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-   -   Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look. (https://www.cruisersforum.com/forums/f74/single-men-living-aboard-and-cruising-an-honest-look-152569.html)

Exile 22-10-2017 11:42

Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Olddan1943 (Post 2504268)
My 'lovely' stepmother, aka 'the wicked witch of the west', 'milked' my father like a dairy cow. Solutions? He outlived her.

Huh, usually it's the other way around and hubby dies first. Not on account of genetics or lifestyle, but because he wants to. :smile:

Exile 22-10-2017 11:47

Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by uncle stinkybob (Post 2504301)
I got a dog, no problems in the relationship so far.........

......... and none in the communications I bet. My dog has zero issues communicating to me both his needs and his wants, and I have no problem responding to his satisfaction.

uncle stinkybob 22-10-2017 11:53

Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Exile (Post 2504315)
......... and none in the communications I bet. My dog has zero issues communicating to me both his needs and his wants, and I have no problem responding to his satisfaction.

Exactly, tons of love and devotion is the return. oh ya, no chance of divorce so no price tag on that love and devotion.

Pelagic 22-10-2017 11:59

Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Exile (Post 2504315)
......... and none in the communications I bet. My dog has zero issues communicating to me both his needs and his wants, and I have no problem responding to his satisfaction.

Reminds me of a joke...
Two guys, Jim and Fred, walking along the street see a dog licking its balls.

Jim says. ...Wish I could do that.....

Fred suggests.... Maybe if you ask nice, he'll let you...

Olddan1943 22-10-2017 11:59

Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
 
Have we heard input from the ladies?

Olddan1943 22-10-2017 12:03

Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Pelagic (Post 2504319)
Reminds me of a joke...
Two guys, Jim and Fred, walking along the street see a dog licking its balls.

Jim says. ...Wish I could do that.....

Fred suggests.... Maybe if you ask nice, he'll let you...

OR
If you try, he might bite you.

uncle stinkybob 22-10-2017 12:03

Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Pelagic (Post 2504319)
Reminds me of a joke...
Two guys, Jim and Fred, walking along the street see a dog licking its balls.

Jim says. ...Wish I could do that.....

Fred suggests.... Maybe if you ask nice, he'll let you...

Thats disgusting, besides he's been clipped. HA HA HA

goat 22-10-2017 12:42

Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
 
"It has always amused me that on return from a long voyage I am an immediate expert on loneliness, which bears no relationship at all to being alone. Loneliness is caused by people and places and the real experts are the old-age pensioners who wonder why the children call only once a fortnight and then can't wait to leave; the people with families who wake up one morning to find they have nothing, not even each other. Loneliness is staring into other people's windows at Christmas time, and thrives in railway stations, in airports and divorce courts, but you are never lonely because you are alone. How little people know about themselves surprises me. Few have been alone for more than a few hours, and yet claim they could never survive so many weeks at sea because they confuse missing someone with being alone and lonely. I do not miss my family and friends because I simply took them with me and had time to remember them and what they said, which is no different than re-reading a good book. Indeed in some strange way I became even closer to them at sea."
Les Powles
Solitaire Spirit

I came across this paragraph in Les' book and wondered how many others get this.

O.K. back to your regularly scheduled opposite sex bashing.

goat

JPA Cate 22-10-2017 12:54

Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
 
There is not a great deal of participation in this thread by women, and that may be as it should be.

It is not one I belong in very much because Jim and I are in a committed relationship: it is the second for both of us. We met through sailing on a mutual friend's boat, when Jim had a boat, and I had been crewing with a number of different skippers. Having been married for 20 years and divorced, I was reluctant to enter into a marital relationship again. He, too, had been burned in a non-amicable divorce. All the scary issues that break relationships are stuff we talked about together. I try to help based on my life experience.

Meanwhile, you have gamayun, zeehag, Chichi, and some others who are content to drop in and offer their input. Fwiw, I fit in the group gamayun suggested you could find independent women: out there living according to their means. Women, however often receive less pay for work equivalent to men's. It's still true, and it is one source of imbalance in relationships. When I learned how much more (about double per annum) that Jim and his friends earned, my first reaction was to apply for a new job that would bring me closer to parity. Didn't get it, as it happens. But for a single woman, that need to continue working to provide for her retirement is a need that has to be met somehow. It's a real need, and it's good that some of you guys see that. She can't be your best friend if she's miles away working for her retirement.

Ann

Olddan1943 22-10-2017 13:11

Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by JPA Cate (Post 2504349)
It's a real need, and it's good that some of you guys see that. She can't be your best friend if she's miles away working for her retirement.

Ann

For my last ex-wife I paid half of the amount so she could get early retirement.
Interestedly, she expected me to pay it all. When I said NO, she reconsidered.

boatpoker 22-10-2017 13:25

Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
 
I have had two women in my life. I was married to my first wife for 42 years, we met at 15yrs. old. After she passed away I met Sharon and started over.
In both cases I had (as did they) absolute faith in their qualities as a person. There is no 60/40 or 50/50. Each of us owns 100% of everything, material and temporal.

It's not about how much she or he is worth and how to divvy up assets. It's about sharing common values. humor, dreams, aspirations, scruples and morals. it's about total commitment. If you go into a relationship with a plan on how to protect yourself ... it ain't gonna work.

You reap what you sow ...... period.

Nicor 22-10-2017 13:26

Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by JPA Cate (Post 2504349)
There is not a great deal of participation in this thread by women, and that may be as it should be.

It is not one I belong in very much because Jim and I are in a committed relationship: it is the second for both of us. We met through sailing on a mutual friend's boat, when Jim had a boat, and I had been crewing with a number of different skippers. Having been married for 20 years and divorced, I was reluctant to enter into a marital relationship again. He, too, had been burned in a non-amicable divorce. All the scary issues that break relationships are stuff we talked about together. I try to help based on my life experience.

Meanwhile, you have gamayun, zeehag, Chichi, and some others who are content to drop in and offer their input. Fwiw, I fit in the group gamayun suggested you could find independent women: out there living according to their means. Women, however often receive less pay for work equivalent to men's. It's still true, and it is one source of imbalance in relationships. When I learned how much more (about double per annum) that Jim and his friends earned, my first reaction was to apply for a new job that would bring me closer to parity. Didn't get it, as it happens. But for a single woman, that need to continue working to provide for her retirement is a need that has to be met somehow. It's a real need, and it's good that some of you guys see that. She can't be your best friend if she's miles away working for her retirement.

Ann

Ann brings up a very good point that has not been brought up.
Seems that some/most of the posts assume both had the same income or was expecting that to some extent.

--------------

Regarding the other post about want/need, not for me.
Divorced for 20 years and not even thinking about wanting a 'partner' as was defined before in a previous post here. Crew member, yes, maybe, will know when its time to slip the mooring.

In a previous post i made about seeing some sights and no one to share it with, I just don't know. Doesn't have to be a 'partner', just someone that is as interested in exploring and seeing new sites.

<edit>
Let me this to that, the sailboat and it's expenses are still mine and mine only.
To me letting her pay for any of those expenses takes some ownership away from me, even if she is not on the title.

Depending on the length of the trip, more than likely i would pay for eats and such.
But never any of her cloths.
Eats brings up another thing, which would take too long.
To put it simple, my tastes in foods is simple.

Nicor 22-10-2017 13:32

Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by boatpoker (Post 2504367)
I have had two women in my life. I was married to my first wife for 42 years, we met at 15yrs. old. After she passed away I met Sharon and started over.
In both cases I had (as did they) absolute faith in their qualities as a person. There is no 60/40 or 50/50. Each of us owns 100% of everything, material and temporal.

It's not about how much she or he is worth and how to divvy up assets. It's about sharing common values. humor, dreams, aspirations, scruples and morals. it's about total commitment. If you go into a relationship with a plan on how to protect yourself ... it ain't gonna work.

You reap what you sow ...... period.

That's true for partners, but this is about single men living and cruising aboard.

JPA Cate 22-10-2017 13:34

Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by boatpoker (Post 2504367)
I have had two women in my life. I was married to my first wife for 42 years, we met at 15yrs. old. After she passed away I met Sharon and started over.
In both cases I had (as did they) absolute faith in their qualities as a person. There is no 60/40 or 50/50. Each of us owns 100% of everything, material and temporal.

It's not about how much she or he is worth and how to divvy up assets. It's about sharing common values. humor, dreams, aspirations, scruples and morals. it's about total commitment. If you go into a relationship with a plan on how to protect yourself ... it ain't gonna work.

You reap what you sow ...... period.

Good on ya boat poker. I can't begin to express how much I agree, especially with this part: "It's not about how much she or he is worth and how to divvy up assets. It's about sharing common values. humor, dreams, aspirations, scruples and morals. it's about total commitment."

Bye for now, guys.

Ann

foggysail 22-10-2017 13:53

Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Pelagic (Post 2499325)
If you are considering an age where that is an issue......you have some serious problems



Come on! The poster was trying to get a chuckle from the readers. I used to tell friends that I would like to go out with some very young kid...........about 40!


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