Dating for cruising singles?

[JPA Cate]

Originally Posted by LuvSun

Im a 40 something male, fit, attractive and love the ocean, in it and on it.

Im a NZ and Aus resident and sale mostly NZ and the pacific Islands. (I love NZ summers but escape the winter and head north)

Am I destined to be single forever given my love for the ocean leaves me out of the social loop for meeting a beautiful mermaid to spend my life on the ocean with?

It really is a Niche market.

Has anybody been in this situation, male or female?

Hello, LuvSun,

It is interesting that you also want to have a family. Yes, the others are right, it will require meeting a very special young woman, and one who is willing to face the difficulties that aging will bring, when she is 20 yrs. younger than you. Any woman worth her salt will have serious concerns, she will be a realist, and not be into illusions. The concept of "a few years sailing together, then children," seems to work best with the under 30 cruising group. They are more carefree, mostly, and don't fear the 18 yr. or so commitment to raising children. You're looking for someone young enough to share at least one pregnancy and child with you.

I agree that your best hope is to try and find someone you click with who already has the hobby of sailing, a practical, good sense of humor, down to earth outdoorsy lady. This has worked for some guys i know.

You really need to think through exactly what you want in a woman, 'cause if you want someone with "staying power" in a relationship, you have to figure out how you'll tell she is likely to have it, or not. Once you're clear about both of those factors, your choices may become clearer: what you want, and how you'll tell it. It is harder than buying a boat! No joke. You might consider giving up the Scandinavian blonde for an Asian woman.

Do not think the women members of CF are not reading this thread, of course they are. What and how you post will affect how that group will think about you.

There is a group on CF, Single Sailors Seeking Soul Mates. If you're interested, do a CF Custom Google Search on that, and you'll find them.

JPA Cate

[LuvSun]

Originally Posted by JPA Cate

Hello, LuvSun,

Do not think the women members of CF are not reading this thread, of course they are. What and how you post will affect how that group will think about you.

JPA Cate

Im hoping they are, I need their help. I dont think Im coming across badly, Im just being honest.

To be honest children is less essential than the right woman.

I was thinking about 34-35yo, about 8 years younger. Hopefully thats not too big an age gap.

Id like to think she has a career, has ambitions, is strong minded but loving and able to find win wins without compromising, definitely somebody healthy and fit, somebody who will support my dreams and somebody I can help support and promote theirs. Somebody who LAUGHS and is chilled out. Somebody adventurous, thats a must. And hopefully somebody who likes fish and crayfish etc and even better if they can freedive and scuba. :-). Not looking for too much haha

[alaskaflyfish]

Originally Posted by LuvSun

Hehe, to be honest after all thats happened, I dont actually think hes done anything really BAD yet, I think the world could escape unscathed. Too funny though people really thinking he could talk another country into financing a wall for him.

I like US women from places like Montana and Colorado. I find some real down to earth sorts in the more country like areas close tot he rockies and hunting areas.

I cant speak concerning a blanket statement about gender or location, however I can tell you that there are two types in general. 1) females who hate men, and 2) females who don't hate men. The first group are regressive and corrosive. The second group are very selective. Work on your personal attributes and you will find better companionship. As far as Americana females, I can only speak for Alaska. Up here is the worst of the worst. Feminists with three chins and a set of bingo wings, very unattractive.

[LuvSun]

Im currently running a Lagoon 410, but Id like to upgrade to an 1106 for a bit more speed. The Lagoon is ok, its not the slowest cat, but it is still very much an Apartment on water :-)

[LuvSun]

Originally Posted by alaskaflyfish

1) females who hate men, and 2) females who don't hate men.

Ive found that more so in the corporate world, women trying to prove something, when Im completely open to equality in the first place.

I definitely want the second sort, ive found in the corporate world they also get further as they can relate to men better and if they find chauvinistic men they just move on, which is what you should do with anybody that has a problem, its there problem.

My aussie girlfriend I found at work, that is the main reason we broke up, never will I do that again. But she is still my friend. She is an awesome person.

[alaskaflyfish]

My only advice is: being with the wrong person is FAR FAR worse than being single. Also, psyche plays a part. Men tend to "bond" with their partner, the other gender-not so much.

[LuvSun]

Oh I know thats for sure. Im fine being single. Hence ive been patient.

I need someone thats a bit of a tom boy at heart I guess, feminine but not afraid to get fish blood on them, or try surfing with me, or teach them to dive etc. I think guys Bond really well with women like this, its almost like a friend and lover cliche.

[Raggedy Man]

I think we are all missing a point here. At my age the testosterone isn't pumping like it use to and I quite drinking 20 years ago, I am divorced twice with three grown sons. I am busy every day. I live in a great 100 year old house with a terrific work shop. Being alone is not lonely its a JOY !!

[LuvSun]

I think freedom is a joy.

But a good relationship you are free. You are just physically and mentally committed to one person.

As soon as I get the "you cant do that" type demands, thats when I know its not for me. Id say most of ex's havnt been like that. But they exist both male and female imo.

[alaskaflyfish]

The other issue you are facing is by the time a female is in her 30's she may have a tremendous amount of bad baggage attached to her. Personal debt is only one vector (especially student loans) or children from other relationships. Try being baby daddy number 4. Ask for a list of her sexual partners if you can handle that reality. Single and being "Just Friends" is much better than being the next meal ticket for somebody who is desperate and out of options.

[LuvSun]

Haha, yeah Ive asked that question before, its varied between 5 and 40. It doesnt bother me as long as they have a test sheet for me to see as I have mine.

Yep not looking for a ready made family unless its a single toddler age that I can teach all the cool things I learnt from my uncles. To me it doesnt matter about whose blood a child is, all children deserve love and single parent women get used which is not nice. But at same time, Im not looking for a tribe :-).

Definitely no major debt or drug habbits. Will be vetted thoroughly.

Thanks, I know some might think you are being negative, but these are things you do need to consider.

[alaskaflyfish]

Originally Posted by LuvSun

Haha, yeah Ive asked that question before, its varied between 5 and 40. It doesnt bother me as long as they have a test sheet for me to see as I have mine.

Yep not looking for a ready made family unless its a single toddler age that I can teach all the cool things I learnt from my uncles. To me it doesnt matter about whose blood a child is, all children deserve love and single parent women get used which is not nice. But at same time, Im not looking for a tribe :-).

Definitely no major debt or drug habbits. Will be vetted thoroughly.

Thanks, I know some might think you are being negative, but these are things you do need to consider.

The problem is not the children, they're cool. Its the other parents that you will deal with. When a woman's partners number around the century mark, you will run into people who have had her before and want to talk about it. It would bother me despite the test results. The higher the number the lower the character. Think about it.

[gamayun]

Yeah, yeah, Ann, I am reading this in a semi bemused way, but already finding it too tedious to invest any time in it after we beat this dead horse to death already in that "hullvenus" thread. Don't take offense at that, Luvsun, cause it ain't directed at you. Here's my advice: do some soul searching to know what failed in the past, make sure you really know what you're looking for in a mate, then be open and honest when you present yourself to a date, and don't generalize a whole gender or nationality. You're too young to be that jaded yet. Good luck!

[gbmacca]

You poor bugger. 40 and good looking and trying to find a women to sail with you. Clean your teeth, put on underarm deodorant and you may just get there.
Look at poor ole me... 70 in a couple of days, fit and well, living on a boat half the week then down to my wonderful 25 acres with a creek flowing through - the other half -- sounds good - but - when you tell a woman - they say things like - 'Does it get cold on your boat? Does it rock about? Is it windy? Is there snakes down at the block? Is there mice? Is there spiders?
What chance do you reckon I have without sacrificing this lifestyle that I love -- young fellah?!

[LuvSun]

Originally Posted by gamayun

Good luck!

Thank you and I think I know where you are aiming so no offense taken. I try to take the good from the bad and the great from the good. That sounds corny haha.