I'm Not Afraid to Say I'm Afraid

[gpdno]

I singlehand and when I'm out by myself I'm fine. I'll go out in bad/rough weather just to be sure I can handle it... To gain more experience. Is fun, what I call a nervous excitement

When I got cruising with my wife and two young kids. I'm scared to death for the first day and constantly on guard. Thankfully, my wife understands and after awhile I can calm my inner voice down.

When I'm responsible for other people, my family, that when the fear, the what if's set in. That first day I have to force myself to stop worrying and just have fun

Courage is not the absence of fear but the judgement that something else is more important than fear.
-Meg Carbot

[ragdoll]

fear (respect) + discipline = POWER
fear + panic = chaos

[Celestialsailor]

I don't mind admitting that I am occasionally in fear when it comes to sailing. While I love the life-style of messing around with boats, the fear factor comes into play while voyaging. Everything is new and changing around me. I realize I have become conditioned to everyday life where most things are predictable. 2008 found me in 45kts winds and 18ft seas between 2 tropical storms blowing up the Ca. coast. 5am. the boom tore out of the mast. All I could think about was "what am I doing here"? Then when I am back in my daily grind on shore I realize why I go sailing...On shore, I'm like that little Penguin looking for sanctuary from the killers!
PS.Welcome to the forum

[capn_billl]

Good post. I always see a voyage like jumping out to a stepping stone in a river. I feel a sence of relief when I get to the other side with no mishaps.

[christinekling]

Hi guys,

I don't if many of you are members of SSCA (Seven Seas Cruising Association) or not, but I am, and one of the perks is that they have these people all over the world who offer their homes as "cruising stations." Tonight is my second night on this private dock in Beaufort, SC and these folks fed me dinner last night, offered me their truck today to go to the grocery store and took me sightseeing this afternoon. They are incredibly generous and they say they have over 30 boats a year come through and tie up to their dock. They are former cruisers who are now dirt dwellers. I would love to stay longer with this free dock and 110v power for the electric heater, but I'm trying to get to FL and I wouldn't want to take advantage of their hospitality.

Isn't it interesting that when one day you feel all alone and afraid -- a day or two later, you can be astounded by the warmth and generosity of your fellow sailors in the boating community?

I think it is that vacillation between the extremes, fear/exhilaration, calm/excitement, boredom/fascination, etc. that makes life interesting. When you are getting up every morning and going to a mundane job, life is more of an even line and doesn't have highs and lows. A long sea passage to me isn't always loads of fun, but when you arrive at land, the scent of grass and trees never smelled as wonderful, warm water never felt so good, and clean dry sheets feel like a million dollars. You have to have the lows to feel the highs.

Anyway, tomorrow I will cross into Georgia if the shoals and the tides cooperate. Fingers crossed!

Christine
Welcome | inKlings

[Nicholson58]

Just hand over the bird and nobody gets hurt.

I worry too. The bigest step will be the first as we sell the house, posessions and leave.

[Therapy]

Boatman is right about fear and hero's.

I have respect and fear. More when I have my wife aboard. Probably too much more but I can't help it. She is "softer".

On the penguin:

A. They were just playing with it. Like cats do with mice. Sometimes it feels like the ocean/weather is playing with me.

B. If they were really hungry the inflatable would be in danger I should think. I hope I don't ever see a really hungry sea. I fear that.

[Khagan1227]

Like several others on here, I've been in a few situations that could have had some rather unpleasant outcomes. About half of those situations, I don't remember being afraid, just determined, or in one case, extremely pissed. During one of the other situations, as the saying goes, "I felt my bowels turn to water."

The only thing I can see that was different, was how much time I had to think about the situations. When I had lots of time to worry/fear, lets just say I took every chance to use those opportunities.

No advice on fear here, I think each of us deal with our fears differently and have different fears. I don't worry about the voyage, I worry about tagging several other boats while leaving a mooring. Hasn't happened in a while, but its out there, waiting for me...

On the penguin:
A. The Orcas weren't hungry
B. The one Orca came to the boat and nicely asked the return of his toy.
C. The penguin in the boat should hide, not stand on the gunnel and talk trash to the Orcas in the water, i.e. the weight of fully grown Orca, probably exceeds the capacity of the inflatable.

[christinekling]

Originally Posted by Khagan1227

On the penguin:
A. The Orcas weren't hungry
B. The one Orca came to the boat and nicely asked the return of his toy.
C. The penguin in the boat should hide, not stand on the gunnel and talk trash to the Orcas in the water, i.e. the weight of fully grown Orca, probably exceeds the capacity of the inflatable.

Oh my God, I haven't laughed so hard in days. The orcas and their toy, the trash talking penguin – You nailed it!

[Zydeco]

I agree with most of what has been posted previously. A little fear/respect is a healthy thing. It motivates you to plan ahead and exercise prudent seamanship. With that said, once you have prepared yourself and your boat and shoved off, try not to worry needlessly about things you cannot control and just enjoy the experience including handling challenges as they arise. The reality is "there be no dragons" and it sounds like you are better prepared than many who have gone before you.

I've wasted a lot of time worrying about stuff that never happened. And worrying about it doesn't help. All it does is take away from the experience. The few times we've been in a tight spot, the worry and fear disappears. It's almost a relief when the "bad thing" happens (a thunderstorm arrives, seas build, run aground, anchor drags, beer runs out, whatever) and instead you focus on doing what needs to be done.

A tip on the ICW ahead of you: If you have looked at the Active Captain site and the waterway guidebooks, it appears as if there is a hazard of some sort (shoaling usually) every couple miles. It's good information, but I think a lot of what's reported is actually boats that had meandered out of the channel.

However, those reports are an indication that the channel is a little hinkey there for some reason and you need to pay particular attention to stay in the channel. Just be aware that the channel at that location may be kinda narrow or a little shallow or make a strange turn at that spot and you'll be fine. For every boat that runs aground, there are hundreds that pass that spot without incident.

[captain58sailin]

In my neighborhood, I have seen Orcas bite a 1200 lb sea lion in half like it was made of butter, I have had Humpback whales use my vessel as a screen to keep an Orca from finding it. They are cute little darlings, but they do have a bite.

[David_Old_Jersey]

Originally Posted by captain58sailin

In my neighborhood, I have seen Orcas bite a 1200 lb sea lion in half like it was made of butter, I have had Humpback whales use my vessel as a screen to keep an Orca from finding it. They are cute little darlings, but they do have a bite.

That would make me afraid .

[captain58sailin]

I think they are way cool, I just wouldn't swim with one in the pool, no more than I would make a house pet out of a Cheetah or any other wild animal.

[Honey Ryder]

i think it's all in the head...and everybody's different.

who would you rather be? the "careful" person who never does anything or the "reckless" person who does everything? as mark twain said, "i only regret the things i didn't do".

danger? it's everywhere. you sound like a strong, resourceful, confident, able, and self-reliant person. well done! my money says that anybody who looks at you is probably a little jealous and wishes they had some of you inside of them.

the fear is what keeps you from being what's called "stupid". you worry about dragging an anchor, or the tides, or staying safe. good. if you didn't then you'd drag an anchor, etc.

joshua slocum sailed around the world alone at the age of 51 in a boat not designed for the purpose. he stayed safe at night at anchor by scattering tacks on deck so that any "visitors" would have a hard time. he swept them up again in the morning.

a little fear is good, it keeps you safe!

[Kokanee]

Great thread!


I too get labeled as "reckless" on occasion, even though I gave up doing really stupid things in my teens. I now spend much more time assessing the risks of any "reckless" activity.
I enjoy what fear/nervousness/tension does to me. It forces me to focus, to be hyper-sensitive to everything happening around me. I'm forced to take it all in and react. The primeval survival instincts kick into gear, and all the day to day fluff is forgotten.
I may one day be in a position where the fear overwhelms me, and I lose my ability to act. That thought scares the hell out me.