Seagypsy Woman Asks -

[Not Sure]

Originally Posted by GordMay

Thanks for the good advice seagypsywoman. I’ve always understood the “Men’s Marriage Survival Handbook” to limit hubby’s basic lexicon to:
“Yes Dear”
“You’re right, Dear”
“I’m sorry, Dear”
Usually, all three should be used consecutively, as in:
“Yes Dear, you’re right. I’m sorry.”

Three main causes of divorce:
1. Marriage is the main cause for divorce.
2. People divorce because they can.
3. Disrespect.

I think that seagypsywoman’s advice (and the above lexicon) put a humorous face to the most important factors in maintaining interpersonal relationships:
1. RESPECT, APPRECIATION and CONSIDERATION
2. COURTESY and CIVILITY

I think that most couples could remain happilly cruising, if they practice thoughtful solicitude for each other’s feelings, person, space, and things; and utilize friendly politeness in their communications (spoken & un’).

Simply put: "Do no harm"

FWIW,
Gord

Unfortunately, it's not going to happen. I'm assuming that you've either A) never heard, or B) don't believe .....in the phrase "familiarity breeds contempt"? It may take 6 months or 20 years, but it _will_take, eventually. Everything else is simply convenience. In other words, it's 'convenient' to stay together. The precursor to it is....how long after you were married did your spouse stop doing the things that both of you (purportedly) liked to do together before you were married? That's the clue, right there

[GordMay]

Originally Posted by Not Sure

Unfortunately, it's not going to happen. I'm assuming that you've either A) never heard, or B) don't believe .....in the phrase "familiarity breeds contempt"? It may take 6 months or 20 years, but it _will_take, eventually...

Familiarity only breeds contempt, in the intelligent, when one becomes familiar with the contemptuous.

The intelligent are often able to choose mates that are more admirable than contemptuous; whereupon increasing familiarity (discovery) breeds respect, appreciation, and affection. Maggie & I were so fortunately "gifted".

On the other hand, the unwise make often make unwise decisions, which (like fish) tend not to improve with age.

Maggie and I have been married 41 years, of which 10 were spent living in very close proximity (mostly 24 hrs/day) aboard a C&C 29. Recognizing each others (few) faults, and our many differences; I can honestly state that there has never been any contempt in our relationship (perhaps a little occasional annoyance, anger, dismay, & disappointment).

Expecting a spouse to remain the same, and to (continue) enjoy doing what you enjoy, seems (to me) a rather naive & juvenile point of view.

This saying has its origins in one of Aesop’s fables - The Fox and the Lion:
“When first the Fox saw the Lion he was terribly frightened, and ran away and hid himself in the wood. Next time however he came near the King of Beasts he stopped at a safe distance and watched him pass by. The third time they came near one another the Fox went straight up to the Lion and passed the time of day with him, asking him how his family were, and when he should have the pleasure of seeing him again; then turning his tail, he parted from the Lion without much ceremony.
"Familiarity Breeds Contempt"

I like Mark Twain’s corollary, better: “Familiarity breeds contempt - and children.”

[Not Sure]

Originally Posted by GordMay

Familiarity only breeds contempt, in the intelligent, when one becomes familiar with the contemptuous.

The intelligent are often able to choose mates that are more admirable than contemptuous; whereupon increasing familiarity (discovery) breeds respect, appreciation, and affection. Maggie & I were so fortunately "gifted".

On the other hand, the unwise make often make unwise decisions, which (like fish) tend not to improve with age.

Maggie and I have been married 41 years, of which 10 were spent living in very close proximity (mostly 24 hrs/day) aboard a C&C 29. Recognizing each others (few) faults, and our many differences; I can honestly state that there has never been any contempt in our relationship (perhaps a little occasional annoyance, anger, dismay, & disappointment).

Expecting a spouse to remain the same, and to (continue) enjoy doing what you enjoy, seems (to me) a rather naive & juvenile point of view.

This saying has its origins in one of Aesop’s fables - The Fox and the Lion:
“When first the Fox saw the Lion he was terribly frightened, and ran away and hid himself in the wood. Next time however he came near the King of Beasts he stopped at a safe distance and watched him pass by. The third time they came near one another the Fox went straight up to the Lion and passed the time of day with him, asking him how his family were, and when he should have the pleasure of seeing him again; then turning his tail, he parted from the Lion without much ceremony.
"Familiarity Breeds Contempt"

I like Mark Twain’s corollary, better: “Familiarity breeds contempt - and children.”

That's why it's called a 'fable'. In real life, the lion pounced on and ate the fox when he got close enough. Congratulations on your long union. You are indeed lucky, and a minority.