AUS: Heterosexual rape and abuse alleged with Crewbay and Find-a-Crew

[Alan Mighty]

https://www.theguardian.com/society/...hey-met-online

"More than a dozen women say they have had negative – sometimes terrifying – experiences after meeting skippers through popular sailing websites such as Crewbay. Their claims include sexual assault and harassment, while others were made to feel unsafe.

"All of the women had been offered what they thought was the opportunity of a lifetime: cheap accommodation and international travel in exchange for volunteer work on sailing vessels. Instead, some say they found themselves in a nightmare situation alongside volatile or predatory skippers on the high seas, with nowhere to escape."

[Fore and Aft]

Alan Mighty I am not surprised this happens. A friend of mine became a player on the internet dating sites trying to mend a broken heart after a bad divorce. He said to me forget stranger danger, woman were more than happy to go to his house to party even though they had no idea who he was. Having never dated since the internet it's hard to get my head around the trust some people have from just electronic communication.
I have definitely met some skippers I would not want my daughter to sail with. Their predator vibe they give of in person is way harder to hide. The worst skippers pull out a conquest album and you can't help but feel it's so creepy and surely not all of these women were willing participants.
When you think about it a yacht is the perfect way to commit a sexual crime and then sail to another country and repeat the pattern all over again. New port, new crowd of friends and no one the wiser to your past.

Cheers

[StuM]

Young inexperienced females answer internet ads, fly to a foreign country and get on boats for long voyages with a skipper they don't know.



And this is surprising ? Why?

[Jamme]

Stu, I don’t believe the post is made to spike surprise or interest. I am sure we all agree it is disgusting to take advantage of another human being — alas it happens all day every day. This is a good cautionary tale for many.

[tkeithlu]

Thank you, Jamme. Good post.

[davil]

Originally Posted by tkeithlu

Thank you, Jamme. Good post.

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thank you

Blaming the victim is entrenched in our culture.

I cannot offer a solution to a real, major problem.

On all the precautions advised to take, a record of previous crew experiences could help.?

This site actually does offer a glimpse on any poster by examining very carefully all postings, people actually reveal more of themselves when not aware they are doing it.

[Sailor Sailor]

That is not the least bit surprising. I would suggest there is a higher prevalence of Antisocial Personality Disorder among those posting such ads than among the general population. (More men than women have ASPD by a ratio of 3 to 1.) I would also suggest there is a higher prevalence of some of the defining characteristics among a segment of cruisers than among the general population, and that those personality characteristics are tolerated or even encouraged by the community of boaters.

The DSM-5 diagnostic criteria for Antisocial Personality Disorder:

A pervasive pattern of disregard for and violation of the rights of others, since age 15 years, as indicated by three (or more) of the following:

1. Failure to conform to social norms concerning lawful behaviors, such as performing acts that are grounds for arrest.
2. Deceitfulness, repeated lying, use of aliases, or conning others for pleasure or personal profit.
3. Impulsivity or failure to plan.
4. Irritability and aggressiveness, often with physical fights or assaults.
5. Reckless disregard for the safety of self or others.
6. Consistent irresponsibility, failure to sustain consistent work behavior, or honor monetary obligations.
7. Lack of remorse, being indifferent to or rationalizing having hurt, mistreated, or stolen from another person.

The best characteristics of human nature arise out of responsibility, commitment, dedication, and service to others. Those characteristics are based on character, integrity, and values. That is not what is generally promoted on sailing and boating listservs, which is adventure, hedonism, leisure, and escapism, however one can obtain it.

[John_Trusty]

Difficult topic, and I am glad that an international news outlet highlighted it, as a warning if nothing else. I do not know if this article is 'victim blaming' as much as heightening awareness to not expose yourself or those you know to a high-risk situation such as getting on a small boat for extended times with someone you do not know at all.

This could be expanded to awareness on both sides. I have never taken on short-term volunteer crew I did not know, but am now in a position to for long passages. It would be convenient to have an extra watch stander, but I have read many horror stories on this site: drunks, inexperienced, thieves, etc.

[davil]

Originally Posted by Sailor Sailor

That is not the least bit surprising. I would suggest there is a higher prevalence of Antisocial Personality Disorder among those posting such ads than among the general population. (More men than women have ASPD by a ratio of 3 to 1.) I would also suggest there is a higher prevalence of some of the defining characteristics among a segment of cruisers than among the general population, and that those personality characteristics are tolerated or even encouraged by the community of boaters.

The DSM-5 diagnostic criteria for Antisocial Personality Disorder:

A pervasive pattern of disregard for and violation of the rights of others, since age 15 years, as indicated by three (or more) of the following:

1. Failure to conform to social norms concerning lawful behaviors, such as performing acts that are grounds for arrest.
2. Deceitfulness, repeated lying, use of aliases, or conning others for pleasure or personal profit.
3. Impulsivity or failure to plan.
4. Irritability and aggressiveness, often with physical fights or assaults.
5. Reckless disregard for the safety of self or others.
6. Consistent irresponsibility, failure to sustain consistent work behavior, or honor monetary obligations.
7. Lack of remorse, being indifferent to or rationalizing having hurt, mistreated, or stolen from another person.

The best characteristics of human nature arise out of responsibility, commitment, dedication, and service to others. Those characteristics are based on character, integrity, and values. That is not what is generally promoted on sailing and boating listservs, which is adventure, hedonism, leisure, and escapism, however one can obtain it.

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I disagree


" I would also suggest there is a higher prevalence of some of the defining characteristics among a segment of cruisers than among the general population, and that those personality characteristics are tolerated or even encouraged by the community of boaters."
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The cruising/sailing community is just a representation of society in general with all facets of human markers.
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"The DSM-5 diagnostic criteria for Antisocial Personality Disorder:"
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We have found in practice calling criminals mentally ill is a disservice to those suffering mental illness and a way to escape personal and legal consequences.

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"The best characteristics of human nature arise out of responsibility, commitment, dedication, and service to others. Those characteristics are based on character, integrity, and values."
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YES

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"That is not what is generally promoted on sailing and boating listservs, which is adventure, hedonism, leisure, and escapism, however one can obtain it."
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yes on commercial magazines and adds.

Not in sites like this

[davil]

There are female members, interested on their comments

[Muaddib1116]

Originally Posted by davil

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The cruising/sailing community is just a representation of society in general with all facets of human markers.
==============================================

While there are cruisers/sailors of all types, it is a pretty specialized/unusual lifestyle, and I think it is unlikely that the distribution of personality types is perfectly inline with society at large.

[davil]

good point

[chrisr]

terribly sorry for any folk of either gender that get themselves into trouble this way

however it's not too far away from the gullible folk who fall for all the other internet scams out there

we blame the victims in these cases (for being often just plain dumb) and everyone needs to take responsibility to use their common sense to look after themselves

cheers,

[davil]

yes, agree with everybody needs to be responsible for their behavior.
I do not disagree with your posting

Something to remember is being gullible and dumb as they may be (already have dismissed the "mentally ill defense"), they are not criminals.

Sexual predators and assaulting behavior are, punishable by law.

Just saying

[Captain Bill]

Why is this discussion limited to sexual abuse of women. The same thing could happen to men. The same could also apply to crew engaged by a captain. Being at sea in a boat is nowhere to find out that a person you are sharing the boat with is a total wacko. Whether you are crew getting on a boat or a captain bringing on strange crew one best be advised to be extremely careful.