I feel nautical terminology is a sort of practical Esperanto allowing you to travel from boat to boat (think country to country) knowing you will be understood wherever you go.
I have found this to be so, and as a lingua franca
really handy when one crews on a lot of boats. "thingie" does not communicate anything useful, to my way of thinking.
Concerning the issue of perceived inadequate water
flow, I do think you should speak up in private. I would not delegate it to your wife. It is your perception, after all. However, if egos are sensitive following the demise of her husband, a simple statement of your observations, and your concern is probably as far as you should go.
Actually, I agree with your good lady, that the two of you were seen as interlopers where the other crew had appointed themselves the guardian angels of the skipper
. FWIW, I thought of it before I got to that post of yours.
If you are clear with the skipper
that you felt concerned but not certain, I think she'd appreciate the input, and might be grateful for it.