Fear and The Cruising Sailor

[forsailbyowner]

I've been to the edge too. Head injury and brain surgery. Once you face death what is there to be afraid of. Every day your here is a gift.enjoy it to the fullest possible and that doesn't include sweating things you can't control.

[off-the-grid]

Great thread!

I'd love to make it out to blue water some day and maybe even sail around the world. And of all the things to be afraid of, my biggest fear...rogue waves. Probably from seeing Perfect Storm too many times and watching too many Discovery specials. And I'm sure if a rogue wave doesn't get me then it will be mega tsunami.

I have a friend who's a diver and his biggest fear is sharks. He's never even seen one in the water, but he says that's all he thinks about when he's diving. Why? Jaws.

[Pblais]

I'm not sure I get the self belief idea. If you are arrogant enough, you don't fear anything. Fear is the anxiety of not knowing.

Sailing carries a great deal of not knowing compared to thinking you know, thinking you don't know, or being clueless. When placed in a situation where you may not know everything, is the issue what you know, why you know, or if you care? You can not care and be fearless and still be clueless. Dumb luck works for the few times it does. You can be clueless and not care. You can also be knowledgeable and scared. The decision between letting fear take over or doing the thing you know might be the whole issue.

It's less about if you are scared and more about if you can do something about it. Fear can bring paralysis. That is something that will kill you. You knew but couldn't do it is a serious problem.

So in a situation thats matters, not caring feels the same as being able to do something. Not knowing may not lead to being scared but the same end result. Remaining functional defines the difference. If you do the right thing and succeed then the reward is obvious. If you say you were scared after the fact is pointless. You were not in paralysis. Elevated stress is often a good thing. You just can't live long enough on it 24 x 7.

What you can say now as far as not being afraid has little to do with what you can do. In that light, preparation leads to knowing, and knowing leads to doing. Doing the best you can at the time required is the only thing you can ever hope to do. Your personal will can not make up the difference. You can do more than you think you can, but you can't do more than you know.

[Captain Bill]

I won't tell you that I've never been afraid, but I refuse to be so afraid of dying that I'm afraid to live. I know a lot of people who have missed a lot in life for just that reason.

[s/v Beth]

Paul, I think we are saying the same thing. If you can act, and act to the best of your knowledge with a situation, I think that you are without fear. Maybe it is without blind fear, or terrifying fear...call it what you will. Knowing that we work in a medium that is foreign to us (we are not fish, nor can we breath under water) we all accept that we could die. But if we use knowledge to carefully plan our journeys, to prepare for all types of situations, to learn all we can about ourselves and our boats before we go out-is this fear or respect?

[Pblais]

I won't tell you that I've never been afraid, but I refuse to be so afraid of dying that I'm afraid to live.

No one is afraid to live, but many are so afraid of the other that they don't accept what they need to do to live. If you can say you were so afraid that you did the right thing then the end justifies the means. Fear is that temporary moment where you can do the right thing because you believe, even though it seems worse than doing nothing.

The right thing to do is often something you actually know. Practice and experience makes that last moment easier. The question is, if you knew the right answer could you do it? Right now being cool and collected you say - Yes I could!

If you can say "Yes" right now, what is the difference when you have to say it, mean it, and have to really do it? That gap is about fear. Fear is the only reason you won't when you could have. Anxiety may mean it won't be easy.

Being doomed means you never knew. Sometimes you can be screwed - doomed. If you consider the idea of knowing and being unable, that may be worse than fear or doomed. Knowing the end just before the moment can be worse than having it happen at least for the instant in between. No one needs to be unknowing. We can all be more prepared. Confidence means you can when you have to even if if it's not right now.

[troymclure]

Fearless: Taking action without fear.

Courage: Having fear but still tacking action.

just saying. ^^

[Stillraining]

Originally Posted by s/v Beth

I would attack this a different way. What if we assumed that fear was unnecessary. It is true that I will not do certain things, like go out in a storm unclipped. But that is because I understand the high risk that poses to my life, and I would rather not die right now. And I do not believe I am just calling it a different name. Fear is emotion. Thought is not. We need to respect and understand the risks that life presents, but I don't fear the situation anymore than I fear the freeway. Fear causes us to loose life, and therefore should be removed from our souls.
No fear- a good slogan in my book.

This was my point exactly..there are those who obviously don't care...and don't listen to that inter voice..." hey you could die you idiot!"....that is not something to say is unnecessary..it is a normal and healthy thought process...one I had short circuited during a deep trial in my life...I was lucky to live through it...yes it was fun..was it was exhilarating...if you singal as i ended up being at that particular moment i guess its Ok to be somewhat selfish and cavalier with your live...after all the only ones i could have hurt by killing myself was ...mom, dad, sister, grand parents, uncles ants, close friends...ect ect...But hey it's your life live it right!?!?!?

Well its not just your life its a gift and there are some responsibility you have to others for it...sorry that's the way it is....suicide is the most selfish act a human can perform...I had a good friend do it ..he didn't ask my permission..and if I see him on the other side the first thing im going to do is smash his face in...the second thing Im going to do is give him a big hug.

[Guard Bum]

He without fear is insane, fear is healthy. As stated early, its how you handle the fear that is important. Don't confuse recklessness with courage.

[s/v Beth]

Originally Posted by Stillraining

Well its not just your life its a gift and there are some responsibility you have to others for it...sorry that's the way it is....suicide is the most selfish act a human can perform...I had a good friend do it ..he didn't ask my permission..and if I see him on the other side the first thing im going to do is smash his face in...the second thing Im going to do is give him a big hug.

Wow rain, that is deep. I think would trust you or Charile on my foredeck during a storm...but we would send you kids down below

[FSMike]

Nobody here gets out alive.
Once you accept that, go have some fun!

[Pblais]

Courage: Having fear but still tacking action.

Best shortest definition I can think of. It's easy to act when you believe. Being right is just the detail others evaluate after the fact. Action needs to be correct and while you may believe it, it may not be correct. That would be the definition of "Hell in a hand basket". When you prepare - you know!

[hpeer]

About a half hour ago I had a brilliant idea about something to contribute to this post.

Now it is gone, blank slate, nada.

I fear I am losing my mind!

[Stillraining]

Originally Posted by s/v Beth

Wow rain, that is deep. I think would trust you or Charile on my foredeck during a storm...but we would send you kids down below

Amen brother..sign me up...wish you could make it on the 13th..next time!

[IdoraKeeper]

Excellent posts guys, I knew I was in the right place when I signed up for this forum. I am an airline pilot by trade and am quite familiar with risk management and methods for dealing with sticky situations. Respect for the power of nature is required and attention to detail is mandatory, but nowhere in aviation is there the peace I find on the water.
Do you think installing in a dual Racor system is over the top?