Why do cruisers quit cruising?

[MVDarlin]

I had a "Why am I doing this?" moment this year. A hurricane passed near my bost on the Baja and trashed the canvas, broke a window and thoroughly upset my deck storage. 100 mph wind blown water invaded every orifice, tool box and storage bin I was initially overwhelmed by the anticipated work needed to get back on the water. After five weeks on the hard It looks like I will return to the water next week with many upgrades and nagging problems resolved. My observation: Many folks decide they no longer want to deal with boat maintenance commitments and expense.

I now feel much better with the work behind me. Oh, and you can't just decide to pay others to do the work. For many items it is not practical to try and have someone else fix it, especially if it requires your level of knowledge about the boat. I have often hired soneone to do something and regretted it when I had to finish or redo the job nyself. Fortunately my boat responds well to a little TLC and rewards my efforts.
MVDarlin

[Jim Cate]

^^^^^

Good One MVD! How refreshing to hear such a story, sans whining and boo-hooing. Happy trails for the new year's cruising.

Jim

[JPA Cate]

Y'know, it is a big ask to ask your woman of x years to go off and give up everything she planned on for her retirement years, including meaningful relationships with grandchildren. Imagine if the shoe were on the other foot. I think it may be harder for women of a certain age than it is guys. Unless she has always been "outdoorsy", she will get out of shape, you'll be doing most of the sailing, and she'll be reluctant crew. There is a "princess" type, who would like to show off her body on the foredeck, but rather that you took her out to dinner at the end of the day. People's personalities have a lot to do with their cruising outcomes.

I won't write today about the need for your sailing and cruising to be fun for her. The two you have either figured it out, or not. But for those of you getting started, or in the mid phases, do make sure she doesn't have to be seasick, and do make sure she knows as much as she is willing to learn about sailing the boat. I love the freedom to be in charge during Jim's off watch. I like my long watches, and I love watching the day come alive at sea.

Ann

[hpeer]

I experience a certain anxiety.
When getting read to depart.
And upon landing at a port.

Dealing with it ATM, having been in St Martin 6 weeks, the trip to Antigua unnerves us. Need to force myself through these periods, and do because experience has taught me the anxiety is a transitory event that goes away at sea. But it can take some considerable effort.

Easy to imagine this could be a show stopper for many.

[malbert73]

I think some think of cruising as “all or nothing” which perhaps only works for a small minority. In addition jumping straight into a circumnavigation style cruise can be a lot.
I think a better plan for many is to jump in part-time and learn. Especially learning one’s boat and fixing things so it’s more reliable. Some will get ambitious and want to sell everything and cross oceans. But some will realize they like day hops or short passages and there’s enough of that to fill years. And what’s wrong with cruising for a few months then returning to land for some time? Allows one to appreciate benefits of cruising without burnout.

[hpeer]

Malbert,

Very astute post. I agree with all of that.

I would and one more item: boat pride. The lower your standards the higher the chance of meeting them. I don’t mean safety issues but cosmetics. I think sone folks burn themselves out trying to keep the boat “perfect” or near some level of appearance than is needed. A lot of filks with ling miles have boats that look sorta well used, and they are. That very high level of polish takes a good commitment of time and energy. Let it go and sail the boat.

Perhaps they can not “let it go” because they need to sell the boat at some point. We sail an old cheap to buy boat. And enjoy it. But we could srand to loose the value.

[Mike OReilly]

Originally Posted by malbert73

I think some think of cruising as “all or nothing” which perhaps only works for a small minority. In addition jumping straight into a circumnavigation style cruise can be a lot.

Agreed. This is why I always recommend that people start slowly, and develop the skills needed to be successful. It took me and my spouse over a decade of local cruising before we finally cut our land ties and sailed off.

Since 2015 we've called our boat our home, but we only live on it about 1/2 the year. We've staying in the NE (currently Newfoundland), where wintering on board is not easily done. So we're on board for about 6 months, and then we do other things for the rest of the year. It' keeps our lives varied and connected to friends and family.

Originally Posted by hpeer

I would and one more item: boat pride. The lower your standards the higher the chance of meeting them. I don’t mean safety issues but cosmetics. I think sone folks burn themselves out trying to keep the boat “perfect” or near some level of appearance than is needed.

Thank H. You sure make me feel better about "letting it go."

[LakeSuperior]

Originally Posted by hpeer

Malbert,

Very astute post. I agree with all of that.

I would and one more item: boat pride. The lower your standards the higher the chance of meeting them. I don’t mean safety issues but cosmetics. I think sone folks burn themselves out trying to keep the boat “perfect” or near some level of appearance than is needed. A lot of filks with ling miles have boats that look sorta well used, and they are. That very high level of polish takes a good commitment of time and energy. Let it go and sail the boat.

Perhaps they can not “let it go” because they need to sell the boat at some point. We sail an old cheap to buy boat. And enjoy it. But we could srand to loose the value.

If you're living onboard 24/7 how hard is it to do something every day so that the boat is not only well maintained but looks well maintained. I mean geeze, what do you do all day, especially while in a port? One hour of waxing in the morning every day would prevent becoming a eyesore.

[Mike OReilly]

Originally Posted by LakeSuperior

If you're living onboard 24/7 how hard is it to do something every day so that the boat is not only well maintained but looks well maintained. I mean geeze, what do you do all day, especially while in a port? One hour of waxing in the morning every day would prevent becoming a eyesore.

Waxing ? Maybe some varnishing -- on occasion

[thomm225]

Originally Posted by LakeSuperior

If you're living onboard 24/7 how hard is it to do something every day so that the boat is not only well maintained but looks well maintained. I mean geeze, what do you do all day, especially while in a port? One hour of waxing in the morning every day would prevent becoming a eyesore.

Who cares what it looks like as long as the systems work.

I see to many "sailors?" polishing their bright work, having the hull waxed, and curling their lines in those little circles etc.

For what?

On my new boats, I wasn't able to relax until I got the first scratch or ding in the Gelcoat.

As a racer, it's going to happen.

On this Bristol 27 I have now, it just doesn't matter.

If I want it to look better, I throw a little paint on it every now and then

[Benz]

I try to keep my boat nice-looking, and wax the hull from time to time. Also scrub the waterline and keep the decks uncluttered.
Since I dislike eyesores, I try not to become one, and while my boat has grey wood and green bronze, since I refuse to varnish or polish, it still looks well-cared for.

[thomm225]

Sometimes my boat looks good, sometimes not.

Either way, I don't usually worry about it too much as long as everything is functioning properly, everything nice and neat, and in good order

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q3I2zc0_7wY

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uWwQ4iUfiyM

[Jim Cate]

Who cares what it looks like as long as the systems work.

Well, Thomm, it appears that a lot of sailors do care about appearance of their boats. Mocking them does you no favors.

My observation is that maintaining a modicum of eyewash often reflects a similar level of maintenance in the critical systems of a cruising yacht. Obsessive polishing isn't indicative of similar maintenance below decks, but I believe that real neglect of appearance is often associated with neglect of critical parts of a yacht. As an example, your disdain expressed above for keeping things nice looking seems in character with your putting off replacing your aged rigging... something you have mentioned several times here on CF.

Each of us chooses how to divide up our time and energy with respect to our boats. I like to think that Ann and I have made a good compromise between polish above decks and maintenance of systems aloft and alow. Others choose differently, and that's ok with me... don't need to look at them if I find their appearance to be ugly and I can admire pristine and uncluttered vessels when they anchor nearby.

Jim

[Chotu]

I also prefer to keep a boat looking in fairly Bristol condition.

It’s not so much for myself, as it is for others actually. It really changes the way others treat you on the water.

If you exhibit a degree of professionalism on the water, it comes back to you tenfold in the way you are treated.

[Benz]

Originally Posted by Chotu

I also prefer to keep a boat looking in fairly Bristol condition.

It’s not so much for myself, as it is for others actually. It really changes the way others treat you on the water.

If you exhibit a degree of professionalism on the water, it comes back to you tenfold in the way you are treated.

100% agree.