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2hullvenus 06-09-2015 06:26

Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
 
I'm divorced.

I have a 50' corecell/epoxy catamaran that needs a year worth of work inside and another dump truck full of money, including several staterooms and a rig done. (quote for rig? $48,000) It's currently in power boat mode.

I've been having a lot of good luck lately meeting great, incredibly attractive younger women. However, as a generality, they are not interested in living with me on half finished boats, nor traveling or leaving their jobs/family.

These women were met online at first, then in real life. They are scattered throughout the usa, many of them inland.

They all have local lives and aren't ready to travel, nevermind on a boat that is still a construction project.

I'm getting older now and though I can still attract very, very attractive women, it's not going to be that way much longer. I'm in a window of opportunity looks/money wise to attract great ones right now. BUT... I'm wasting a fortune on my boat and have basically nowhere to host anyone still due to it being unlivable for females (i can tough it out just fine)

So... I'm seriously considering selling this boat as a project boat, converting a box truck and roaming the country to date/meet people. Later, with someone or when I feel like it, I could put the vehicle on a roro ship and send it to various countries, fly there and explore.

I have been on boats for my whole adult life, living aboard, making a living from them, etc.

Boats feel confining to me right now in that I can't get anywhere quickly or travel to most of the world (just to the harbors) with them.

I am stuck on the East Coast of the USA. I want to go to the west coast, the Midwest, to Europe, Asia. By the time I get this boat done and ready for ocean crossings, I'll be much older. I could get an rv done in a few months. It's just one room/bathroom and systems. The catamaran is huge. So many rooms. I have also developed an epoxy allergy helping the pro builders that built the boat, so I can hardly do the odds and ends without discomfort. I had planned to finish the interior myself.

I'd love to hire someone to do the interior, but couldn't afford much more than $15/hr take home for them.

What's a single guy to do?

Keep sacrificing my life to this boat, or get out and go live?

Why are there so many single guys on boats too? That's kind of disturbing to think I may end up as one of them (no offense, but I'm very into being with women... like it more than boats).

What should I do?

neptunesjester 06-09-2015 06:43

Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
 
I was a single, divorcée living on my 'project' boat. Being on the water is in my blood and anyone that was going to be in my life was going to have to accept it. The ones that ran were not the right ones.

Here I am about to get married a second time. She gas been living aboard the boat with me for the last 3 years and we're shoving off after the wedding to go cruising.

If you love boating, you'll find a kindred spirit that will jump into the projects with you. If you can walk away without leaving a part of your soul behind, then run, don't walk away. This lifestyle takes dedication and sacrifice that landlubbers will never understand :)

NJ


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boatman61 06-09-2015 06:50

Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
 
Sell it and get something smaller and ready to go..
Face it.. your a single guy and getting older.. time to give up the fantasy's of filling those staterooms with nubile, willing hotties and face facts..
1% of women love boats.. the other 99% view them as something to sip cocktails on in a calm sea anchored by a white beach fringed with palm trees.. then after sunset go home to the big bathroom and air conditioning..:biggrin:
The 'Headless Chicken Dance' is a waste of time..:thumb:

2hullvenus 06-09-2015 06:56

Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by boatman61 (Post 1908425)
Sell it and get something smaller and ready to go..
Face it.. your a single guy and getting older.. time to give up the fantasy's of filling those staterooms with nubile, willing hotties and face facts..
1% of women love boats.. the other 99% view them as something to sip cocktails on in a calm sea anchored by a white beach fringed with palm trees.. then after sunset go home to the big bathroom and air conditioning..:biggrin:
The 'Headless Chicken Dance' is a waste of time..:thumb:

Really loving all of this advice in the thread so far.

Small point to add: Those staterooms are for charter guests. Looking for one nubile young hottie in my crew room. :biggrin:

goat 06-09-2015 06:59

Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
 
Don't go looking for women. Do things you want to do, travel where you want to go, get rid of any albatrosses hanging around your neck. If you do meet someone she'll be doing the things you like doing. No sense trying to change someone to fit the mold you're looking for. Think quality not quantity.

goat

Advice worth the price paid.

brownoarsman 06-09-2015 07:00

Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
 
I'm sure someone has cruising demographics somewhere, but if I were to break it down from personal observation, the population is 60% cruising couples, 39% divorced men, 1% other. Single, young, female cruisers are like unicorns.
One other thing, there's a big difference between having a boat, and living on a boat, at least as far as the dating scene goes. One conveys a spirit of adventure with fun day trips, the other is an overgrown boy - at least that's my experience.
Why not live the life you want while you can?


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SunKing 06-09-2015 07:16

Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
 
Sounds like your interest is "nimble young hotties" not someone you can you can share your life, passions and adventures with. If such is the case sell everything and piss all your money away chasing "nimble young hotties" who will gladly accept all the free gifts from you in your attempt to get laid...

OR do what the rest of us single sailors do. Continue pursuing our cruising lifestyle, enjoy life, and maybe, just maybe you'll come across that 1 in 10,000 that shares the same interests as you...

PRIORITIES... decide what you want out of life, then pursue it... only you can make that decision...

cjsfsm 06-09-2015 07:24

Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
 
There's an old saying which I'm sure you've heard: "Be careful what you ask for." Been there, done that! I don't know your age, but it seems that you are aware of the ticking clock. The shallowness of quick turnaround relationships robbed a good part of my life of purpose and meaning. Of course, that's not true in every case, but today, I am 78 and still have a love of the sea which never left me empty. And, yes, I am married with 7 grandchildren and one great grandchild. Now I am able to share that love. Nothing could be better. :smitten:

2hullvenus 06-09-2015 07:25

Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by SunKing (Post 1908434)
Sounds like your interest is "nimble young hotties" not someone you can you can share your life, passions and adventures with. If such is the case sell everything and piss all your money away chasing "nimble young hotties" who will gladly accept all the free gifts from you in your attempt to get laid...

OR do what the rest of us single sailors do. Continue pursuing our cruising lifestyle, enjoy life, and maybe, just maybe you'll come across that 1 in 10,000 that shares the same interests as you...

PRIORITIES... decide what you want out of life, then pursue it... only you can make that decision...

Priorities. Good point. Here they are.

1) Travel/flexibility to travel
2) Money required to travel
3) Nubile young hotties ;)

Boats are great. A great thing to share with others. Frankly, I feel like I'm missing out on a week of my life when making a single handed passage. I've been on boats continuously for 20 years. The actual boating is nice, but not all that thrilling. I'm 42. 25-30 year old women are literally flocking. This can't last long.

I keep blowing it with them because I don't have a good setup... be it to go to their area or to have them live with me. (no car... full time liveaboard)

I think you were right that my priorities were out of whack. Boat was started during my marriage, so it has been more than confusing to transition to being single mid build. The ex and i made a good living doing charters.

Make no mistake about $$$$ though. I'm just the slightly older guy that younger wkmen gravitate to. Even my ex wife was 10 years younger. Always bern the case. I'm not buying anyone's affection.

hamburking 06-09-2015 07:28

Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
 
Your issue with women is entirely separate from your issue with boats.
However, you seem to be messing up both issues equally well.

By creating barriers to you own success, you guarantee your failure. How about thinking of women as real people with their own dreams, careers, and goals. And how about owning a sailboat that actually sails if you want to go sailing.

You asked.

Tempest245 06-09-2015 07:36

Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
 
Sounds like you need to sell the boat and get yourself a bachelor pad.

2hullvenus 06-09-2015 07:41

Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by hamburking (Post 1908440)
Your issue with women is entirely separate from your issue with boats.
However, you seem to be messing up both issues equally well.

By creating barriers to you own success, you guarantee your failure. How about thinking of women as real people with their own dreams, careers, and goals. And how about owning a sailboat that actually sails if you want to go sailing.

You asked.

I do fine with women. Tons of them around. Trying to choose one that's a good person inside.

I thought we were joking about the phrase nubile young women. I carried the joke. I don't really understand men, actually. No problems with women. Just being very selective this time around.

Although the living situation is hurting me to an extent.

boatman61 06-09-2015 07:42

Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
 
[QUOTE=2hullvenus;1908439]
Boats are great. A great thing to share with others. Frankly, I feel like I'm missing out on a week of my life when making a single handed passage. I've been on boats continuously for 20 years. The actual boating is nice, but not all that thrilling.
That's sad... seems your in it for all the wrong reasons

I'm 42. 25-30 year old women are literally flocking. This can't last long.
QUOTE]

So..?? I'm 67 in 6days.. usually broke.. just not restricted to a 5yr zone..:wink:
its not the wrapping mate its what's inside.. age is just a number.:biggrin:

dgz3 06-09-2015 07:46

Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
 
I guess it depends on what you really want to spend your time doing. Working on stuff, or enjoying the company of your lady friends in pretty places of your choosing.

Why buy a "truck," and spend time and money on it? Why not just sell off everything and buy a really nice turn key motorhome, or pick up and camper trailer, and get on with it? They have terrible depreciation curves. Are usually only very lightly used, and women love them if they are REALLY NICE AND CLEAN AND SMELL GOOD!!!!

Best of all, you aren't asking them to make a total lifestyle commitment to leave behind everything and everyone they know and love just to run off and live with you on your "work in progress." And for how long? Until you get bored with them? And then send them back to what?
I mean, think about what you are offering and what you are asking them to trade for it....

Tingum 06-09-2015 07:46

Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
 
Do you really think a woman would be attracted to a box truck!

Mood indigo 06-09-2015 07:59

Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
 
It may be that you are looking in the wrong place for answers to your 'dilemna'. Pull up a cosy chair, grab a coffee and check your head. Without a doubt, you'll find all of the answers in there... if you ask it the right questions. :-)

Tempest245 06-09-2015 08:13

Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
 
What are you doing for money now ? Are you retired and independently wealthy at 42?

Are you interested in being a father? 25 to 30 year old single women are often (not always) looking to start a family. If they are divorced they may have young children and aren't likely to go skipping around the country in an RV.

2hullvenus 06-09-2015 08:15

Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Tingum (Post 1908460)
Do you really think a woman would be attracted to a box truck!



Ha ha ha, no. But they are more than willing to travel in them temporarily. This would of course be nicer inside than most people's homes.

It also helps me be able to travel around and date women in various parts of the country. Boats and apartments are too limiting.

Oh, no regular rvs. Need to park anywhere

2hullvenus 06-09-2015 08:18

Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Tempest245 (Post 1908488)
What are you doing for money now ? Are you retired and independently wealthy at 42?

Are you interested in being a father? 25 to 30 year old single women are often (not always) looking to start a family. If they are divorced they may have young children and aren't likely to go skipping around the country in an RV.

Too old to be a dad now.

These variables make it harder as well. Looking for one that doesnt want new kids. Maybe they could have one. Idk. Really depends on the individual.

I'm just trying to maximize my potential of meeting new people and this seems like a good way to do it while enjoying travel still.

Money? I own a couple businesses I can run while i travel.

Tellie 06-09-2015 08:23

Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by 2hullvenus (Post 1908491)
Ha ha ha, no. But they are more than willing to travel in them temporarily. This would of course be nicer inside than most people's homes.

It also helps me be able to travel around and date women in various parts of the country. Boats and apartments are too limiting.


I've seen some pretty nice motor homes in my time but most young women wouldn't want to live in one of those full time either. A Box truck nicer than a fully loaded RV? I'd have to see that to believe it. Maybe if you threw in a few boxed lunches.


Halden Marine Services | Marine Watermakers, Solar Panels, Wind Generators

2hullvenus 06-09-2015 08:35

Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Tellie (Post 1908496)
I've seen some pretty nice motor homes in my time but most young women wouldn't want to live in one of those full time either. A Box truck nicer than a fully loaded RV? I'd have to see that to believe it. Maybe if you threw in a few boxed lunches.


Halden Marine Services | Marine Watermakers, Solar Panels, Wind Generators

Exactly. Wouldn't be full time at all for her. Just for me, for right now. Then it could be used to travel overseas if this fictitious new lady and I decide to use it....or just get rid of it.

Trouble with most pre fab RVs is they use cheap systems. Inadequate kitchens, bathrooms, etc.

They are built for profit. I can use the best, plus oversize systems relative to RVs, which makes for comfort.

I've built them before with great success. No brainer. Just sold one to move onto the new boat, actually.

But this is more about sticking with the boat or not...

Tired of sacrificing my life for an inanimate object. :(

PortClydeMe 06-09-2015 08:37

Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by 2hullvenus (Post 1908411)
I'm divorced.

Where to begin? OK, I'll let that one slide. Stuff happens.

Quote:

I have a 50' corecell/epoxy catamaran that needs a year worth of work inside and another dump truck full of money, including several staterooms and a rig done. (quote for rig? $48,000) It's currently in power boat mode.
You're now over 40, with your divorce leaving you in a 50' unsailable sailboat and no automobile. More to come on that below.

Quote:

I've been having a lot of good luck lately meeting great, incredibly attractive younger women. However, as a generality, they are not interested in living with me on half finished boats, nor traveling or leaving their jobs/family.
These women were met online at first, then in real life. They are scattered throughout the usa, many of them inland.
The last place to search for "quality" women is on the Internet. Quality women spend most of their time beating off / filtering respective suiters in "real life", not the digital world. Internet dating is for those that strike out in the real world. Nothing personal, Internet scavenging is a "last resort" freight train to failure.

Quote:

What should I do?
To save time, I jumped over the rest of your post to get straight to your final question. Here's your answer. I've never met a "quality" woman who is interested in babysitting a dreamer with plans up the road. Women are attracted to doers, and want you to have your ducks in a row before proposing unusual things such as live-aboard fantasies. Thus, you first need to get your life together. Quality women desire financial stability, confidence, and success. They could care less about how handsome you are, to the most part.

Again, you need to first get your life together. If you drive up in a "box truck", a "motorhome", or an "unfinished cat", quality women will enjoy the one and only free dinner you buy them (maybe), and then never answer your phone call (always).

In closing, I've never had ANY problem getting a "quality" woman to follow in a plan of mine, yet I have never dated on-line and have my life (finances/stability/confidence) in a solid format for presentation to the opposite sex before asking for a date ... IN REAL LIFE, not the Internet.

Good luck.

mattlad 06-09-2015 08:46

Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Tempest245 (Post 1908447)
Sounds like you need to sell the boat and get yourself a bachelor pad.

If he lives in a bachelor pad he'll still be...... a...... bachelor?!!!

Tempest245 06-09-2015 08:52

Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by mattlad (Post 1908515)
If he lives in a bachelor pad he'll still be...... a...... bachelor?!!!

I saw nothing that suggests that he wants to be anything else at the moment.
In fact, he wants his pad to be Mobile, so he can meet women all over the country.

2hullvenus 06-09-2015 08:57

Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by PortClydeMe (Post 1908507)



The last place to search for "quality" women is on the Internet. Quality women spend most of their time beating off / filtering respective suiters in "real life", not the digital world. Internet dating is for those that strike out in the real world. Nothing personal, Internet scavenging is a "last resort" freight train to failure.



To save time, I jumped over the rest of your post to get straight to your final question. Here's your answer. I've never met a "quality" woman who is interested in babysitting a dreamer with plans up the road. Women are attracted to doers, and want you to have your ducks in a row before proposing unusual things such as live-aboard fantasies. Thus, you first need to get your life together. Quality women desire financial stability, confidence, and success. They could care less about how handsome you are, to the most part.

Again, you need to first get your life together. If you drive up in a "box truck", a "motorhome", or an "unfinished cat", quality women will enjoy the one and only free dinner you buy them (maybe), and then never answer your phone call (always).

In closing, I've never had ANY problem getting a "quality" woman to follow in a plan of mine, yet I have never dated on-line and have my life (finances/stability/confidence) in a solid format for presentation to the opposite sex before asking for a date ... IN REAL LIFE, not the Internet.

Good luck.

I get the gist and agree mostly, but strongly disagree on meeting women "online." I'm not talking about online dating. That's a terrible way to do it. I meet mine on Snapchat, Instagram, etc... It's what your real life women are doing when they are looking into their phones all day.

It's more efficient than real life pickups because ypu can be targeted and not waste hours and hours looking around for ones you are attracted to.

Have you ever financed a team of professional boat builders building a 50ft high performance catamaran from scratch? If you have, I'm not sure where you are imagining I have issues with money. I have actually been traveling by plane and living in hotels in various parts of the country for a break from the boat this summer. My ducks are lined up like a mofo, friend, I'm just finding that this boat project doesn't seem to be lining up with what I want out of life (ie: not to waste it working on boat)

2hullvenus 06-09-2015 08:59

Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Tempest245 (Post 1908524)
I saw nothing that suggests that he wants to be anything else at the moment.
In fact, he wants his pad to be Mobile, so he can meet women all over the country.

Exactly. :biggrin:

As i sort through the women to find one that fits, I will then make whatever changes needed to build a new life with her.

But yes... a mobile bachelor pad is a great description.

The boat is trying to be one, but the uphill battle is so time and money consuming that it seems a land one is easier.

Also, as mentioned, the boat can't really go anywhere. Stuck on the coasts of the world, in harbors. With something mobile, i can RoRo it anywhere on Earth and see the entire country, not just the seaside.

Tempest245 06-09-2015 09:04

Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by 2hullvenus (Post 1908533)
Exactly. :biggrin:

As i sort through the women to find one that fits, I will then make whatever changes needed to build a new life with her.

But yes... a mobile bachelor pad is a great description.

So, I guess you have your answer. Sell the boat, get an RV, Tow a Harley and you're good to go.

Skuzzlebutt 06-09-2015 09:05

Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
 
i could recommend a good psychiatrist, male of course.

If you want to rent, do it by the hour. Cheaper, safer, and won't make off with your money during the divorce.

Best advice, though others seem hesitant to say it, is "Grow up". You sound like a spoiled teenager.

2hullvenus 06-09-2015 09:07

Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Skuzzlebutt (Post 1908540)
i could recommend a good psychiatrist, male of course.

If you want to rent, do it by the hour. Cheaper, safer, and won't make off with your money during the divorce.

Best advice, though others seem hesitant to say it, is "Grow up". You sound like a spoiled teenager.

In what way?

Honest question.

PortClydeMe 06-09-2015 09:11

Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by 2hullvenus (Post 1908530)
I get the gist and agree mostly, but strongly disagree on meeting women "online." I'm not talking about online dating. That's a terrible way to do it. I meet mine on Snapchat, Instagram, etc... It's what your real life women are doing when they are looking into their phones all day.

It's more efficient than real life pickups because ypu can be targeted and not waste hours and hours looking around for ones you are attracted to.

Have you ever financed a team of professional boat builders building a 50ft high performance catamaran from scratch? If you have, I'm not sure where you are imagining I have issues with money. I have actually been traveling by plane and living in hotels in various parts of the country for a break from the boat this summer. My ducks are lined up like a mofo, friend, I'm just finding that this boat project doesn't seem to be lining up with what I want out of life (ie: not to waste it working on boat)

I shouldn't argue this with you, but I will ... for a moment. Snap Chat and Instagram are NOT the right places. Try a nice art museum, and look for the women with GOOD fashion sense and REAL pearls.

Finally, if your ducks are super "mofo" lined, then sell the project cat, fly first class to Newport, Rhode Island, buy a big beach house with a dock, mooring, a new 50'-foot cat, and a new Porsche to cruise to the coffee shops each morning. You'll find some quality women there. I guarantee that they will say "YES!" when you ask "Want to go sailing for six months?"

alansmith 06-09-2015 09:14

Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
 
2Hull, like one poster stated already...you already have the answers. You just don't like the answer you hear. Your personality, like mine, is a little bit on the indecisive side. Please don't be offended.


Listen to the old salts here. Life is like the ocean in many ways. A divorce is a storm of significant power. It has left you chasing your tail financially if what you wrote is readily understood. So, if the analogy is understood...what would you do next after being battered? You would make a plan on how to get your ship back to port and make repairs. You would wait for the high winds and lumpy seas to calm down. You would take a compass heading, allow for ship's state of disrepair, current, and prevailing wind conditions to reach safety.


You have no car, a boat that maybe beyond your reach financially to complete, growing medical issues with dealing with the toxic chemicals and fibers associated with fiberglass, probably no medical insurance, no formal job that has a set income to depend on, and you are beginning to understand that this boat is eating you alive.


You need to rediscover yourself and reinvent the goodness in you. Women are attracted to good looking men...for sure. But have you ever noticed all of the solid beauties are pretty much with average to below average looking men who have something to offer other than a swinging di-k. If you don't know this I will spell it out carefully for you. Women have a shelf life not only for their beauty but for their financial well being. I have several very good lady friends who are single. Known them for long time. It is a real issue for them. It preys on their minds. I have had them over to my house with new boyfriends that are gone shortly thereafter when they find out they have no real life plan and no real financial security. Both of these women are good looking "hotties"...they do not want a stud or anything close to it. They want to be respected, treated kindly, a friendship that is real, and to know that they have a roof over their heads and butter on the bread when they are little old ladies. It really is not much more complex than that.


One thing that comes to mind is that you had a business as charter boat operators. I am sure you were planning something like this with your own boat that you are trying to bring up to snuff. Why not advertise for a female shipmate to cook and you operate a charter with her and split the proceeds? During the off season you work on your boat with her till you can get it in service. Promise her, and keep it, to build your business in the Carib or Mexico, or Thailand....where ever. There are women who might just take that bait. It plays to your strong suit and has adventure, business building opportunity, and takes a dedicated team to accomplish it in a very competitive game. It might take you another 5 years or more to financially accomplish the rebuild...but it is a start and is doable.


Going around the country playing with women is about as stupid a game as there is. Have some respect for yourself. Any woman worth her salt would sniff that game out in a heartbeat. Only the stupid ones would buy into that. Is that what you want? I am sure you wouldn't want that kind of a woman for long...and even the stupid ones have feelings and a heart. Be kind....be kind

2hullvenus 06-09-2015 09:19

Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by PortClydeMe (Post 1908547)
I shouldn't argue this with you, but I will ... for a moment. Snap Chat and Instagram are NOT the right places. Try a nice art museum, and look for the women with GOOD fashion sense and REAL pearls.

Finally, if your ducks are super "mofo" lined, then sell the project cat, fly first class to Newport, Rhode Island, buy a big beach house with a dock, mooring, a new 50'-foot cat, and a new Porsche to cruise to the coffee shops each morning. You'll find some quality women there. I guarantee that they will say "YES!" when you ask "Want to go sailing for six months?"

Ha ha ha! Touché

I'm not that "ducks in a row" :biggrin:

Just normal 1%er stuff.

Honestly, I don't actually like stuffy women like you are describing. I can certainly understand how that would work if you are into those types though.

I do enjoy my snapchat/Instagram types. I like em fun, with a youthful spirit. Just a better match. The only art I currently do is Art Basel in Miami with my Snapchat/Instagram types.

Wendi 06-09-2015 09:24

Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
 
As a single woman, I gotta say that a box truck is surely not going to increase your attractiveness with those young, nubile, hotties you are hoping to hook up with. But a half assed sailboat that does not sail won't do the trick either.
Had to laugh at your comment about how a boat just leaves you stuck on all the harbors on all the coasts of the world. That is stuck? Sounds like freedom to me. And then you are going to take your box truck around the world. So romantic. ;) By the way, if you do get motor home, you can park in any walmart lot overnight. And the hotties are plentiful 'round those parts, I hear.

2hullvenus 06-09-2015 09:26

Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
 
Thank you.

Well put.

I just don't have anything left to put into this boat (not financially, but emotionally). My energy and enthusiasm for the boat are gone.

I flew back to it this weekend to check on it, charge batteries, etc.

I can't get anything done because I hate working on it at this point.

I can't put the extra year in knowing life is short and I'm wasting it on an inanimate object.

I have no money issues. I do about $200k in income. I have whatever asset this project boat is. I can afford anything I want, but I don't know what I want. :banghead:

No, I'm not rich, just normal 1%er stuff.



Quote:

Originally Posted by alansmith (Post 1908550)
2Hull, like one poster stated already...you already have the answers. You just don't like the answer you hear. Your personality, like mine, is a little bit on the indecisive side. Please don't be offended.


Listen to the old salts here. Life is like the ocean in many ways. A divorce is a storm of significant power. It has left you chasing your tail financially if what you wrote is readily understood. So, if the analogy is understood...what would you do next after being battered? You would make a plan on how to get your ship back to port and make repairs. You would wait for the high winds and lumpy seas to calm down. You would take a compass heading, allow for ship's state of disrepair, current, and prevailing wind conditions to reach safety.


You have no car, a boat that maybe beyond your reach financially to complete, growing medical issues with dealing with the toxic chemicals and fibers associated with fiberglass, probably no medical insurance, no formal job that has a set income to depend on, and you are beginning to understand that this boat is eating you alive.


You need to rediscover yourself and reinvent the goodness in you. Women are attracted to good looking men...for sure. But have you ever noticed all of the solid beauties are pretty much with average to below average looking men who have something to offer other than a swinging di-k. If you don't know this I will spell it out carefully for you. Women have a shelf life not only for their beauty but for their financial well being. I have several very good lady friends who are single. Known them for long time. It is a real issue for them. It preys on their minds. I have had them over to my house with new boyfriends that are gone shortly thereafter when they find out they have no real life plan and no real financial security. Both of these women are good looking "hotties"...they do not want a stud or anything close to it. They want to be respected, treated kindly, a friendship that is real, and to know that they have a roof over their heads and butter on the bread when they are little old ladies. It really is not much more complex than that.


One thing that comes to mind is that you had a business as charter boat operators. I am sure you were planning something like this with your own boat that you are trying to bring up to snuff. Why not advertise for a female shipmate to cook and you operate a charter with her and split the proceeds? During the off season you work on your boat with her till you can get it in service. Promise her, and keep it, to build your business in the Carib or Mexico, or Thailand....where ever. There are women who might just take that bait. It plays to your strong suit and has adventure, business building opportunity, and takes a dedicated team to accomplish it in a very competitive game. It might take you another 5 years or more to financially accomplish the rebuild...but it is a start and is doable.


Going around the country playing with women is about as stupid a game as there is. Have some respect for yourself. Any woman worth her salt would sniff that game out in a heartbeat. Only the stupid ones would buy into that. Is that what you want? I am sure you wouldn't want that kind of a woman for long...and even the stupid ones have feelings and a heart. Be kind....be kind


Hardhead 06-09-2015 09:35

Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
 
I'd say move to a metropolitan area on the coast. Good chance of finding fellow water lovers, and if you're not opposed, a lot of young women working service industry jobs that may not have a huge problem leaving for an adventure.

I agree about the shelf life for both men and women, better to get a relationship established sooner rather than later. One thing to bear in mind is 25 rear old women may not mind being with a 42 year old guy, but later down the line, a 42 year old women may not like the long term idea of being hooked up to a 60 year old guy. My feeling is always keep that in mind, and find someone in the same age bracket, so you don't find yourself out on your ass at 60.

Good luck, always takes some directed effort to get your life back on track after a divorce-

2hullvenus 06-09-2015 09:37

Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Wendi (Post 1908558)
As a single woman, I gotta say that a box truck is surely not going to increase your attractiveness with those young, nubile, hotties you are hoping to hook up with. But a half assed sailboat that does not sail won't do the trick either.
Had to laugh at your comment about how a boat just leaves you stuck on all the harbors on all the coasts of the world. That is stuck? Sounds like freedom to me. And then you are going to take your box truck around the world. So romantic. ;) By the way, if you do get motor home, you can park in any walmart lot overnight. And the hotties are plentiful 'round those parts, I hear.



You're not getting it.

The box truck is to allow me (just me), to go where my potential matches are and date them. Not to take them away in.

As far as picking up any dates, if required at all, I'd do what I do now. Rent a car.

The mobile apartment has absolutely zero impact on anyone's opinion as we first meet because nobody sees it.

I've never met any womnan who wasn't impressed with my former mobile apartment and it was tiny/ugly. Spent many weeks with various girls in their mid 20's over the past few years taking it to mountains, on 1000 mile road trips, into Canada, etc. All had a great time and wanted to continue. I had the damn boat to do though instead.

I'm not accepting closed minded women. Only open minded women who are up for adventure.

Exploring your state, for example, is something I've never done and would enjoy.

I can always drive a mobile apartment to the seashore. Taking a catamaran that takes up a few highway lanes in width to Colorado? Not gonna happen.

brownoarsman 06-09-2015 09:38

Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Tellie (Post 1908496)
I've seen A Box truck nicer than a fully loaded RV? I'd have to see that to believe it. Maybe if you threw in a few boxed lunches


And a few zip ties and a gag? Seriously, what is creepier than traveling around the country in a box truck? Get something that doesn't sound so sketch.

Anyways, OP has it right on one thing; tinder, okcupid, hinge, etc. There is no stigma to online dating any more and quality women and men use it all the time to avoid crappy bar room small talk and creepy people.


Sent from my iPhone using Cruisers Sailing Forum

Red Herring 06-09-2015 09:38

Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
 
Look at the inside of the woman first. If she is a hottie, great, if not, no matter. Looks are mostly fleeting and what matters is how you get along in real life. Will she be great company and caring and loving for the rest of your days. Will she put up with your **** and idiosyncrasies? That is so much more important than looks. But if you want to be a player with young hotties, buy a condo and a Jag.

2hullvenus 06-09-2015 09:47

Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by brownoarsman (Post 1908567)
And a few zip ties and a gag? Seriously, what is creepier than traveling around the country in a box truck? Get something that doesn't sound so sketch.

Anyways, OP has it right on one thing; tinder, okcupid, hinge, etc. There is no stigma to online dating any more and quality women and men use it all the time to avoid crappy bar room small talk and creepy people.


Sent from my iPhone using Cruisers Sailing Forum



For clarity... this is the "box truck" I'd get. I think it looks nice... no?

https://i1.wp.com/morganolson.com/wp-...0/UDV_Main.jpg

brownoarsman 06-09-2015 09:52

Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
 
At least it has a real door! :)
Carve out some windows and you may be in business!
I can't really judge since I used to live in a westfalia while working summer construction projects as a kid, but since it's a Mercedes ... :)


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