Liveaboard Dating

[jgbrown]

Liveaboard dating is great:-) Though it was a bit stressful living aboard with two, until the relationship came to a close. As a single guy, a boat is a great place to live, and if you get a stalker... You can move! ;-)

One wonderful lady I dated(we separated due to work/school putting us on opposite ends of the country very suddenly, she had the good sense to end it before it got unpleasant, unlike me) came to visit the other day commented on all the room in the boat. She's much better looking than I am, almost a decade older, with a book published on her travels, and a couple of good degrees... So I'm not too sure why you guys are worrying so much about it, if someone like that thinks it's great?

Just meeting the wrong people for your lifestyle. We met working at a camp years ago, and most of the outdoorsy people seem more comfortable with the idea of living on a boat...
I even asked her thoughts on dating someone who lived on a boat or living on a boat herself, thinking of this thread. Her only point of concern was that she wouldn't raise a family on such a small boat because she thought it important for kids to have a space of their own...
But until then thought it was a good sized space provided there was a bit of storage elsewhere, or if both people had their own boats of the same size as mine(Alberg 30).


I wouldn't date someone who was totally focused on mall shopping, bar hopping and expensives flights to resorts... Like teaching a pig to sing, it wastes their time, and annoys me. I'm as good at sitting in malls as I am at singing ;-).


My fellow live-aboard in the marina has a different perspective. He says living on a boat is the best and worst thing you can do for dating.
The first date it's Oh, you live on a boat?!
By the third it's Oh right... You live on a boat.

That being said there's a girl leaving a job at one of the best universities in the USA, to move up here and live on his 32' sailboat with all of it's leaks, so I think living aboard and dating works just fine!

[Seaworthy Lass]

Originally Posted by Celestialsailor

I was selling one of my boats back in the 90's to a really good looking gal who had just broke up with her drunk bf, 3 docks down. She hinted very heavily that I should keep the boat and her and I take off. It wasn't what I was looking for at the time (what an idiot). She ended up putting a down payment on it until her father came up with the rest of the loot. A week later asked for her deposit back and that she met somebody new and was engaged! It takes all kinds I guess...

Sounds like a lucky escape to me LOL .

[GaryMayo]

Originally Posted by kirsi

How about the guy who came to check out my boat. Then wanted to sail around the world with me, but I had to get rid of my dog.

Bad trade

[GaryMayo]

Originally Posted by Celestialsailor

I was selling one of my boats back in the 90's to a really good looking gal who had just broke up with her drunk bf, 3 docks down. She hinted very heavily that I should keep the boat and her and I take off. It wasn't what I was looking for at the time (what an idiot). She ended up putting a down payment on it until her father came up with the rest of the loot. A week later asked for her deposit back and that she met somebody new and was engaged! It takes all kinds I guess...

Deposit is not a one way obligation. Wish the whole world played Chess and understood the touch move principle. Would make life so much more enjoyable.

Several people touched on the best friend part of a relationship. I would easily call my wife my only true friend.

[zeehag]

i hve yet to meet a male who is able to handle the idea that the female has the boat and the cat and an income....seems ypou guys lik eth ehelpless lasses....have fun with that-i worked many many years to raise a kid sola and then when he moved out , a fat tweeker ex hubby, then i merely gave away the alleged extra income as i made it, helping those less fortunate than am i....now..i still have an almost acceptable income an di can make it while cruising on my own..i cannot support a lazy bumpkin , nor will i, an di LOVE sailing ..and my boat and my cat.....

[Sailorman375]

Ladies the ugly truth is that men are visual. My rant about women looking to be taken care of financially is another ugly truth.

[zeehag]

Originally Posted by Sailorman375

Ladies the ugly truth is that men are visual. My rant about women looking to be taken care of financially is another ugly truth.

some of those ugly truths are specific to your lifestyle, not everyone's--i kno wmales like the sexphoto--they NEED something for self gratification.
as fo r women ALL seeking someone to "take care of them"--is only a certain few. the REAL women dont NEED that much and prolly already have an income of self sustaining levels.....think about it...
as for me--i seek someone to share my travels and adventures--would be lovely if i didnt have to support his ugly ass, so derelicts need not apply ...

[ArtM]

Originally Posted by zeehag

some of those ugly truths are specific to your lifestyle, not everyone's--i kno wmales like the sexphoto--they NEED something for self gratification.
as fo r women ALL seeking someone to "take care of them"--is only a certain few. the REAL women dont NEED that much and prolly already have an income of self sustaining levels.....think about it...
as for me--i seek someone to share my travels and adventures--would be lovely if i didnt have to support his ugly ass, so derelicts need not apply ...

I'll support a woman who will support me. When she is no longer interested in supporting my wants and needs, I'll lose interest in supporting hers.

There is nothing "ugly" in this truth. It is just being honest. And it is really the essence of a long-term relationship - supporting one another's wants and needs in a way that is easier and more pleasant that doing it yourself.

[Seaworthy Lass]

Originally Posted by ArtM

I'll support a woman who will support me. When she is no longer interested in supporting my wants and needs, I'll lose interest in supporting hers.

There is nothing "ugly" in this truth. It is just being honest. And it is really the essence of a long-term relationship - supporting one another's wants and needs in a way that is easier and more pleasant that doing it yourself.

That sounds to me like a business agreement, not a personal relationship!

[zeehag]

sharing works. one sidedness doesnt work.
lets share the sharing.....is way too much adventure to hog it all sola..lol....

[Ram]

Originally Posted by zeehag

sharing works. one sidedness doesnt work.
lets share the sharing.....is way too much adventure to hog it all sola..lol....

Yes!, life is better when you give of yourself 100%

[ArtM]

Originally Posted by Seaworthy Lass

That sounds to me like a business agreement, not a personal relationship!

Every "personal relationship" between life partners of any sex includes an implicit business relationship - one which is not agreed upon in advance, and usually not even known to the participants.

When that truth gets exposed - that's when it gets ugly!

In any case, it is equally important - perhaps more important - for equality in a personal relationship. Also, similarly to a business relationship, it is not necessary, nor really even desirable, for all partners to bring the same benefits to the table.

A woman who is "looking for financial support" can also be said to be "looking to enrich the life of someone", but in non-financial ways

[Sailor g]

Originally Posted by Sailorman375

Ladies the ugly truth is that men are visual. My rant about women looking to be taken care of financially is another ugly truth.

OTOH-I've heard men, as they age, are looking for a nurse and a purse-someone who will take care of them in their elder years.

People have needs-if someone is up for the job-good for them. They may have mutual needs that the relationship fills. Good for them if it works. I think that it's women only is outdated. Women can make their own money & often support their spouse. My husband is retired while I still work.

[Pelagic]

We all make choices based on our own perceptions…. I always thought my love of the Sea and my commitment to living and working on it, was obvious from the very first date.

However, it is amazing what the other person sees thru rose colored glasses, when your difference is at first exciting and you eventually declare your love for them.

Living onboard has saved me from mistaking love for compatibility and this song has helped me survive a few poor choices:

Harry Nilsson - You're Breaking My Heart - YouTube

[David_Old_Jersey]

Originally Posted by Seaworthy Lass

That sounds to me like a business agreement, not a personal relationship!

I agree, but for me that is not a bad thing ..............it's just a recognition that any relationship (personal or business) is based on a lot of pragmatism including the "what's in it for me" angle (the stuff apart the warm fuzzy feelgood factor).

Indeed IMO a relationship based solely on the latter ain't likely to be sustainable over the long term. What is needed is both folks putting into the pot and that the pot itself is greater than either could acheive themselves and that both get to draw from it - and that includes the dull stuff like money. Of course lots of variation on what each adds to the pot (that the other also values), whilst accepting that does vary over time - especially on whether one side still considers that the other's contributions continue to have sufficient value, including in comparison to the "market place" .

Being not very romantic don't mean it ain't true............