Sailing vs Cruising

[Mike OReilly]

Originally Posted by wingssail

…But I also know that if I accomplish something each day, the project list eventually gets shorter. ...

Funny. That’s what I whisper to myself every day on the boat: Do One Thing. It can be big, or it can be small. But I do try and do ‘one thing’ each day — with varying levels of success .

[daletournier]

Originally Posted by JPA Cate

Thomm,

Way back when Jim and I still had formal employment, our sailing was confined to weekends and vacations. For vacations, we'd sail from SF to Southern Calif, to the Channel Is., stay for a bit, and day hop the return trip. We stopped in at Santa Cruz to see his former officemate in SC. Went to a phone booth, and a voice Jim didn't recognize answered.

Jim asked, "Can I speak to K?"

"No," the voice replied.

"Well, why not?"

"He's dying."

As it turned out, our friend had been diagnosed with lung cancer. He was not a smoker, and he still died in just a few months from when we had last seen him.

*

I'm wondering whether your questioning about all this at this time, and in the way you are doing, isn't because deep down, it is hard to say "I'm not longer the young man who took my son sailing", now I'm beginning to look at the latter part of my life, and I want to enjoy it, and I want to be on the water, but at the same time, I want to retain my sense of self worth, and I like being paid for my time. Maybe i should be more self validating, but I also like external validation."

For me, giving up that external validation from work was, indeed an issue, not everyone is totally self-validating.

If you go forward and sail your present boat to the Bahamas, and return, and find, during that process that you want a bigger boat, fine, but you might also find that you really like the less is more approach, and that she would suit you for further exploration. The ONLY way is to give it a try.

Jim and I cruised for a year, then had to return and work another year and a bit and I sold my house to be the cruising kitty, and then we both "retired" early. [Jim had taken a leave of absence; as it happened, my old job was still available.] Our new identities over time became those of cruising sailors. It is not a large community, and there are the occasional opportunities to do positive things (small ones) in the world.

There is a way forward, but it involves confronting whatever your fears are, and moving beyond. I thought your answer to belize sailor's suggestion of a sabbatical --that you didn't have time and were needed at work-- was possibly a bit of self deception. I'm sure you do a good job, and they want to hold onto you, but no one is irreplaceable, after all.

These forks in the roads of one's life can be really difficult to negotiate, because by choosing the one, you don't get to find out what would happen on the other. You have to make the choice without knowing the outcome. And you can only walk the fork till it splits you in two--can't let that happen, so you leap to one side or the other. Might be best to decide, and start enjoying.

By the way, don't worry about the young 'uns on the highway: they're excitable, but usually have pretty fast reflexes. Besides, it's one of the aspects of life over which you have no control, no point in wasting energy over it.

Fair winds, lad.



Ann

To choose is to renounce.

[valhalla360]

Originally Posted by Auspicious

Some of us do pay attention. It may not be every five minutes but certainly every horizon scan. Some of us get the sails dialed in and set the autopilot to wind vane mode or use a vane which makes maintaining good sail trim easier.

There's nothing wrong if you like to focus on sailing performance...my issue is the implication that if you don't, you aren't cruising.

Sometimes there is overlap but:
Sailing =/= Cruising

[ranger58sb]

Originally Posted by Mike OReilly

Funny. That’s what I whisper to myself every day on the boat: Do One Thing. It can be big, or it can be small. But I do try and do ‘one thing’ each day — with varying levels of success .

Me too.

Although yesterday I actually did 3 things. Almost wore me out.

-Chris

[thomm225]

Originally Posted by JPA Cate

Thomm,

Way back when Jim and I still had formal employment, our sailing was confined to weekends and vacations. For vacations, we'd sail from SF to Southern Calif, to the Channel Is., stay for a bit, and day hop the return trip. We stopped in at Santa Cruz to see his former officemate in SC. Went to a phone booth, and a voice Jim didn't recognize answered.

Jim asked, "Can I speak to K?"

"No," the voice replied.

"Well, why not?"

"He's dying."

As it turned out, our friend had been diagnosed with lung cancer. He was not a smoker, and he still died in just a few months from when we had last seen him.

*

I'm wondering whether your questioning about all this at this time, and in the way you are doing, isn't because deep down, it is hard to say "I'm not longer the young man who took my son sailing", now I'm beginning to look at the latter part of my life, and I want to enjoy it, and I want to be on the water, but at the same time, I want to retain my sense of self worth, and I like being paid for my time. Maybe i should be more self validating, but I also like external validation."

For me, giving up that external validation from work was, indeed an issue, not everyone is totally self-validating.

If you go forward and sail your present boat to the Bahamas, and return, and find, during that process that you want a bigger boat, fine, but you might also find that you really like the less is more approach, and that she would suit you for further exploration. The ONLY way is to give it a try.

Jim and I cruised for a year, then had to return and work another year and a bit and I sold my house to be the cruising kitty, and then we both "retired" early. [Jim had taken a leave of absence; as it happened, my old job was still available.] Our new identities over time became those of cruising sailors. It is not a large community, and there are the occasional opportunities to do positive things (small ones) in the world.

There is a way forward, but it involves confronting whatever your fears are, and moving beyond. I thought your answer to belize sailor's suggestion of a sabbatical --that you didn't have time and were needed at work-- was possibly a bit of self deception. I'm sure you do a good job, and they want to hold onto you, but no one is irreplaceable, after all.

These forks in the roads of one's life can be really difficult to negotiate, because by choosing the one, you don't get to find out what would happen on the other. You have to make the choice without knowing the outcome. And you can only walk the fork till it splits you in two--can't let that happen, so you leap to one side or the other. Might be best to decide, and start enjoying.

By the way, don't worry about the young 'uns on the highway: they're excitable, but usually have pretty fast reflexes. Besides, it's one of the aspects of life over which you have no control, no point in wasting energy over it.

Fair winds, lad.



Ann

Good info Ann, Thanks.

My sailing plans sort of got derailed in 2014. I was about 5 minutes away from seeing what I was hoping would be my next sailboat (an Allied 36 I think it was) when my son called from a Hospital in New Orleans

He'd been diagnosed with a Brain Tumor. He was a musician in New Orleans then. Long story short it was a grade 3 cancerous tumor with prognosis of 2 years or so of life left

This can totally floor a parent emotionally. You keep thinking it's a bad dream.

Supporting a loved one 1100 miles away while working is tough and expensive. I made maybe 8 flights and 5 trips by car over two years (including long motel stays in a tourist city) then we finally moved him up here but it was still touch and go. Then there was the problem of health insurance, etc, etc. He did the chemo mostly alone except for his Dog. He made 6 trips or so up here by car/jeep (somehow)

He's doing quite well now though and may actually start playing music again. He's been repairing this old house, maintaining the grounds and yard, going to the gym, doing art work projects.

All the above totally recalibrates your priorities. Nothing is the same afterward. You come to understand how precious life and family is

All of us here love sailing, cruising, being on the water, talking sailboat or boats in general. we like to look at boats. we like to argue over which boat is best!

So part of my reason for still working is financial but the other part is I like to stay busy

When I moved to the Gulf Coast I had to decide then whether to buy a new higher tech beach cat or monohull. I went the beach cat route because I knew I wasn't ready for monohulls and that type life, but I figured one day I would be

As far as when to quit/retire and cruise. It will be at 70 or before. I do enjoy sailing 20-50 miles away from my slip and sailing back with a big wind

I like testing my little boat in large waves and wind. (especially when I'm rested up. It's not as fun when really tired)

This little boat has taught me tons about boat maintenance and it's seaworthiness. Even the PO's choice of ground tackle has saved my butt numerous times in bad anchorages with waves and onshore winds.

I have also learned to trust it. I know a lot about what it can handle and how it likes to sail

Cruising is way different from all my other boating but my other boating gave me good skills (except docking) since I started so young.

The biggest difference I've noticed between sailing and cruising is the overnighting and being anchored in one spot for days on end sometimes due to weather. Moving to a better anchorage at night has been another lesson.........

[Mike OReilly]

Originally Posted by ranger42c

Me too.
Although yesterday I actually did 3 things. Almost wore me out.

Crazy! But now you can take the next couple of days off .

[sailorboy1]

I hate that doing a project always makes another project. Why is it that now that you are on the boat full time there are more projects than back when you were a weekend sailor?

[Tayana42]

Thomm,

I have great respect for your choice to “be there” for your son. That kind of devastating illness in a family does cause one to focus on family as the number one important thing in life. If that causes you to limit your other ambitions or other pursuits than that is the choice you make.

And as you have expressed that doesn’t mean you stop living. You can enjoy sailing closer to home with the boat you already have. You can do what you need to do to keep family first and still find joy and adventure in the world around you, just nearer to hand. I’ve said before that one can cruise without going very far and adventure can be found wherever one looks for it.

Sail, work, love your family, fix your boat. It is all good.

[ranger58sb]

Originally Posted by thomm225

He's doing quite well now though and may actually start playing music again. He's been repairing this old house, maintaining the grounds and yard, going to the gym, doing art work projects.

Cruising is way different from all my other boating but my other boating gave me good skills (except docking) since I started so young.

The biggest difference I've noticed between sailing and cruising is the overnighting and being anchored in one spot for days on end sometimes due to weather. Moving to a better anchorage at night has been another lesson.........

Glad to hear all that took a turn for the better!

I don't do all that much "classifying" of various activities. Short distance marina and/or anchorage hopping = boating. Long distance ditto = ditto. Very long (e.g., over-winter) trips = boating. Trolling in the local fishery = boating. Fixing something onboard = boating. Staying overnight onboard in our marina = boating.

I sometimes even think ordering parts to fix something = boating. Although maybe that's a bit over the top.

Anyway, we do all that stuff, without regard to whether we (or someone else) might call it "cruising" or "sailing: (er... in our case, maybe "steaming"? or "dieseling"?)

We just do as we please, no labels needed.

-Chris

Originally Posted by Mike OReilly

Crazy! But now you can take the next couple of days off .

Ooops, too late. Already did one thing today, and I might even do one more, too.

We'll see.

-Chris

[Cheechako]

My opinion: Boat = Tool. Use the one in the way that fits your situation.

[wingssail]

Originally Posted by thomm225

The boat I have now is still small but my son convinced me that painting the interior white or a lighter color over the old paneling would help

He even did a section without asking me and I didn't like it .......at first. It took a month before I proceeded on from where he stopped

It's not perfect but it's much more "livable" than before so i could possibly spend more time down there than just sleeping or cooking maybe if necessary

Before is displayed in the video which was after a long, cool, windy sail last October across the Chesapeake Bay westward into Mobjack Bay then up the Severn River to a decent anchorage. (forgot to turn off the playlist)

My problem with this boat is that every time I put it up for sale and someone comes to look at it I end up trying to talk them out of it.

Beautiful, every time I see a photo I like it more (no I don't want to trade)

[wingssail]

Originally Posted by valhalla360

...You are also still conflating cruising and sailing. I seriously doubt you will find many cruisers on ocean crossings trimming the sails every 5 min (In fact, I doubt you could find a single example). Even coastal cruisers mostly don't get too intense about maximizing the sailing ability...

Not good to generalize. Some cruisers are sailors, many in fact.

And many of us like to sail with the sails nicely set and the boat working as it should, whether cruising the bay or crossing an ocean.

But when we get the sails set and the wind vane engaged we don't often have to touch anything unless the conditions change.

And when someone says something like "I seriously doubt you will find many cruisers on ocean crossings trimming the sails every 5 min" it puts me off a bit. That statement drips with exaggeration and distain.

[barnakiel]

There isn't any difference.


Most of the time, if in a sailing boat, you will sail to the places where you cruise.


Technically, you could possibly cruise from say NY to Panama without doing any sailing, also in a sail boat. But few do so, if a boat has a mast and some usable sails, most people will sail where it does not take away from comfort onboard and timing of the planned trip.


All sailors can cruise (?) while most cruisers can sail (many enough to say 'all').


So there is no difference. Unless one is a picky linguist or somethin'.


Olympic dinghy racing, is not, mind you, technically, cuising ;-)



b.

[thomm225]

[QUOTE=Tayana42;2996320]Thomm,

I have great respect for your choice to “be there” for your son. That kind of devastating illness in a family does cause one to focus on family as the number one important thing in life. If that causes you to limit your other ambitions or other pursuits than that is the choice you make.

And as you have expressed that doesn’t mean you stop living. You can enjoy sailing closer to home with the boat you already have. You can do what you need to do to keep family first and still find joy and adventure in the world around you, just nearer to hand. I’ve said before that one can cruise without going very far and adventure can be found wherever one looks for it.

Sail, work, love your family, fix your boat.

Thanks, I didn't mean to bring all this up it just happened...…

My son is an artist. I'm a tech nerd sorta. I'm hyper, he is more laid back at least for a son of hyper parents

He doesn't need me near all the time these days just sometimes.

I live 75 miles away and on the other side of a bridge that costs $15.00 to cross. I visit here and there

I'll still cruise when I'm ready and the time is right.

I may go on my present boat but I sure like the look of the Bristol 35.5

[thomm225]

Originally Posted by wingssail

Beautiful, every time I see a photo I like it more (no I don't want to trade)

Thanks.

Will trade any day though!