The stupidest/funniest mistakes you've made?

[Adelie]

My stupidest mistake was marrying my first wife who really wasn’t into sailing. Actually there were a whole bunch of other problems between us but that’s the part that applies here.

[IanTrail]

Sounds like me - bin there, done that (too often)

[Lihuedooley77]

kinda along the same lines ....one of our sailing club members.....episode LOVE BOAT.

Skipper Studly Smooth, would check out one of our Sailing Club boats, generally one of the old Cal 25's. This would occur mostly on quiet week days and he would leave our docks solo.

He never sailed with his wife. This is not totally unusual as quite a few spouses, husbands, as well as wifes, do not share the same enthusiasm for sailing or boating.

However, when observed from other club boats, there were reports of two beings on Studly's boat. Of course this was dismissed as a ghostly illusion. Like the mysterious ladies who haunt light houses.

On a sunny wednesday afternoon, the Sailing Club received a phone call from the Harbor Patrol ( Harbies ). They had just retrieved one of our Cal 25's, from the rocky shoreline south of the Newport Bay Channel Entrance.

Aye, as you surmised, it was Studly Smooth. His story to the harbies was that he was just sailing along and decided to go below to fix a quick lunch. All of a sudden the boat was picked up by a nasty rouge wave and driven into the the shallows and between a couple of mean ol' rocks. Then the nice harbor dept rescue vessel arrived and pulled the now thumped and bumped Cal Boat off the shallows to the safety of deep water.

The Harbies had a different version.

Two local surfers we resting on their boards waiting for the next set when they watched a ghost ship Cal 25 , sails luffing and slatting and snapping heading toward them and the shore line. No one was on deck.

The Cal came closer and closer, wallowing on the seas, boom snapping from side to side and jib luffing and backwinding. Was it a ghost ship ?

The surfers paddled up along side, and peered over the cockpit combing and into the cabin. Down below two bodies were heavily involved. The ghostly creature was quite young and attractive and had real skin, dark hair and animal cravings.

A moment later, the situation became extremely interesting. A wave surfed the Cal, rolling and broaching and out of control toward the shore line. As the boat pounded about in the surf, the occupants bounced up to see what was happening,

Last time they checked , before heading below for hmmmmm.. .lunch, they were off the coast on the briney. Racing up on deck, they see the surfers, the rocks, the shore line, the cliffs and feel the boat being bashed by the waves.

Ooooops, back down below, after some rummaging about, Studly and his " cook" appeared on deck, this time in clothes.

What a surprise, Studly and his cook were certainly surprised, the surfers were surprised, , the harbies were surprised, and even the sailing club office was surprised.

LESSON: If you are going to fool around with apparitions, don't fix lunch off a lee shore.

I was on the docks when the owner of the sailing club approached on board our own motor rescue boat, towing the Cal side to. He released the lines and the now rudderless Cal 25, made it close to our fairway, and I was able to retrieve it an haul it in.

That was the last I heard of the incident, but when studly and the very, very young girl were standing on our docks. Not happy campers, and there was likely to be a pretty well P.O.'d wife, and parents of the young girl to vent their own vengeance.

Just another day and interesting sailing story about getting stupid.

[chris mac]

I did this exact thing at our first fuel up in the Bahamas. When neither engine would fire, I immediately jumped to the conclusion that the new deisel was so contaminated it fouled both engines imediately[emoji36] of course the line of other boats wanting fuel just added stress.
Much like you, my better half asked if the engine stop cable should be in.
They fired right up!

Originally Posted by Rubicon King

Well, newer sailor here. Was at a dock, the night before going in to get a bottom job accomplished. After a great /late dinner, I wanted to start the engine just to be sure we had not problems in the morning when we had to motor to the marina 3 miles away.

jumped in the center cockpit, hit the ignition and no start, tried again, no start. "hmmm, I must have air in the lines" I thought, as I had 55 gallons on board. went down below, checked for any obvious leaks (open lines) and found a small drip on the fuel filter.

No smells of diesel, but I thought it must be these pesky perkins engines. fast forward, after changing both the fuel filters, bleeding the engine twice at EVERY location, I still couldn't get this engine to start.. Exhausted and at 2 am, I sent a note to the marina saying that I would have to postpone my haulout and get my engine running.

I took a shower and retired to my aft cabin. The wife (bless her heart, as my trusty assistant this whole time consoled me and said it will be alright. I fell asleep in about 90 seconds. She woke me up about 3 mins later and said, "should the engine cutoff on the console be pulled up or seated back down when starting". DOH! Holy crap that was it. I rushed upstairs and pushed down the cutoff, and she fired right up. I think I heard the boat chuckle at me.

5 hours of pain and embarrassment for not following my checklist on engine starting. I am a pilot and know better. NEVER AGAIN. Needless to say, I crafted another message to the marina and made it there by 7am for the haulout. what an experience. I at least know how to effectively bleed my perkins 4.108

[carlosproa]

About 28 years ago I had a 1977 Turner designed Lancer 28 with 2 ft draft of long keel, a horrible windward performance, and very tender.
Anywho, my cousins fly into Miami to join me cross the Bahamas in December. Long story short, the provided forecast felt apart and a NE wind forced us to turn back to Miami due to massive waves. We made it back around 4 AM and dropped the hook at marine stadium in front of the rusty pelican. So since I was up for over 24 hours, I took a nap and my cousins decided to take the dinghy and ride around, they never told me, so when night came, this was Dec31st, we decided to take the dinghy to Bayside which is across 1 mile from where we anchored. back then Miami downtown was not too safe and drug addicts would steal anything. So big idea I had was to leave the oars in the sailboat and bring a lock for the engine. As we motored towards bayside the engine quit, there was no gas left in the build-in tank of the small engine.
It was 10 PM at night and the currents and win were taking us towards the Miami port where all the big container ships are docked. Is cold, no oars, we made a “paddle” out of coiled wire and a Publix bag. We finally were spotted by a shrimp boat and they gave us a ride to Bayside.
Next was how to buy gas as the marina was closed. We went to a gas station where tons of homeless gathered, bought a gallon of water, empty it and filled with 87 octane gas. Then walk the mile back to bayside and luckily we’re not stopped by the guards as we looked very suspicious.
After 20 years, I banned my cousins from being on any of the sailboats as they were magnets for plain bad luck. Every time they came aboard, something awful happened- never to be repeated until their next visit

[Dymaxion]

Friends old wooden boat, and two stories. On the hard readying for spring splash he's going to have his alternator out for refurb. I'm outside the boat, on a single plank strung between two step ladders about five feet above ground. He handed the alt over the side too me. The plank started to bow thoroughly, and as I tried to hand back the alt I realized I was dropping faster than I could reach up. The plank snapped a couple of feet above ground, dumping me flat still holding the alt.

Number two was stepping the mast. From a railway bridge... Using oak block and tackle that Admiral Nelson would have recognized, massive blocks, probably 20lbs each. My friend is on the bridge, tieing off the top block, then lowering the other down to me to hook onto the mast, solid wood, keel stepped. The boat is riding on its anchor, in the river current. Hoisting ensued, much cursing while trying to "thread the needle" through the cabin top. Suddenly large amounts of rope starts to coil onto the cabin top to a yell of look out below. I had time to put both hands over my head just as the top block smashed into the coiled rope and bounced overboard. The comment from above was " geez, good thing that rope was there, it would have gone right through the cabin top" We're still friends 40 years later. Luckily for me he's stopped sailing (sadly).

[svmariane]

Yeah, listen - don't repeat this to anyone 'cause I'll flat out deny I ever said it and call you a liar. But...

We're heading into the San Juan islands from the Seattle, Washington area. San Juan's are know for very strong tidal flows between the islands. We'd bought those "forever" tidal current charts plus the latest annual update. Cross reference, check, recheck, and determined best time of day to procede.

So. Heading westward(ish) for the passage between two islands. Angling along the southern side of one island with winds off the port bow and incoming tide. Wife takes bearings and goes below to plot our position on the sea chart, then starts making a meal we'll consume prior to entering the first channel. I'm on the helm, and I've picked out a distant shore-based thingy as a hard reference plus compass checks to verify course. Check the wind, the sails, the wave direction, compass course, the land target, other vessels, repeat.

Wife comes topside with the food. And immediately lays into me and orders a radical course change like RIGHT NOW. We were mere meters from shore.

Seems the helmsman (me, remember) paid a little too much attention to the channel entrance way up there and mostly forgot about tidal-induced lateral drift. Or to keep a good all-around lookout.

Honestly, I don't know how she's put up with me all these years.

[SFer]

Here's one that just happened this morning - so I guess it's never ending.

Was retrieving my boat from a canvas shop and was docking single handed, as I have done 50-60 times. When I stepped off the boat, it became clear the boat was in reverse, and began backing out of the slip. Tied it off quickly, which then made it pivot 90 degrees. Got back on, turned around and tried again by leaving the marina and turning around.

On coming back in the marina, I looked for my neighbor's boat ahead of me and couldn't spot it. Then realized I entered the wrong fairway. An all around great morning. I was going to take the boat out on my own today, but reconsidered given how the day started. Tomorrow is another day.

[sanibel sailor]

I am trying to build my dodger. I bought the bows used and they almost fit. I have made some adjustments and wanted to stop by the boat real quick early one Saturday morning on my way in to work to check the fit. It's only a mile or so out of the way on my way to work. I am due to perform surgery at 0730. Working Saturday morning because I am on call for the whole weekend. The boat was in a slip behind someone's home and had a narrow decrepit rickety catwalk for a finger pier. I am carrying the bows over my head so they clear the lifelines as I step down to the boat. As I make my long step from the dock to the boat, the back end of the bows catches the dock, halting my progress just shy of getting a foot aboard. I go in the water, bows in the water, fully clothed, wallet in pocket, phone in pocket. Hit the back of my head on the dock, scalp laceration (yes plenty of blood).
And just to piss me off more, no ladder to get out. I hoist, drag and scramble myself out, drag the bows back to the truck and drive to work. I walk in to the OR front desk, shoes squish squishing, a rag on my head to stanch the flow. I change to dry scrubs, freeballing commando style of course, and one of the nurses skin-glues my head back together. I talk to the patient's family hoping I don't look like I slept under a bridge and hoping they won't notice my dripping wet shoes or somewhat dishevelled appearance. I do the operation. Went fine. I didn't bleed on the poor patient. But I am on call for the rest of the weekend with a dead phone. At the time I had a bulletproof Kyocera brick phone I really liked. It had survived prior dunkings but did not survive this one. It was obsolete so I had picked up a spare for $5 or so on eBay. Went to the phone store to get it switched over but they could not do it as it didn't have one of these new fangled SIM cards. Had to upgrade to a new iPhone.

It was a good few days before I tried carrying that dodger frame aboard again and I was really careful after that.

[OloteleMtn]

Quite some time ago i bought a 20 foot power boat that ended up needing a LOT of work; I ended up gutting it, replacing the transom, rebuilding the helm, sponsons, replacing the engines and fuel tanks, the works. Life happened and i needed to sell it, right as I was finalizing the build. Time frames became very tight, and i ended up delivering the boat after dark....All was well until i put the boat in forward after launching to turn out....adding some throttle to counteract the wind, the throttle cable came unconnected, the boat leapt forward toward the rock jetty, I killed the engines, and the buyer had to fend off the jetty after a relatively small impact. To his credit, he did not hold it against me and he still bought the boat....that incident was was pretty mortifying, but funny in a comedy of errors sort of way.

[SailWYO]

Long time lurker, actually joined just to post in this thread.

Ive had my fair share of inconsequential mistakes that i cant remember most of then, like missing the dock and falling in the water between the boat and said dock, just the other day my buddy and I spent close to 3 hours trying to figure out why none of the existing wiring in the boat was working after installing some LED cockpit lights...we tried every combination of trouble shooting imaginable, they all led us astray....until i touched two wires to the top of the battery posts...not the connection points, and the literal bulb we were isolating came on.. We then guessed maybe it was too corroded. Cleaned off the connectors and terminals real good...and everything worked fine after that. Turned out the LEDs just drew so little that they worked fine but the existing incandescent bulbs wouldn't even light up.

My favorite one that I can recall...is when I ran into my own boat with my friends boat.


We were out sailing, i had my 22 and my friend had her 18' alpha cat. It was pretty calm at this point so my 22 was serving as the drinking barge. A friend and I hop onto the cat to take it for a rip. Shortly after the wind picked up. We were flying along, having a good time. We circle around and head back to my boat so I can take over on that one. We get fairly close, and then the wind shifts.

I go to jybe to come back towards my boat, with the intent to come along side briefly to jump on. There was a bit of confusion it takes longer than usual. By the time my buddy and i switch places, i toss the tiller to the other side and finally look under the boom (which was now blocking my view) I realize I am on a direct t-bone collision course with my own boat!

Holy ****, i throw the tiller to the side and release the main sheet, in an effort to turn parallel to my boat. All of this in full view of my 5 spectating friends sitting on the boat watching this catamaran missile barrel straight towards them.

I was able to turn away in time to only leave a few scratches and gouge in the gel coat in the side of my boat. No noticeable damage on the bow of the catamaran. After bouncing off my boat I circle back and give the cat back. whoops.



My other dumb mistake (involving crashing my own boat again...) was letting my gf (at the time) drive. I expected her to be able to handle taking my 22 off the dock just fine...since she had extensive experience crewing on large sailing schooners...not so apparently. After a shot of whiskey (just 1, this was not a drunk episode by any means) i say she should drive it off the dock, just to get a feel for it. no biggie. It has an outboard and a tiller, they are not connected. So you have to use them together or they will fight each other.

We are docked on the port side. I untie the lines, she gets it in reverse and leaves the dock. Some how at this point, she panics, hits the gas too hard, forgets to turn the outboard with the tiller, corrects too much, doesen't let off the gas, and manages to drive 270 degrees counterclockwise to put us on a direct collision course with the dock we just left (this was a remote dock on an island so nobody else around to damage).

It all kind of blurred together, but I think i ran aft, slammed the outboard into Neutral, and ran forward covering the whole length of the boat in about 3 steps, leapt over the bow railing and landed on the dock to try and push the boat away. it slid up the dock a little, but no real damage there either some how.

Guess ive gotten lucky hitting things...She did not take the boat off a dock again lol.

[fireant]

Here is one of my. My dad used to have a 1965 Richardson power boat. I were doing most of the repair on electrical and engine work.
Well I found some bad wiring that I had to trace and they went under the floor. I squeezed myself between the floor and the bilge laying on my back. it was so tight that I had to keep my arms above the head and work on the electrical mostly by feel with a tilt of my head.
boom the light bulb on the work light goes out and I'm in total dark. Don't want to work my way out from the bilge and then back in, I twist the old bulb out and pass it to my dad. I ask him to pass me a new bulb. He does but I cant see where to thread it back. with out thinking I use my finger to find the place where the new bulb goes in.
Im sure you all see where that goes. I get zapped hard feel my heart in my mouth. trigger the circuit breaker all the lights are out on the boat. I'm stuck under the floor my dad is laughing on top. He said as soon as he heard me yell and light are out he knew what I did.
I did put the light bulb in and done the repairs before I crawled out from under the floor. lesson learned UNPLUG THE ELECTRICAL ..

[Master56]

Probably not the stupidest thing but a recent very embarrassing thing. My partner and I had gone out to the Great Barrier Reef off Cairns Queensland Australia. My yacht was a Radford 14.8 fast cruiser, Australian design and built. The SE Trades were doing there thing at 25kts. Great sailing. Decided to head in from the reef and visit Green Island. I had only been there once before and anchored out wide that time. This time we decided to get in as close as possible and spied a Marine Parks mooring in a suitable spot close to a big fancy stink boat. I had the Avon in tow. After dropping the sails we motored in to the buoy putting on a very professional show of seamanship for the nobs in the powerboat who were sipping plonk and watching. My partner and first mate, who is quite a small person, hooked the big heavy mooring line and lifted it to the deck first try but didn't have enough strength to get the loop over the cleat. I motored windward a bit then made a dash to the bow to assist but as I got there a big gust came through and knocked the bow off-line and we started drifting back quickly. First mate nearly disappeared over the bow before letting go and I scurried back to the cockpit. I put the engine into gear stopping the backward drift and motored forward to the buoy again. I noticed we had overtaken the dinghy in our drift backwards but forgot I had a sinking line attached to it which was unusual. As I motored forward first mate yells, "watch the dinghy" but the wind blew her voice away, "what"!. "Watch the dinghy." "Yeah OK got it" I said with great confidence, just as the dinghy comes flying towards the side of the boat at a million miles per hour and at it collides with the side it does a nosedive towards the propellor. As the outboard came into sight above the rail there's a pop as the painter snaps. Off goes the dinghy propelled by the 25-30 knot wind. "Drop the anchor!" I yell as I shut down the engine knowing the painter is wrapped around the shaft and whatever else. As the pick grabs hold I gather my mask, snorkel, fins and a knife and prepare to jump over the side. In my embarrassment I glance towards the stink-boat and notice we have their full attention. "poo, bugger, bum, shame-job" I mumble to myself. Over the side I go and commence cutting the very good quality line off the prop shaft. After a minute or so I realise we are drifting so call for more scope on the anchor, "drop more beep beep chain, quick!". The drift stops and I spend several minutes cutting melted rope from the shaft and climb back aboard. I look out to sea and notice the dinghy has left the shoals and is heading into the wide blue yonder. I glance at the stink-boat and notice a couple of them aboard are looking in the direction of our dinghy, whilst continuing to sip wine, and the other two getting the boat underway. As they drop their buoy and turn around and head off I give them an embarrassed acknowledgement wave thinking they are going to retrieve our dinghy. However once clear of the shoals the big stink-boat turns left and powers off to Cairns as the Avon continues it fast drift. We subsequently retrieve our dinghy and moor the yacht without the slightest problem. A relaxing beer for me and a red wine for the mate was then in order before we motored ashore in our now very antifoul marked dinghy for an enjoyable evening on the island.

[Na Mara]

The stupidest thing to date was down to shear exhaustion.

We had a long trip to an anchorage with a really tonight cut into it. Came in fine and got anchored. I was bushed so hit the hay. The wife wakes me because we are dragging. Pull up the delta and find out the bottom is the softest of soft mud . We decide to leave whilst we can still navigate the cut in daylight. I very quickly bash together a passage plan for a marina about 5 hrs away. Toward the end of that passage my wife asks me why the next waypoint, which is only a cable or two off our bow at that point, is over a big rock ��!!!

Cue a very dramatic course correction with a rock looming out of the dark to starboard.

I rate that as more stupid than the time I hit a rock while cutting the corner on my plotted course due to failing to zoom in the plotter to a resolution that showed the offending rock. You sail as long as I have (nearly 40 yrs now) and you get to the point that it’s difficult to keep track of all the cockups and near misses.

[Enfant Du Vent]

Like the song says, Always Look On The Bright Side Of Life.
This is yet another variation on the “always set TWO anchors, in case the tide changes”.
My girlfriend and I were anchored in St. Augustine, FL on my 32' sloop, on the seaward side of the Lions Gate Bridge. Around 3 am an odd twang in the rigging woke me. The anchor had held when the tide changed to ebbing...but DIDN'T hold on the flood. So we were pinned against the bridge by a 2-3 kt current. I launched the dinghy, set an anchor 200' “upstream” of the bow; but that resulted in the stern scraping along the bridge as I winched in. So....rowed out an anchor for the stern too. Rather wearily, I climbed back on board and was getting ready to winch the stern anchor when my girlfriend said cheerfully, “Well, it could have been worse.” “Oh?, How?” “Well it could have been my boat.” (She owned her own boat back in Toronto.)
The next morning, another yachtie said he'd woken up during the night, seen our predicament and started over to help. “Then I heard you both laughing, and figured things were okay.”