Top 5 Regrets of the Dying.

[MarkJ]

Originally Posted by Ann T. Cate

Anybody else out there who has regrets?

Ann Cate, s/v Insatiable II, lying Pittwater, NSW

Hi Ann!

One of the only things I have done right in life is to have no regrets. All the things I have done or not done I have done to my best ability that I could, or wanted to, at the time. Note that bit: or wanted to.
I have no friends who I hate, none I have disagreements with, no feuds, I don't hate anyone in the family, I am resolved in things I've done. Of all the things I haven't done noone are important. Ok I have never been to the Antarctic but its really not on my list.
I can't think of a regret I have. If I was knocked down by a bus tomorrow I would not be able to say I haven't told someone I love them. But I don't want to be knocked down by a bus. Not because I have unfinished business, but because I am enjoying this

It's a good way to feel.

Though I don't want to die and I don't want to die in horror etc.

Mark

[nagrom snoyl]

Never put of untill tomorrow what you can do today,,,,,,,,,,,,,

[Uncle Bob]

Originally Posted by MarkJ

So you are kinda say that risk takers (us) would not hang around in palliative care waiting to die, we would die at home, or hopefully, on board?

My mum is in a nursing home and I have already made the decision I will die in a tent in some national park of starvation beause i am too old to get to the shop before I die in one of those places.

Same same !!

[Kenomac]

Life’s journey is not to arrive at the grave safely
in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally used up and worn out, shouting...…man, what a ride!’ George Carlin


No regrets.

[JPA Cate]

Originally Posted by rebel heart

My grandmother was a Jew in Europe during WWII. She grew up in Austria and had a charmed life until Hitler showed up. She fled and ended up hiding in an Italian convent pregnant with my mother with my baby uncle. Rather than flee she chose to stay in Europe to organize resistance groups.

She traveled across the Atlantic to a "camp" set up for Jewish refugees in upstate New York. Even though she got out of Europe there was a decent level of segregation going on in America at the time. My grandmother was not permitted to leave for just under a year. My mother was born in that camp.

Anyway, I asked my grandmother weeks before her death what she thought I should do with my life. "Travel, and have fun," is what she said.

She was a major cause of me shirking everything else and focusing on an adventurous life.

Good on ya, Rebel Heart. And good on your grandmother, too, she gave you a lovely job.

Ann Cate, Insatiable II, NSW

[Pelagic]

On a more utilitarian note…. Strongly recommend this book:
Final Gifts: Understanding the Special Awareness, Needs, and Communications of the Dying: Maggie Callanan, Patricia Kelley: 9780553378764: Amazon.com: Books

Written by 3 palliative care nurses each with about 20 years experience, it is an easy and useful read of the issues of dying and how to relate to a loved one, You will all find an example in there you can relate to…. Not at all religious.

[s/v Beth]

One regret- spending too much time doing things and not enough with my kids. I think I am a good Dad, but relationships are really all that matter.

[shorebird]

How odd, there always seems to be a new thread relevant to my situation no matter how far removed from sailing it is. After a lifetime of good health, and having reached my 54th birthday on Saturday, I will be undergoing major surgery this friday, so pondering my mortality and life's regrets has been foremost on my mind for a few weeks.
A foot traverse of Banks Island in the high arctic was nearly realized in my younger days, but shall remain as my only unrealized regret, unless I manage to actually accomplish it someday. Hard for some to understand, not so much for others, but last weeks Paul McCartney concert here in Vancouver was a lifelong dream come true, especially since I missed his last Vancouver appearance 48 years ago.
Other than that, I did over 500 extended freefall parachute jumps, did scuba, climbed a few mountains, did search and rescue work for 7 years, had a career that took me all across Canada and around the world. Have two healthy happy grown children, a grand-daughter almost three, a wife who loves me for all my faults, a downtown condo overlooking False Creek, a cabin in the woods I built myself, and a Hunter 31 we sail to islands and coves around the incredible BC coast, and finally, a lot of great friends in the False Creek Yacht Club. I co-own and operate a successful manufacturing plant, and want to retire someday, not to soon, and own a bigger, better boat. And this from a guy who was raised in foster care and on welfare, quit school at 16 and left home to be free of a violent alcoholic. Regrets? With a life as great as I've had? Nah. But, bring on the surgery, the best chapter of my life hasn't been written yet. I may yet walk across Banks Island, and the sailing is just gonna keep getting better and better.

"I had a friend who lamented the price of fuel for his beautiful motor yacht, so I asked him if he had heard of a wind generated propulsion system for boats.
"no," he replied, "what do they call this system?
"sails" I replied."

Cheers,
David

[MarkJ]

Good luck, David.
Love that hand built cabin in the Outback!

[Kenomac]

Originally Posted by barnakiel

I do not buy it. I think it is a mock.

Most people are just dead scared when they are dying. Except for those who got doped with morphine or other drugs.

b.

You would think they would be scared, but not always so. I'm a retired Registered Nurse who used to work on a Medical Terminal care ward. Most who have lived a happy, joyful life where they've met their individual life goals, seem to reach an inner peace in the days prior to their dead.

Those without friends who also seem to be individuals who are full of regrets are the ones who are scared. Best explained in this book by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross 1969 "On Death and Dying"

Religion also plays a significant role on attaining inner peace towards the end... or in their view, the beginning.

[Misiu]

Originally Posted by MarkJ

I have already made the decision I will die in a tent in some national park of starvation beause i am too old to get to the shop before I die in one of those places.

'If you don't know how to die, don't worry; Nature will tell you what to do on the spot, fully and adequately. She will do this job perfectly for you; don't bother your head about it.'
Michel de Montaigne

[Bash]

You know you've spent too much time on Cruisers Forums when they ask you, on your death bed, whether you have any regrets, and, with your last breath, you respond, "I shoulda bought that D400 wind turbine rather than the AirBreeze."

[mbianka]

Originally Posted by MarkJ

Since I retired at 48 and have plunged around the oceans I have often been thrown into conversations with people who would like to go cruising but can't for one of a myriad of reasons... I've heard them all and all are total BS. Ok some are reasonable... All are reasonable at the time of saying it.

This article discusses some of those myriad of reasons...

Top five regrets of the dying | Life and style | guardian.co.uk

Mark:

I read that article too awhile ago. I've always felt it sad to see some kid in a trance playing a video game or people having a discussion about some inane TV show or movie. On their death bed will they wished they had watched more TV or seen more movies? I don't think so. But, it seems the culture these days is about entertaining yourself to death. Though I doubt most recognize that is what is actually going on when they plop down on the couch in front of the TV for the evening.
At 45 I was somewhat burnt out from working. Thanks to a pretty good value system of keeping my wants and needs in check and some investments in the good ole days of the stock market and the fact I was working a midnight shift often with 10 hour days I really did not have time to spend a lot of the money I was earning. Sleep was the commodity I most valued back then. I got to a point where I said to myself I really don't have to be working this hard or feel this bad. So I left full time employment and never looked back once I made that decision. That was twelve years ago and since then I have been able to travel on boats of various sizes all over the world and spent a majority of my time on my own too. We are running out of places to travel to but, I am also discovering new places in my local waters that I have overlooked for years that give my just as much pleasure as places we have sailed in around the world. If I were to die tomorrow I'd have no regrets. Being able to wake up without an alarm clock most days without having to be anywhere always felt like the ultimate freedom to me and I am glad I have been able to enjoy that feeling for as long as I have.

[delmarrey]

I only have one regret. If I'd known I was going to live this long, I would have taken better of myself.

[Celestialsailor]

Please see quote below...