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Old 21-09-2012, 05:32   #16
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Location: Maryland, USA
Boat: 58' Sedan Bridge
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Re: Family aboard: Personal space and avoiding conflict

Originally Posted by Steve Richards View Post
Again for the most part my family get along, it's just that there is one person who has a habit of being the center of all confrontations, and another who when upset can't seem to let it go and always wants to drag everyone down with them when they feel wronged.

I never feel obligated to invite "difficult" people aboard, relatives or not.

And if asked, I'm happy to explain why they're never invited. Feedback is often a useful tool... but in general, I'm not particularly concerned about the outcome, either.

Chesapeake Bay, USA.
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Old 21-09-2012, 08:25   #17
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Re: Family aboard: Personal space and avoiding conflict

We did have to deal with extended visits from close, but very difficult family on a 35'. It's hard being in close spaces 24/7. A few thoughts based on our experience:

- Don't mention the hotel - our family thought that we just wanted to get rid of them. Yes, we mentioned it very nicely.
- Make sure your daily schedules are complimentary.
- One way to attain privacy is that a person/people sitting at the bow are off limits to everyone else.
- Another is to plan your route with stops where a dinghy excursion or a hike is warranted. Find a pretty anchoring/mooring spot. Give people a choice of coming with you on the excursion or swimming/relaxing on the boat - worked very well for us.
- Don't try to be too assertive of a captain so that people do not feel that they're being pushed.

Just bear it through difficult situations. It'll pass. Good luck.
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Old 21-09-2012, 08:59   #18
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Re: Family aboard: Personal space and avoiding conflict

* No politics or religion.
* Regarding boat and crew safety and security, "provide your input, but what the skipper says goes". (ie: we are in town and were going to hang around for the "blah blah" event, but the wind has piped up and changed direction, we need to go back to the boat.)
* If you feel uneasy about having particular guests, better pass or go for a daysail with them first.
* Before they come, set the expectation low: " it's not like being in a house, short showers, etc are the norm."
* Give them a list of what to bring, including no hard luggage.
When we had a small boat, I usually gave the guests the master cabin for their enjoyment and privacy (if they were a couple)
"I spent most of my money on Booze, Broads and Boats. The rest I wasted" - Elmore Leonard

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