What Best Suits a Wife on a Catamaran?

[JPA Cate]

Here are the reasons having a washing machine aboard is not important to me, other people's mileage may vary:

1) the w.m. requires a lot of support--for us it would mean new plumbing and expense, a water-maker, and a gen-set, with attendant wiring, and complexity.

2) installing it in our boat (which is our home) would be extremely disruptive, as well as very much work for the skipper.

3) we actually think it is a good thing to contribute to the communities we visit in that small way.

4) It would add a lot of weight to the boat, as well. We like our boat to sail well.

And yet, it would be more convenient to have one; however the added complexity, and anticipated maintenance and repair, force it lower on my wish list.

Ann

[Therapy]

Originally Posted by wambam

No. .. this is NOT a troll.
I have a dear friend who listens to me goin' on and on about how great it is to live aboard a Catamaran (in my case a Catalac 9M).

Now he is seriously considering buying one ( A similar Catalac 9 but is swinging between that and a Prout Quest 33. But that will be a different post shortly ).

Because you are single and he is married right?

Anyway, one of his problems (which does not apply to me) is as follows:
His wife is really freaking out about her living aboard for any length of time. He asks me how to swing her over to a trial period. How would I know?

[COLOR="rgb(65, 105, 225)"]"Really freaking" That is a bad sign if he presented it well. [/COLOR]

So I put it to those of you (prob. Old Salts) who have had enough experience in this field. What is your consensus on the needs of a woman on board.

hmmm. . . I think I might have phrased that somewhat not quite right.

What conditions would y'all consider to be helpful to enable a woman to feel she is going to really enjoy living aboard a reasonably small Catamaran such as a Catalac or Quest 33 ?

[COLOR="rgb(65, 105, 225)"]She has to like to camp. Period. Not necessarily a tent but even a small trailer is bigger than a medium sized boat - and it holds still.[/COLOR]

Tryin' to think - would she need hanging space for clothes (or for hanging her husband if she loses it ?).

[COLOR="rgb(65, 105, 225)"]No question about it.[/COLOR]
Would she need a shower installed? [COLOR="rgb(65, 105, 225)"]You bet.[/COLOR] What if she likes to take a bath and not a shower ? [COLOR="rgb(65, 105, 225)"]He's in deep doo-doo. There are only a few boats out there with tubs.[/COLOR]What would she do then, in such a small boat?[COLOR="rgb(65, 105, 225)"]Piss, moan, nag, leave, file. [/COLOR]

How would cooking in a confined space grab her? [COLOR="rgb(65, 105, 225)"]It sucks till you learn how to do it properly - See "small trailer, above. [/COLOR]The list goes on and on. I am talking about on the hook or blue water.

I told my friend I would hit on you guys for advice (or you gals who have already gone down that road).

Maybe there is a book for men in such a dilemma. [COLOR="rgb(65, 105, 225)"]It is usually magazines.............with fold out color pics.[/COLOR]

Anyway - please tell me of your experiences in this area, of which I have not the slightest knowledge. To me this is a very deep hole.

Lots of good advice before I came across this thread.

If the lady will not try a charter then don't even start down the road of anguish.

edit - well hell. the color didn't show for the rest. Is that because I haven't paid my 15.00 yet?

[Seaworthy Lass]

Originally Posted by Therapy

edit - well hell. the color didn't show for the rest. Is that because I haven't paid my 15.00 yet?

LOL, paranoia is now setting in.

Not sure where you found the colors, but try substituting "Red" or "Blue" etc for "rgb(65, 105, 225)" and that will fix it .

[markpierce]

Good handrails.

[goboatingnow]

I find it bizarre that on a boat the assumption is

(a) That the women cooks most of the time

(b) That she washes your clothes most of the time

I really must have a chat with SWMBO.

Dave

[tamicatana]

Boy, if anyone was wondering whether sailing was sexist just has to take a gander at this thread. Washing machine, really? That is so very condescending, I'm honestly shocked.

Never mind on the boat... on land, if my husband EVER gave me appliances as 'gifts,' I'd cut his nuts off. Slavery, at least in the US, ended in 1965.

goboatingnow, you're right ^ but a chat is certainly not in order. You have your stuff together, methinks

[Svdestiny]

Originally Posted by tamicatana

Boy, if anyone was wondering whether sailing was sexist just has to take a gander at this thread. Washing machine, really? That is so very condescending, I'm honestly shocked.

Never mind on the boat... on land, if my husband EVER gave me appliances as 'gifts,' I'd cut his nuts off. Slavery, at least in the US, ended in 1965.

Thank you!!!! I too was shocked, but not surprised sadly. Even things like " SWMBO" I find offensive, and that "admiral" crap, ugh. Its scary how things have deteriorated!

[MNLandLoc]

Originally Posted by Nikki S

Boys, if you did the washing we girls wouldn't even want washing machines- they would simply be an unnecessary boy toy..... Do you know what I'm sayin? A lady's needs are not really about mod-cons, they are about "understanding, listening, cooperation, team work, and communication (and also no verbal communication when the mood is right)

Huh? Sorry I had the radio turned-up so I couldn't understand this last post! Just kidding! You are right on. Very good advice in this thread.

Another idea for the OP: if they are really a "dear friend" invite them to spend some time on your boat and see how they like it. I have found that there is a strong correlation to camping and living on a boat.

[JPA Cate]

Again, speaking as a woman, if a man who is a keen sailor wants to introduce her to sailing in the hopes she will take it up, he should make it fun for her, first of all. Once she has learned enough to have opinions about things and understands the trade-offs, then he will be well advised to let her help make decisions about the boat if she is interested to do so.

The whole issue here involves us in a third to xth party gossip about what someone unknown to us might want. Please let's get this woman involved! He should be talking to her.

Maybe it was just boys playing the *Women, Who Knows What They Want* game.

Ann

[Nicholson58]

Originally Posted by Snore

Happy New Year Boatie... Surprised it took 14 posts for the first sarcasm...no one said bathing suit or a host of other ones. Some folks must have made a resolution to be PC.

Not me!

Cheers

I AGREE. Usually takes about 8 posts. How about shoes?

[Therapy]

Originally Posted by Seaworthy Lass

LOL, paranoia is now setting in.

Not sure where you found the colors, but try substituting "Red" or "Blue" etc for "rgb(65, 105, 225)" and that will fix it .

I just pick one from the list.

[Dulcesuenos]

Originally Posted by goboatingnow

I find it bizarre that on a boat the assumption is

(a) That the women cooks most of the time

(b) That she washes your clothes most of the time

I really must have a chat with SWMBO.

Dave

I was going to respond to this but was eating a wonderful ground sirloin burger w blue cheese and asparagus my wonderful wife cooked. She then did a load of clothes while we watched a movie.
She is perfectly fine doing laundry, cooking 80% of the time, dishes etc (pink jobs). Just as I dont mind cleaning the bottom, handling the heavy sails, fixing the engines, changing the oil,x2 etc etc all the blue (or really black/ oily) jobs.
What pisses her off is If I leave stuff laying around, and dont clean up after myself. I think this is how a large portion of couples are, but men joke more about it than women do, Were she a more a mechanic, I would have no problem doing more household chores

[S/V Alchemy]

Originally Posted by SVRapture40

The first and foremost need is that she *wants* to live on a boat (which you have stated that she does not). Living on a boat is not easy and if a person's heart is not in it to start, it will only go downhill from there. Start with some sailing weekends and see if she catches the bug.

You can pretty well end the thread here. If the man wants to sail, get divorced before you get the boat, otherwise the boat will be part of the settlement.

If this seems harsh, too bad. Rows of formerly married sailors at the bars of the world's boat clubs constitute the proof of my assertions. And yes, once in a very long while you'll find a female divorced skipper whose ex didn't want to step off the dock. Occasionally, these types find each other, and bliss ensues.

[S/V Alchemy]

I would add on the upside that the old question of "the division of labour" must be addressed on any boat that is going to leave a marina or anchorage to, you know, actually go places.

BOTH spouses must have, in my mind, roughly equivalent levels of seamanship. While these can be complementary, such as one is good with sail repair while the other is better with the diesel, whoever is on watch MUST be compentent enough to sail the boat in whatever conditions don't require all hands on deck (like past 30 knots or two reefs, YMMV) or at least preclude a restful sleep. While you can heave to (if your boat will heave to) to buy time or rest, the general idea is to keep going when possible on passage with good if not best speed.

So Ms. Reluctant Seawife is going to be spending a lot of 3 AMs alone, clipped into the cockpit. She'd best have a clew. I suggest club racing and delivery crewing...WITHOUT Skipper Kean in tow. If she is to come to a love for the sea, she must come on her own terms, with her own experiences and at her own speed.

Every time I've done a crewing delivery, my wife has done a different one. We've taken different courses on pilotage, radio and diesel. I have to have the confidence that she has seamanship that will allow me to sleep unmolested and untroubled, so that she can do the same when her dopey...if well-rested... husband is mistaking a granny for a reef knot on her off-watch.

With couples cruising, there can't be passengers. Both persons get to be skipper on their watch. And as for the washing-up and laundry...? Well, if the sails are set and the wind is steady and the seas aren't running too high and you only need to scan the horizon every few minutes or so, bring that bucket of soapy water up on deck and have at it! There's no "pink jobs" at sea in my view: if it falls outside of the aforementioned specialist tasks, then it can usually be done during the watch.

This is the course to steer for domestic harmony, I think: competence and equivalence.

[goboatingnow]

She'd best have a clew.

wow, do women come with a clew. what use is it for.

allow me to sleep unmolested and untroubled

I don't know about you but I like being molested by the wife!!


Seriusly , so few cruising couples , or even weekend couples, have similar levels of seamanship, if that was the case, there'd be almost no women sailing.

dave