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-   -   Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look. (https://www.cruisersforum.com/forums/f74/single-men-living-aboard-and-cruising-an-honest-look-152569.html)

alansmith 06-09-2015 09:14

Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
 
2Hull, like one poster stated already...you already have the answers. You just don't like the answer you hear. Your personality, like mine, is a little bit on the indecisive side. Please don't be offended.


Listen to the old salts here. Life is like the ocean in many ways. A divorce is a storm of significant power. It has left you chasing your tail financially if what you wrote is readily understood. So, if the analogy is understood...what would you do next after being battered? You would make a plan on how to get your ship back to port and make repairs. You would wait for the high winds and lumpy seas to calm down. You would take a compass heading, allow for ship's state of disrepair, current, and prevailing wind conditions to reach safety.


You have no car, a boat that maybe beyond your reach financially to complete, growing medical issues with dealing with the toxic chemicals and fibers associated with fiberglass, probably no medical insurance, no formal job that has a set income to depend on, and you are beginning to understand that this boat is eating you alive.


You need to rediscover yourself and reinvent the goodness in you. Women are attracted to good looking men...for sure. But have you ever noticed all of the solid beauties are pretty much with average to below average looking men who have something to offer other than a swinging di-k. If you don't know this I will spell it out carefully for you. Women have a shelf life not only for their beauty but for their financial well being. I have several very good lady friends who are single. Known them for long time. It is a real issue for them. It preys on their minds. I have had them over to my house with new boyfriends that are gone shortly thereafter when they find out they have no real life plan and no real financial security. Both of these women are good looking "hotties"...they do not want a stud or anything close to it. They want to be respected, treated kindly, a friendship that is real, and to know that they have a roof over their heads and butter on the bread when they are little old ladies. It really is not much more complex than that.


One thing that comes to mind is that you had a business as charter boat operators. I am sure you were planning something like this with your own boat that you are trying to bring up to snuff. Why not advertise for a female shipmate to cook and you operate a charter with her and split the proceeds? During the off season you work on your boat with her till you can get it in service. Promise her, and keep it, to build your business in the Carib or Mexico, or Thailand....where ever. There are women who might just take that bait. It plays to your strong suit and has adventure, business building opportunity, and takes a dedicated team to accomplish it in a very competitive game. It might take you another 5 years or more to financially accomplish the rebuild...but it is a start and is doable.


Going around the country playing with women is about as stupid a game as there is. Have some respect for yourself. Any woman worth her salt would sniff that game out in a heartbeat. Only the stupid ones would buy into that. Is that what you want? I am sure you wouldn't want that kind of a woman for long...and even the stupid ones have feelings and a heart. Be kind....be kind

2hullvenus 06-09-2015 09:19

Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by PortClydeMe (Post 1908547)
I shouldn't argue this with you, but I will ... for a moment. Snap Chat and Instagram are NOT the right places. Try a nice art museum, and look for the women with GOOD fashion sense and REAL pearls.

Finally, if your ducks are super "mofo" lined, then sell the project cat, fly first class to Newport, Rhode Island, buy a big beach house with a dock, mooring, a new 50'-foot cat, and a new Porsche to cruise to the coffee shops each morning. You'll find some quality women there. I guarantee that they will say "YES!" when you ask "Want to go sailing for six months?"

Ha ha ha! Touché

I'm not that "ducks in a row" :biggrin:

Just normal 1%er stuff.

Honestly, I don't actually like stuffy women like you are describing. I can certainly understand how that would work if you are into those types though.

I do enjoy my snapchat/Instagram types. I like em fun, with a youthful spirit. Just a better match. The only art I currently do is Art Basel in Miami with my Snapchat/Instagram types.

Wendi 06-09-2015 09:24

Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
 
As a single woman, I gotta say that a box truck is surely not going to increase your attractiveness with those young, nubile, hotties you are hoping to hook up with. But a half assed sailboat that does not sail won't do the trick either.
Had to laugh at your comment about how a boat just leaves you stuck on all the harbors on all the coasts of the world. That is stuck? Sounds like freedom to me. And then you are going to take your box truck around the world. So romantic. ;) By the way, if you do get motor home, you can park in any walmart lot overnight. And the hotties are plentiful 'round those parts, I hear.

2hullvenus 06-09-2015 09:26

Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
 
Thank you.

Well put.

I just don't have anything left to put into this boat (not financially, but emotionally). My energy and enthusiasm for the boat are gone.

I flew back to it this weekend to check on it, charge batteries, etc.

I can't get anything done because I hate working on it at this point.

I can't put the extra year in knowing life is short and I'm wasting it on an inanimate object.

I have no money issues. I do about $200k in income. I have whatever asset this project boat is. I can afford anything I want, but I don't know what I want. :banghead:

No, I'm not rich, just normal 1%er stuff.



Quote:

Originally Posted by alansmith (Post 1908550)
2Hull, like one poster stated already...you already have the answers. You just don't like the answer you hear. Your personality, like mine, is a little bit on the indecisive side. Please don't be offended.


Listen to the old salts here. Life is like the ocean in many ways. A divorce is a storm of significant power. It has left you chasing your tail financially if what you wrote is readily understood. So, if the analogy is understood...what would you do next after being battered? You would make a plan on how to get your ship back to port and make repairs. You would wait for the high winds and lumpy seas to calm down. You would take a compass heading, allow for ship's state of disrepair, current, and prevailing wind conditions to reach safety.


You have no car, a boat that maybe beyond your reach financially to complete, growing medical issues with dealing with the toxic chemicals and fibers associated with fiberglass, probably no medical insurance, no formal job that has a set income to depend on, and you are beginning to understand that this boat is eating you alive.


You need to rediscover yourself and reinvent the goodness in you. Women are attracted to good looking men...for sure. But have you ever noticed all of the solid beauties are pretty much with average to below average looking men who have something to offer other than a swinging di-k. If you don't know this I will spell it out carefully for you. Women have a shelf life not only for their beauty but for their financial well being. I have several very good lady friends who are single. Known them for long time. It is a real issue for them. It preys on their minds. I have had them over to my house with new boyfriends that are gone shortly thereafter when they find out they have no real life plan and no real financial security. Both of these women are good looking "hotties"...they do not want a stud or anything close to it. They want to be respected, treated kindly, a friendship that is real, and to know that they have a roof over their heads and butter on the bread when they are little old ladies. It really is not much more complex than that.


One thing that comes to mind is that you had a business as charter boat operators. I am sure you were planning something like this with your own boat that you are trying to bring up to snuff. Why not advertise for a female shipmate to cook and you operate a charter with her and split the proceeds? During the off season you work on your boat with her till you can get it in service. Promise her, and keep it, to build your business in the Carib or Mexico, or Thailand....where ever. There are women who might just take that bait. It plays to your strong suit and has adventure, business building opportunity, and takes a dedicated team to accomplish it in a very competitive game. It might take you another 5 years or more to financially accomplish the rebuild...but it is a start and is doable.


Going around the country playing with women is about as stupid a game as there is. Have some respect for yourself. Any woman worth her salt would sniff that game out in a heartbeat. Only the stupid ones would buy into that. Is that what you want? I am sure you wouldn't want that kind of a woman for long...and even the stupid ones have feelings and a heart. Be kind....be kind


Hardhead 06-09-2015 09:35

Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
 
I'd say move to a metropolitan area on the coast. Good chance of finding fellow water lovers, and if you're not opposed, a lot of young women working service industry jobs that may not have a huge problem leaving for an adventure.

I agree about the shelf life for both men and women, better to get a relationship established sooner rather than later. One thing to bear in mind is 25 rear old women may not mind being with a 42 year old guy, but later down the line, a 42 year old women may not like the long term idea of being hooked up to a 60 year old guy. My feeling is always keep that in mind, and find someone in the same age bracket, so you don't find yourself out on your ass at 60.

Good luck, always takes some directed effort to get your life back on track after a divorce-

2hullvenus 06-09-2015 09:37

Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Wendi (Post 1908558)
As a single woman, I gotta say that a box truck is surely not going to increase your attractiveness with those young, nubile, hotties you are hoping to hook up with. But a half assed sailboat that does not sail won't do the trick either.
Had to laugh at your comment about how a boat just leaves you stuck on all the harbors on all the coasts of the world. That is stuck? Sounds like freedom to me. And then you are going to take your box truck around the world. So romantic. ;) By the way, if you do get motor home, you can park in any walmart lot overnight. And the hotties are plentiful 'round those parts, I hear.



You're not getting it.

The box truck is to allow me (just me), to go where my potential matches are and date them. Not to take them away in.

As far as picking up any dates, if required at all, I'd do what I do now. Rent a car.

The mobile apartment has absolutely zero impact on anyone's opinion as we first meet because nobody sees it.

I've never met any womnan who wasn't impressed with my former mobile apartment and it was tiny/ugly. Spent many weeks with various girls in their mid 20's over the past few years taking it to mountains, on 1000 mile road trips, into Canada, etc. All had a great time and wanted to continue. I had the damn boat to do though instead.

I'm not accepting closed minded women. Only open minded women who are up for adventure.

Exploring your state, for example, is something I've never done and would enjoy.

I can always drive a mobile apartment to the seashore. Taking a catamaran that takes up a few highway lanes in width to Colorado? Not gonna happen.

brownoarsman 06-09-2015 09:38

Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Tellie (Post 1908496)
I've seen A Box truck nicer than a fully loaded RV? I'd have to see that to believe it. Maybe if you threw in a few boxed lunches


And a few zip ties and a gag? Seriously, what is creepier than traveling around the country in a box truck? Get something that doesn't sound so sketch.

Anyways, OP has it right on one thing; tinder, okcupid, hinge, etc. There is no stigma to online dating any more and quality women and men use it all the time to avoid crappy bar room small talk and creepy people.


Sent from my iPhone using Cruisers Sailing Forum

Red Herring 06-09-2015 09:38

Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
 
Look at the inside of the woman first. If she is a hottie, great, if not, no matter. Looks are mostly fleeting and what matters is how you get along in real life. Will she be great company and caring and loving for the rest of your days. Will she put up with your **** and idiosyncrasies? That is so much more important than looks. But if you want to be a player with young hotties, buy a condo and a Jag.

2hullvenus 06-09-2015 09:47

Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by brownoarsman (Post 1908567)
And a few zip ties and a gag? Seriously, what is creepier than traveling around the country in a box truck? Get something that doesn't sound so sketch.

Anyways, OP has it right on one thing; tinder, okcupid, hinge, etc. There is no stigma to online dating any more and quality women and men use it all the time to avoid crappy bar room small talk and creepy people.


Sent from my iPhone using Cruisers Sailing Forum



For clarity... this is the "box truck" I'd get. I think it looks nice... no?

https://i1.wp.com/morganolson.com/wp-...0/UDV_Main.jpg

brownoarsman 06-09-2015 09:52

Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
 
At least it has a real door! :)
Carve out some windows and you may be in business!
I can't really judge since I used to live in a westfalia while working summer construction projects as a kid, but since it's a Mercedes ... :)


Sent from my iPhone using Cruisers Sailing Forum

Tempest245 06-09-2015 09:54

Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
 
Well, what I wouldn't do, is trade one DIY project for another! Dump the boat, and Buy something ready to go. Be it a boat, an RV or whatever. It doesn't seem like there's a lot to think about. Step 1.) Get out from under this boat, which is an anchor to you.
Step 2.) Purchase your Mobile Pad 3.) Go

Remember that whereever you go, there you are. If the boat is your only issue then that's easy enough to solve. After that, you just have to cross each bridge as it comes.

MarinerJo 06-09-2015 10:01

Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
 
Stop whining. Sell the boat already, seriously. Life is too short and you OBVIOUSLY don't like working on it. You keep answering your own questions, man. A box truck for the Ladies?? Really??:facepalm:

tinkrman69 06-09-2015 10:02

Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
 
I'v been in lust many times and every time the relationship failed, some painfully. I've had two relationships built out of love. My soulmate, who has passed from this plane and the sea who I'm with now. I would love to find another soulmate to share my other love with. I don't know what she looks like or how old she is, but I do know that sharing lust with my other love doesn't work. Any positive memories are faint at best and most are absent. I wasn't actively looking for a partner when I met Francie, but the connection was instant and memories unforgettable. After she passed life was miserable. But then I reconnected with my other love, the sea. during the miserable time I got into three other relationships. Lust was my guiding light. God that sucked. Life lived in love has brought peace back into my life. Maybe I'll find another "soulmate" before I leave this plane or maybe not. I'll still have a lot of memories and continue to make more. I've learned that lust is shallow. I prefer to live deep.

PEACE LUV & HAPPINESS

CREX 06-09-2015 10:04

Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
 
Hi 2hullvenus,
Really understand your entire deal. Great empathy. Lots of solid advice given. My 2 cents: I did both. Found a love, 17 years strong now. She loved living on the boat, much smaller boat than yours, and loved sailing, but not a cruiser. So we bought a trailer and did work camping. Bought a nice motorcycle, for my need of wind, and travelled and worked. Found the camping community to be very much the same type of friendly folk as sailors. Money always an issue so bought a nice trailer sailor. C-27. Selling that now to upgrade my Goldwing. Will keep my Venture of Newport for fun. My point is I'm done with the tremendous increase in owning a big boat. Maybe you are too? Like to travel but true sailing woman are just not in abundance. Compromise no, simply Content with less to do more with a perfect love. I've sailed a lot of places, travelled the country and met so many cool people, have my personal ride to get away. Driving a motorcycle with or without my lady through places like Moab and Arches national park, Durango, entire Southwest, Rockies... is very satisfying and fills my somewhat emptiness of the open sea. I was a liveaboard 100 capt in Florida for years. I'm positioning again now and have learned boating, biking, camping, travelling in various ways is simply more fun than just the constant sailing grind. Versatility is the spice. Do it all brother! Sell big buy small and own your life and share your soul. Woman are everywhere and you can be too. Enjoy all the fruits, just don't become one. IMHO. Good luck...

2hullvenus 06-09-2015 10:05

Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Tempest245 (Post 1908576)
Well, what I wouldn't do, is trade one DIY project for another! Dump the boat, and Buy something ready to go. Be it a boat, an RV or whatever. It doesn't seem like there's a lot to think about. Step 1.) Get out from under this boat, which is an anchor to you.
Step 2.) Purchase your Mobile Pad 3.) Go

Remember that whereever you go, there you are. If the boat is your only issue then that's easy enough to solve. After that, you just have to cross each bridge as it comes.

Excellent advice.

Maybe a candidate for the "cheap multihulls and project boat" thread. :biggrin:

Going to step away from the thread a bit, sit back and really give everything said here some thought....


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