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-   -   Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look. (https://www.cruisersforum.com/forums/f74/single-men-living-aboard-and-cruising-an-honest-look-152569.html)

Simi 60 14-11-2018 00:01

Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Ex-Calif (Post 2759036)
I am 57 and still believe in marriage - I must be really good at it because I am on my 3rd!

.

52 and never been married and neither has my partner of 27 years.

I have asked her a couple of times, more for financial/tax/ease of medical decisions while travelling than because of a belief in marriage but it seems to both of us that getting the piece of paper to make it legal is what makes it turn to custard.

Statistics would support this.

ImaginaryNumber 14-11-2018 05:14

Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by john61ct (Post 2760872)
The younger generations are having much less sex. Few people see it as a healthy trend
https://www.theatlantic.com/amp/article/573949/

Less sex might not be so good for a specific population, but it might be a very good thing for the planet as a whole.

We are exceeding Earth’s carrying capacity. Denying it is suicidal.

What Is the Carrying Capacity of Earth?

How Many People Can Earth Support?

Ruso 14-11-2018 10:27

Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
 
Sell your project - life is too short to spend it repairing instead of sailing
My option would be - get smaller boat and go South. There are plenty of a great woman there. Eventually magic will happens - chances are slim for the magic on the boat repair yard.


Quote:

Originally Posted by 2hullvenus (Post 1908411)
I'm divorced.

I have a 50' corecell/epoxy catamaran that needs a year worth of work inside and another dump truck full of money, including several staterooms and a rig done. (quote for rig? $48,000) It's currently in power boat mode.

I've been having a lot of good luck lately meeting great, incredibly attractive younger women. However, as a generality, they are not interested in living with me on half finished boats, nor traveling or leaving their jobs/family.

These women were met online at first, then in real life. They are scattered throughout the usa, many of them inland.

They all have local lives and aren't ready to travel, nevermind on a boat that is still a construction project.

I'm getting older now and though I can still attract very, very attractive women, it's not going to be that way much longer. I'm in a window of opportunity looks/money wise to attract great ones right now. BUT... I'm wasting a fortune on my boat and have basically nowhere to host anyone still due to it being unlivable for females (i can tough it out just fine)

So... I'm seriously considering selling this boat as a project boat, converting a box truck and roaming the country to date/meet people. Later, with someone or when I feel like it, I could put the vehicle on a roro ship and send it to various countries, fly there and explore.

I have been on boats for my whole adult life, living aboard, making a living from them, etc.

Boats feel confining to me right now in that I can't get anywhere quickly or travel to most of the world (just to the harbors) with them.

I am stuck on the East Coast of the USA. I want to go to the west coast, the Midwest, to Europe, Asia. By the time I get this boat done and ready for ocean crossings, I'll be much older. I could get an rv done in a few months. It's just one room/bathroom and systems. The catamaran is huge. So many rooms. I have also developed an epoxy allergy helping the pro builders that built the boat, so I can hardly do the odds and ends without discomfort. I had planned to finish the interior myself.

I'd love to hire someone to do the interior, but couldn't afford much more than $15/hr take home for them.

What's a single guy to do?

Keep sacrificing my life to this boat, or get out and go live?

Why are there so many single guys on boats too? That's kind of disturbing to think I may end up as one of them (no offense, but I'm very into being with women... like it more than boats).

What should I do?


MidwestRefugee 16-11-2018 08:12

Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
 
By the time I had enough money to get a good boat I began to understand how vulnerable my assets were to a vengeful woman. In order to protect what is mine I just can't take the chance. Live in GFs are fine, they can't rape me in court.
I.E. Mr and Mrs Right get married. He works anywhere from a few years (2nd, 3rd or whatever older age marriage) to his entire career. Mrs Right decides sailing the world is not for her and refuses to go. Now what? He gives up and never goes or loses half or whatever good percentage in a divorce settlement which will at a minimum severely curtail what he worked for so hard, maybe even scuttle the whole thing.

alansmith 16-11-2018 10:46

Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
 
Maybe i am the odd one. But I love having a relationship that is long term and committed. Been a divorcee, a widower, and a husband again. Loved all of them.

For me there is nothing sweeter than snuggling up in bed with my wife after a long day. Her silky skin on my legs, her soft behind nestled into my groin, the warmth of her skin on my chest, the smell of fragrance from her hair, and the softness of her breathing as we drift into sleep. I never tire of it.

We only live once fellas. Had my heart broken many a time. Been raped in court by legal methods, watched my sweetheart slowly die from breast cancer, and was able to find love again. There is nothing sweeter (for me) than the love a good woman can bring to your life.

It is the "hell served up for breakfast that is hard to swallow"....many women and men have had to swallow that bitterness...and forever swear off relationships. I truly wish for those in that situation that they might not live a life alone. It is a deep sadness for me to see some of my good friends...good human beings....suffer the loneliness. Some say they don't need relationships or even care anymore about being alone. I wonder about that. I must be wired differently.

Ex-Calif 17-11-2018 06:58

Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
 
The "concept" here is that what you build together is sharable 50/50 at the time of divorce. Reality and good vs. bad lawyer and judging often messes this theory up.

When I divorced number 2 I had been working in my same job for 30 years. We were married for 20. So she was entitled to half of what we built over 20 years regardless of who worked or did not. She ended up with a bifurcation of 1/3 of my retirement earned to that date (1/2 of 2/3rds). She now has her own account at my company that I cannot see at all and can draw "her" pension when she qualifies - My pension has grown since then obviously

To me this sucked but was fair because I understood the logic of it.

What was not fair was that I basically assumed all the debt from the marriage, primarily because I had "means" - That sucked... If logic held true she should have assumed 1/3 of the debts. Especially because I proved they were her hidden gambling addiction debts.

Oh, and I get to pay alimony until I retire or she remarries - like that's gonna happen - there's a financial disincentive for her to remarry. The only other option is to catch her shacking up with a shared name on a utility bill or house lease.

OK - TMI - sour grapes. That was 5 years ago - LOL...


Quote:

Originally Posted by MidwestRefugee (Post 2762704)
By the time I had enough money to get a good boat I began to understand how vulnerable my assets were to a vengeful woman. In order to protect what is mine I just can't take the chance. Live in GFs are fine, they can't rape me in court.
I.E. Mr and Mrs Right get married. He works anywhere from a few years (2nd, 3rd or whatever older age marriage) to his entire career. Mrs Right decides sailing the world is not for her and refuses to go. Now what? He gives up and never goes or loses half or whatever good percentage in a divorce settlement which will at a minimum severely curtail what he worked for so hard, maybe even scuttle the whole thing.


nautical62 17-11-2018 09:22

Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
 
Iíve had more than a dozen women I previously didnít know join me cruising. Being a single guy with a boat was an advantage in that regard, but meeting women in real life when out cruising basically never happened. There was one crew board I found very helpful and it certainly wasnít the one here.

Of the women who joined me, most remained platonic but positive, a few ended up being more and a couple were negative, one very much so.

owly 17-11-2018 10:39

Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
 
I don't think you are the odd one at all..... I think all normal men crave what you crave... unless they are queer. (that's a politically correct term now).



We all react differently when things go awry. Relationships require a great deal of energy from both partners to keep them positive. Some of us would rather put that energy into something else after expending it for years, and getting a negative "return on investment" at the far end.

Some people blame the other party when things go awry, and some develop an eternal distrust of the opposite sex. This applies from both sides. Men and women are fundamentally incompatible IMHO, and it takes a constant energy input to keep things together. Entropy takes over in the absence of effort. That effort must come from both sides of course. Two people must be determined to make it work.... not one. I don't bear any grudges, or place blame on any partners.... I try to see what went wrong as honestly as possible.


What I do resent is the tendency of people to create labels and manufacture imaginary groups, assigning common characteristics to those who they place in these groups, but we live in a complex world with many people, so it's easier to looks at groups than individuals. Feminism is one I've wrestled with all my adult life. Nearly all my female friends and girlfriends are / have been "feminists", but what that means individually is vastly different. The same can be said for the political parties.
The latest of these is MGTOW (men going their own way)... which seems to be indiscriminately applied to ALL of those of us who choose not to be married or in a relationship...... along with implications regarding our attitude toward women in general. I for one deeply resent this......... I choose my course NOT out of any dislike or distrust of womankind at all. I have at least as many close female friends as male, and we rely on and trust one another. In crisis any of us can call on the other, and find support, help solace....... if not we aren't really friends by my definition. A lot of my relationships with women could have been pushed into the romance zone, and some were at one time or another, and some could be...... if I allowed it to "happen". I frankly do not have the energy to spare. The rewards are sweet... but in my case at least it tends to consume my life, and ultimately spit me out at the other end as "damaged goods". It has to be right at this point, or I refuse to waste my time and energy on it. I probably will go to my grave without finding that mythical "soul mate" that someone recently suggested was out there for each of us ;-)


H.W.





Quote:

Originally Posted by alansmith (Post 2762833)
Maybe i am the odd one. But I love having a relationship that is long term and committed. Been a divorcee, a widower, and a husband again. Loved all of them.

For me there is nothing sweeter than snuggling up in bed with my wife after a long day. Her silky skin on my legs, her soft behind nestled into my groin, the warmth of her skin on my chest, the smell of fragrance from her hair, and the softness of her breathing as we drift into sleep. I never tire of it.

We only live once fellas. Had my heart broken many a time. Been raped in court by legal methods, watched my sweetheart slowly die from breast cancer, and was able to find love again. There is nothing sweeter (for me) than the love a good woman can bring to your life.

It is the "hell served up for breakfast that is hard to swallow"....many women and men have had to swallow that bitterness...and forever swear off relationships. I truly wish for those in that situation that they might not live a life alone. It is a deep sadness for me to see some of my good friends...good human beings....suffer the loneliness. Some say they don't need relationships or even care anymore about being alone. I wonder about that. I must be wired differently.


danielamartindm 17-11-2018 11:29

Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
 
The rarest of treasures is the devotion of one, loving heart; and how few of us ever find it.

Pelagic 17-11-2018 12:29

Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by danielamartindm (Post 2763394)
The rarest of treasures is the devotion of one, loving heart; and how few of us ever find it.

Poppycock!

john61ct 17-11-2018 13:10

Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
 
Yes, I personally find creating too strong an association between sex and romance to be unhealthy.

The latter is rare, the former should just be part of our normal routine, like getting some stretching exercises in the morning.

Gone are the days when sex is some kind of bait on the hook to get into a "committed" romantic relationship.

Yes it's nicer when they come together, just don't keep waiting for that putting the physical aspects on hold.

1Sunseeker 17-11-2018 14:27

Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
 
Wanted, a good women who can dig worms, catch and cook fish and has a boat longer than 32'. Please send a photo of your boat!

cyan 17-11-2018 17:55

Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Pelagic (Post 2763424)
Poppycock!

Boom.
(is there a boom emoticon on this thing??)

gamayun 17-11-2018 19:06

Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by danielamartindm (Post 2763394)
The rarest of treasures is the devotion of one, loving heart; and how few of us ever find it.

Not poppycock!

gamayun 17-11-2018 19:14

Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
 
1 Attachment(s)
Quote:

Originally Posted by 1Sunseeker (Post 2763511)
Wanted, a good women who can dig worms, catch and cook fish and has a boat longer than 32'. Please send a photo of your boat!

Have you ever grunted for worms? You can't really expect to find a good women who can dig worms if you yourself has never grunted for them in a piney wood some where. Attachment 180794


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