Is it Worth Giving up Hockey ?

[LakeSuperior]

Originally Posted by Don Lucas

Bet there are a LOT more hockey playing kids than there are ones who got to cruise! In the end just one more kid that played hockey compared to someone who got a lasting event. - When you are 30+ and talking about your youth , which is going to gather more listeners?

What??? I'm 57 and just played this morniing in a 30 and over league. In fact, I belong to two old-timer leagues, Sunday morning and Wedneday evening. Hockey is a sport you can play your whole life. I played in a rental last week with at least 10 guys over 60. One guy, Harold is 74. BTW, Don you don't do life to gather listeners at the end. Every man dies alone.

I wonder about how independent kids grow up if they spend 24/7 cruising with their parents. IMO they needs lots of time just hanging with friends out of the watchful eye of mom and dad learning and growing up. It's a tough competitive world. They need lessons and decision making on their own. Just a thought here.

[boatman61]

I tend to agree with Jim Cate and others... not from personal experience but from observation... its awesome to see a 10yr old hold a mature discussion with a 50+yr old.. the open mind that can snap up and store information...
As to home chooling... friends of mine do 1hr in the morning and 1hr after supper... thats all you need coz your one on one not one out of 25 or 30... Geography, History and Maths are part of the lifestyle so he'll appreciate their value and learn with interest... likewise Languages... he'll develop manual skills and self esteem from being placed in positions of responsibility, he'll learn independance by learning to cook and clean for the rest.... when its his turn...
He'll come out the other side a better man for it all,,, and a damn good seaman...
The same applies for your daughter... in her case woman...
But you've got to change too... your no longer his Dad... your the Skipper...
Whole different approach...
If you wait till he's 13 - 14 the hormones will be raging and he'll KNOW hockey can get him where he wants to be... then you will have a rebellion....

[Bill Lee]

I do appreciate the input - and the decision is only getting harder..... We were skeptical about hockey at first and then began to appreciate how much it was about character, responsibility, work ethic, team building (and so on) and then we started to appreciate what an amazing technical sport it is. Despite the difficult nature of this decision (and its impact on ALL of us), we are very appreciative that we actually HAVE this option... Cheers,
Bill

[capcook]

Originally Posted by Bill Lee

I do appreciate the input - and the decision is only getting harder.....Bill

Bill,

I see a lot of my own issues in your query... so will be very interested in seeing where you end up, but my gut tells me you won't go now... you have a successful business perhaps one your Ks could take over?... your Ks are very happy in their current life... so a gamble with the new life...

I have done a great deal of research (and zero personal experience, so take this with a grain of salt) on this and can tell you that not all kids adapt to the life style, I am wondering if mine will. They really enjoy their friends, the sleep overs, the outings... ironically they have just taken up Ice skating (but not any good, so just for fun)... It is the easy life with all it's routines they would miss... Personally, I would be so much better off financially waiting a other 9yrs until they are in college to go off... Our kids have seen a lot of the world already, but always as a vacation, never really spending time anywhere to get to really know the place... I want them to really understand the world (as best one can understand it)... So I want to give this experience to them, but like you I worry they won't adapt and it all becomes a VERY expensive mistake...

So I am hoping you go and report back great results... I have a make the decision in 1.5yrs when my wife finishes her Masters. If I stay until the Ks are in college I am at least $1Mil+ better off... and so in a better position to help the Ks financially later on... If I go now, I get to spend the next 2-3 yrs at least with the Ks full time... see the world and slow down... it's a really tough decision..

Cheers

[Bill Lee]

Hi capcook,
Can't we trade places: you go - report back, and persuade me that I should go/stay...? I'm a lawyer with my own practice. Its a successful one - but I can't pass it on. It took time to build up the reputation and the practice. It would be easy to leave but difficult to re-establish. If I wait until the kids are older I'd be financially better off (and significantly so). I'd also be at the height of my earning potential. However, it would be too late to cruise with the kids. My wife and I would be beter off waiting (say 10 years) and its not like our kids are suffering now. They have a great life. But we're surrounded by consumerism (and we take part in it to a high degree), surrounded by self-indulgence and selfishness - but there's good stuff too. Our kids are remarkably balanced and responsible and kind. However, I see the pull of this environment and its influence (particularly on my son) and wonder which road would serve the family best. Tough choices. In some ways - its about living my dream. In many ways its about providing an alternate lifestyle and life experience for our family. Cheers,
Bill
PS I find it weird how easy it is to open up on this forum on what are really private matters. Just an observation.

[lawdawg]

Spent the last 7 years building up my law practice, it has been doing very well. Was told I had a 92% chance of dying and not leaving the hospital room. After over a year I beat it and am selling everything and taking off for a few years. I will build it back up when I get back, or be doing something different. You never know what the future holds. Beware of the sense of materialism that can surround you and cloud your judgment over what truly matters. If you believe you would regret not giving them this experience, you have your answer. I know for me that life has given me the gift of living in the present again, and I plan on doing my best to show my appreciation.
Best wishes

[capcook]

Originally Posted by lawdawg

You never know what the future holds.

Lawdawg, you make a great point... just had a friend 57 had the big one... he is no longer with us... I am 55... really makes one think...


Bill... we need clones...

Someone posted earlier something that resonates with me and that is what will my Ks remember more about their pre-high school years... a) all the sleep overs and play dates they had in suburbia, or b) that they crossed an ocean in a small boat, saw X numbers of countries and learn to do things they would never have learned at home...

I know the answer...

Cheers

[boatman61]

Originally Posted by Bill Lee

I do appreciate the input - and the decision is only getting harder..... We were skeptical about hockey at first and then began to appreciate how much it was about character, responsibility, work ethic, team building (and so on) and then we started to appreciate what an amazing technical sport it is. Despite the difficult nature of this decision (and its impact on ALL of us), we are very appreciative that we actually HAVE this option... Cheers,
Bill

My take on this post is that Hockey is winning.... lol
No.. I'm not knocking you at all, you know your kids better than anyone else... except maybe their best friends..
I feel that you were only 45% sure about the adventure and were looking for a slightly different set of answers...
Stick at what your doing... it sounds like you have a very good life already with a great combination of Shore and Sail time...
Wait till they're ready to go into college and are more independent, then you can give them the choice to stay.. or to go away with you..
They can then choose a Gap year.. or stay forever....

[Bill Lee]

I'm at the office. I should be working. Instead, I'm contemplating the wisdom of these posts.... Thanks. Cheers,
Bill

[jackiepitts]

We were forced with a similar decision several years ago as you are except for the fact that we had only a daughter and she was 12 yo when we started talking about going cruising. She was very excited about it at 12 years old. By the time we sold the house, purchased the boat, and were somewhat ready to make our plan a reality she was 15 and the last thing she wanted to do was to go off cruising with her parents. School, friends, etc. were just too important at that time of her life so we decided to stay put and let her graduate high school. We lived on the boat and took vacations when she was on school breaks (many times with her friends aboard). When she turned 18 and graduated high school we decided it was time for hubby to retire and start cruising. By this time she had gone full circle and decided that it would be fun to spend a year cruising with her parents so off we went. She spent a little over a year with us cruising Mexico before going back to college where she is now.
Looking back it would have been great to go cruising with her when she was 10 or 12 years old but things all worked out for the best and I am sure that no matter what you decide it will work out for your family as well.
Best,
Jackie

[capcook]

Funny, we have a Bill Lee who is a Lawyer here at the Company... go figure... BTW, my father had a successful law practice, he never pushed either of his son's to enter law, but I think he would have prefered that one of us did... you never know where the roads not taken would have led... but happy enough with the roads I took..

Cheers

[beetlejuice30]

change is good
people grow from change

[Mimsy]

I might have missed someone suggesting this earlier, but why not cruise for a year and then reevaluate? One season away from hockey will not make or break any potential future plans. You can cruise for a year, then decide if its something everyone wants to do or not. If the family votes no, you've had the benefit of the cruising experience for a year. If they vote yes, well then you can continue on.

It doesn't have to be all or nothing.

[bcboomer]

Try reading, or better yet have your family read, books by parents and kids who have done it.
If they aren't enthusiastic after reading these "unprejudiced" sources, then I guess you're stuck for a bit.

Check this view from a young lady who has been through it: Children and Cruising | Sailing Blog | Lin & Larry Pardey.

If you haven't read her, check out Liza Copeland's books about cruising with her family on a Beneteau 38.

In my opinion you will give your kids a wonderful start in life by sailing into the sunset now, not years down the road.

[Bill Lee]

Thanks for the reference to the article at the Pardey's website. I've read that before - but it was good to read it again. I'm inspired to ask my kids what questions THEY would ask a cruising kid. Cheers,
Bill