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-   -   Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look. (https://www.cruisersforum.com/forums/f74/single-men-living-aboard-and-cruising-an-honest-look-152569.html)

john61ct 24-12-2019 00:55

Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
 
Yes, has happened several times in my various lifetimes, very grateful indeed and mostly still good friends.

The big mistake IMO is the expectation that we should try to keep forcing it past its use-by date.

Pelagic 24-12-2019 01:22

Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by john61ct (Post 3042319)
Yes, has happened several times in my various lifetimes, very grateful indeed and mostly still good friends.

The big mistake IMO is the expectation that we should try to keep forcing it past its use-by date.

I gotta say john...... the term 'use-by' bothers me

weavis 24-12-2019 01:47

Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
 
:whistling:

And in the meantime, I have a cheeky little Indonesian coffee that is proving really nice...................:thumb:

john61ct 24-12-2019 02:29

Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Pelagic (Post 3042325)
I gotta say john...... the term 'use-by' bothers me

I believe in the US it's called an "expiration" date,

I just meant, past the point when the relationship has gone off, hopefully before you both can begin to detect the putrid stench of rot setting in.

is that better?

Bunji 24-12-2019 04:15

Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
 
MEN ON STRIKE. This tell it like it is (An Honest Look) book explains in more detail much of wot has been talked about. Helen (author) absolutely nails it

gamayun 24-12-2019 08:02

Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
 
Do you all hear that collective groan coming from CF? Do we really want to resurrect this thread? Seems everything that can be said, has been said, and mostly by the same people (no offense, of course!).

Except for having a cheeky little Indonesian coffee. That sounds marvelously titillating, Weavis ;)

flyingnut40 24-12-2019 08:18

Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
 
SEE, it didn't take that much to kick start a few of the faithful posters!!! LMAO!
Here in Canada it's a "BEST Before, not BAD After" date on our stuff!
Gamayun, you may recall..... that you popped in about the time that EclecticJoy so eloquently paralleled the process of finding a boat and partner and you said you thought you loved her!
As a personal aside, I am tying up a bunch of stuff like selling a house and buying a bigger boat and heading into retirement in the next 6 months and heading out..... somewhere...
I'll be starting alone as most of the land based sharks I have found are actually afraid of the water, so I need to get closer to salt water to see what bites!
The reason this thread has been interesting, unlike SSSSM (that only wakes up for a new member intro and then goes back to sleep) is that it actually gets posts!
Here's the dilemma from my perspective.
Perhaps, this next part is better done thru PM...….

JPA Cate 24-12-2019 12:26

Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
 
@flyingnut40,

In case it hasn't crossed your path as yet, if you click on someone's avatar, there's a dropdown menu, and two of the options are 1) send so and so a PM and 2) send so and so an e-mail. Right there at your fingertips, so to speak.

Ann

Bunji 24-12-2019 12:34

Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
 
Collective groan, No offence who u kidding. Denial is the best form of defence

flyingnut40 24-12-2019 12:38

Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
 
Ann, I seem to remember something about that...…. :-)

JPA Cate 24-12-2019 12:55

Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Bunji (Post 3042624)
Collective groan, No offence who u kidding. Denial is the best form of defence

Although it is a commonly used defense, use thereof does not earn one respect; and it prevents learning the skills to handle the situation more effectively.

Sorry, but I'm not good at humor over the internet, no attempt was made to "kid" someone. "Just the facts, Ma'am," sort of deal.

Ann

owly 24-12-2019 17:42

Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
 
Some of us simply are not interested in finding a romantic partner. After a few cycles, the REALITY of love and / or marriage looks less and less appealing. I'm one of those. I fall in love on a regular basis, but if you don't let it get control of you, and make the effort to stay in "the friend zone", you will usually come to your senses. There is a cycle in relationships that is pretty predictable........ is the rush worth the crash? Your world gets turned upside down on both ends of the deal.... with few exceptions.

Perhaps one day I will meet the mythical perfect mate, the woman who was made for me, and who I was made for, but for now I'm not a believer. The solo life can be a good life, and I've always been comfortable in my own company, and at peace with myself. Being alone or single doesn't mean being lonely.

boatman61 24-12-2019 18:25

Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by gamayun (Post 2781771)
You remind me of a still vivid memory from my youngun days at this university bar when all the guys suddenly lined up along the railing to the dance floor after the announcement came for last call. I had to ask a friend what they were doing. She laughed at my naivety :nonono: That's not to say I was all sweets and innocence, but I just found the men kinda funny in a pathetic way.

Never lined the bar at last call..
Never been good enough at the chat to pull the one nighters..
But.. I do know women are like cats.. tickle their curiosity enough.. :wink:

Pelagic 24-12-2019 19:06

Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by owly (Post 3042807)
Some of us simply are not interested in finding a romantic partner. After a few cycles, the REALITY of love and / or marriage looks less and less appealing. I'm one of those. I fall in love on a regular basis, but if you don't let it get control of you, and make the effort to stay in "the friend zone", you will usually come to your senses. There is a cycle in relationships that is pretty predictable........ is the rush worth the crash? Your world gets turned upside down on both ends of the deal.... with few exceptions.

Perhaps one day I will meet the mythical perfect mate, the woman who was made for me, and who I was made for, but for now I'm not a believer. The solo life can be a good life, and I've always been comfortable in my own company, and at peace with myself. Being alone or single doesn't mean being lonely.

Interesting that this Thread revived around the Xmas Holidays..... Always an emotional time both good and bad

Owly, I was once as conflicted as your post above.
I had been burned and broken hearted over failed relationships. Swore off trying again, but secretly hoping to find 'my own true love'

We kid ourselves that a sunset alone is as good as a sunset shared with a person whose presence is the very air you breathe.

I was lucky to find a person almost 15 years ago that prompted me to try again

I spooned this Xmas morning with the greatest Xmas gift of her presence while we both teased about each being the best Xmas present....nothing else needed!

She gave me an unsigned, unmarked Xmas Card but with beautiful loving words.

I asked, why didn't you sign it?
.... She said, she would give it to me again in a few years when I've forgotten ! We both laughed!

My point...... With so many good things to achieve in our lives.... The secret is to not give up!
Merry Xmas

lancelot9898 24-12-2019 19:47

Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Pelagic (Post 3042838)
Interesting that this Thread revived around the Xmas Holidays..... Always an emotional time both good and bad

Owly, I was once as conflicted as your post above.
I had been burned and broken hearted over failed relationships. Swore off trying again, but secretly hoping to find 'my own true love'

We kid ourselves that a sunset alone is as good as a sunset shared with a person whose presence is the very air you breathe.

I was lucky to find a person almost 15 years ago that prompted me to try again

I spooned this Xmas morning with the greatest Xmas gift of her presence while we both teased about each being the best Xmas present....nothing else needed!

She gave me an unsigned, unmarked Xmas Card but with beautiful loving words.

I asked, why didn't you sign it?
.... She said, she would give it to me again in a few years when I've forgotten ! We both laughed!

My point...... With so many good things to achieve in our lives.... The secret is to not give up!
Merry Xmas

Well said. I too lost a woman that I loved very much and while I've been without her for the past 3 years, I know not to give up. We spent 11 years together sailing some and then moving to the mountains of North Carolina. Her health was slowly getting worse, but you would never know it looking at her or talking with her. She had a zest for life that was truly amazing. I still think there is someone else out there to share the sunrises with and while I know there will be disappoints, we can all learn from our mistakes. I'm not sure about going back on match.com or the lovesail site. I'm now thinking that meeting face to face is the best way so even though I'm back living on the boat in a small town on the Chesapeake Bay, I've joined an orchestra and started back taking spin classes at the local Y. Through it all we just need to maintain a sense of humor and we will all be fine. Good Luck.


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