SSSSM - Part Deux

[carstenb]

Something to think about - you know the women could also "take more control" than they frequently do. Lots of women will automatically defer when a man is around - that's not good.

There is something called a "chronic underachiever". Many women fall into that category. It means they will almost always take jobs that they are horribly overqualified for - just so they can do it 110% and no will ever be able to accuse them of making a mistake.

But I agree -lots of men have difficulty with a capable woman. I don't - maybe because I'm basically lazy and if she wants to do it - well go for it girl!

[Richard5]

No one wants to be dismissed, more so when it is a woman dismissing a man.

As Carsten stated no anchor around his feet, a weak women needs to be coddled. It is distracting and actually quite annoying. She is not much more than wall dressing. What does that say of the man who brings the likes of her only that he too is weak of spirit and prefers to keep his lower rung in life but needs to feel the hero to someone.

Men and women do not think alike and that is fine. Heck, it is more than fine. But she, like him, should be able to think, grasp concepts, communicate in a relatable way...in other words, be engaging. And yes, she should be able to sheet in, etc.

[Nia]

Originally Posted by carstenb

Hi Zeehag,

I'll chip in my cent and a half (male don't have 2 cents!). I've always liked women who are independent and capable of taking care of themselves. For lots of reasons
1- Its great to have some qualified "opposition". Keeps me intellectually on my toes and sometimes convinces me I'm wrong
2- Equal partners play better together
3- I don't want an anchor around my feet
4- I love adventure and all that goes with it. Only an independent woman will sign up for that.
5- Relationships are supposed to be about supporting each other.

I'm not sure if I answered your question - but why would anyone (man or woman) want a partner that doesn't stand on their own feet?

Ahhhh Nia - young and nimble bartenders (don't blush) great to find - even in a desert

I love the sentiments and agree with you. Just haven't found it to be true in too many relationships around here yet. Must be because I am surrounded by farmers and their wives.


Carsten, I like my men with some substance to them. That usually takes a bit of aging and experience, kinda like a fine wine or a 12 yr old scotch. This bartender hasn't aged enough yet to be worth the trouble of finding out how nimble he is.

[Richard5]

Nia, it occurs to me that you are trying to make this guy into something he is not quite familiar being. Being of the Palouse, perhaps he is better suited to be your machinst mate. That is, rather than fighting for the same piece of cheese give him something to do which doesn't directly involve you. Maybe design a bowsprit or something. A division of duties as it were.

[Nia]

A skipper I know is heading to the Caribbean soon. He is taking three women with him. One woman is adventurous and loves to sail. The other two are beautiful and usually immaculately dressed. There are a number of capable sailors he could take with him, but this is what he chose. Some guys like having deck candy on board.

[Richard5]

Are the lassies supercargo or other? How did you determine they are merely deck candy?

Perhaps your friend has a plot to finance his trip.

[Nia]

Originally Posted by Richard5

Nia, it occurs to me that you are trying to make this guy into something he is not quite familiar being. Being of the Palouse, perhaps he is better suited to be your machinst mate. That is, rather than fighting for the same piece of cheese give him something to do which doesn't directly involve you. Maybe design a bowsprit or something. A division of duties as it were.

Not quite. I directed him to the club website. If he wants to sail, he'll show up. If not, I'm still looking for crew. Carsten is trying to live vicariously through my "dating", only to find it ain't happening. LOL

[Nia]

Originally Posted by Richard5

Are the lassies supercargo or other? How did you determine they are merely deck candy?

Perhaps your friend has a plot to finance his trip.

Oh I know Richard... I am one of the women.

[carstenb]

Ahh - so you are the deck candy? From your pics you are beautiful and dressed immaculately. Who's the adventurous one who loves to sail?

[Nia]

ROFLMFAO

You haven't seen the deck candy.

[SaltyMonkey]

Deck Candy:

[carstenb]

Aguy I know saled around the world a few years back, changing crew along the way. At one point he had an all woman crew (5 young lassies). He told me that he could here the sighs from the other boats when he pulled up in an anchorage.

Deck candy is nice - gives you something to rest your eyes on. Comes a storm, I'll take a woman who can grab a tether, crawl up on the foredeck and change sails. If she also happens to be deck candy - well who's to argue that?

How about you gals - don't you want a little deck candy? - you know younger muscular guys with a six-pack of muscles on the stomach, hairy chest etc etc?

[SaltyMonkey]

Deck candy for saltymonkey is an electronic winch.

[goldiphlox]

I'm kind of shy as the girls here will tell you, but I'm not afraid to admit that I'd like a nice hunk of male deck candy!

Just one thing....or two....

Must know how to sail
Must know how to fix motor
Must cook
Must not be afraid to clean the head
Must be able to rock a speedo......okay , truth....i don't really like speedos

[Nia]

Originally Posted by carstenb

Something to think about - you know the women could also "take more control" than they frequently do. Lots of women will automatically defer when a man is around - that's not good.

There is something to be said about recognizing strengths and weaknesses, whether it be between the sexes or indiviiduals. I am quite capable of taking charge (I used to run male inmate crews), however if the person I am with is better at whatever it is, then I will defer to their judgement. They may be better at one thing, I'll be better at something else.