How much say do men really have

[Prairie Chicken]

My experience is that men tend to huff/puff and grumpa lot, but whever a woman wants to have it her way she can easily figure out how to tame the savage beast and get it exactly as she wants.

Boy! I must be doing everything wrong! This comment and others of the same ilk sure lead me to believe I've been doing something very wrong all these years. On our boat (& elsewhere), what the captain wants, the captain gets. If I disagree, it just takes him a bit longer to get it.

[bill352]

Originally Posted by Seaworthy Lass

How many tools does a guy really need though?

As many as it takes to jury-rig an Aeropress, I'd say. Table saw. lathe, and drill press, if that's what it takes.

Also, "Yes, dear" is only half of a long and happy marriage. The other half is "My fault". And once you've mastered those phrases, it's amazing how little else you have to do.

[Wotname]

Gawd, I been trying so hard to stay away from this thread...
Dont want to get banned or worse, earn the ire of SWL...

Insight - this seems to a very one sided thread, haven't see any posts by the "better half"; tells me its a one sided relationship; but just can't tell which side has the real power and which side just thinks she has.

I always suggest comprise; like really big speaker boxes that double as shoeboxes - simples isnt it, more shoes demand more speaker boxes.

As for all this talk about tools and so on and so forth, again it is simples - consider the toolbox before the tool. If it a valuable and most useful tool, it should demand a valuable and most desireable toobox, preferably well secured and stored in a safe place. I'd suggest somewhere near that big island bed as most islands have at least one safe haven regardless of tempests.

Now about that choccy safe

[svmariane]

Originally Posted by Seaworthy Lass

My question is: When you made your choice of boat just how much influence did your male partner really have? Was it like some people say: buy xyz or leave me home or are these just old men's tales?

We are currently planning the design of a new boat .

Now I must admit we will be living on board together, but how much say should a man have when it comes to boat design? My husband insists he has some requirements - cold drinks, hot showers, a large island bed, two lots of speakers for his hifi, a workbench and storage space for tools. Something about needing a super large anchor and oversized anchor winch too.

Should I humour the Admiral?
Suggestions gratefully appreciated.

SWL

Let it be known that I,
as the male part of our husband/wife team,
made and still make ALL decisions
regarding ALL aspects
related to our sailboat.

And I have my wife's permission to say things like that.
In public.
Sort of.
Well, sometimes.

Now please excuse me....
The Captain says the deck needs a good scrub.

James
The Commodore

p.s.
My wife says that "Admirals" are female,
"Commodores" are the male counterpart...

[weavis]

Think I will stay single until the Cat is purchased. After that, I will not mind some interior decoration implementations.

[Adelie]

Originally Posted by Seaworthy Lass

Sigh.... Yes, he does deserve it, if only for putting up with me .
I guess I should give in on that king sized island bed, but allocating him a little space for his tools seems a bit over the top.

If he's going to help with boat maintenance humor him. Otherwise set a strict limit.

[Greenhand]

He gets to decide when he comes and and when he goes. I tried to send him off to work a few times when was "helping" (aka, doing it wrong), but it seems he finds that offensive.

As for the tools:
-hair dryer: not only does it loosen things that don't want to budge, unlike a heat gun, you can hand it to your guests when they head to the showers
-iron: how else do you attach your patches?
-sewing machine: not everything can be fixed with a patch
-BUTANE BLOW TORCH oh, that isn't girly, is it? But I love it! I have many skills, but will get giddy if you invite me over to heat shrink your electrical connections or melt the ends of your rope.

[oldragbaggers]

After reading through this thread here is what I learned......

Zeehag is a crack up.

Seaworthy Lass is a crack up.

Weavis is a crack up.

We have quite a few other crack ups on here too.

Thanks for the laughs, folks.

(Lass....I would kill myself on those shoes on the left. I prefer these....

Keen Newport H2 Brindle/Orion Blue - Zappos.com Free Shipping BOTH Ways )

[IdoraKeeper]

Originally Posted by zeehag

kids, hell, the CAT wanted more room. he won.
i no longer stomp his tail when he eats...

as for tools. i have to buy all new, as some male with sticky paws manage to run off with almost all of mine..
okay....

Oy! Big fat lazy Boat kat! Makes all us men look bad...gets everything he wants and never lifts a finger. Pretends guard the boat is really having a nap.

[JPA Cate]

"
Big bed, just tell him it doesn't matter cause he'll have the same room as he does on a queen, you will just have more room on your side "

Right, must be a blond!

[carstenb]

Geez - such a bunch of wimps around here.

On my boat I'm the captain and I do exactly as I damn well please. And as soon as my wife tells what it is I please - I go do it.

I mean - how hard can it be?

Lassie - let him make the decisions on all the non-essential stuff - what color toilet paper etc. You should not let him get involved in the truly serious stuff like how much shoe storage is necessary.

A good suggestion earlier was that when you have meetings with the shipyard - bring along an ipad with some games on it - then he will be kept busy while you attend to the boat issues

[weavis]

As far as boats and tools.

Men HAVE to have whatever tools he desires. Even if it is only for one job.

wife: "honey the doobelfug is not working, can you look at it?"

man: "waste of time, I cant fix it."

wife: "why not?"

man: "remember that 1/2 ton workshop bench with vice and electric puller and built in stereo that you gave me the evil eye and said it was not a good idea and too expensive? Well thats the only thing that will fix the doobelflug."

wife: "oh.. well the bedroom door handle is coming off as well...."

man: " remember that 22 inch screwdriver with the unique cross head and patented orange handle? The one you said looked silly and not worth $80? guess what........."

wife: " I see"

Man spends the rest of the day wondering if he can ever attain 'husband' status again, and unnerved by the silence and fixed smile. The thought that he had gone a step too far was coming to the forefront.......

He did not sleep that night. Who would have thought two words "I see" could unsettle him.

[hoppy]

SWL he does not need to have any say about anything on the boat, you just need to let him believe he had a say.

If he suggests something that you already had decided on (chances are you said it to him already but our listening and memory are not good), praise him on the suggestion and let him "own" it.

Obviously you want to keep your bit of boat crumpet happy, so let him have a couple of his "toys" that don't compromise what you want in the boat yourself and again praise him for it.




Sent from my iPhone using Cruisers Sailing Forum

[Scrimshaw4]

When a couple is purchasing a boat I always suggest that they compile a 3 part list TOGETHER, but first they must BOTH AGREE on how the boat is going to be used. Part 1 is the Must have features, Part 2 is the NICE to have and Part 3 is the NO WAY on the boat features. It's similar to buying a home. Neither side can be dominant. Compromise (Win / Win) and affordability become the final deciding factor. JMHO

[captain58sailin]

The best way to handle the male types is: Pretend to listen to what he is saying and appear sympathetic, then go one with what ever you were doing, before he started squalling about what ever it was. You just have to treat us like babies only in a larger size class.