Cruisers & Sailing Forums (https://www.cruisersforum.com/forums/)
-   Liveaboard's Forum (https://www.cruisersforum.com/forums/f74/)
-   -   Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look. (https://www.cruisersforum.com/forums/f74/single-men-living-aboard-and-cruising-an-honest-look-152569.html)

Olddan1943 02-01-2018 15:43

Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by weavis (Post 2547511)
Thats it!

Im getting me a dog.....

:thumb:

Make a companion dog and you can even take it inside for dinner and movies. SMIRK
I'm not to sure if your new dog will want to go dancing. Gotta discuss that with the dog.

Olddan1943 02-01-2018 15:51

Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by weavis (Post 2547511)
Thats it!

Im getting me a dog.....

:thumb:

It was Harry Truman who said, "If you want a friend (in DC) get a dog."

Beginning to should like the best advice. I will just have to train him to come wake me if the auto pilot goes haywire or something enters into the warning area of the RADAR.

weavis 02-01-2018 15:54

Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
 
Sorted

https://yachtpals.com/files/imagecach...g-boat-dog.jpg

Pelagic 02-01-2018 16:50

Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by weavis (Post 2547446)

But thanks anyway.... finding a good Filipina is not as easy as one would think... the attachment to family and expectations of the man to help with paying for them is a difficult one....but when you find a good one... she is the best.

:thumb:

I found a GREAT ONE thirteen years ago after choosing badly with 2 in the prior 5 years.

I sort of started with a list for the first 2 but then realized, its all about Values......
and where better to look than within the immediate family for those desired traits?

If you see honesty, self sufficient independence, work ethic, a stubborn pride in self worth as common traits amongst the family plus a very tight and still romantic relationship between the mother and father.....your odds will go up greatly

In 13 years, I've helped the family to help themselves, but never once gave them charity.

No more than I would have done with a western family who were financially weak....and probably much less.

cyan 02-01-2018 17:12

Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Pelagic (Post 2547558)
I found a GREAT ONE thirteen years ago after choosing badly with 2 in the prior 5 years.

I smell a good story here!
In a thread with "Single Men" in the title, I surprised we haven't heard more tales about SE Asia that start out with:
"Had I only known about this place when I was younger..."
I know there are a few ex-pats on this forum that have exactly that kind of valuable information, and I'm not talking about the gogo bars. I suppose this stuff is better shared over sundowners anyway...

Olddan1943 02-01-2018 17:38

Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by weavis (Post 2547522)

Does that dog have an equally trained other dog?

sailorboy1 02-01-2018 17:49

Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
 
Explains a lot of things

Pelagic 02-01-2018 18:28

Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by cyan (Post 2547567)

I am surprised we haven't heard more tales about SE Asia that start out with:.

The problem with most tales is that they are prone to exaggeration...

Add to that the gross stereotyping that many men who only visit the bar scene, view all SE Asian women and I would find thier comments extremely offensive in a new thread!

Those idiots just dont get how loving and caring a partner they could find.....if they just only reciprocated with an added dose of respect.

The Me To and Never Again movements have no idea the crap Asian women have to put up with

daletournier 02-01-2018 20:35

Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by weavis (Post 2547500)
Its hard to be sure about real feelings though when that is the criteria. :thumb:

This criteria dosent just apply to Asian partners. It's naive to believe that all western partners are just in it for "love".

gamayun 02-01-2018 21:59

Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by weavis (Post 2547446)
What??!!
I make an off the cuff comment and I'm besieged with advice. :whistling:
Thats funny....:smile:

Ahh, but we're here to fix ya, Weavis. Work with us now.

cyan 03-01-2018 12:31

Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Pelagic (Post 2547590)
The problem with most tales is that they are prone to exaggeration...

Add to that the gross stereotyping that many men who only visit the bar scene, view all SE Asian women and I would find thier comments extremely offensive in a new thread!

Those idiots just dont get how loving and caring a partner they could find.....if they just only reciprocated with an added dose of respect.

The Me To and Never Again movements have no idea the crap Asian women have to put up with

You bring up very good points!

However, if you could weed out those bad guys (and bad places) that exploit women, and instead simply collect the words from such happy couples (Western man / Asian woman), you might find what I found...

There seems to be something magical underneath these good relationships that is the wonderful opposite of a culture clash. The man literally takes care of his woman in a way she was never accustomed to. The woman literally takes care of her man in a way he was never accustomed to. Good-good, no?

This is the "secret" I alluded to earlier. There are all kinds of caveats, but I often heard similar anecdotes from (formerly single) ex-pats during my years in SE Asia. "Had I only known years ago" is a common phrase. A thread about "Singe Men" and "Cruising" would be lacking without at least a hint of the secret happiness found by many single men who wandered away from their own culture.

Why is this a modern secret? I think we cannot discuss a beautiful truth of this nature before words like "stereotype" get flung around in anger. People incorrectly assume the bar scene and exploitation is always a motivation, missing the good stuff.

Let's just leave it a secret.

gamayun 03-01-2018 13:30

Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by cyan (Post 2548012)
You bring up very good points!

However, if you could weed out those bad guys (and bad places) that exploit women, and instead simply collect the words from such happy couples (Western man / Asian woman), you might find what I found...

There seems to be something magical underneath these good relationships that is the wonderful opposite of a culture clash. The man literally takes care of his woman in a way she was never accustomed to. The woman literally takes care of her man in a way he was never accustomed to. Good-good, no?

This is the "secret" I alluded to earlier. There are all kinds of caveats, but I often heard similar anecdotes from (formerly single) ex-pats during my years in SE Asia. "Had I only known years ago" is a common phrase. A thread about "Singe Men" and "Cruising" would be lacking without at least a hint of the secret happiness found by many single men who wandered away from their own culture.

Why is this a modern secret? I think we cannot discuss a beautiful truth of this nature before words like "stereotype" get flung around in anger. People incorrectly assume the bar scene and exploitation is always a motivation, missing the good stuff.

Let's just leave it a secret.

This "modern secret" must be something lost in translation to my Western (French/American) upbringing as an independent, opinionated, and educated woman. I simply won't take the bite on this posting :whistling:

cyan 03-01-2018 14:18

Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by gamayun (Post 2548038)
This "modern secret" must be something lost in translation to my Western (French/American) upbringing as an independent, opinionated, and educated woman. I simply won't take the bite on this posting :whistling:

No fishing intended here.
We can all agree the world is a much better place with women who are independent, opinionated and educated!
My respect.

This was just a word to guys here from some other guys who found happiness, and those same other guys lamenting: "Had I only known"
No disrespect intended.

gamayun 03-01-2018 15:59

Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by cyan (Post 2548070)
No fishing intended here.
We can all agree the world is a much better place with women who are independent, opinionated and educated!
My respect.

This was just a word to guys here from some other guys who found happiness, and those same other guys lamenting: "Had I only known"
No disrespect intended.

Appreciate that, Cyan. Well then, I will bite. Everyone has their own criteria of what will make a good partner for them. For me, I never wanted someone to "take care of me" in that chivalrous way most men think their women want (and what I think you're implying). But I'm different from most females, and I understand that, too. I should not generalize. I certainly won't demean you or other Western Men with Asian Women who have found happiness based on true mutual respect, integrity, and openness. I guess where some of us might roll our eyes is that women from economically depressed areas may look upon Western men as their ticket to a better life, and many have been raised in a culture that has taught them to be subservient to men. Again, if it works, it works, but I wonder how much is truly free will on the part of the woman although ulterior motives are not culture-specific, as previous posts have certainly pointed out. I hope this is conveyed in the way I meant it -- it is certainly not meant to be critical. I just remain skeptical when someone says "Asian women are X" or "Western Women are Y."

Maybe this is where I was headed in that convoluted point -- take any young, uneducated woman (of any culture) outside of her poor environment and treat her well, and you're likely to have a faithful companion. I just find it hard to believe that is solely an Asian thing.

JPA Cate 03-01-2018 18:03

Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
 
Gamayun, that last paragraph would be true for dogs as well as humans! Not saying you're wrong, but just sayin'. Kindness can be very effective.

Here's something I think. Some women, regardless of culture, are brought up to bring pleasure to those whom they encounter. Women who are not brought up to do it may or may not invent it for themselves, and that will depend on a great many variables.

Ann


All times are GMT -7. The time now is 21:18.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8 Beta 1
Copyright ©2000 - 2021, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.


ShowCase vBulletin Plugins by Drive Thru Online, Inc.