Crew Available: Single 43yo female to crew

[weavis]

Originally Posted by boatman61

Learn how to vet people properly..
If in the slightest doubt don't get on the boat..
Ask for references/contact numbers of previous crew..
But when it comes right down to it the odds are the same for choosing a crazy skipper as they are for choosing a crazy boyfriend..
A Journalist in Sweden got on a boat last year and ended up beheaded and dumped at sea.. so as they say.. 'Aint no sure thing in life.. ya pays yer money and takes yer chances'..

We all have issues. Just some issues dont need to be added to our list....

[boatman61]

Originally Posted by weavis

We all have issues. Just some issues dont need to be added to our list....

She seems to not realise that a skipper may just see her.. or any unknown crew as a potential threat to his/her life..
There have been plenty of examples where crew have murdered boat owners.. the guy found tied to the mast on his upturned Tri off the Portuguese coast.. the couple were later caught using his cards..
Then there's the guy in Panama who would get a place as crew on a couples boats.. by the time he was caught he'd stashed 3 boats in Ecuador and was on his way there with the fourth.. no bodies were ever recovered.
I'd be wary as hell of anyone with this ladies attitude.

[boatman61]

Originally Posted by weavis

We all have issues. Just some issues dont need to be added to our list....

Anyone else notice an echo in here..???

[belizesailor]

Originally Posted by weavis

...

I personally, made the decision years ago, to NEVER be in the position where aboard a vessel with a lone female to ever make her feel uncomfortable in any way or leave myself open to suggestions of improper conduct. Hence I do not take solo female crew if there is only me on board.

....

Ive sailed w solo female crew many times, but they were always other captains/crew/friends who I knew, so no big deal. Never with an unknown quantity. I dont like taking on unknown crew, regarless of gender, anyway.

However, I had a situation develop recently which made me a bit uncomfortable. I asked a contractor from the yard, who I also consider a friend, if he knew someone who could help with cleaning up the interior of the boat after some glass work was completed. He said sure, his wife wants to start doing that. I know him and his wife so I was OK with that, as were they. On the appointed day, he shows up with a young girl from town who I did not know and drops her off. I suddenly find myself working below decks alone with a young woman I dont know. Old Gringo + young Latina in private...it dawned on me that if she claimed some form of misconduct then I had no way to disprove her claim. She could rip her clothes run up on deck, scream rape...and I got no way to refute her claim...extortion/retribution could likely follow. That made me uncomfortable so I left the boat for a bit and then found other work topsides to do. I did need to pop below to help her a few times, everything went smoothly and my paranoid thoughts never manifest themselves, but it did make me uncomfortable and I will be more concious of this sort of situation in the future.

[Auspicious]

Originally Posted by weavis

Its not a rule, its a personal decision. In your circumstance, you had no options open. That happens too.

I agree. I did not intend to suggest you were proposing a universal rule. I think I interpreted your statement as you intended - a personal decision (i.e. a "rule" that applies to you). I was exploring a different scenario that leads to different decisions.

Originally Posted by boatman61

Learn how to vet people properly.

This turns out to be more challenging that you might think. I believe I'm pretty good at it but I still get let down sometimes. My biggest problem is no shows, perhaps 3-5% of crew. That's why I have back-ups. *grin*

[30yearslater]

If you are interested in some Lake Ontario exploring I usually make a few trips a year. Toronto, Cobourg, and this year the East end. I have several female crew who I met through Meetup and are now saavy sailors and friends. I'm personally married for 32 years but the Mrs. has MS and can't sail with me. To that end I have welcomed males and females to share my passion with no interest in more. I'm monogamous as much for my own moral satisfaction as well as my wife's. To that end I am very protective of the females who sail with me and have a standing policy of no advances or inquiries of a romantic nature while aboard. There have been a few fellows who tested me and were invited to never come back. I won't trade worry about the .5% who might be problematic at the expense of the dozens who have come to share my enjoyment of sailing.

[boatman61]

Originally Posted by Auspicious

This turns out to be more challenging that you might think. I believe I'm pretty good at it but I still get let down sometimes. My biggest problem is no shows, perhaps 3-5% of crew. That's why I have back-ups. *grin*

Chickens are harder to spot than Psycho's..

[Arlee2.0]

Well that had the potential to turn ugly....I'm appreciative of those who pulled it back to safer waters. ;-)

Yes, there is the potential of danger for both sides when spending time at sea with unknown persons. Yes, there are a number of ways for each scenario to be handled and provided it works for the person(s) IN the situation, no one else has a contrary leg to stand on. We all come from different backgrounds, have different risk tolerances, and handle difficult situations differently.

As for myself, I am not content to wait for a female/couples only boat, nor do I think that necessarily equates to a "safe environment" (not just speaking about sexual harassment issues but general toxicity). I prefer to see humans as humans, do whatever due diligence I know how to do, and then trust my gut. Sure, it's not fool proof. But neither is any other scenario that involves human beings.

At the end of the day, this experience with the Lingerie Capt caused me no harm and served to adjust my profile to read as it currently does. The 2 capt's I've sailed with since have been awesome people (stayed with one and his wife after the trip for a few days and they're kind of like extended family now) and both said that had I NOT been as explicit as I am regarding my intentions (sail ONLY), they would have passed on selecting me. So guess what? Ultimately, I'm grateful to the jerk! He can go on his merry way selecting "crew" who want to wear thigh highs and serve him cocktails, and I can go on my merry way with capts who see me as a SAILOR. Kind of a win-win

Now, since this *old* thread is getting much more attention than the one I posted a few days ago.... Kindly allow me to redirect everyone's attention. ;-) I'm in process of confirming a hop from Puerto Vallarta to the Marquesas in April for myself and my boyfriend. We will have spent about 6 weeks backpacking Mexico and Belize. Supposing that comes through, I will be looking for boats leaving the Marquesas sometime May/June-ish heading west (NZ/AUS ultimately, but some more islands tossed in would be great, too!) needing 2 crew. My sailing resume is in my profile and we will just have racked up 2800 blue water nm. Any insight/networking that folks have to offer will be much appreciated!

[belizesailor]

Originally Posted by Auspicious

...



This turns out to be more challenging that you might think. I believe I'm pretty good at it but I still get let down sometimes. My biggest problem is no shows, perhaps 3-5% of crew. That's why I have back-ups. *grin*

Agree, vetting is rarely easy. This is one reason I avoid taking on unknown crew. Fortunately, Ive got lots of former sailing students and friends just chomping at the bit to go sailng. Just signed up known good crew for a run N from the San Blas in May...took all of 15 minutes on WhatsApp.

Ive got a lot of experience vetting new hires, more so than crew. The biggest positive point in their favor for me is a recommendation from a know good quantity in their field. Good people refer good people. Tell me that some known bozo refered you and its gonna be a short conversation. Feel the same about crew.

Unknown references are almost useless. Ive had people fake them, to the point of having somone else pretend to be the listed reference on the phone....so really you also need to vet references.

Even had someone fake a phone interview once by getting someone to stand in for them. The person who showed up for the face to face interview was painfully obviously not the same person. The fake phone interview went really well, the face to face...not so good.

[Auspicious]

Originally Posted by Arlee2.0

Supposing that comes through, I will be looking for boats leaving the Marquesas sometime May/June-ish heading west (NZ/AUS ultimately, but some more islands tossed in would be great, too!) needing 2 crew.

Try the Pacific Puddlejump group.

Originally Posted by Arlee2.0

My sailing resume is in my profile and we will just have racked up 2800 blue water nm. Any insight/networking that folks have to offer will be much appreciated!

In the spirit of such insight, I find status not yet earned like "soon to be PADA certified" off putting to the point of a red flag. By way of example I'd rather hear about first aid and first responder training than that someone is "almost EMT certified." "Accomplished cook with some experience on the line" is more interesting than "planning to apply to cooking school in the Fall." What you have done and accomplished is more valuable than plans and dreams.

Tell me about plans and dreams after you are selected. If someone wants to talk about electronic navigation I'll send you a link to the manual for the chartplotter on board and we'll spend time during a trip talking about passage planning and tactical navigation. Weather? You'll get all my regular pre-trip weather briefs and on board we'll go over synoptic charts from weather fax so you'll come off understanding the development of weather systems and how they drive decision-making on board.

Best of luck in the Pacific. I hope you have a great trip.

[Arlee2.0]

Originally Posted by Auspicious

Try the Pacific Puddlejump group.

Hhhm, I searched the site and the Community section but didn't find such a group (joined the only group remotely related to South Pacific though). Happen to have a link?

Originally Posted by Auspicious

In the spirit of such insight, I find status not yet earned like "soon to be PADA certified" off putting to the point of a red flag.

Best of luck in the Pacific. I hope you have a great trip

Appreciate the perspective and thank you!

[boatman61]

Originally Posted by Arlee2.0

Hhhm, I searched the site and the Community section but didn't find such a group (joined the only group remotely related to South Pacific though). Happen to have a link?

Pacific Puddle Jump Official Web Site

[Arlee2.0]

Thank you!! ;-)

[Auspicious]

@boatman61 got it in one!

On the left side of the website is a link to the Yahoo email group. Good stuff there.

[kmacdonald]

When looking for unpaid crew for pleasure cruising one looks for people that enjoy ALL that life has to offer and approach life with an open mind. People with chips on their shoulder get left behind.