A Fair Trade ?

[Jace]

Hi, name's Joe Keck - philosopher, fearer of God, starving artist (a writer as yet, unpublished), and an overall real good guy. In other words, about 70% bum, give or take.

I'm out of Norman, Oklahoma, right smack dab in the center of this h'yer United States of America.

Oklahoma. Great place to live, but I wouldn't want to sail here.

Anyway, I hope this doesn't sound too solicitous, but I'm looking for a sailboat (38' to 48') to move onto in an effort to lower expenses, simplify my life, and cleanse my mind of all the mundane and tedious vicissitudes of my current colorless conventional urban living. Residing, "On the hook," as they say. I don't need a million dollar state of the art computerized AI vessel. I'm not that lofty of expectation. However, I don't want a floating hut, either. Something in between – a high something in between, if at all possible.

As you might expect from the initial gushing description of my talents and intellectual pursuits, I have no money. WAIT! Hold on, hold on! Put the finger down, and step away from the keyboard. Okay. Before you roll your eyes and click to the next item, let me explain. I am a skilled and talented woodcraftsman, as well as a journeyman in the painting and drywall trades, with many years of experience. And therefore, I happen to be quite good - expert, if I may be so bold - with remodeling and home repair.

If you would care to trade your little used and money pit boat for some work on your house or garage, I have all the tools and equipment necessary for just about any woodworking or remodeling project you may have, and would be happy to discuss it with you. Come on, get out from under that expensive monthly slip payment and get that nagging, screaming, ball and chain better half - and delicate little flower that you love so very dearly and wouldn't trade for all the gold in Kansas - off your back. Make her happy and give yourself more quality time with that special one, whether it's A&M, OU, or Pittsburgh, Green bay, or the Cowboys.

And ladies, it's high time you get that lazy, good for nothing, couch covering, HD hypnotized husband of yours that keeps promising to get to that project, "... as soon as the game's over, sweetheart." I'm sure he loves you very much, and considers you his delicate little flower that he loves so very dearly and wouldn't trade you for all the gold in Kansas. But let's get real. He has Dorito debris in his chest hair and a collection of beer cans that could replace your aluminum siding. He aint' gonna' do it, and you know it.
So, get someone who will ... Joe Keck, at your service. Sort of a two birds, one stone kinda' thing: Get rid of that boat eating up your bank account in docking fees, and get that bathroom or kitchen refurbished at the same time.

Give it some serious thought. After all, your marriage depends on it.
Thanks, I wish you the best, and good luck with your sails/sales.

p.s. You better take quick advantage of this, because once I get published and become a best selling author, I'll be far too uppity and self centered to even give you the time of day.

[Talbot]

I would suggest that you consider a trawl through boat yards, as sometimes they have boats that are beyond the capabilities of their owner, and want to get them off their books. However, you will still need to either move the boat (cost) or pay yard fees (more cost) while you fix up a fixer-upper.

[Boracay]

Umteen hours into fitting out Boracay I wonder why any sane person would consider such a task.

It would not have been a huge amount more work to build a boat from scratch, say one of those Easy Cat thingos.

And probably not much difference in price.

Now launching, that would not be easy for you.

[Ram]

I have this one i would trade to you ....needs a little work but the title is clear...all you need is love and a little elbow GREACE

[Ex-Calif]

Originally Posted by Jace

As you might expect from the initial gushing description of my talents and intellectual pursuits, I have no money. WAIT! Hold on, hold on! Put the finger down, and step away from the keyboard. Okay. Before you roll your eyes and click to the next item, let me explain.

+2 for originality.

Good luck in your pursuit of the ever elusive free boat...

I have this one i would trade to you ....needs a little work but the title is clear...all you need is love and a little elbow GREACE

...and a patch and a bucket...

[Jace]

To Ram - Lol.

To Ex-Calif - Thanks much.

To Boracay - I have some time available to me and as I mentioned, not so little skills. As long as I can sail it and sleep on it, that's all I need. The rest I can do as I go along.

[Bash]

I just got an idea for a novel. The protagonist "hires" a handyman (without a contractor's license, of course) to refurbish her kitchen after he offers to do the job for free if she'll let him move into her yacht while completing the job. Of course, the increasingly nightmarish handyman has no incentive to complete the job, because this means he'll lose his free digs. So the remodel job keeps expanding, and at the point where half the house is torn up he offers to swap living situations, since the house is such a mess, so the desperate homeowners move aboard their yacht while the handyman moves into the house, living there for free of course, at considerable expense to the owners. Trying to make the best of a bad situation, the owners decide to go cruise for a year, something they've always wanted to do. (And, get this, the handyman actually hooked up with them on a cruisers website.) They do the ICW and the Bahamas, et cetera. A year goes by, and when the couple finally tries to get their life/home back they discover that the handyman has been spending all his time trying to become a best-selling author, and that he's become too uppity and self-centered to give them the time of day.

[Ram]

Originally Posted by Bash

I just got an idea for a novel. The protagonist "hires" a handyman (without a contractor's license, of course) to refurbish her kitchen after he offers to do the job for free if she'll let him move into her yacht while completing the job. Of course, the increasingly nightmarish handyman has no incentive to complete the job, because this means he'll lose his free digs. So the remodel job keeps expanding, and at the point where half the house is torn up he offers to swap living situations, since the house is such a mess, so the desperate homeowners move aboard their yacht while the handyman moves into the house, living there for free of course, at considerable expense to the owners. A year goes by, and when the couple finally tries to get their life/home back they discover that the handyman has been spending all his time trying to become a best-selling author, and that he's become too uppity and self-centered to give them the time of day.

i like it!

[Jace]

Funny, Bash, very funny. Really, though, it sounds more like a sitcom than a novel. Considering that I'm a horror, thriller, and weird fiction writer, my mind naturally goes to more of a terror kind of story line. But hey, "Just keep thinking, Butch, that's what you're good at." (for the non-movie fanatics, that's a line from "Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid)

[nautical62]

As someone who also lives in the Great Plains States, I think you will find that land based housing is much less expensive per foot than even a very basic 40-foot boat.

My 120K home has 10 times the space of my 120K sailboat. The sailboat costs 4 times more to insure. Despite the economy, my home is worth more now than it was 10 years ago and should continue to appreciate. My boat has lost 40% of it's value in 5 years. Both require similar maintenance.


Certainly one can find both cheaper homes and boats than I have.

Clearly, my house does not sail very well.

[mike d.]

hahaha!!!!!! you can't be serious. even if i had a derelict vessel and needed work on the house i wouldn't do anything that dumb. what! give a person you don't know from Adam a boat for workmanship you have never seen and probably never would, because he would be to busy trying to fix the boat with no money. if you don't have the money to buy a boat where will you get the money to fix it, pay for a mooring, insurance, etc., etc., etc.

[Bash]

I'll have to take your word for the sitcom thing. But I offer an observation, regardless of your disdain for my literary proclivities. I've been cruising this forum for a year now (check out my join date) and so far at least a half-dozen people have offered to take over my slip fees in return for my handing over the keys to my boat. The people proffering these kind offers all have two things in common: big dreams, no income. But here's the rub--if I were in a situation where I wanted a caretaker for my boat for a year or two, I'd be able to be quite selective about to whom I'd offer the opportunity. First, the person would have to know his or her way around a boat. Second, the person would have to be known in the local community. Third, the person would have to have a stable job. Despite such selective criteria, I suspect that I could put the word out at our local chandlery or down at my yacht club, and by next Monday I'd have dozens of applicants who met the qualifications outlined above. And that's for a boat in a slip that costs $800 per month.

Keep dreaming your dreams, Jace, but realize that the market for boat-sitters is kinda tight.

[Jace]

Originally Posted by mike d.

hahaha!!!!!! you can't be serious. even if i had a derelict vessel and needed work on the house i wouldn't do anything that dumb. what! give a person you don't know from Adam a boat for workmanship you have never seen and probably never would, because he would be to busy trying to fix the boat with no money. if you don't have the money to buy a boat where will you get the money to fix it, pay for a mooring, insurance, etc., etc., etc.

Prayer, mike, prayer. Stranger things have happened, and besides, God loves me. I'm a Calvinist. If He wants me to get a boat, I'll get one. I'm just trying to make it a little easier on Him, you know, what with all the hassle He has running the universe and everything.

[Jace]

Originally Posted by nautical62

As someone who also lives in the Great Plains States, I think you will find that land based housing is much less expensive per foot than even a very basic 40-foot boat.

My 120K home has 10 times the space of my 120K sailboat. The sailboat costs 4 times more to insure. Despite the economy, my home is worth more now than it was 10 years ago and should continue to appreciate. My boat has lost 40% of it's value in 5 years. Both require similar maintenance.


Certainly one can find both cheaper homes and boats than I have.

Clearly, my house does not sail very well.

I don't need much space: no family, no friends, your basic dismal, lonely life. Just kidding ... about the dismal part. I found a place that will allow living on the boat for 5$ a boat foot. That's around 175-250$ for me, WITH wi-fi! I just have to pay a per usage electricity fee. A one bedroom apartment can't even come close to that.

I'm happy.

[mike d.]

sorry!!! i like you am quite good at DRYWALL, AND CARPENTRY, and can make quite a good living in the North East doing it however i would not try to get some else to fund my desires. damb if that that isn't crass, or ballsy. i guess what I'm saying is, get the money!, then get the boat. you will feel so much more inner peace because you didn't hoodwink anyone out of their belongings. can't stand people who try to get others to pay their way to one's dreams.