide I can see it from here." Things went down hill from there. With the headsets things go pretty well. In a tight anchorage the Admiral likes me to take charge of the helm b/c I am better at manuevering (sp?) the boat. I am trying to get her to learn more about steering b/c she is a better driver (in cars) than I am. it is not going that well. I prefer dropping the anchor b/c I am better at reading the amount of chain and have a better sense for the speed to let the chain out so that it does not fall on top of the anchor.

Headsets are great do a search on CF I got mine for around $40 run on 9V batteries. With the headsets you can do either end of the boat and still position the boat where you want it.

[cdennyb]

Jdoe71 and me are carbon copies. Wireless headsets, i'm up front, she's throttle person. I usually point and say how far... but she's drivin.
I drop, inform the current "pilot" the status and tell her, "Set at your convienence" and she backs down. Usually with a far amount of throttle, so one time I intentionally "fell off" the nose when the anchor pulled it down just to make a point. LoL It was a kodak moment... You should've seen her face!!! She thought she did it... I really milked that stunt for a while...
She backed up a bit easier the next few times.

works for us.

[thinwater]

Originally Posted by cdennyb

Jdoe71 and me are carbon copies. Wireless headsets, i'm up front, she's throttle person. I usually point and say how far... but she's drivin.
I drop, inform the current "pilot" the status and tell her, "Set at your convienence" and she backs down. Usually with a far amount of throttle, so one time I intentionally "fell off" the nose when the anchor pulled it down just to make a point. LoL It was a kodak moment... You should've seen her face!!! She thought she did it... I really milked that stunt for a while...
She backed up a bit easier the next few times.

works for us.

Yes, radios are sometimes used. But for routine rigging work in close sight, and where hearing might be quite impossible (far more noise than a boat, and too many people talking) there are standard hand signals, displayed inside the cab of the crane. It is SAFER than talking.

Right, left, neutral, forward, reverse, slower, faster, done. No yelling at all. In fact, I have worked with deaf crew. No troubles. It is simpler with all of the off-topic chatter removed. Just simple communication.

I always work the foredeck - there is a windlass, so it is not machismo. I want to see how the chain / rope reacts when the tension comes on, and to give instruction regarding setting, while I am watching the cable.

We do always discuss where we are going to set and the sequence before we start. Then, there is little to talk about.

[Portobello]

I venture to the alien land beyond the mast while my wife does the rest - usually accompanied with a range of hand gestures and sometimes finger gestures!

[sv-Mystique]

The "Admiral" is always on the helm, always! I set sails, trim the sails, pickup moorings, deploy and retrieve the anchor. We always use hand signals and never ever yell back and forth from the bow to helm. Depending on wind conditions, I'll dock the boat in the slip.

That's just our way - always remember wife happy life happy!

[Pelagic]

Before arriving the anchor is made ready to let go. I drive to the spot using my sounder and chart to find a nice depression to drop the pick…overshoot by one boat length then stop and drift with a slight sternway.

Then I quietly walk the 60 feet and after one last survey “let go” and put 2.0 scope out and let her settle.

With the brake set to pull out under medium to light stress my girl shows me the chain angle and I pull out the remaining scope, let her settle again. Then she snugs the brake for higher stress and I test till we have a good steady angle and my mate feels happy.

Sometimes we reverse the role with the key point I am making is that each of you should be comfortable dropping/retrieving yourself

[Bash]

...less reliable than hand signals, especially when it's windy. Our system is that she operates the windlass when we're setting the hook, and I operate the windlass when we're hoisting. Our understanding is that the person on the foredeck is running the boat at that moment, and the person at the helm is merely complying with instructions being signaled by hand.

[Lodesman]

The Adm and I both agree that both parties should be equally practiced at both roles. You never know when circumstances (minor injury, illness, lost eyeglasses etc) might force you to switch roles. The best time to practice is when conditions are benign and you have the time to re-set your anchor. Our four cents.

[captain58sailin]

Amen Lodesman,
I do a lot of single handing so the chore is usually all mine, but when the Admiral is with me, we take turns at each task in order to insure confidence in performance for all and a much greater comfort zone, in good conditions is the best time to practice, so in bad conditions the action is already second nature.

[GeoPowers]

Originally Posted by senormechanico

I pick the spot and drive to it. Upon arrival, wife is absolutely convinced we're too close to the nearest boat/mooring/whatever even though she readily admits to having poor depth perception. I then (and this is very important! patiently and without any sighing, talking down to her etc) explain that we're not going to hit anything or anyone. When at the previously chosen spot, I turn the wheel over to her, go forward and drop the hook. She backs on it until we're both satisfied we're sticking. After a few minutes, she admits we're just fine where we are.

Happens like this every single time...

Steve B.

Your post made me giggle, Steve, esp. the part about not sighing, etc! Anchoring is no problem for us, but my wife is a "heel-nazi", and always gives little comments such as "Hold on kids, Daddy found some wind to play with..." I just have to ~very~ patiently listen to them and reassure...

As for anchoring, Jody is always on the bow with the 'lectric windlass, and we do mostly hand signals. Number of scopes, anchor chain position (clock position), and amount of strain. After about 3-4 times the depth is paid out, I just go up to talk to her and see for my own eyes how the anchor is holding.