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coot · 15-03-2006, 21:24

Werner Heisenberg gets stopped for speeding and the cop asks him "Do you know how fast you were going?"

Heisenberg says "No, but I know where I am!"

**GordMay** · 16-03-2006, 02:28

I'm uncertain what that means.

**Alan Wheeler** · 16-03-2006, 10:39

I'm glad I am not the only one.

CaptainK · 16-03-2006, 11:48

With all due respect to "coot"

That joke really didn't make any sense. You could see it had a couple of "WTF?" posts afterward. If you can't post anything funnier. Please don't contribute then?

Ladies & Gentleman.

Classic example of a bad tastless joke falls under like this

Bad Joke

Quote:

Werner Heisenberg gets stopped for speeding and the cop asks him "Do you know how fast you were going?"

I hate to see any more like this? Bad. Very bad!!

**GordMay** · 16-03-2006, 14:23

Mark:
Perhaps you'd better explain the principle underlying your joke, befor our uncertainty gains any further momentum. The quicker the better - or maybe not ...

**GordMay** · 16-03-2006, 15:54

The First Mate was in a rare mood as he finished drilling the crew. He barked out a final order: "All right, you idiots, fall out!" The men fell out, but one sailor stood firm.
The sailor stared at the First Mate and smiled. "There were a lot of them, weren't there sir?"

CaptainK · 16-03-2006, 16:02

coot · 16-03-2006, 18:29

Quote:

GordMay once whispered in the wind:
Mark:
Perhaps you'd better explain the principle underlying your joke, befor our uncertainty gains any further momentum. The quicker the better - or maybe not ...

Obviously, I underestimated how well Heisenberg's Uncertainty Principle has penetrated into public knowledge.

Heisenberg's Uncertainty Principle states that you cannot measure both the position and momentum of a particle with high accuracy. To get more accuracy in the position part of the measurement, you sacrifice accuracy in the momentum part. (Or the other way around.)

Heisenberg doesn't say that your measuring device isn't good enough -- he says that even if you have infinitely precise equipment, you still face this limitation.

Obviously some of you got the joke (uncertain, momentum).

I was going to put an Einstein joke here, but maybe not.

How about:

I had a nightmare last night. I dreamed my mother was Dolly Parton and I was a bottle baby.

[Thanks to Henny Youngman for that one.]

CaptainK · 16-03-2006, 18:37

I thought his name sounded like a another Einstein type?

BC Mike · 16-03-2006, 18:58

I don't get upset about blond jokes as I know I am not dumb, and I am definately not blond. Dolly Parton
Michael

**Alan Wheeler** · 16-03-2006, 20:25

Arrrrhh!! Quantum Physics.
I had some uncertainty, but everytime I thought I had it, it moved in my thinking and I was uncertain again.

The basis of that theory is the observation of particals so small, that to measure them, you changed their speed or position. Some particals exist in theory only. It is known that they have to exist, but to "see" them alters them in "time and space".
To explain in easy english, say a partical we want to see is so small, that a partical of light is much bigger in mass. We see things by light bouncing off a object. But if the object is so small, when light hits it, it bounces away. So you can't see it, even though it was there.
Quantum Physics is very very interesting stuff and full of quandries like that example.

OK so that all ain't funny, so I better keep with it.

OK, so this Guy walks into a Bar
.
.
.
.
.
Ouch

16-03-2006, 20:26

Coot, I got it, and liked it. Just more of the useless factoids I have aquired over the years.
Nothing like a little quantum physics for fun and relaxation.