The Downside of Cruising

[perchance]

Although not a cruising story it points out how living on a boat affects some people. My brother is friends with an 80 something ex commercial fisherman who went to sea at 13. Now confined to shore he has a nice house but refuses to live in it. The house is rented out and he lives in an Airstream trailer in the back yard. The reasons given were that he was used to having everything needed close at hand and he couldn't get used to the space in the house.

[GordMay]

Originally Posted by estarzinger

This is an interesting question.

Some people go cruising and expect it to be a vacation . . . but it can be hard work and stressful.

Some people go cruising as a way to travel and see the world . . . but you are constantly looking after the boat and if you are really looking to travel there are probably better way.

The fact that cruising can be an emotional roller coaster (intense wonderful high experiences rapidly followed by deep depressing bad times in a rapid cycle) is difficult for some people to adapt to.

Money and health and parents often call people home.

The women are often reluctant at the start and then don't get so much from the experience (except to wash both the clothing and dishes by hand), and so sometimes say enough is enough and bring the couple home.

Indeed!

[slomotion]

Originally Posted by sweetsailing

Some items on my list are: 1) comfortable mattress 2) comfortable cockpit cushions with back support.

After 2 1/2 years of cruising the Bahamas/Caribbean, I think you have correctly identified the top two:

1. Some people can get used to anything, and most people sleep better on boats. But, the cummulative direct and indirect effects of sleeping on a wrestling mat type mattress can have a severely negative impact on extended cruising. Conversely, the direct and indirect benefits of a to-die-for mattress cannot be overstated.

Also, the sleeping area itself is important. At anchor you will be up and down during the night (especially if you do not have a to-die-for mattress) more often than on land. If this requires contortions or worse - crawling over your partner - it will quickly become a PITA.

2. When not working on boat stuff, you will spend most of your awake-on-the-boat time in the Bahamas/Caribbean in the cockpit. It needs to be well shaded and comfortable for lounging for at least two people - so you can take turns stooping down the companion way to get more ice. In some ways cockpit lounging is the whole point of being there.

[shadow]

One of the main things that I worked on and still working on is getting to enjoy "the now" and avoiding the need to "keep busy." As already mentioned, a lot of people tend to get bored easily. Years ago, I was one of those people that needed to constantly be doing something to feel that I am accomplishing something. Now, I'm at the stage that I can just sit there and just enjoy the overall big picture of the moment. I am preparing for those days when I may be stuck in the cockpit with nothing to do (not including the endless boat projects).

I have outgrown the need to keep my entire day packed full of things to do, even if it's busy useless work.... I think the whole point to cruising and boating or even fishing for that matter is to just enjoy the overall situation at that moment.. Catching a fish is a bonus, getting somewhere is a bonus, etc... If it takes 3 days to go 20nm, who cares..

It was a hard road getting to this state of mind, but hope that I adjusted enough for when we live on board full time... This of course doesn't include the various things that will inevitably pop up.. But, hopefully in my state of relaxed, laid back attitude, it will all be done in time....

[David_Old_Jersey]

Originally Posted by MarkJ

For some people theres only so many ABC's and AFC's you can see before keeling over (Another Bloody Castle and Another F'ing Cathedral).

Reminds me of my time seeing Australia by bus.

"MMFA"

Miles & Miles of F#ck All

(yer get plenty of time to think up these things up on a bus. In Australia )

[GordMay]

Originally Posted by David_Old_Jersey

... "MMFA"
Miles & Miles of F#ck All ...

Not unlike western Canada, where we say:
"MMS*FA"

* Sweet

[Jim Cate]

G'Day Greg and all,

You have posed an interesting question, and one that will have lots of different answers.

First, one must distinguish between what we call "lifers" and term cruisers. Lifers are those that intend to continue cruising until they fall off of their perches, and term cruisers are those with a plan to cruise for an extended period, but with the intention to return to dirt dwelling at the end of the cruise.

In our experience, we started cruising with the idea of continuing until it was no longer "fun" (whatever that meant). That was 24 years ago now, and we're still at it, so I guess it must still be "fun". But, I think that our definition of "fun" may have changed. In the early years, we were driven to move fairly quickly, explore lots of new areas, and do lots of miles. After a few such seasons, we began to slow down a bit, and to spend more time in each new venue. We invested a lot of energy in getting to know the local people better. We spent months anchored off of one village in Fiji, to the point that we were told (on our third visit) that we didn't need to go through the "sevu-sevu" ceremony, since it was "our" village. We felt quite honoured.

This process was educational, valuable and very hard work. The work is associated with trying to become a part of their lives without contaminating their somewhat fragile cultures with too much first world baggage... but I digress. This phase drew to a close as we realized that we were seeing the same problems in every island group that we visited, and that our efforts really didn't address any of their issues in a meaningful way. In fact they seemed to promote the villagers dependence on outside help and support rather than aiding their entrance into the modern world and improving their life experiences.

In the last decade or so we have found our pleasure in re-visiting places in the South Pacific that have become special to us. This may be due to physical beauty, but more often because we have made friends with individuals, and we like to return to renew our bonds with them. We also balance our time between first and third world areas. It is interesting to us, as we go back and forth between cultures, to see how they are changing and how they are coping with the changes... and changes there are, here in Australia and in, say, the northern islands of Vanuatu.

So, in the long run it is the people we've met and come to know that keep us cruising. Of course, we have all the boat maintenance/improvement issues to deal with, and fortunately I still enjoy most of that work. And we still enjoy the physical side of sailing... one of the reasons that we bought this boat is that it is fun to sail! We even take people out for day-sails now and then, something few cruisers seem to do.

Now, the folks that we called term cruisers have a different set of criteria. They often have a set itinerary to stick to and in some cases the need to Press On Regardless spoils their chances of enjoying the cruise fully. And too, the first year or two are often the hardest to endure... so much to learn, so much to break and then fix. I suspect that these are the folks who feel that the downsides of cruising are predominant, who feel that the awkward bunk or the need to conserve water or whatever outweigh the pleasures of the life.

So, Greg, weighing the good against the bad aspects of the cruising life is mostly a matter of your specific expectations for the adventure. I think that your background of sailing with Lulu will have prepared you for dealing with the more technical issues of cruising (giving you a big leg up on many folks who post these sorts of queries on the CF). Your enjoyment will depend an the balance between expectations and the reality that you find beyond the horizon. From our brief acquaintence, I think that you and Heidi will do just fine!

Cheers,

Jim and Ann s/v Insatiable II lying Lamb Island, Morton Bay Qld, Oz

[Blue Stocking]

There is another thread dealing with how you spend your time, running at the moment.
IMHO, there is more depth of human introspection here on this board, than in "Headshrinker Quarterly".
But what do i know? I have Bluestocking up for a paint job-not because she needs it-but because i owe her a freshing up.
If she sells i will be unhappy-if she doesn't sell, i will be unhappy.
Thats what boats do to you

Jim, You got in ahead of me. I wish I could have put it so eloquently.

[sailorboy1]

I wonder about how to keep busy. even on the short trips I'm able to make now when I get on a course that isn't going to change for hours I start to get jumpy. Learning to just slow down I fear is going to be the biggest lesson for me to learn.

Meanwhile, having to walk 200' or whatever it was. When I was in the navy on sub duty we had to pass PE tests or running 1.5 miles in X minutes. Thisfor guys who lived on something 243' long and never were allowed to even walk fast.

[colemj]

Originally Posted by MarkJ

[COLOR=black][FONT=Verdana]For some people theres only so many ABC's and AFC's you can see before keeling over (Another Bloody Castle and Another F'ing Cathedral)

(Begin Monty Python sketch)
You have castles and cathedrals? OOOHH, how I dream of castles and cathedrals! In my cruising grounds we only have ABF's and AFF's (F=abandoned fort) and the only differences between the two are the swear words used to describe them.

Mark

[colemj]

We have met a lot of cruisers who have quit and there are a few common reasons.

As someone else mentioned, many cruisers define their cruise from the start and stop when it is done. This can range from 4 years snowbirding the East Coast US and Bahamas to a 2-3 year circumnavigation. They plan well and they do it. These cruisers are happy on both sides of their adventures and I think this is a great way to have an experience in life.

Cruisers with kids often leave because at some point the education requirements exceed the ability to deliver them. And the kids are ready for a different adventure (puberty and high school - an adventure I would have skipped in hindsight). All of these cruisers are happy, and many of them return to the life after the kids leave.

A large number of cruisers we have met that quit left because one of them was reluctant from the start and never really got comfortable. Many times this isn't acknowledged directly, and the reasons given are a new grandchild or needing to spend time with an aging parent, etc. These are great reasons to quit cruising, but also ones that are known, or should be known and discussed, before you start cruising. These cruisers tend to not be very happy during their time out there.

The largest group of people we meet who moved off the boat are ones that were badly prepared for the lifestyle altogether. Buying a boat, retiring and sailing off were dreams sparked and fed by cruising magazines and books describing an idyllic lifestyle akin to a Carnival cruiseline vacation. They have done no research and couldn't be bothered to employ even a tiny bit of introspection or common sense. They go to the Bahamas and expect rainforests (really, we have met several couples who were extremely disappointed upon reaching the Bahamas and not having mountains and lush greenery). They go to Mexico or Guatemala and expect Club Med amenities. They go anywhere outside the US with a superior attitude and have bad experiences with other cultures and people. Their boats are loaded to the gunwales with electronics, systems and fluff, but they don't know the first thing about any of it and get downright pissed and nasty when they can't get something fixed in an out island no matter how much they demand and yell. (this isn't a rant on loaded boats - ours is loaded, but I know how to maintain and fix it and am ready to do without whenever something goes south). These cruisers are unhappy from the start and are always blaming someone or something for ruining their plans. We recognize these types from miles away and know they are ones that won't make it within a single minute of meeting them.

Other cruisers we have met that moved on to something different were out for many years and enjoyed it all. When we ask why they are leaving cruising, they just say that they woke up one day and it just felt like the right time to go. Many of these people go to other adventures like RV'ing around North America or moving to another country and establishing residence.

Mark

[osirissail]

I think Colemj has said it best in his paragraph about the "largest group." I have seen new cruisers that have "shopping mall withdrawal syndrome" and have to fly back home. Others are just not prepared to sail away from the "cocoon of federal care" into the real world of "self reliance" and responsibility. I heard a radio call for the St Vincent "Coast Guard" by a frantic lady sailor who wanted them to remove the boat that was anchored too close to them. Got a good laugh out of that one.
- - The "short timer" cruisers quit when the real world gets too tough mainly because they are not prepared to handle it. On the other hand there are others who thrive on this new experience of self reliance and responsibility and convert to "long timers."
- - But even with "long timers" as MarkJ put it - there are only so many fort ruins and idyllic little anchorages you can absorb before you get too "jaded" and start craving some "shopping mall" time.
- - And the biggest "bummer" for long timers is the lack of desire to go out and get "beaten up" again in nasty seas. It was fun when it was a new "macho/macha" experience but after a few years of it, it gets to be a major drag. So you look for idyll weather to make the "crossing" and those are harder and harder to find.
- - I believe everything occurs in cycles and after months of idyll and great experiences with a well functioning boat - - major things start breaking piling up astronomical bills; anchors that worked perfectly before now won't set and drag; you have a string of run-ins with nasty officials, one after the other. And subconsciously life on land (the other side of the pasture) starts to look "greener."
- - If you can maintain a long term perspective, you can combat these times. Sure, cruising is the "pits" right now, but give it a little while and the "good" times will cycle back in. And if you are smart during the "good" times you will remember to doubly enjoy them because things will get "rotten" sometime soon again.
- - Unfortunately not many people can do that in their heads and they expect the "30 minute soap opera happy ending" and after the first "down cycle" give up and sell the boat.

[MarkJ]

Originally Posted by David_Old_Jersey

Reminds me of my time seeing Australia by bus. "MMFA" Miles & Miles of F#ck All

Next time open the shades.

[imagine2frolic]

I think my signature says a lot, and it's the truth, but it's no bed of roses ashore either. It's just a whole lot easier........i2f

[EllanVannin]

I asked my hubby this question re coming back home from cruising in the South Pacific about fifteen years ago.....in his words

"I was sick of waking up next to women who couldn't speak english"

I am hoping this will not be the reason he terminates our venture into cruising life together