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Old 13-03-2014, 09:37   #16
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Re: Bad MacGyvering ! Questionable Funny Repairs

Once made it back from a weekend cruise on the Chesapeake thanks to a pair of the wife's panty hose when the alternator belt broke on the diesel. Panty hose (or other nylon stockings) make a great MacGyvered emergency belt because the knot becomes very small and won't jump out of the pulley grooves, but the rest of the hose expands to fill the pulley groove and provide decent friction.

The scariest MacGyvered repair I've seen, though, was on my best friend's old Pearson Wanderer. The piston fitting on the inboard end of his spinnaker pole had seized up solid, so he was coupling the fitting to the ring on the mast car with a stainless hose clamp! I was out with him on a gusty daysail when -- as always -- he was flying the spinnaker. As I watched that hose clamp twist and contort with every gust, it wasn't hard to imagine the hose clamp finally parting, and the spinnaker pole -- like an arrow shot from a bow -- impaling one of the crew members. He sailed with it rigged that way the rest of the season.
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Old 13-03-2014, 09:42   #17
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Re: Bad MacGyvering ! Questionable Funny Repairs

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Originally Posted by a64pilot View Post
Had a hydraulic steering hose blow on our Center Console fishing boat a couple of years ago, duct taped an oar to the side of the outboard and used it like a tiller to get home, does that count?
BTW down South we call it something different
Definitely counts!!!!

By calling it something else you mean...

Something like the pamphlet I wrote???

Users Guide to Afro-American Ingenuity???

something rigging????

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Originally Posted by a64pilot View Post
Had a fuel pump go out in an F-250 pick up when I was a teenager, so we opened the hood and my friend sat under the hood dribbling gas from a can into the carburator all the way home.
Tell me he used a open coffee can???
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Old 13-03-2014, 09:54   #18
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Re: Bad MacGyvering ! Questionable Funny Repairs

Drove from England to Mongolia in a very old ambulance that i got from ebay. Radiator fell off because the chassis was so rusty that there was nothing left to bolt it onto. Of course, that meant that it was now sitting on the cooling fan, which proceeded to melt through the plastic casing around the radiator and set it on fire. When the smoke cleared I did an abysmal repair by splitting a bit of wood with a penknife and lashing it across the top of the engine to attach the radiator to. A second bit of string held the bonnet in a vaguely-closed position. It lasted all of about 10 miles before falling off again. The real fix was done by some local lads who found some scrap metal and some bolts, bolted the old bits back together, used a screwdriver to pry apart the (now punctured) radiator fins that were broken and stuffed some yak wool and yak fat up into them to stop the leak. Lasted beautifully. of course, the bonnet never closed again....... and the only water we had to fill the radiator was river water........ and it was getting down to about negative 10 degrees at night so i kept having to get up and run the engine to stop it freezing.......... but the fix held!
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Old 13-03-2014, 10:04   #19
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Re: Bad MacGyvering ! Questionable Funny Repairs

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Originally Posted by mikeguyver View Post
It all started when I was about 18 , the gear shift lever on the Mustang disappeared through the floor outside Orlando at about midnight, drove home by shifting gears by hand through the hole in the floor. That was 45 years ago and 9,653,371 incidents ago and s___ is still happening.
When I was a broke college student many, many years ago, I was commuting 90 miles on weekends from my summer job in rural western PA to see my girl in Pittsburgh in my first car -- a rusty '59 Triumph TR3 roadster that I paid $150 for when I found it abandoned without a top alongside a back road.

In Indiana, PA, still about 60 miles from Pittsburgh, late on Friday evening, I stepped on the gas pedal, heard a snap, and nothing happened. A quick peek under the hood told me that the throttle linkage had snapped. I was still sitting at a traffic light, so I quickly screwed the idle up to about 2500 rpm, got back in the car, and toodled around at "idle" until I found a gas station that was still open. There was no mechanic on duty -- and he wouldn't have had parts anyway -- so I bummed a length of wire. I attached one end to the bellcrank on the carburetor and ran the other end through a hole in the firewall. I twisted a loop into the end so that it lie alongside my right leg so that I could use it as a crude hand throttle.

It was only about a 1/4" pull against a stiff spring from idle to full throttle -- and I also had to use my right hand to shift gears -- so it took a bit of practice to drive with any semblance of smoothness. I carried on, but needed to get on the Pennsylvania Turnpike (no ticket machines in those days, the late '60s). I pulled into the toll booth, trying to coolly conceal the hand throttle against my right thigh, as I knew they wouldn't let me on if the toll guy spotted it. Using it in that position was rather awkward, though, and -- in my nervousness -- I inadvertently pulled on full throttle and dropped the clutch. That little old TR laid about 15' of rubber out of the toll booth!

I fully expected to be pulled over a mile or so down the turnpike, but it never happened. Got to see my girl and got the proper parts in Pittsburgh over that weekend, which would have been spoiled completely without the Macgyver.
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Old 13-03-2014, 10:07   #20
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Re: Bad MacGyvering ! Questionable Funny Repairs

Quote:
Originally Posted by DefinitelyMe View Post
Drove from England to Mongolia in a very old ambulance that i got from ebay. Radiator fell off because the chassis was so rusty that there was nothing left to bolt it onto. Of course, that meant that it was now sitting on the cooling fan, which proceeded to melt through the plastic casing around the radiator and set it on fire. When the smoke cleared I did an abysmal repair by splitting a bit of wood with a penknife and lashing it across the top of the engine to attach the radiator to. A second bit of string held the bonnet in a vaguely-closed position. It lasted all of about 10 miles before falling off again. The real fix was done by some local lads who found some scrap metal and some bolts, bolted the old bits back together, used a screwdriver to pry apart the (now punctured) radiator fins that were broken and stuffed some yak wool and yak fat up into them to stop the leak. Lasted beautifully. of course, the bonnet never closed again....... and the only water we had to fill the radiator was river water........ and it was getting down to about negative 10 degrees at night so i kept having to get up and run the engine to stop it freezing.......... but the fix held!
WHAT A STORY!!!

OK... You got me beat.... I'm sourcing some yak wool and fat now for my emergency spares!
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Old 13-03-2014, 10:10   #21
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Re: Bad MacGyvering ! Questionable Funny Repairs

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ukeluthier View Post
Once made it back from a weekend cruise on the Chesapeake thanks to a pair of the wife's panty hose when the alternator belt broke on the diesel. Panty hose (or other nylon stockings) make a great MacGyvered emergency belt because the knot becomes very small and won't jump out of the pulley grooves, but the rest of the hose expands to fill the pulley groove and provide decent friction.

The scariest MacGyvered repair I've seen, though, was on my best friend's old Pearson Wanderer. The piston fitting on the inboard end of his spinnaker pole had seized up solid, so he was coupling the fitting to the ring on the mast car with a stainless hose clamp! I was out with him on a gusty daysail when -- as always -- he was flying the spinnaker. As I watched that hose clamp twist and contort with every gust, it wasn't hard to imagine the hose clamp finally parting, and the spinnaker pole -- like an arrow shot from a bow -- impaling one of the crew members. He sailed with it rigged that way the rest of the season.
I've used 1/8" nylon cord with great success for a belt.... Panty hose sounds like a "must have" for a spares kit!!!

Maaaaaan.... I woulda been freaked out with the hose clamp pole coupler!
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Old 13-03-2014, 10:15   #22
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Re: Bad MacGyvering ! Questionable Funny Repairs

I used to believe the saying " necessity is the mother of invention " but later after marriage and kids I realized that was backwards...."mother is the necessity for invention"

growing up poor builds character
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Old 13-03-2014, 10:26   #23
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Re: Bad MacGyvering ! Questionable Funny Repairs

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ukeluthier View Post
Once made it back from a weekend cruise on the Chesapeake thanks to a pair of the wife's panty hose when the alternator belt broke on the diesel. Panty hose (or other nylon stockings) make a great MacGyvered emergency belt because the knot becomes very small and won't jump out of the pulley grooves, but the rest of the hose expands to fill the pulley groove and provide decent friction.

The scariest MacGyvered repair I've seen, though, was on my best friend's old Pearson Wanderer. The piston fitting on the inboard end of his spinnaker pole had seized up solid, so he was coupling the fitting to the ring on the mast car with a stainless hose clamp! I was out with him on a gusty daysail when -- as always -- he was flying the spinnaker. As I watched that hose clamp twist and contort with every gust, it wasn't hard to imagine the hose clamp finally parting, and the spinnaker pole -- like an arrow shot from a bow -- impaling one of the crew members. He sailed with it rigged that way the rest of the season.
I've used 1/8" nylon cord with great success for a belt.... Panty hose sounds like a "must have" for a spares kit!!!

Maaaaaan.... I woulda been freaked out with the hose clamp pole coupler!
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Old 13-03-2014, 10:33   #24
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Re: Bad MacGyvering ! Questionable Funny Repairs

I only have one thing to add. 5200
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Old 13-03-2014, 10:48   #25
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Re: Bad MacGyvering ! Questionable Funny Repairs

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ukeluthier View Post
When I was a broke college student many, many years ago, I was commuting 90 miles on weekends from my summer job in rural western PA to see my girl in Pittsburgh in my first car -- a rusty '59 Triumph TR3 roadster that I paid $150 for when I found it abandoned without a top alongside a back road.

In Indiana, PA, still about 60 miles from Pittsburgh, late on Friday evening, I stepped on the gas pedal, heard a snap, and nothing happened. A quick peek under the hood told me that the throttle linkage had snapped. I was still sitting at a traffic light, so I quickly screwed the idle up to about 2500 rpm, got back in the car, and toodled around at "idle" until I found a gas station that was still open. There was no mechanic on duty -- and he wouldn't have had parts anyway -- so I bummed a length of wire. I attached one end to the bellcrank on the carburetor and ran the other end through a hole in the firewall. I twisted a loop into the end so that it lie alongside my right leg so that I could use it as a crude hand throttle.

It was only about a 1/4" pull against a stiff spring from idle to full throttle -- and I also had to use my right hand to shift gears -- so it took a bit of practice to drive with any semblance of smoothness. I carried on, but needed to get on the Pennsylvania Turnpike (no ticket machines in those days, the late '60s). I pulled into the toll booth, trying to coolly conceal the hand throttle against my right thigh, as I knew they wouldn't let me on if the toll guy spotted it. Using it in that position was rather awkward, though, and -- in my nervousness -- I inadvertently pulled on full throttle and dropped the clutch. That little old TR laid about 15' of rubber out of the toll booth!

I fully expected to be pulled over a mile or so down the turnpike, but it never happened. Got to see my girl and got the proper parts in Pittsburgh over that weekend, which would have been spoiled completely without the Macgyver.
Great story! Mine is somewhat similar and also occurred on the PA Turnpike. I was a poor college student going to Penn State. My trusty '71 Pontiac LeMans had been leaking transmission fluid out the font seal for some time, but I had neither the tools, place to work, or the money to fix it at school, so I topped off the fluid and started on my way. I was fine till I began to go over the mountains. The increased load on the trans pump was causing the front seal to leak badly, spraying transmission fluid all over the underside of the car and the exhaust pipes and mufflers. The hot mufflers and pipes was burning off the fluid and I was leaving plumes of smoke behind me, but still making weigh. Within 20 minutes, the trans started slipping as I was running out of fluid. This happened 3 times. I stopped at a rest stop (remember Howard Johnsons rest stops on the PA TP) to buy more fluid. Bought all they had. Then I rigged the hose from my transmission fill funnel through a hole in the fire wall. I found that if I removed the stereo, I had just enough hose to route from the funnel (taped to the front top of the dash), through where the stereo was, through the fire wall, and to the transmission fluid fill. This way I could fill the transmission as I was driving, making smoke. I found it easier to just ignore the view in my mirrors from then on. I made it almost all the way home when I was stopped by a LEO for all the smoke. This was on the parkway just outside of Pittsburgh. When he looked in my car and saw the funnel taped to the dashboard, the (now mostly empty) case of transmission fluid, and the "emptys" on the floor, he just shook his head. He did let me go when I explained what happened and it likely helped that he knew my Dad who was also a Pittsburgh Cop. I spent the next day changing the seal. The procedure involved 2 sets of car ramps, 2 bumper jacks, 2 2x4's and a bunch of old bricks in a cobbled together sort of lift to get the transmission in and out from beneath the car. I also got an ear-full (literally) of transmission fluid while on my back under the car) It was a long day, with plenty of head scratching, but that car served me for another 2 years.
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Old 13-03-2014, 10:52   #26
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Re: Bad MacGyvering ! Questionable Funny Repairs

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ukeluthier View Post
When I was a broke college student many, many years ago, I was commuting 90 miles on weekends from my summer job in rural western PA to see my girl in Pittsburgh in my first car -- a rusty '59 Triumph TR3 roadster that I paid $150 for when I found it abandoned without a top alongside a back road.

In Indiana, PA, still about 60 miles from Pittsburgh, late on Friday evening, I stepped on the gas pedal, heard a snap, and nothing happened. A quick peek under the hood told me that the throttle linkage had snapped. I was still sitting at a traffic light, so I quickly screwed the idle up to about 2500 rpm, got back in the car, and toodled around at "idle" until I found a gas station that was still open. There was no mechanic on duty -- and he wouldn't have had parts anyway -- so I bummed a length of wire. I attached one end to the bellcrank on the carburetor and ran the other end through a hole in the firewall. I twisted a loop into the end so that it lie alongside my right leg so that I could use it as a crude hand throttle.

It was only about a 1/4" pull against a stiff spring from idle to full throttle -- and I also had to use my right hand to shift gears -- so it took a bit of practice to drive with any semblance of smoothness. I carried on, but needed to get on the Pennsylvania Turnpike (no ticket machines in those days, the late '60s). I pulled into the toll booth, trying to coolly conceal the hand throttle against my right thigh, as I knew they wouldn't let me on if the toll guy spotted it. Using it in that position was rather awkward, though, and -- in my nervousness -- I inadvertently pulled on full throttle and dropped the clutch. That little old TR laid about 15' of rubber out of the toll booth!

I fully expected to be pulled over a mile or so down the turnpike, but it never happened. Got to see my girl and got the proper parts in Pittsburgh over that weekend, which would have been spoiled completely without the Macgyver.
Holy Crap!

Are you serious???? You had a 3???

I have HUNDREDS of TR3 stories!!!!
Had a '60 TR3A... plus other TR's

First one being the look on my mothers face when I brought it home on a trailer... 2nd story is priceless.... The look again....

My brother and I were trying to unfreeze the engine by towing it behind our motorhome (picture a giant 70's thing... ridiculously hideous, with white, yellow and lime green stripes.... ).... And repeatedly dropping the clutch leaving 30 or so 10' skid marks all over the street!!!

Another method was required...

(Pics taken of an album... just before a car show... I'll find/scan more)
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Old 13-03-2014, 10:57   #27
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Re: Bad MacGyvering ! Questionable Funny Repairs

Quote:
Originally Posted by mikeguyver View Post
I used to believe the saying " necessity is the mother of invention " but later after marriage and kids I realized that was backwards...."mother is the necessity for invention"

growing up poor builds character
You got that RIGHT!!!! (plus whatever money we had was reserved for beer and gas)

Quote:
Originally Posted by IdoraKeeper View Post
I only have one thing to add. 5200
If we had 5200 when we were kids... We woulda been INVINCIBLE!!!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Saltyhog View Post
Great story! Mine is somewhat similar and also occurred on the PA Turnpike. I was a poor college student going to Penn State. My trusty '71 Pontiac LeMans had been leaking transmission fluid out the font seal for some time, but I had neither the tools, place to work, or the money to fix it at school, so I topped off the fluid and started on my way. I was fine till I began to go over the mountains. The increased load on the trans pump was causing the front seal to leak badly, spraying transmission fluid all over the underside of the car and the exhaust pipes and mufflers. The hot mufflers and pipes was burning off the fluid and I was leaving plumes of smoke behind me, but still making weigh. Within 20 minutes, the trans started slipping as I was running out of fluid. This happened 3 times. I stopped at a rest stop (remember Howard Johnsons rest stops on the PA TP) to buy more fluid. Bought all they had. Then I rigged the hose from my transmission fill funnel through a hole in the fire wall. I found that if I removed the stereo, I had just enough hose to route from the funnel (taped to the front top of the dash), through where the stereo was, through the fire wall, and to the transmission fluid fill. This way I could fill the transmission as I was driving, making smoke. I found it easier to just ignore the view in my mirrors from then on. I made it almost all the way home when I was stopped by a LEO for all the smoke. This was on the parkway just outside of Pittsburgh. When he looked in my car and saw the funnel taped to the dashboard, the (now mostly empty) case of transmission fluid, and the "emptys" on the floor, he just shook his head. He did let me go when I explained what happened and it likely helped that he knew my Dad who was also a Pittsburgh Cop. I spent the next day changing the seal. The procedure involved 2 sets of car ramps, 2 bumper jacks, 2 2x4's and a bunch of old bricks in a cobbled together sort of lift to get the transmission in and out from beneath the car. I also got an ear-full (literally) of transmission fluid while on my back under the car) It was a long day, with plenty of head scratching, but that car served me for another 2 years.
Oh man... we coulda been brothers!
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Old 13-03-2014, 11:03   #28
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Re: Bad MacGyvering ! Questionable Funny Repairs

Years ago on a trip back from the Dry Trotugas to Cape coral, Had a valve rocker bearing break off from the valve tower, on an old Yanmar 3QM30, 20 miles from shore, and of course no wind. One second the engine was purring along, the next it was making all kinds O racket.

Pulled the valve cover off and saw the exhaust valve rocker at a 30 degree angle, with the bearing surface broken off from the valve tower. Spent 1/2 an hour looking at this, trying to figure out how to get the engine running on 2 cylinders, without the third firing/exhausting out the intake, which is what was happening. I'm an engineer I thought, I can fix this.

Came up with the idea of using a 1/2" socket, penny and duct tape to use as an extension spacer over the valve. Then tied that decompression lever to hold that intake valve open just a bit so it would not fire.

Started it up on 2 cylinders and we motored another five hours back home. Oil pressure was under 20 psi due to the broken rocker bearing. I should note that the bearing surface was still smooth. The cast iron casting appeared to be flawed. A new valve rocker tower ($56) fixed it right.
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Old 13-03-2014, 11:20   #29
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Re: Bad MacGyvering ! Questionable Funny Repairs

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Originally Posted by sailorchic34 View Post
Years ago on a trip back from the Dry Trotugas to Cape coral, Had a valve rocker bearing break off from the valve tower, on an old Yanmar 3QM30, 20 miles from shore, and of course no wind. One second the engine was purring along, the next it was making all kinds O racket.

Pulled the valve cover off and saw the exhaust valve rocker at a 30 degree angle, with the bearing surface broken off from the valve tower. Spent 1/2 an hour looking at this, trying to figure out how to get the engine running on 2 cylinders, without the third firing/exhausting out the intake, which is what was happening. I'm an engineer I thought, I can fix this.

Came up with the idea of using a 1/2" socket, penny and duct tape to use as an extension spacer over the valve. Then tied that decompression lever to hold that intake valve open just a bit so it would not fire.

Started it up on 2 cylinders and we motored another five hours back home. Oil pressure was under 20 psi due to the broken rocker bearing. I should note that the bearing surface was still smooth. The cast iron casting appeared to be flawed. A new valve rocker tower ($56) fixed it right.
There's my girl!!!

Nice job!!!! All ya gotta do is think it through!!!

I sooooooooooooooo coulda used you on the V8 to V6 conversion... It would have saved me at least an hour trying to convince the crowd that I wasn't 100% out of my mind with my idea....

To their credit ... It was 8 AM.... I was thoroughly inebriated.... And... They were still pretty jumpy from the fire and ensuing roadside evacuation from the motorhome...

Sump oil on a hot exhaust ... he... he.... What??? I was prepared with extinguishers!!!
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Old 13-03-2014, 12:16   #30
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Re: Bad MacGyvering ! Questionable Funny Repairs

I really want to hear the jet ski story
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