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-   -   Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look. (https://www.cruisersforum.com/forums/f74/single-men-living-aboard-and-cruising-an-honest-look-152569.html)

Pelagic 23-01-2018 18:21

Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
 
Smells.... Hmmm interesting when we consider the theory that women are strongly and subliminally attracted to the smell of a man.

Ok boat ladies, can you describe the smell that gets your attention?

JPA Cate 23-01-2018 20:37

Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
 
My goodness, Pelagic! That's about as doable as trying to describe the taste of a fried egg! :wink::biggrin:

Really, diesel odor should not be a problem at all, as long as there are no fuel leaks. It's a non event, except when there's a leak. And you'll smell it the moment you get below, having a smell there is a huge change. Your below decks area should have no smell at all. If you have an engine room, it may smell of lube oil, but not diesel.



Ann

tinysailor 23-01-2018 20:43

Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Pelagic (Post 2561967)

Ok boat ladies, can you describe the smell that gets your attention?



Wet motorbike leathers and soggy flowers

masou 23-01-2018 21:31

Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
 
cigarettes and rum mask diesel smells

gamayun 23-01-2018 23:10

Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by JPA Cate (Post 2562022)
Really, diesel odor should not be a problem at all, as long as there are no fuel leaks. It's a non event, except when there's a leak. And you'll smell it the moment you get below, having a smell there is a huge change. Your below decks area should have no smell at all. If you have an engine room, it may smell of lube oil, but not diesel.

Ann

Well, I had a fuel pump leak that seeped into my sole (and my soul) in the cabin that I sleep in. I used all sorts of cleaning products and buried the board in kitty litter for a week or more to get the smell out. It's not obvious anymore, but it still lightly permeates my bed sheets somehow.

gamayun 23-01-2018 23:11

Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by weavis (Post 2561962)
Peggy Hall recommends this product as the answer to diesel smells totally.

Odor eliminator PureAyre eliminates cat, pet, smoke, skunk, cigars, gasoline, cooking and musty odors

Cool. I'm looking it up now!

gamayun 23-01-2018 23:13

Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Pelagic (Post 2561967)
Ok boat ladies, can you describe the smell that gets your attention?

Neoprene :biggrin:

There's something about a guy in a hip-hugging wetsuit that gets me every time :snorkel:

cyan 23-01-2018 23:16

Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by weavis (Post 2561745)
Can we perhaps move a fraction to the left

I smell a special kind of funny in here.[emoji16]

Pelagic 23-01-2018 23:17

Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by gamayun (Post 2562069)
Neoprene [emoji3]

There's something about a guy in a hip-hugging wetsuit that gets me every time :snorkel:

Lol....Skin in or two side?[emoji4]

gamayun 23-01-2018 23:20

Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
 
1 Attachment(s)
A female and her boat...

gamayun 23-01-2018 23:22

Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Pelagic (Post 2562072)
Lol....Skin in or two side?[emoji4]

Huh? You mean is there anything underneath the suit? Can you really not imagine the answer to that?

Pelagic 23-01-2018 23:32

Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by gamayun (Post 2562074)
Huh? You mean is there anything underneath the suit? Can you really not imagine the answer to that?

No ....some wetsuits are made with a smooth rubber interior (better seal and thermal properties) called "Skin in"

You need to soap yourself up before squeezing into them.

weavis 24-01-2018 00:45

Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Pelagic (Post 2562077)
No ....some wetsuits are made with a smooth rubber interior (better seal and thermal properties) called "Skin in"

You need to soap yourself up before squeezing into them.

Oh great... I have this vision of men with skin sensitivities in the water starting to foam up.... your diving buddy is just a mass of soapy bubbles as he scratches away..

Alternatively the alarming scene of men passing the WD40 spray bottle between themselves just to get into the suit....

ahuh..

weavis 24-01-2018 00:50

Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by JPA Cate (Post 2562022)
My goodness, Pelagic! That's about as doable as trying to describe the taste of a fried egg! :wink::biggrin:

Really, diesel odor should not be a problem at all, as long as there are no fuel leaks. It's a non event, except when there's a leak. And you'll smell it the moment you get below, having a smell there is a huge change. Your below decks area should have no smell at all. If you have an engine room, it may smell of lube oil, but not diesel.



Ann

If the diesel odor is on your clothes, it's a good bet that the insides of the drawers and hanging lockers are at least a part of the source. And I suspect that the dinette settee cushions are too.

There is a product that will eliminate ANY odor--even smoke and diesel: Pure Ayre Odor eliminator PureAyre eliminates cat, pet, smoke, skunk, cigars, gasoline, cooking and musty odors I tripped over it several years ago at a boat show in Seattle...brought some home to test, and have been a fan ever since.

You've already done the most important thing in getting rid of any odor...you've eliminated the source. Now we're only left with residual odor that's permeated cushions, lockers, nooks and crannies. To get rid of that, put some PureAyre in a garden pump spray jug spray every inch of inside of the boat with it...making sure to use enough on cushions to penetrate all the way to the middle of the foam from both sides...it does little good to just "dust" the surface with anything if the odor has permeated the whole cushion. Spray the insides and outsides of drawers...etc etc. Then don't rinse...just leave everything open and let it dry for 24 hours. If you still have any remaining odor, you missed a spot.

To get rid of odor in your clothes, put a quart of PureAyre into a washerload of COLD water...let it soak overnight, then launder as usual.

I don't have any connection to this product or the company that makes it. I recommend it 'cuz it WORKS..the only product I've ever found that not only eliminates "organic" (bilge, sewage etc) odors, but also smoke and diesel. And it's approved for use around food, which makes it very safe...and the answer when a shore power failure leaves you with a fridge that stinks from the meat that spoiled in the freezer.

Diesel smell in the boat - Trawler Forum

weavis 24-01-2018 00:55

Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
 
After the hurricane Charley in 2004, a lot of my clothes had been soaked and sat wet for a few days. Had that horrible rank moldy smell with slimy feel.

A wise woman told me to wash them in the washing machine with non bleach bleach. (For coloured clothes) I did so and hey! cleaned them up beautifully and removed the smell!

Might work for that diesel smell too.

gamayun 24-01-2018 02:12

Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
 
THIS is what we've been talking about, right ladies?!

https://www.bolde.com/incredible-wom...ves-heres-why/

wolfgal 24-01-2018 02:37

Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by gamayun (Post 2562118)
THIS is what we've been talking about, right ladies?!

https://www.bolde.com/incredible-wom...ves-heres-why/

Here we go, girl!

Granted, where's i'd give myself a 6/10 on the amazing-scale (i'm working on getting back up to speed, got bogged down for a bit), i'd definitely give you a full 10!

:flowers:

Pelagic 24-01-2018 02:52

Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
 
I'd call that article self serving BS designed to help the magazine sell advertising.

That same crap could be applied to men, but my key issue with this is:
ALL WOMEN are incredible to the right partner and if you start grading a potential partner in terms of inferior/superior.... You are guaranteed to end up with a hollow choice that never reaches his/her potential.

wolfgal 24-01-2018 03:56

Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Pelagic (Post 2562135)
I'd call that article self serving BS designed to help the magazine sell advertising.

That same crap could be applied to men, but my key issue with this is:
ALL WOMEN are incredible to the right partner and if you start grading a potential partner in terms of inferior/superior.... You are guaranteed to end up with a hollow choice that never reaches his/her potential.

Good point. the grading thing isn't a good idea... but i do not agree with your inferior/superior qualification here.

this article doesn't spell it out this way. it does attempt to bypass this notion. it states that there are gals who are just not thinking of getting a guy: they are thinking of what to do, where to go, what to learn and how to do it... next.

this is the crux of it, right here, i think. i've known lots of women who do not feel complete without a man in their lives and who struggle to move forward on a project without a man in their lives to do it with them. Boatie brought up something to this effect earlier.

this article is saying that there are those gals who are swinging from limb to limb and are difficult to attain because of it. this article is saying that they are greatly admired, yet often alone.

i've been there before...

wolfgal 24-01-2018 04:31

Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
 
ok be nice to me guys... i'm giving this thread something to sink its teeth into


on being female: pet peeves, dislikes, preferences on a sailboat

1) if there is anything i dislike (beyond getting screamed at or fondled or worse - which has been already discussed here), it is being expected to cook (be the galley slave) because i'm female.

i do my share graciously and as a good hostess, but i've learned to set the boundaries as fast as i can. i also tend to wash up twice as much as my duties require to make up for any short-comings

but the truth is that, whereas many women love to cook, i actually feel anger inside of me when i'm expected to whip something up in the galley, for the guys (and i'm often the only female), especially during a sail. when sailing, i want to sail too...

2) not having my share of the helm and the decisions made there. whereas i'm a happy first-mate and am ready to climb the mast, clean the bilges and the boat, change the impeller, the filters, switch out the propane tanks, grapple with the anchor, the dingy... lots of stuff..., i'm working on becoming more comfortable at the helm in different situations.

i was sailing each day on a hobbie cat a couple of summers ago and was paired with a young guy, and the guy never let me steer the bludy boat! after a couple days of thinking that he'd realize that he'd had his share of the tiller, i came to believe that he was a young macho and had to simply put my foot down. but then, when i finally got to steer, he then back-seat steered (like a panic-ass) and near drove me nuts!!! and it wasn't because i was bad at it, it was because he felt insecure if he wasn't the one in control. i asked for another partner and got one (thank goodness).

3) i took some group sailing lessons years back (here in france), and the instructors didn't realize it, but they spoke directly to the guys on board while sailing. they (two different instructors during different courses) would look directly into the eyes of the guys on board when delivering the important (responsibility stuff) info. i probably would not have noticed but, because i hear less well than others, i tend to look at someone directly (especially in the wind) as so much can be read in the face and mouth. after a while...

4) just two days ago, on another website, i noted that there was a discussion following a post that read "the man who doesn't lose sight of the shore, ...he... "
and a few female sailors popped in with light-hearted comments pertaining to the 'he' and hinted at the possibility of 'she' as in "coo, coo, we are here too". most were taking it as fun but some guy had to write, IF SHE'S COURAGEOUS ENOUGH...

lots of women are not especially adventurous, granted. lots of women are not especially courageous when it comes to getting into blue water, granted, but this guy was responding to female sailors ...

5) smells... of all the natural boat smells, it is the mildew smell on plastic that doesn't sit well with me... as far as "manly smells" go, Ann responded well to the question, but there are definitely different types of skin smells. this is probably best left a mystery:biggrin:. however, i will say that added cologne and deodorants or loud soap smells are a definite turn off. diesel and oil smells are better because they smell like a boat:smitten:. i've never tried neoprene though... Gamayun seems to be suggesting that it might be worth go...

6) decoration: i'm a bit of a minimalist and a purist who sticks to the 80% clean rule. yet, i cannot stand flowery prints or "girly" stuff decoration (you know the flowery prints that often come wit the older moodys? gah!), but the same goes for neon lighting. for me, below needs to be cozy and inviting. it is nice when the project is done, and it feels and looks like a boat again. that said, i'm particular about tools. tools need care and to be well-stowed. i like having a handy box and get frustrated when tools are unfindable. having a boat with a tool room, with a mini bench, with a vise would thrill me silly! that's the hard thing about small boats...

Pelagic 24-01-2018 04:35

Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Chichi (Post 2562150)
.

this article is saying that there are those gals who are swinging from limb to limb and are difficult to attain because of it. this article is saying that they are greatly admired, yet often alone.

i've been there before...

Your right, I get that point.

But I also think it is somewhat self fulfilling when you are totally emersed in your own development, career, adventures, that you have little time or inclination to find a partner. You only see "interesting" people.

Maybe, those types (including myself) take shortcuts when they go into a social scene and make premature judgements about others.

Just a thought!

Olddan1943 24-01-2018 05:07

Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Chichi (Post 2562156)
ok be nice to me guys... i'm giving this thread something to sink its teeth into


on being female: pet peeves, dislikes, preferences on a sailboat

1) if there is anything i dislike (beyond getting screamed at or fondled or worse - which has been already discussed here), it is being expected to cook (be the galley slave) because i'm female.

i do my share graciously and as a good hostess, but i've learned to set the boundaries as fast as i can. i also tend to wash up twice as much as my duties require to make up for any short-comings

but the truth is that, whereas many women love to cook, i actually feel anger inside of me when i'm expected to whip something up in the galley, for the guys (and i'm often the only female), especially during a sail. when sailing, i want to sail too...

2) not having my share of the helm and the decisions made there. whereas i'm a happy first-mate and am ready to climb the mast, clean the bilges and the boat, change the impeller, the filters, switch out the propane tanks, grapple with the anchor, the dingy... lots of stuff..., i'm working on becoming more comfortable at the helm in different situations.

i was sailing each day on a hobbie cat a couple of summers ago and was paired with a young guy, and the guy never let me steer the bludy boat! after a couple days of thinking that he'd realize that he'd had his share of the tiller, i came to believe that he was a young macho and had to simply put my foot down. but then, when i finally got to steer, he then back-seat steered (like a panic-ass) and near drove me nuts!!! and it wasn't because i was bad at it, it was because he felt insecure if he wasn't the one in control. i asked for another partner and got one (thank goodness).

3) i took some group sailing lessons years back (here in france), and the instructors didn't realize it, but they spoke directly to the guys on board while sailing. they (two different instructors during different courses) would look directly into the eyes of the guys on board when delivering the important (responsibility stuff) info. i probably would not have noticed but, because i hear less well than others, i tend to look at someone directly (especially in the wind) as so much can be read in the face and mouth. after a while...

4) just two days ago, on another website, i noted that there was a discussion following a post that read "the man who doesn't lose sight of the shore, ...he... "
and a few female sailors popped in with light-hearted comments pertaining to the 'he' and hinted at the possibility of 'she' as in "coo, coo, we are here too". most were taking it as fun but some guy had to write, IF SHE'S COURAGEOUS ENOUGH...

lots of women are not especially adventurous, granted. lots of women are not especially courageous when it comes to getting into blue water, granted, but this guy was responding to female sailors ...

5) smells... of all the natural boat smells, it is the mildew smell on plastic that doesn't sit well with me... as far as "manly smells" go, Ann responded well to the question, but there are definitely different types of skin smells. this is probably best left a mystery:biggrin:. however, i will say that added cologne and deodorants or loud soap smells are a definite turn off. diesel and oil smells are better because they smell like a boat:smitten:. i've never tried neoprene though... Gamayun seems to be suggesting that it might be worth go...

6) decoration: i'm a bit of a minimalist and a purist who sticks to the 80% clean rule. yet, i cannot stand flowery prints or "girly" stuff decoration (you know the flowery prints that often come wit the older moodys? gah!), but the same goes for neon lighting. for me, below needs to be cozy and inviting. it is nice when the project is done, and it feels and looks like a boat again. that said, i'm particular about tools. tools need care and to be well-stowed. i like having a handy box and get frustrated when tools are unfindable. having a boat with a tool room, with a mini bench, with a vise would thrill me silly! that's the hard thing about small boats...

You can navigate and steer the boat, I will cook and wash the dishes. Fair enough? The rest, we shall share.
Per the vise, I totally agree with you. A place to secure the manual food grinder too.
You can have 1/2 of a small hanging closet and a drawer. This is the same space I have allowed myself.
The rest of the spaces seem to be devoted to spare parts and other necessary boat related stuff.

weavis 24-01-2018 05:14

Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Olddan1943 (Post 2562170)
You can have 1/2 of a small hanging closet and a drawer. This is the same space I have allowed myself.

Ahh.. thats where it all fell apart... good try but no cigar..

:nonono:

boatman61 24-01-2018 05:16

Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by weavis (Post 2561947)
I wonder what the difference between a male owned boat and a female owned boat is?

Purple Engines.. :biggrin:
Sorry Beni.. could not resist.. :flowers:

Olddan1943 24-01-2018 05:20

Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by weavis (Post 2562173)
Ahh.. thats where it all fell apart... good try but no cigar..

:nonono:

Well then, if you can rearrange the 'necessary stuff' to afford yourself more room, do it.
I still want 1/2 the closet and a drawer.
I am flexible.
Unless you are going to do most of the cooking, we are going to discuss and agree how to reorganize the galley and cabinets.

boatman61 24-01-2018 05:33

Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
 
ChiChi.. don't sail with me then.. I use Paco Rabanne Original Aftershave.. not to impress, but rather because I like the sting and love the smell.
Oh!!! and as for female crew.. they must have skin that's compatible with Opium original.
:whistling:

Steven UK 24-01-2018 06:54

Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by boatman61 (Post 2562175)
Purple Engines.. :biggrin:
Sorry Beni.. could not resist.. :flowers:

Where is the nice lady who had the pink engine and pink all over the boat, I'm sure she was a retired engineer...?

Oh and hello again been away for a few months...:)

boatman61 24-01-2018 07:17

Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
 
She's around.. think she's busy changing anchorage.. or another project now she's got her new windlass up and running.
Trivia like this is for us with emptier heads.. :biggrin:

BandB 24-01-2018 08:42

Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Chichi (Post 2562156)

3) i took some group sailing lessons years back (here in france), and the instructors didn't realize it, but they spoke directly to the guys on board while sailing. they (two different instructors during different courses) would look directly into the eyes of the guys on board when delivering the important (responsibility stuff) info. i probably would not have noticed but, because i hear less well than others, i tend to look at someone directly (especially in the wind) as so much can be read in the face and mouth. after a while...

.

Quite common and I've seen done in business. A funny story of the pitfalls.

My wife had always dreamed of owning a Porsche so after we moved to Florida, we went on two shopping trips, one for my new car (not a Porsche) and one for her Porsche. We're on the Porsche lot and the salesman refuses to address her. She'll ask a question, he'll answer it to me. I made it clear a couple of times that she was the buyer, not me. Finally, she asked about the color she wanted and he starts on about how he can get it although he doesn't have one but the colors he has are more popular. Then he speaks directly to me and asks "Sir, what can we do to get you in one today." I said, "Well, since I made it clear that I had no interest in buying a Porsche, that's clearly not going to happen." She then said, "And since you refuse to talk to me, the one ready to buy one, then you'll have to wait until h... freezes over to have a chance of selling one." And away we walked. Drove to Tampa and she bought her car.

TJ D 24-01-2018 08:53

Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by weavis (Post 2561940)
I always found it strange that containment of Diesel fumes or eau de diesel has never been a success.

Eventually it gets everywhere.

Baxter smells like diesel often. He doesn't seem to mind. His bed is pretty close to the racors...

john61ct 24-01-2018 09:22

Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
 
Yes, I've a FWB who makes lots more than me, so she usually treats, and it's amazing how insistent we have to be for staff to deal directly with her sometimes.

She's explicitly counted out the cash to them, and then they gave *me* the change!

Fact that she's forty years younger and gorgeous must be part of it...

TiggerTwo 24-01-2018 09:52

Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
 
The chap on 'Sailing Doodles' is a nice guy.. I think he's now staring down both barrels ..
As he's changed his crew to a hotty.. No doubt aware, hits, views and subscriptions will spiral and the youtube cash rolls in..
Most of us experienced in this field .... Are shouting at the screen 'Best of luck but in my experience it will go tits up'
I've made a right arse of myself over the years but now I've been lucky...
Damn Lucky..

gamayun 24-01-2018 10:07

Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Pelagic (Post 2562135)
I'd call that article self serving BS designed to help the magazine sell advertising.

That same crap could be applied to men, but my key issue with this is:
ALL WOMEN are incredible to the right partner and if you start grading a potential partner in terms of inferior/superior.... You are guaranteed to end up with a hollow choice that never reaches his/her potential.

Oh Pelagic, indulge me from time to time, huh? A girl just might need you to nod your head and agree with her, ya know? It might earn you brownie points and a back rub. Isn't that how this relationship thing works?

ChiChi, that's exactly why I have my own boat and why there are so many more women-only sailing courses (with the ones I've seen packed full).

cyan 24-01-2018 10:10

Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by gamayun (Post 2562118)
THIS is what we've been talking about, right ladies?!

https://www.bolde.com/incredible-wom...ves-heres-why/

This is an interesting article, but ladies, it may not be possible to get the key details from the inside- from the eyes of such an incredible woman. The bad "dating lives" may just be a tip of a deeper iceberg that lurks. I'll give you an interesting example, perhaps a cautionary tale.

I was once with one of those 10/10 incredible women. She is now a famous attorney and incredibly successful, a true titan in her field- the kind of superhero that corporations call when they are in a billion-dollar pickle. I was with her throughout her transition over the years from small town sweet girl before college, all the way to big-city take-no-prisoners shark.

She is now beautiful, engaging, and professionally successful beyond dreams.
She has been alone for a long time, with maybe one second-date in 10 years. It is not her choice to be alone.

She fits all of the article's categories such as intense, intimidating, goals, calls BS, etc. These are often admirable traits but there can be a dark side. Her meteoric rise to the top of her male-dominated profession required her to develop the listed traits in a turbo-charged manner and additionally, an extreme persona that I can only describe as ball-busting. She had to compensate for being an aspiring woman in a man's world by becoming a take-no-prisoners dominant leader. She dominates opponents as well as conversations. Every human engagement for her is intense.

My strong sense of fair play cries foul that my ex had to adopt these extreme traits to succeed in her field, just because of her gender. That sucks. She beat the odds, though. She did it. Along the way, she lost the traits that made her a joy to be with. She sold her soul, in a way. She took all of the categories in that article and turbocharged them- owning them. She can't leave this intensity at the office, because it is not an act now. It is her.

She's beautiful, rich, and alone, as she's been for many years. We're still friends, and I feel bad for her. I cannot help her now, as I've moved on with a happy relationship. If we could go back in time a couple of decades, I would tell her that those articles about "incredible women" should be read with the knowledge that there may be a terrible price to pay for embracing those traits, for turbo-charging each one. The "bad dating lives" of the article is just a hint...
Adopt all those "incredible woman" traits and risk being alone.

gamayun 24-01-2018 10:11

Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Steven UK (Post 2562222)
Where is the nice lady who had the pink engine and pink all over the boat, I'm sure she was a retired engineer...?

Oh and hello again been away for a few months...:)

Oh my. You have some serious catching up to do. Got time....?

gamayun 24-01-2018 10:25

Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by cyan (Post 2562377)
This is an interesting article, but ladies, it may not be possible to get the key details from the inside- from the eyes of such an incredible woman. The bad "dating lives" may just be a tip of a deeper iceberg that lurks. I'll give you an interesting example, perhaps a cautionary tale.

I was once with one of those 10/10 incredible women. She is now a famous attorney and incredibly successful, a true titan in her field- the kind of superhero that corporations call when they are in a billion-dollar pickle. I was with her throughout her transition over the years from small town sweet girl before college, all the way to big-city take-no-prisoners shark.

She is now beautiful, engaging, and professionally successful beyond dreams.
She has been alone for a long time, with maybe one second-date in 10 years. It is not her choice to be alone.

She fits all of the article's categories such as intense, intimidating, goals, calls BS, etc. These are often admirable traits but there can be a dark side. Her meteoric rise to the top of her male-dominated profession required her to develop the listed traits in a turbo-charged manner and additionally, an extreme persona that I can only describe as ball-busting. She had to compensate for being an aspiring woman in a man's world by becoming a take-no-prisoners dominant leader. She dominates opponents as well as conversations. Every human engagement for her is intense.

My strong sense of fair play cries foul that my ex had to adopt these extreme traits to succeed in her field, just because of her gender. That sucks. She beat the odds, though. She did it. Along the way, she lost the traits that made her a joy to be with. She sold her soul, in a way. She took all of the categories in that article and turbocharged them- owning them. She can't leave this intensity at the office, because it is not an act now. It is her.

She's beautiful, rich, and alone, as she's been for many years. We're still friends, and I feel bad for her. I cannot help her now, as I've moved on with a happy relationship. If we could go back in time a couple of decades, I would tell her that those articles about "incredible women" should be read with the knowledge that there may be a terrible price to pay for embracing those traits, for turbo-charging each one. The "bad dating lives" of the article is just a hint...
Adopt all those "incredible woman" traits and risk being alone.

Ouch, Cyan, dude. Are you sure she's so miserable and needs a full-time mate and would go back to her meek, mild self if she could just to get a guy? Seriously, I don't want to beat a dead horse here and get a repeat of the last 1500 posts, but there's something to be said about meeting men and dating on one's own terms, and not compromising oneself. Of course, I can easily argue a bit against myself by saying that "balance" is a trait that's often missing from many successful people's lives, and the lack of it can lead to much misery, too.

gamayun 24-01-2018 10:31

Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
 
Ha, just had another thought....she became just like the men in their typical action and approach. So lesson learned ladies, to be successful, don't be that guy!!!

Olddan1943 24-01-2018 10:33

Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
 
:thumb:
Quote:

Originally Posted by gamayun (Post 2562398)
Ha, just had another thought....she became just like the men in their typical action and approach. So lesson learned ladies, to be successful, don't be that guy!!!

:thumb:

Stu Jackson 24-01-2018 10:45

Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Chichi (Post 2562156)
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
he then back-seat steered (like a panic-ass) and near drove me nuts!!! and it wasn't because i was bad at it, it was because he felt insecure if he wasn't the one in control. i asked for another partner and got one (thank goodness). >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
i'm particular about tools. tools need care and to be well-stowed. i like having a handy box and get frustrated when tools are unfindable. having a boat with a tool room, with a mini bench, with a vise would thrill me silly! that's the hard thing about small boats...

I know a guy in Chicago who used to drive to the West Coast to see his daughter and to Boston to see his son and to Florida to get warm in the winter. He never lets his wife drive, even locally. He doesn't like to fly. He likes to be "in control." He doesn't take painkilling drugs, even for a root canal!!! And he doesn't consider himself a "control freak", nor do I - he's quite a nice guy.

I, too, like my tools neat and accessible. I put kitchen drawer dividers in my nav station for my daily tools, with a hatch holder to keep the lid up - one handed opening and closing. Been there for twenty years. I rarely have to go looking for anything.

john61ct 24-01-2018 11:22

Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Stu Jackson (Post 2562411)
I know a guy in Chicago

He never lets his wife drive, even locally. He doesn't like to fly. He likes to be "in control." He doesn't take painkilling drugs, even for a root canal!!! And he doesn't consider himself a "control freak", nor do I - he's quite a nice guy.

"lets?!"

I keep seeing that "nice guy" label applied to people with horribly regressive / oppressive attitudes and even behaviours.

Amazing how far people can get by just being pleasant and polite on the outside.


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