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-   -   Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look. (https://www.cruisersforum.com/forums/f74/single-men-living-aboard-and-cruising-an-honest-look-152569.html)

Olddan1943 14-10-2017 17:59

Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Lost Horizons (Post 2499308)
To stay out of jail?

Even at my advanced age, I am still too pretty to go to prison. CHUCKLE

Nicor 14-10-2017 18:06

Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
 
I dont want a relationship like it seems like most of the men on this thread want.

Be nice to some female close to my age that just wants to explore different lands.
(and dont y'all dare turn that meaning around).

No baggage as in children want to run home to mommy so she has to go back.
No baggage as in she is a hoarder and likes to collect so much junk there is not enough room for stores required to sail.

Carat 14-10-2017 18:51

Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
 
I can't understand why more women don't want to take off and sail the world. Life is short and it's not all about making money and hoarding nice things that just take up space in life.

To me, a kind, intelligent, chivalrous man is worth more than a fat bank account. And, don't need money to look good sun bathing on a boat.

john61ct 14-10-2017 19:02

Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
 
To be cynical, a sailor's best earning days are in the past, the nest egg and residual income are fixed, and that boat shaped hole in the water we throw boat bucks into can be pretty bottomless.

The really big fish fly down to visit their crewed ship a few weeks a year, now that sounds more like it.

There are young and pretty willing to rough it for a while for the right hot guy. The older ones usually like to be comfortable, risky adventures maybe not so much.

Pelagic 14-10-2017 19:05

Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
 
Carat, I am guessing that a woman who had children may feel somewhat more compromised in their desire to take off.

Many of the women I know who embraced the cruising life , never had kids......
Probably the same with guys like myself, who knew what they wanted and purposely decided not to become a father.

Carat 14-10-2017 19:16

Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
 
I agree Pelagic. It's easier to embrace the sail life without kids. I find it easier, as I haven't any kids. My sister likes boats, but she has no desire to cruise. They do have a lake house and bass boat, but no desire to explore the world right now.

SURV69 15-10-2017 05:48

Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
 
Yeh, but most of those fatcats are NOT into the sailing lifestyle. They may fly a private jet to the sailboat, but they return after a day or two ... or maybe go for a few hundred mile sail.

I think most here are talking about livable incomes, a decent sailboat and not so much a dream of going from point A to point B, but rather somewhat rambling on the waters much like an R'veyer rambles over the land.

I say the rambling thing is the first thing that's a problem. It's hard for a woman to leave children, grandchildren and the great grandchild who's expected in a few months. I'm not sure, but maybe, even though men(politics) tend to the movers of a society, women seem to be more personally involved with society and/or family.

Think about it ..."Honey, let's put a Tiny House on a boat hull and take off, living in cramped quarters, often feeling deep down wet, rocking and rolling and traveling over the endless sea to places we'll decide on.

In life, there aren't many takers ... unless it's for a weekend ... and then only maybe.

daletournier 15-10-2017 06:15

Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Pelagic (Post 2499362)
Carat, I am guessing that a woman who had children may feel somewhat more compromised in their desire to take off.

Many of the women I know who embraced the cruising life , never had kids......
Probably the same with guys like myself, who knew what they wanted and purposely decided not to become a father.

Very true. I also chose not to have children this gives me freedom to roam wherever. Most women I know have kids. It's natural that kids come first. I worked out some time back that a woman wants to be number one in your life but you will always be number 2,3 or 4 in there's depending on how many kids they have... It's only natural.

Kids, and grandkids and land based comfort are very strong anchors for most women.

The other thing I find is most of the women I've had onboard have little money, I have enough to live comfortably but the moment I'm supporting someone else, which is always, I'm not quite as comfortable. It would be nice to have a female partner bring as much to the table as I am. Interpret that anyway you want, and it's not sexist it's just my experience.

Also the comment regarding some of these posts being offensive, I disagree, men are entitled to their views and preferences even if they are political incorrect (to a point obviously) . Wanting a younger woman is no different from a woman wanting a rich man.

Olddan1943 15-10-2017 06:36

Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
 
I dated a lady from Mexico until her first grandchild. Understandably, she never came back to the boat. I gave up waiting after two+ years.

BandB 15-10-2017 06:41

Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
 
None of this is unique to cruising. As one gets older, the ability to meet becomes a lot more complicated when it should be simpler. We all get more set in our ways. Also everyone in the meeting/dating scene has flaws. They're not this or that or this or that. As if we don't have our own flaws. Many as they age get more set in their ways and less flexible, less receptive to change.

I've heard from both men and women in referencing others around their ages, "they act so old." Now that one I'm sure hits many boaters. You want to get out and live and others your age want to stay home and be comfortable. Nothing wrong with either, but they don't mix.

Unfortunately, none of this is unique to singles either. I see couples that have been together for decades, but now he is out cruising and she's staying at home and for all practical purposes they're both single again, just getting together on "dates" periodically.

But then look at relationships in general. The reality is the entire concept of pairing and marriage is surviving only half the time and truly working a very small percentage.

Part of the problem is being honest in what one wants. The younger generations seem to handle that better than older. They're not afraid as much to admit what they want and don't want. We laugh at some of the personal ads, yet in many ways they're the most honest as to what one is looking for, just not as to what one is themselves.

Our recommendations to friends is to not look beyond the first date, or in this case, the first time out on the boat. Don't start planning the future when you don't even know the present. I hear people say after one day "I think he/she could be the one" when the only real question is do they want a second date. Now applying this to cruising. Don't start with "do you want to go sail around the world and be gone 5 years?" Start with, "Would you like to go sailing on Saturday?" Also, as you age, don't always think it must be happily ever after or madly in love, but sometimes just pleasant company is great.

I've been rightfully accused of liking younger women. When I was 30, I married my wife who was just turning 22 on our wedding day. Now we're 47 and 38. We have a lot of younger friends. But then we have two female friends who are 51 and 53 and they're as full of life as any 30 year old.

Sometimes on feels helpless, that they'll never find anyone to enjoy things with. Well, it takes a bit of a telemarketer attitude that each call of no sale gets them closer to a sale. You're not looking for a group of people who match up to you, not surveying the entire opposite sex. You only need one hit, one that fits and is right for you. A bit like a needle in a haystack sometimes but still worth the effort.

Nicor 15-10-2017 06:50

Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
 
'looks' in a woman is not that high on my priority list. Actually probably down at the very bottom of list. Must be physical fit though and not being materialistic.

What is really import is actually having a desire to learn or knowing how to sail.
If she knows more (would not take much) than me, that would be great.

The ones here that one to sail with some younger (there are older ones also) men/women, to me that is asking for trouble. Meaning that is the age group that might think doing drugs are not that bad of a thing. How do you do know they will not stuff something in their bag and bring aboard. Prescription meds fall into the same category because of going through customs (paper work required).

As BandB stated "but sometimes just pleasant company is great."

Carat 15-10-2017 07:29

Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Blue Crab (Post 2499062)
Ok. Handsome living aboard vagabond, 75, seeking younger woman with brains.
Yer turn.:flowers:

Younger, yes, but brains...eh, not sure. Friends are telling me I'm stupid for wanting to move on to a boat and cruise. Of course, poor comments at my expense are coming from friends who punch time clocks and go home at night to stare at their zombie box.

daletournier 15-10-2017 09:25

Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Carat (Post 2499572)
Younger, yes, but brains...eh, not sure. Friends are telling me I'm stupid for wanting to move on to a boat and cruise. Of course, poor comments at my expense are coming from friends who punch time clocks and go home at night to stare at their zombie box.

Your friends are living the definition of insanity IMHO. Today I walked along a beautiful beach, scuba dived and just had a very interesting dinner and conversation with a Nigerian guy while anchored off a beautiful bay (Beau Vallon) in the Seychelles. I don't think you're stupid.

Nicor 15-10-2017 09:44

Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
 
Too many people have a set thinking/attitude on what constitutes a 'life'.
I know there is a better word to use, but don't know it.

Like two cars, a house and deep in debt.
Which you really never own.

BandB 15-10-2017 09:57

Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Nicor (Post 2499679)
Too many people have a set thinking/attitude on what constitutes a 'life'.
I know there is a better word to use, but don't know it.

Like two cars, a house and deep in debt.
Which you really never own.

Has society really changed from this?

60. Tennessee Ernie Ford, 'Sixteen Tons' (1955) | 100 Greatest Country Songs of All Time | Rolling Stone


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