Why do so many people think cruising must be forever?

[Cthoops]

I’ve been on this forum for several years, long before we left to go cruising. It always baffles me when I frequently read comments or threads that imply (or outright state) that people who stop cruising are quitters.

Where is it written that cruising has to be forever? Why does there need to be an analysis of the reasons why people stop? People stop doing everything eventually - including breathing. There is nothing wrong with deciding to move on after a few months, a few years, a few decades. No one is a quitter when they do. Yes, technically they meet the definition of “quitting” something, but I’m talking about the negative spirit of the word that is meant in these threads.

Is it because non-cruisers live vicariously through cruisers and simply don’t want them to stop? All I know is I’ve never met an actual cruiser that would imply another one is “quitting” when they make the decision to stop. Cruising provides a wide variety of experiences while necessarily not being able to participate in other experiences. Sometimes it’s just time to do something different, for whatever reason. There’s nothing wrong with that.

[S/V Illusion]

Consider this forum a form of entertainment; nothing more. It seems clear from many comments in that thread that people really have no clue and have opinions based on perception rather than either experience or reality.

[Cthoops]

Originally Posted by S/V Illusion

Consider this forum a form of entertainment; nothing more. It seems clear from many comments in that thread that people really have no clue and have opinions based on perception rather than either experience or reality.

That’s an excellent point, and is probably the best answer.

[Ryban]

I think it's the latter, especially as a former YouTube sailor -- it really does feel like you're letting everyone down when you tie up the lines. Like anything you enjoy, that becomes an integral part of your routine or life, it's bitter sweet to see it end.

I don't think most reasonable people/cruisers expect people to do it indefinitely nor shun them for not. Those that do have an unhealthy relationship/expectation with the lifestyle or the people they follow.

[JPA Cate]

Like many things, it's complex. When your friends decide to sail away from you, you may feel sad, feeling you're unlikely to see them again, and you've enjoyed their company. It isn't that they're quitting, but you're left behind. Or you might feel they're leaving is diminishing your lifestyle. I've felt both of those, even when the friends were just going on to complete a circumnavigation, or take up something other than cruising, let alone when someone dies and you grieve their death.

Another factor is that people who are younger have no real way of relating to what happens as one ages: for years, everything seems open ended, and they're not really interested. At some point, the penny drops and you know deep inside that you and your partner (if you have one) are coming to the end of the road. If your commitment to them is strong, you may be unwilling to leave them voluntarily, and that can also put an end to your cruising time.

The presence of social media also has had an effect that we've observed: the cruisers of the year (this years "class" to cross the pond) tend to be bonded to one another, and less interested in the people of the countries they visit, and somehow, less empathetic, as well. I really don't understand this, but we were cruising the year it first happened, it was a step-change, the locals talked to us about it, and the trend has continued. There are older, more wealthy and less experienced cruisers out there, and they are also less self-reliant, and perhaps, less likely to continue for many years.

Ann

[Mike OReilly]

I guess I've missed this accusational tone Cthoops -- or maybe I am just oblivious about these sorts of things. My partner certainly tells me I am .

I know there's a current, and rather long-running thread, posing the question: Why do cruisers quit cruising? Is this what's prompted your thread? I don't recall reading that people are being negative. But it's a natural curiosity, especially for those who may be early in their cruising life.

As for me, I stand by my first post in that thread, posted on December 16, 2022:

"I tend to go with the Pardey view: Keep going as long as it’s still fun.

From my perspective, it matters as to why one gets into cruising. For me (and my partner), it’s not about circumnavigating, or indeed, going anywhere in particular. It’s about learning, freedom and adventure. It’s a lifestyle that lets us live simpler, inexpensively and with a lighter touch.

I’m quite sure we will move on to something else at some point, but for now, our hybrid cruising life* is still fun.

* We’re on the boat for about 1/2 of the year. The other half we do other things; mostly house sitting. "

[Kettlewell]

I don't think anyone actually cruising thinks it must be forever, plus there are different definitions of "cruising." For me, I like just messing around in boats so much that I plan on doing it as long as I am able healthwise. But, that doesn't mean I will be on the boat fulltime. Right now I have two aged parents that require lots of care, so I can't go away for long. Frankly, I think this forum has lots of great information available. From what little I watch on YouTube it is more on the entertainment end of things, with some useful information too. Many YouTubers seem to be trying to make a buck doing it. I know some of them a bit and they are very conscious of building their channel, attracting sponsors, attracting patreons, not offending anyone, painting yourself as an expert, etc., where on here you get lots of advice freely given with no expectation of rewards. Makes the conversation much more honest. In any case, I don't care in the least what anyone else's expectations are for me or what I do.

[sailorboy1]

Originally Posted by Cthoops

Sometimes it’s just time to do something different, for whatever reason.

SHUT UP YOU QUITTING FAILURE!!!:banghead


And before someone gets bent out shape and I get warnings and other BS CThoops and I know each other well and in person and have drank MANY a Bahama Momma and other brain cell destroying drinks together and I very seriously doubt she reads this as my being "mean"

[GordMay]

The bad news is: nothing lasts forever,
The good news is: nothing lasts forever.
Except, maybe, the certainty of change.

[GordMay]

On the theme of: “Nothing is forever”
For those, who want to live forever; or die trying.


A team of researchers, from Sweden, studied the biomarkers in blood, from 44,000 individuals, over the age of 64, including about 1,200 people, who were at least 100 years old.
The study [1], published in GeroScience, examined the largest dataset of individuals, to date, in order to be able to contrast the long-lived, against their shorter-lived peers.

They found discrepancies.

They found that: differences in biomarker values, between centenarians and non-centenarians, more than one decade prior to death, suggest that genetic, and/or [possibly modifiable] lifestyle factors, reflected in these biomarker levels, may play an important role for exceptional longevity.

People, reaching their 100th birthday, tended to have lower levels of glucose, creatinine, and uric acid, from their 60s onward. And, uniquely enough, “centenarians overall displayed rather homogenous biomarker profiles” without extremely high or low values.

Higher levels of total cholesterol and iron, and lower levels of glucose, gamma-glutamyl transferase, alkaline phosphatase, lactate dehydrogenase, and total iron-binding capacity, were associated with reaching 100 years,” the authors wrote. [1]


In short, limit the sugar consumption, and take care of your liver and kidneys. The older you get [closer to eternity], the more important this advice may become.

[1] “Blood biomarker profiles and exceptional longevity: comparison of centenarians and non-centenarians in a 35-year follow-up of the Swedish AMORIS cohort” ~ by Shunsuke Murata et al
➥ https://link.springer.com/article/10...57-023-00936-w

God boomed, "Adam, this is Eve!! You are to love her forever!"
Adam replied, "Okay, but who is he?”, pointing...
God shrugged and muttered...
"Oh, that's Keith Richards. He was here when I arrived."

[OldManMirage]

Gord has it right -

The only thing you can be certain of...is change !

[thomm225]

It's mostly those that are new to cruising that think that. And they sometimes get backing from the old folks here on CF that have cruised in the past.

I have argued on here for years that you will get tired of it.

When you sell your home with the idea of starting the cruising life, you think this is it. It will last forever.

This is one lesson you can learn by cruising locally.

You don't have to sell your home and buy a $100K-$250K boat to learn this. Or even a $25K-$50K boat.

You don't have to cross an ocean or have that "Sail Round the World Dream," or sail to the Bahamas and sit at anchor for a month.

I have seen it time and time again especially when I lived in Pensacola and here on CF.

Some I knew there in Pensacola actually had experience and a boat then retired to the cruising life. One couple lasted 6 months on their Catalina 36.

Another guy (Tayana 37) sailed to Tampa from Pensacola and he was done with distance sailing. He was gone about a month, and when he came back was drinking again after being off the stuff for years. He had planned this for years even selling his Cape Dory 30 for a larger "cruising boat" before he left.

He sailed back, got his old slip back, and had his stories to tell. The thing he did though was sell all his land possessions like his car, furniture, etc. and quit his job.

Most times the cruising life will last 5-10 years these days. It appears that those that started back in the day say 1980's- 1990's and earlier lasted longer.

Not sure if this has to do with the internet or what.

I learned the lesson when I moved back to the coast from Tennessee after being gone 20 years.

When I got to Pensacola with my two Beach cats I thought I was in heaven and would never want to do anything else. I sailed and race constantly and live at an Apartment about 150' from the water.

After 5 years or so, the newness started to where off and I found that I stopped the day sailing and just did rather hard core racing.

The first 5 years was beach bars, day sailing, racing, women (I was single again also), and just enjoying the coastal life.

After 5 years, I moved to an apartment closer to the college for my son.

Also, after 8-9 Hurricanes, the Florida Coastal living was getting a bit old. In 2004, we had a Cat 3/4 (Ivan) and had no power for a couple weeks. 14'-18' surge. There was a curfew also.

Another lesson I received in Pensacola was from the cruising sailors at our Apartment which had a dock. They loved cruising but also knew the hardships of it and told stories about it as we drank and looked over all boats at the dock.

After 10 years on the coast, I sold my last two beach cats and switched to cycling long distance with the local cycling club.

This in 2006. Around 2008 I was relocated back home here in Virginia on the Chesapeake Bay and decided to buy an old cruising boat a few years later to see if I could adjust to slow boat sailing.

I'm still working on that after 12 sailing seasons/12 years.

One thing that has changed though is that I sort of enjoy working on my boat as in bottom painting, topside painting, solar, interior paint, replacing old cabin lamps, and building my own chart plotters etc. using OpenCPN, upgrading sails, replacing worn out dodgers, mainsail covers, upgrading anchors, etc.

Plus with cruising on a slow boat you quickly learn you can't run and hide from weather even when just 20 miles from home. When you get caught in some pretty strong winds and squalls, you have to deal with it no matter that you are tired and ready to be home and off the boat. No matter if your plan had you home 2 days earlier but due to weather you were stuck.

Sometimes this means being stuck at anchor which is the worst until you learn to somewhat enjoy it. It's always better looking back on it than when it's actually happening.

[thomm225]

I think a good lesson for anyone that thinks they would enjoy the cruising life is to do a few 100 mile sails/races first maybe without an autopilot.

I did 6 of these on beach cats, and at the helm constantly on each the entire time.

It was a yearly event this 100 mile Round the Island Race starting in Ft. Walton Beach, FL in the 1990's when I arrived on the Gulf Coast.

First time I saw a spinnaker on a beach cat was in 1995 at this event.

The start was always at 0700.

The fastest I completed the race was in 12 hours, but on two different occasions it took 20 hours.

On these races, you get in at 3 am and have to get the sails down and stowed and get the boat pulled up above the high water mark.

You are wet and covered with salt.

And you are quite tired since it wasn't a cruise but a race where you are trimming sails etc. the entire time.

The good news was after a quick hot shower you could head over to the Waffle House for a huge Breakfast that is after a few beers.

[CaptTom]

There are many reasons people are drawn to boating.

Some are attracted to adventure. They often develop a "been there, done that" attitude after a few years and move on to other challenges.

Others have what I call the "Jed Clampett" attitude. They achieve a certain financial status and "folks all say" they should get a boat. These boats generally are used mostly as status symbols or for entertaining. Again, it can get old quickly.

Finally, there are those for whom it's in their blood. They've always owned boats, and always will. They might be full-time cruisers or weekend warriors. If you're not one of them, I can't explain it. If you are, I don't have to.

Regardless of which group you're in, it's sad to see someone leave.

[rslifkin]

I think Thomm is hinting at something that knocks quite a few people out of cruising (or boating in general). Certain things (such as going slow all the time) may sound good, but for some people, the reality of experiencing it isn't quite the same. Some people may like the lifestyle and the better parts of it, but can't handle the more challenging situations and get driven away by them. So it's not necessarily a bad idea to get exposure to some of those more challenging situations before diving in.