There are a couple of other options, albeit they're not good solutions for high winds. In terms of taming the main under such circumstances, there are no free lunches. Albeit, some of dealing with the main, is simply a matter of technique. Because, while it's neither fun, nor easy; done right, one can handle the main on a mid-sized/big boat, which has a bolt rope
luff & no lazy jacks, solo.
BTW, what are the issues which you have against lazy jacks? As, properly executed, their only real down side is that you have to plan a solution for getting them out of the way, when it's time to switch from the Main to a Trysail.
As proven by tens of thousands of boats out there sailing now. Including those which circle the globe with but one person aboard. That routinely turn in 300nm+ runs per day.
Though, that said, it's easy enough to design lazy jacks which can be detached from things, so that they're not in the way of hoisting a Trysail.
Anyway, as to other ideas: You can go with any of these, some of them even being paired together if you so choose (or even paired with lazy jacks, or other mainsail
- A Park Avenue style boom. One which has "wings" which are exaggerated in width, & that are angled more vertically than is the norm. So that they catch/capture the sail.
- Boom "wings", made from tubing. Typically aluminum
. Which look like handrails, that have over-length "legs". And that run the length of the boom; again, angled upwards, in order to cradle
- Attach fiberglass
wands to your boom, on both sides. With them being angled upwards, so as to cradle
Though, to my thinking, none of these will control any significant amount of sail area, in high winds, when used without lazy jacks. But they can be a huge aid to the efficacy of lazy jacks, when properly designed.
Also, all of them, but for the Park Avenue setup, can be added to your boat/boom, whenever you like. And don't require buying
Nor for that matter, do lazy jacks, in the vast majority of their forms. Though some of them are semi-integral to certain sail cover
designs. Which, actually,seem to be great sail control & stowage solutions... but for the Trysail part of the equation, again. If, in fact, you plan to have one onboard/plan to use one.
Why, BTW, do you convey the idea that one must buy a new sail in order to fit lazy jacks? As, if your basing your thinking on this premise, it is incorrect. Ergo, is creating a problem where there is none.
Also, you'd likely be much wiser to include your wife in these discussions/decisions. Including having her searching for answers/educating herself on this topic (& others of boathandling, period).
For I wouldn't want to sail on a boat with a partner who wasn't able to handle all, or 90% of the tasks onboard. As such is a safety
issue, as much as anything else. Even if it means adding more powered systems, like winches & windlasses. Or 2:1 halyards, etc.
And a good bit of this is covered on both Beth Leonard/Evans Starzinger's site www.bethandevans.com
as well as Steve & Linda Dashew's site www.setsail.com
Which, at the latter (site), you can download their Excellent books
for free. And therein, are lots of relavent info & ideas on the topic.