Negativity on Sailing Your Own Boat (RANT)

[Bruce626]

"Their dreams weren't strong enough to sustain them anyway. For them, it's probably a good thing to quit the dream now, before it costs them a lot of time and money." ==> I think you missed my point. It is not about me - it is about you. It is NOT your job to make this determination - a person's dream is theirs, not yours. If you cannot find it in yourself to provide some useful (even if critical) advice, then just remain silent. It is their time and money you think is being 'wasted' - however, some people need to do this to learn, and some of those will even succeed. Indeed, a person may derive enjoyment from just having the dream and working on it. Perhaps if you feel the need to discourage dreamers, you can start with gamblers who apparently dream of a big payoff despite the clear statistical evidence to the contrary. Let others, likely more suited to the task, provide the dialog with would be boaters.

[nv5l]

Originally Posted by Bruce626

"Their dreams weren't strong enough to sustain them anyway. For them, it's probably a good thing to quit the dream now, before it costs them a lot of time and money." ==> I think you missed my point. It is not about me - it is about you. It is NOT your job to make this determination - a person's dream is theirs, not yours. If you cannot find it in yourself to provide some useful (even if critical) advice, then just remain silent. It is their time and money you think is being 'wasted' - however, some people need to do this to learn, and some of those will even succeed. Indeed, a person may derive enjoyment from just having the dream and working on it. Perhaps if you feel the need to discourage dreamers, you can start with gamblers who apparently dream of a big payoff despite the clear statistical evidence to the contrary. Let others, likely more suited to the task, provide the dialog with would be boaters.

I agree completely. That's why I ignore the bad weather forecasts -- just a bunch of jerks stuck in an office somewhere trying to keep me from pursuing my dream.

In my dream, the weather's always great...

[Bash]

Originally Posted by nv5l

In my dream, the weather's always great...

Wonderblond is the same way. A fine sailor, but a bit too optimistic about weather windows. After 34 years of marriage, I've learned to ignore her forecasts.

[cburger]

[QUOTE=Bruce626;815427] "I think you missed my point. It is not about me - it is about you. It is NOT your job to make this determination - a person's dream is theirs, not yours. If you cannot find it in yourself to provide some useful (even if critical) advice, then just remain silent

Amen

[denverd0n]

Originally Posted by Bruce626

Perhaps if you feel the need to discourage dreamers...

Wow. Okay, I give up. I must not be expressing myself very well. You have COMPLETELY misunderstood what I am trying to say. Leaves me wondering if you even actually read my post. Oh well.

Just for the record, though, I don't EVER try to discourage dreamers. Their dreams are theirs, and none of my business.

[boatman61]

Hey..... whats wrong with 'Negativity'......
Sorts out the Wheat from the Chaff...
if it puts you off... you'll save a heap of money as you'll likely not last the course...
If it does not you'll lose a heap of money and hopefully have a ball...
I get loadsa negativitiy.... my boats to small... the weather/seasons wrong... I don't have AIS/Radar... I don't have a CP... I don't carry enough food....
The last one always gets me.... not everyone pigs out at the trough...
Do whats right for you... thats all that counts...

[Tellie]

Originally Posted by denverd0n

Wow. Okay, I give up. I must not be expressing myself very well. You have COMPLETELY misunderstood what I am trying to say. Leaves me wondering if you even actually read my post. Oh well.

Just for the record, though, I don't EVER try to discourage dreamers. Their dreams are theirs, and none of my business.

I understand your position very well. The thing is that everybody has a different bias to this question and will approach it and recieve it from a different point of view based on their own past experiances. It really doesn't make one more right than the other. Because of what I do I get to see a lot of people with "The Dream" in different phases of the "Dream", from dreaming to actually being ready to take off. I would say for the most part friends and families are behind the cruiser. But there are others that can be extremely negative. But then that's life from sailing off into the sunset to starting a business, having children and educating them, to where is the best place to live or retire etc. I guess the best advice about giving advice was given to me from my Dad. Be humble when asked for your opinon. You just don't always know where a person has come from and why he's really asking the question.

[boatman61]

I guess the best advice about giving advice was given to me from my Dad. Be humble when asked for your opinon. You just don't always know where a person has come from and why he's really asking the question.

[gixerjen]

This could be my thread..... I have no idea what I'm doing....but - I know I am intelligent, dedicated and brave enough to make it work.

I have had countless people tell me I'm crazy (buying a boat to live on) but I don't care! I spent the summer working with an amazing dude who told me to trust myself, and reminded me that to have a dream come true you have to dare to have the dream in the first place.

The best thing I could suggest is not to try and counter the negativity, but to try and infuse your loved ones with your self belief, daring and joy for life! Put them in your bubble with you.

Most of these naysayers tend not to have the balls to even get their asses off their sofas in the evening, never mind attempt a dream.

And remember, there's nothing that horrible about failure - so what if it goes a bit wrong. Every time, I would rather regret something I've done, than regret not having tried something......

Hang in there.... you're not alone!

[Jim Cate]

G'Day All,

Maybe the issue here is really semantic. If one replaces the word "dream" with the word "goal" the issues are reduced.

To me, a dream is unsubstantial -- like a 5 year old child saying "I'm gonna be a fireman when I grow up" -- whereas a goal has more thought and preparation associated with it -- "I'm going to learn to sail, then buy a boat and go cruising. I've started the process by reading books and talking to experienced sailors, and I'm about to start crewing at the local YC."

Encouraging a newbie to take active steps along the road is a good thing IMO, whilst blindly supporting the "just do it" motif isn't so hot. Pointing out what appear to be really bad ideas is a kindness in my eyes.

Really, I reckon that all of us who have actually been through the development curve of becoming cruisers/sailors or whatever have had to sort out both good and bad advice over the years. I have to agree that anyone who has quit because of gratuitous internet advice probably was looking for a reason to abort all along.

So, all power to the dedicated beginner... let them come join us if they will.

Cheers,

Jim

[engele]

Isn't jumping into it the way everyone starts out?

[capn_billl]

Let the others dream, I hope to see you out there.

I recommend at least some book knowledge, learned celestial navigation by trila and error is probably not the best way, (it took thousands of years for civilization to figure it out), take a shortcut read a book on it.

If you read the books, at least you'll have something to build on, just don't take a lifetime to read them. Then go, you'll learn most doing it anyway. People less prepaired than you, and much dumber have done it successfully. (we hear complaints on this board about their sloppy anchoring habits daily).

If that person is you, (or me),...Oh well. I'll do better next time, at least I'm not sitting in my armchair picking on others dreams.

Yes I have been spanked bad out there, but I survived it, and learned from it.

Hope to see you out there.

[gixerjen]

Originally Posted by capn_billl

If that person is you, (or me),...Oh well. I'll do better next time, at least I'm not sitting in my armchair picking on others dreams.

Yes I have been spanked bad out there, but I survived it, and learned from it.

Top advice - like the way you think!


Maybe if it wasn't for the sheer quantity of boring, security bound, worrying negative people, we wouldn't get such a sense of exhilaration from following our crazy dreams / goals!

[VirtualVagabond]

Originally Posted by Tellie

I guess the best advice about giving advice was given to me from my Dad. Be humble when asked for your opinon. You just don't always know where a person has come from and why he's really asking the question.

Sage advice. And I thought all you knew was watermakers...

[READY2GO]

Originally Posted by gixerjen

This could be my thread..... I have no idea what I'm doing....but - I know I am intelligent, dedicated and brave enough to make it work.

I have had countless people tell me I'm crazy (buying a boat to live on) but I don't care! I spent the summer working with an amazing dude who told me to trust myself, and reminded me that to have a dream come true you have to dare to have the dream in the first place.

The best thing I could suggest is not to try and counter the negativity, but to try and infuse your loved ones with your self belief, daring and joy for life! Put them in your bubble with you.

Most of these naysayers tend not to have the balls to even get their asses off their sofas in the evening, never mind attempt a dream.

And remember, there's nothing that horrible about failure - so what if it goes a bit wrong. Every time, I would rather regret something I've done, than regret not having tried something......

Hang in there.... you're not alone!

Just checked out your blog. Good on ya. Don't worry about people thinking you are crazy. If they didn't you would be doing something wrong.