Taking a Friend Along Who Has 'Lots of Experience'

[Solitude]

I don't throw lines to someone on the dock I don't know. I've had people grab a line and pull like hell ramming the bow into the dock.

Too many people on docks are just tourists thinking they are giving you a hand.

[fishwife]

It's a bit off the OP's original post but, this thing where some guys can't seem to accept that women can be good sailors really winds me up at times. We arrived back in the UK ten days ago after getting beat up in the Bay of Biscay, chewed up in the Western Approaches and rained on for 26 hours were the visibility was less than 30 yards. We needed a nice friendly marina with some hot food. I got on the VHF to find a berth and the marina operator wants to talk to my husband. Grrr. When he found out that there were no men, just two women on board, he started telling me that it was 'windy' and actually asked if I was sure I could handle the boat. Then he had the nerve to tell me that he'd only let me have a berth if one of his staff could meet us in the fairway and dock the boat. We went elsewhere.

P.

[Joli]

I've sailed with alot of people. I've pretty much reached the point that unless I know them and have a few miles with them I don't trust them. Not saying I don't like them or respect them but I don't tust what they might do on the boat.

Miss Fish you would get along fine with Mrs Joli. Here she is driving north in the skinny channel.

Originally Posted by fishwife

It's a bit off the OP's original post but, this thing where some guys can't seem to accept that women can be good sailors really winds me up at times. We arrived back in the UK ten days ago after getting beat up in the Bay of Biscay, chewed up in the Western Approaches and rained on for 26 hours were the visibility was less than 30 yards. We needed a nice friendly marina with some hot food. I got on the VHF to find a berth and the marina operator wants to talk to my husband. Grrr. When he found out that there were no men, just two women on board, he started telling me that it was 'windy' and actually asked if I was sure I could handle the boat. Then he had the nerve to tell me that he'd only let me have a berth if one of his staff could meet us in the fairway and dock the boat. We went elsewhere.

P.

[zydecotoad]

Originally Posted by MarkJ

Yes, Sweetsailing, we find that any guys on the boat try to help Nicolle, especially with lines... She might look female... and even at times looks young and dumb but she is really better working with me as a team than anyone else.
They may all be fine on a boat, but Nic is better on ours.

You know, they might just be trying to hit on her


Anyway, you gotta have an 'interview' period before trusting people out of your sight. I used to do a lot of rock climbing and kayaking trips on my own. You had to find partners and quick determine if you wanted to actually spend time with them. I never had any trouble, but I did avoid a few people.

Originally Posted by MarkJ

Visitors should just sit and watch

It would be pretty boring to go for a sail with you then. I like to participate when on a sailboat. Under direction of course.

[glensail]

"We went elsewhere."
GOOD. Guess the guys forgot about that liitle brit (woman) who did the transat..and won!! tks for the post. Glenn

[s/v Beth]

Because it can be inserted here, I will share the best story I have ever heard on CF:
Gentleman ( not so gentle) with his new 36' powerboat coming slowly onto a wall. He thinks that it is time for his wife to jump to the wall to control the boat ( with a bow line no less) and starts yelling to her to JUMP! She looks at him with one of those deer in a headlights looks, he keeps YELLING to her to jump. Finally, after a bit more yelling she jumps, is too far from the wall to make it, and falls into the cold spring water. She held onto the line, used it while getting her bearings and finding a ladder. She climbed out of the water, shook herself off, flipped off her husband, walked toward the parking lot, and has never been seen at the marina again. That boat did not get much use and was sold.
Now I have heard so many versions and laughed so many times at that story I do not know if it is true or not- but it illustrates what you are saying...
Anyone can be the SOB....and if you don't know what you are doing- please don't buy the boat.

[Stillraining]

Originally Posted by s/v Beth

Anyone can be the SOB....and if you don't know what you are doing- please don't buy the boat.

Now ya tell me...

[goboatingnow]

(Standard orders on our boat, regardless of who is handling dock lines: Do not throw lines to potential helpers on the dock until the vessel has come to a complete stop. The more they yell that you should throw the lines while the boat is still moving, the less inclined you should be to accept their help.)

A"bloddy" men. I trained the kids to do this, you should see docksiders bursting veins to get the kids to throw the line. all they would do is look at me for orders. Nothing worse then being pined to the dock and then get ordered about when you try to extract yourself.

[David_Old_Jersey]

I don't see bad crew here, mostly bad Skippers

Your boat so your responsibility to ensure crew know exactly what you expect them to do, how to do it and when (and also what not to do, when not to do it and how not to do it ) - can't express surprise if expecting folk to simply "get on with it" and things don't go as wanted / well. The more experiance the crew has simply the less crew training you need to do on your boat - probably but the requirement is never none.

How building a crew is done varies amongst Skippers, from Capt Bligh to Jack Sparrow .........but 1 thing the same, crew not mind readers

[Stillraining]

Originally Posted by YourOldNemesis

It's not just crew who don't know what they're doing. To give you the opposite side, I sailed on 9 different private sailing boats working passages from Europe to NZ as unpaid crew. Being aware of the fact I'd be at the mercy of the skippers, I did plenty of courses and got as much experience as possible before I left. On the Atlantic crossing the boat (80ft):

1) Took on enough water that it took 24hrs for an electric pump to get rid of it.
2) Broke 5 halyards due to poor maintenance/no preparation and thus dropped many sails in the sea.
3) Broke a roller furler due to poor maintenance leaving us in 35kts of wind and atlantic swell in the middle of the night with an hourglass shaped foresail half up and half down
4) We were boarded by refugees of Cape Verde
OK so the boarding wasn't the skipper's fault but everything else was.

The next boat I was on was infested with cockroaches. We set off from Trinidad heading north straight for Grenada, of course we got pushed so far west that the trip took twice as long as it should have and we totally missed Christmas day. When I got to have a look at the charts the skipper was 'using' it turned out the only one he'd got was a passage planning chart for all the windward islands. He had an autopilot that he didn't know how to use and we almost lost him overboard in a squall. As we pulled in to Georgetown harbour he revealed to me that the engine 'wasn't working properly' and hadn't been for a while so I got him out of the harbour and motored in circles until I established a jury-rig for gear selection then took us in. He couldn't get us anywhere near the mooring buoy so in the end I did it having to leave the helm and dash below to change between fwd and reverse with him out of harm's way up the bow. I spent 2 days rebuilding the cable-controls and throttle/gear selector.

When we sailed up to Union Island we had to motor the last few miles and the temp on the gauge kept rising, he said it 'always did that' until I pointed out the smoke coming from under the saloon floor. We came into Union island (none of us had ever been there before) between the reefs at night under sail having put out the engine fire.

In Moorea I was on a catamaran where the owner/skipper tried to anchor in 40m, because they had 50m of chain. I convinced them that only the big ocean liners anchored there, and we ought to go and anchor where all the other cruising-yachts were. The anchor was one of those ones that deploys off one bow and then you use the bridle to centre it between the hulls. They tried to back up on the anchor to set it, and the boat twisted sideways so much that the chain jumped off the roller. I cleared up the mess and we tried again, same result. I cleared up the mess again. 3rd time, I was at the helm and instantly realized that the port engine was stuck in forwards. The skipper who'd owned the boat for 30 years and already circumnavigated in it once, hadn't noticed. I immediately shut off the port engine and anchored using the stbd one. The next day the generator caught fire.

Need I go on...?

Pleas do...best reading I'v done in a while.....

Beers on me as long as the stories are flowing..

[fishwife]

Originally Posted by YourOldNemesis

The next day the generator caught fire.

I've gone back to read t all of this post a few times, but this last line still makes me grin like a Cheshire cat Yes, I know it wasn't funny at the time but reading it

[fishwife]

Originally Posted by glensail

"We went elsewhere."
GOOD. Guess the guys forgot about that liitle brit (woman) who did the transat..and won!! tks for the post. Glenn

Well they missed out on the sale of 600 gallons or so of diesel, 2 weeks berthing on a 60 footer and avoiding me telling stories in the bar about them

P.

[fishwife]

Originally Posted by Joli

I've sailed with alot of people. I've pretty much reached the point that unless I know them and have a few miles with them I don't trust them. Not saying I don't like them or respect them but I don't tust what they might do on the boat.

Miss Fish you would get along fine with Mrs Joli. Here she is driving north in the skinny channel.

From what little I can see, Mrs Joli has a very nice boat at her command

P.

[unbusted67]

Not to pee on the parade but I have noticed a common tone here at CF. It's this one: "if you don't know what you are doing- please don't buy the boat." and honestly there are parts of it that I agree with, but maybe what should be said is: if you don't know what you are doing don't buy the huge boat and drive it fast.

My point is that no one, including everyone that has posted on this thread, has gotten good at something without failing at it a 100 times first.

I will make my point with this story: I was taking sailing lessons at a local college and there were a bunch of hot shot sailing team kids that would teach the classes. They were really good at making you and your girlfriend feel inadequate while learning something new but not very good teachers

There was one guy there though who was a bit older. He took me out sailing one day on a couple of Lazers. I dumped the thing a few times and he saw me getting frustrated and stopped me and said, - and I paraphrase - "you know what I hate about our culture? Everyone thinks that they can be Bruce Lee. There is such a lie that men tell themselves that once they reach a certain age they have learned all that they need to learn and that they are, to a degree, capable of doing most things well. Not true," he said, "right now you have a toddler's muscle memory when it comes to sailing a Lazer, why would you expect to know any more? Have you done this before"

Anyone can point a finger and make someone else feel like a fool but it takes a real man (or women) to try something new and look like a fool at it.

[Stillraining]

Well said UB

Now toss me that dock line dag nabit...