Covid Humor

[owly]

Covid is no laughing matter. I've lost 4 friends so far from Covid.



I posted this account back in March on another forum as a bit of humor. Some members I'm sure are on that forum also.......... Enjoy.... Laughter they say is the best medicine!



I got my covid vaccination today.........the first one. It was probably the easiest vaccination I've ever had. I had flu and tetanus both a few months back........ they don't bother me. The nurse commented that she could still see the scar from the Smallpox vaccine I had 55 years ago!! Some of my friends warned me about the dangers of getting this vaccine....... of course fed by social media BS (Facebook BS).

I wrote this brief bit of humor about the experience...... I eliminated the place names for obvious reasons. It's an entirely fictitious account:


I just got my first vaccination. I'm not on Facebook, and I'd appreciate it if you would circulate this for me........ NOBODY should ever have to go through this.

HW


Dear Facebook Friends:

I got my first Covid shot today at the B___T___ Civic Center.......... Frankly I was terrified! The help helicopter was idling in the parking lot of the IGA across the street waiting to medivac casualties. When I walked in, I was unceremoniously hustled to a table where two burly men held me firmly down as a big nurse with the largest syringe I've ever seen was chuckling evilly as she filled her syringe. The needle looked like a drinking straw.... gazing across the floor of the civic center briefly because I could not bear to watch, I saw paramedics treating a woman who was having convulsions. Another man was getting a epinephrine shot.... his arm swollen to triple it's normal size.... another patient lay twitching feebly on the floor with someone standing over him yelling for a paramedic. The place reeked of piss and poop from terrified people. As I returned my gaze to the to the nurse she asked which shoulder......... I said left, and she plunged the huge needle in....... OH MY GOD..... It was like liquid fire in my veins. Beads of sweat stood out on my forehead as I clamped my teeth shut and tried not to scream. I'm not ashamed to say I pissed myself. A red fog descended over my vision, and then everything went black... It must have been just moments. The nurse was holding smelling salts under my nose and slapping my face to bring me out of it..... "can you walk?".......... "I think so"..... With help I staggered over to a chair to wait the required 15 minutes. I was one of the lucky ones........As I left I saw men zipping someone into a body bag, and heard the roar of the help helicopter hauling the lady who had gone into convulsions to B_____ for further treatment.... as another touched down to await the next casualty. The scene was unimaginable........... a veritable hellscape. I dread to think that I will have to go back for yet another shot. Could the disease possibly be any worse than the cure?


HW

[Chotu]

Here’s a short video I took of a trip me and a few friends made down to the local vaccination clinic.

Just a few cosmetic side effects. No big deal. The people were really empathetic and had the utmost respect for the vaccine hesitant.

http://youtu.be/erK8YLPyERQ?t=40

*i have no idea how to get the YouTube preview window to load on the forum so you’ll have to click the link for the laughs. It begins the very first second of the video.

[grantmc]

Very decent of you to post the account of your vaccination Owly. Sounded horrible. I'd heard stories a little like this before, but yours is truly chilling. I guess at least you only pissed yourself rather than the other. Certainly puts me off getting the jab.

Here in New Zealand vaccination is not compulsory, everyone has a choice. But the laws are being written that will require all unvaccinated to wear special arm bands and big red crosses/notices displayed at their houses. Last Friday a law came in to being that forbids them to work. It has been illegal for some weeks now for them to visit any public facilities such as schools, churches, swimming polls, marinas (yes even if they live there), theatres etc. Nor will they qualify for any social security from 1 January when it also becomes illegal for vaccinated and nonvaccinated to be within 2 metres of each other. Big fines for first offense and prison for second and subsequent for both people. The only exceptions are for children under 5. The Govt have also announced an urgent investigation into bringing back quarantine camps on outlying islands where the unvaccinated will all be contained until the pandemic is over. The quarantine prisons (they call them MIQ centres) are full to bulging and every few days some desperate prisoner escapes. The children under 5 will stay on the mainland in facilities like the USA used recently for illegal immigrants' children. Hoping they'll learn the lessons of that disaster here and say tattoo a number or something on the kids so they don't lose track of their identities. Probably easier and more humane though to just adopt them all out. Something I find a bit over the top is that pregnant women refusing vaccination must have compulsory terminations or C sections depending on the age of the fetus.

But there's always a silver cloud. There has developed a black market where you can pay homeless people to get the vaccination for you. Obviously you need to find someone of a similar height, build and who looks vaguely like you in a drivers licence photo, but that doesn't take too long for most people. But the suitable derelicts I found all wanted at least $200 and an upsized McDonalds combo. I suspect that the body bags to which you refer might well be such homeless people after selling themselves for vaccine money several times.

These certainly are strange and difficult times we live in.

[jeanathon]

What do you get when two people with the virus make a video?
CoVid.

[jeanathon]

Borrowed from the joke thread.

[jeanathon]

Not wanting to be outdone by Pfizer, AstraZeneca has announced they will give you a free tombstone after your 8th booster.

[S/V Illusion]

Originally Posted by grantmc

. The children under 5 will stay on the mainland in facilities like the USA used recently for illegal immigrants' children. n.

We still have them. The only thing which has changed is now the doors and locks have been removed and free once-way bus tickets to multiple cities are given away.

[lonesoldier0408]

Where as congested areas of population cause super spreader events, depopulation of the city centers and then concentric rings of depopulation at -5 mile intervals, will be initiated. The science shows, with a planetary human population of zero, we will eradicate all assaults on the human condition.

[GordMay]

Meet ‘The Maskalorian.’ ~ by Hannah Sampson, for the Washington Post
A man in a ‘Star Wars’ costume gives free masks to travelers.
This is the way a Mandalorian doppelganger encourages strangers to mask up
Free ➥ https://www.washingtonpost.com/trave...asks-new-york/