How much say do women really have

[Tayana42]

I prefer a boat with my wife in it. We make all the big decisions together, with discussion and input from both of us. I know more about the mechanics and systems on the boat, she knows more about finances and investing, we both know what we like in a boat. We've been sailing together for nearly 47 years and intend to keep it that way.


S/V B'Shert

[AZUS]

I've been sailing for 40 years, chartering with my family for 20, and just bought a multihull for my wife and I to live on.

As a kid I only sailed monohulls and thought that catamarans were not "real sailboats". I was a monohull snob until I was 35.

My first multihull charter, a 47' R&C boat in Tortola, was chosen PURELY to make my family happy with sailing - and they loved it. I figured we'd get them interested in sailing, and then move on to "real boats"

The problem? I quickly became a believer myself. Now, I can't imagine living on one of those small, slow monohulls and spending half my life at a 30 degree angle.

Next year we take delivery on our Antares 44i in Argentina, and will sail it to the Med. And until you asked the question, I had entirely forgotten that I had ever thought any other way about catamarans!

[meirriba]

Originally Posted by robert sailor

We have met a lot of different cruisers over the last 2-1/2 years. I won't include the 7 years we cruised prior as we had a 10 year break and mono hulls ruled the world back then but not anymore.

In our experience a very large number of the Cat owners told us that if they had stuck with a mono hull their wives would not have gone cruising.

So my question is: When you made your choice of a mono or Cat just how much influence did your wife really have? Was it like some people have told us, buy a Cat or leave me home or are these just old wives tales?

I can attest that the catamaran was my wife's decision - she said either a cat with her or mono alone by myself. Some will say I have made a mistaken choice...

[Miz Pea]

Thankfully, men who believe that women should be subordinate to them, and the women who marry them, are a dying breed.

[Saleen411]

An old couple were on the news recently (married 70 years). Asked how they stayed together so long, the man says....

Communication....communication is KEY. Anytime we have a problem or issue, we mutually sit down and calmly exchange ideas and discuss our various viewpoints on how we should handle the situation............. then we do it her way.

[mlou]

As a woman, I prefer a Cat. Less stairs and crawling in & out of the galley. You also have a view of the scenery while preparing meals. After a week on a monohull, climbing the galley steps, my knees were talking to me. I am in good shape & active, we sail Cats and love it.

[lesterbutch]

My wife and I own a mono and recently sailed extensively on a cat. We both feel that the mono is hands and feet above the cat when it comes to rough water sailing but the cat wins on overall roominess and speed in moderate winds. I have to say I will stick to a mono because they are much more sea worthy than cats. Show me a cat that is self righting after a 180!

[leitgib]

For us, the right question was "What is the program?". Then we asked ourselves if we want to cruise or if we want to spend quality time together. When we came to the conclusion that we'll spend like 90% of our time anchored, a cat became a natural choice for both. Before this trip, we owned and enjoyed a mono and also rented only mono's, but then, we were sailing and working much more. Today, we rest.
www.sailingsalamander.com

[Bulawayo]

Originally Posted by robert sailor

We have met a lot of different cruisers over the last 2-1/2 years. I won't include the 7 years we cruised prior as we had a 10 year break and mono hulls ruled the world back then but not anymore.

In our experience a very large number of the Cat owners told us that if they had stuck with a mono hull their wives would not have gone cruising.

So my question is: When you made your choice of a mono or Cat just how much influence did your wife really have? Was it like some people have told us, buy a Cat or leave me home or are these just old wives tales?

My wife was not comfortable on our mono but once she went on a multi-hull she fell in love with the concept of sailing. After so many years aboard cats, I also prefer them, but I also still like the notion of a monohull.
I dont remember which Aussie boat builder had a sticker on their boat;
"If it ain't a cat, its a dog." The accompanying picture was pretty ribald.

[Tom and Maje]

In our case, my husband insisted on the cat. I would have been happy on a monohull.


Maje

[TheThunderbird]

I chose my old school 54' cutter as a single.

I am looking for a woman who likes both, boat and captain.

Frankly, I met one lady, who could even force me to stop sailing almost...life will rule it out, one way or another..

PS now, when seeing a cat, i know that 80% there is a woman on board.. :-)

[Debgen]

When we first started sailing/crusing we looked at monos/motor sailors/trawlers and multihulls. The process took over 18 months before we purchased our first cat. Neither of us had sailed before, but the allure of flat sailing, faster speed, more room and shallow draft won us over. We have never looked back. We've recently bought our third and I think final since my teeth are getting longer but every decision is a joint one

[AlwaysFORSAIL]

They have all he say. If you aren't listening to your partner you have a problem. Decisions are best left to those most knowledgeable as well as affected.

At the risk of being indelicate, "Women control more than half the assets in this world and all the ass."

[ShaktiGurl]

It was a process we went through together. We always assumed we would get a large mono. Bought a 30ft mono for vacations while attending boat shows for our eventual live-aboard cruiser. After a few years of shows, charters, and ownership we knew we wanted a catamaran, if at all possible. So here we are but I did have to reign in my husband on the size!

[CLady]

Well, when she is the owner/skipper, she has a lot.

Observation: So many men lament that their wives/S.O.'s won't go sailing/cruising. Many of these men have 40ft+ very nice boats,( monohulls and catamarans). What I see is that they are unable to adjust to empathically help their woman feel trust and personal empowerment on the boat/it's operation. I see men enthusiastically assert that she "trust me" and unwittingly, with all of his own confidence, too quickly operate the boat full bore, (because to him, he's just doing a great job as master of his vessel and really wants her to see him as capable and be proud of him), without considering that to her, it's like watching a violent adventure/thriller movie that is sped up! She gets overwhelmed. In his excitement to be "out there" with her, she ends up feeling isolated, helpless, forgotten, and hurt. Not good.

P.S., it goes the other way around also, In my excitement to go out on my boat with a man who asserts that he's a 'real sailor', I am at risk of doing the same thing--checking in with him is very important. I liken it to letting a guy friend get into the driver's seat of a Ferrari for his first time and expecting him to operate it at full competency instantly. Everything is not familiar. Many of us sailors have been doing it for so long on our boats that it is second nature and forget the process we went through in learning and 'getting the ropes'.

I hope this is helpful.
C Lady