Is There Such A Thing As The 'Sophomore Blues' In Cruising?

[monte]

A good article here
http://www.moq.org/forum/Pirsig/cruisingblues.html

[Hard Rock Candy]

I have a good friend who with his wife put all their time and money in their boat planning on being crusers. Everything seemed to be going well until his wife started feeling homesick. At least that is what he thought was happening. By this time they ad gone down to the San Blass Islands and he thought it was the best of times except for his wife having crying jags. They eventually headed home and when she got her next physical, she told the doctor about feeling so sad and down most of the time. It still hadn't gone away like she expected. They ran some extensive blood tests and determined that her depression was caused by some chemical imbalance. A couple months of experimental balancing and she has been a happy lady ever since. They are back down in Panama right now. Mac

[BentP]

My only true concern is to leave my 82 year old dad behind, when we take of this summer. I am sure he wants us to go, but still it is hard. The kids can take care of them selves now for a few years, no worries there.

[roland stockham]

When sailing you have the odd day when you feel down. On the bank you have the odd day when you feel up... Go do your favorite thing for a bit, the work will still be there when you get back

[Amapola]

1. No one can make you feel guilty except you.

2. We get overwhelmed when we have too many things on the to do list but when we leave the dock all of that disappears.

[anacapaisland42]

There are those who like to race
There are those who like to cruise
There are those who like to plan and dream
There are those who like to fix boats up
There are those who like to sit on boats watch the sunset with a sundowner

Etc

It doesn't matter what YOU like as long as YOU are doing it

My motto/question: "what is the difference between a hero and a sunk boat"
Answer: "5 minutes"
The 5 minutes you spent checking that hose, or thru hull, or line, etc

Bill

[Cadence]

Originally Posted by MarkJ

Families and friends can pile on the guilt trips. And it doesnt stop after a few years.
Now I have been out cruising for more than 6 years people have stopped... Namely because as soon as somone thries that crap on me I give them both barrels and dont talk to them for a year or two.

Its your life. Dont let others beat you into giving it up.

Maintenance etc.... Theres MANY boats here who do not enjoy their cruising because the NEVER cruise they just work like slaves on their boats. All day every day they do unnessecary bulltwaddle instead of going to the beach, reading a book, going to some local market just for fin, sightseeeing, touring, hanging out. Many never do that: they slave their guts out hour after hour, day after day until cruising is like a sentence forever to hell.

I do one hour work on the boat each week day.

The rest I do stuff all, get drunk, chat up chicks, LIVE LIFE.

Try it

Mark
PS I did not do my 1 hour work today. Shame on me!

Good advice Dr. Phil! I wasn't quite sure on the needy on the OP?

[FSMike]

Originally Posted by Cheechako

Chain broke off the sink plug? Uh oh... here goes another chain vs nylon debate!

LOL. My first thought was that if I had a chain break on my sink drain plug I would promptly throw the chain away so I would never have to fix it again.
It's a shame that attitude won't work with anchor chains.

Does anybody know how to put this into Latin?
"Don't let the maintenance wear you down".
That would make a good sailor's t-shirt.

[Cadence]

Originally Posted by FSMike

LOL. My first thought was that if I had a chain break on my sink drain plug I would promptly throw the chain away so I would never have to fix it again.
It's a shame that attitude won't work with anchor chains.

Does anybody know how to put this into Latin?
"Don't let the maintenance wear you down".
That would make a good sailor's t-shirt.

[zengirl]

Originally Posted by Jim Cate

Re guilt tripping from kids:

Try a thought experiment:

If you were suddenly incapacitated and required full time care, would your children step up and take on those duties, even if it meant giving up all their activities and dreams for themselves? Perhaps, but many would not. And that is what the guilt trippers are asking of you...

Chances are that you gave up much of your personal life for twenty odd years to launch your kids into adulthood... maybe even more. You have paid your dues and you get to have a life too. By all means, continue to be supportive to your kids... but this does not mean physical attendance, nor even financial support... rather, emotional support and perhaps advice on this or that. It doesn't include 24/7 babysitting!

You only have an unknown number of years left. Use them wisely!

Jim

Ditto on that. People think they owe their kids THEIR life. Wrong. You need to LIVE the life you chose. Be happy and confident in your choice.

[SmartMove]

Originally Posted by goboatingnow

keep going, its just a black day thing, next time you see a beautiful sunset or clink a few gins down with the better half, remind yourself how privileged you are and you are doing things that a tiny minority of people get the guts to do. Being different takes effort Im afraid, but the gains are enormous.

On your deathbed, your fondly remember the fantastic places you visited , the people you met and strength of your relationship. You'll never think about the money

dave

Hi Dave, you are right and the 'glass half full girl' showed up today and she is truly is embracing this life. It just been a weird year. The money isn't (thankfully) really an issue -- I just didn't expect to be spending money this year on the boat and as my hubby will confirm, I hate surprises!

Thanks, Robyn


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[SmartMove]

Originally Posted by Tayana42

Work through it. Don't accept guilt!!! Yeah, continued expenses you weren't expecting are a downer. We've had more than a few. But, I realize our boat is 25 years old so everything on it or in it that I haven't replaced is 25 years old (except me and my wife that is). So I have to expect issues and visits from that guy Murphy.

You can do it. The gain is so much more than the pain on most days. A good cry once in awhile isn't such a bad thing.


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Hi Tayana42, you are right about the Murphy thing. I think I was a little naive going into this year and the reality is most of the stuff was fixed within the first month. I guess I just thought we would splash the boat and everything would be perfect -- I'm a 'glass half full' kinda girls most of the time.

Thanks, Robyn


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[SmartMove]

Originally Posted by mike d.

Keep going and don't look back! Most of the time when others(family) make you feel selfish etc. It is because they are jealous! Only you can decide if it is worth it. Only you can tell if it is to much financially. You are doing what most only dream about, with their boats. If you let a small breakdown get to you, you need to take a deep breath, and say look how far you've made it, mostly on your own. Don't let some else take your dream away. You will regret it the rest of your life!!!! I can sympathize with things breaking, but with those things breaking and you doing your own repairs makes you dependent on no one!!!!!!

Mike D, you are a great cheerleader! I'm not giving up, it has just been a weird year and I was wondering if other people had similar experiences. I love this life and I am certainly not thinking about giving it up.

Thanks, Robyn


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[Captain Blue]

I was living on a sailboat for many years and then I was guilted into moving on land in a house . That was 10+ years ago. I have never been the same. I did not like my life, sure I would be on the water most every weekend and covering lots of miles. Nevertheless I got so depressed and did not even know it. I will never do that again. I have been working each and every day to get back to where I belong. I will soon be living on my third sailboat and will not let anyone talk me out of it or take it away from me. When living on a boat and heading down the boat ramp after work was like haven and being on vacation every day. Leaving every Friday after work and not coming back until Sunday night was who I was and more important then I had every expected. Taking all my vacations on the west coast up to Canada keeps me going until I retire. During my land time I have cried more then the normal man. The crying was from being removed from the water by people that said they love me. Now I know better. Jim Cate stated it correctly, your family will not be there when you are suddenly incapacitated. This I know as I work in a facility with 84 residents and there families never show up but maybe one time a year. Follow your dreams, have fun and forget the rest. Good luck

[SmartMove]

[QUOTE=sailorboy1;1741564]

Originally Posted by SmartMove

The other day the chain broke off the plug for the kitchen sink and it was nearly my undoing. I was so ready to sit down and just have a good cry, but I didn't I got my pliers I use for making jewelry and fixed it as best I could.



/QUOTE]



Go ahead and sit down and have the cry, ............................ then get back to work! No problem with that.

Sailorboy, I did get back to work and then we went sailing and everything was better!

Thanks for the support,
Robyn


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