The 2021 -2024 and Continuing Joke Threads

[GordMay]

[GordMay]

[Sand crab]

​
What's the difference between a chickpea and a kidney bean?
Donald Trump has never paid more to have a kidney bean on his face.
​

[Sand crab]

We need Will Smith now more than ever! This is in LA but should be Ukraine street art.

[GordMay]

Q: What’s Ukraine’s biggest import?
A: The Russian military.


Q: What’s the scariest thing about World War Three starting?
A: This time, the Germans are on our side, and they've never won a World War yet.


Two young Russian conscripts in Ukraine approach a platoon of Ukranian fighters to surrender.
They approach with their hands in the air, and their weapons holstered.
"We come to surrender. Our truck is out of fuel and broken down. The rest of our troops are miles away, and none of the gas trucks or repair technicians will be available for days. We are stranded."
The Ukrainian fighters take them into captivity and have them call their parents while they go out to inspect the truck that the Russians had abandoned.

They come back and tell the Russians what they found.
"Well, your truck was out of fuel and broken down just like you said. We found leaks in your gas tank and a leaking fuel line. The timing belt was snapped, the oil was empty from a puncture in the reservoir, the engine had stalled from said lack of oil, and the radiator was cracked"

"Wait a second" interjected one Russian soldier. "Did you say the Radiator was cracked?"
"Well, yes." replied the mechanic.

"Huh. I don't remember doing that."

[centaur114]

Originally Posted by SailRN

Authorities Horrified At Woman Who Killed Baby With Meth Instead Of Traditional Brain-Sucking Device

Attachment 257595

Y’all realize this is from the Babylon Bee, right?

https://babylonbee.com/news/authorit...sucking-device

[Pelagic]

Originally Posted by sv_pelagia

Didn't know plumbers did this sort of testing...

I thing that's why they call it the plumber's crack

[SailRN]

Originally Posted by GordMay

Ha, at least they won't have to worry about the East River, until it's so full of cement shoes it'll have to be dredged...

[toddster8]

Originally Posted by sv_pelagia

Didn't know plumbers did this sort of testing...

PSA: This is a joke, but not in a good way. I can’t even count how many of these “wipes” I have tested so that they can use certain words on their labels. It literally paid for my boat. In a fungible way.

There is an ASTM Certification Standard for “flushability.” Who makes up ASTM Standards? A self-appointed committee from the industry in question. Flushability mean nothing. These things go through a toilet, but they still end up clogging up pipes on the way to and at the sewage treatment plant. Many of them are “biodegradable.” But that takes time. In reality, workers have to clean them out of clogged-up “rag pickers” at the plant, or blocked mains, and put them in a dumpster. Which you should have done in the first place.

[Buzzman]

Originally Posted by toddster8

PSA: This is a joke, but not in a good way. I can’t even count how many of these “wipes” I have tested so that they can use certain words on their labels. It literally paid for my boat. In a fungible way.

There is an ASTM Certification Standard for “flushability.” Who makes up ASTM Standards? A self-appointed committee from the industry in question. Flushability mean nothing. These things go through a toilet, but they still end up clogging up pipes on the way to and at the sewage treatment plant. Many of them are “biodegradable.” But that takes time. In reality, workers have to clean them out of clogged-up “rag pickers” at the plant, or blocked mains, and put them in a dumpster. Which you should have done in the first place.

No. NOT in the dumpster. Leave them on the shelf in the store. Eventually the makers will realise no-pne needs/wants their crap product.

Actually, this is a good case for govt regulation gone wrong. These should NOT be allowed to be made, at all..!!

Then the dumb arses who are sucked in by advertising, and can't see past their own noses, would not be able to even buy them, never mind flush them down the sewer...!

Humans are fundamentally stupid at times, I find....

[Sailor_Al]

Where is the like button.

[Buzzman]

Here ya go....

[Adelie]

Originally Posted by Sailor_Al

Where is the like button.

There is no Like. There is a Thanks button bottom right of every post.

[Uncle Bob]

Originally Posted by centaur114

Y’all realize this is from the Babylon Bee, right?

https://babylonbee.com/news/authorit...sucking-device

You do realise that this is the joke thread, right?
The source of the joke is irrelevant.

[BilgeRat]

Once upon a time in America….

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