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-   -   Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look. (https://www.cruisersforum.com/forums/f74/single-men-living-aboard-and-cruising-an-honest-look-152569.html)

Van Der Beek 11-11-2018 16:33

Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by CatNewBee (Post 2759528)
Yeah, some collect marriages like post stamps in Hollywood...[emoji23]

Some of us still collect getting a full return on our investment, but without all the hassles and risks involved. :)

boatman61 11-11-2018 16:34

Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
 
Aww lets face it.. all the arguements here are based on the fruits of Adams Rib.. beliefs based on misogeny, child abuse, ethnic cleansing and bigotry..
Humanity and concience are based on a god given sense of male superiority.
Personally my sense is somewhere in the psche women once ruled men in pre history and 6000yrs ago there was a revolution and suppression has existed ever since..
But then I also believe this is not the first civilization.. there have been many before but we keep screwing it up and falling back onto the few survivors that have gone before and are left only with hand me down legends as we claw our way back only to screw it up again.
The arrogance and ignorance of man is as unbounded as is his ability to believe in his imagined dominance of nature..
Dream on.. :biggrin:

Pelagic 11-11-2018 19:44

Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by boatman61 (Post 2759906)

. .women once ruled men in pre history and 6000yrs ago there was a revolution and suppression has existed ever since..

Hi Boatie,
This brought back good memories of reading a fantastic book by Gunter Grass, called "The Flounder"

Definitely worth a read if you haven't already... Cheers!

https://www.enotes.com/topics/flounder

gamayun 11-11-2018 20:25

Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
 
Aw heck guys. Too much angst being posted here. What's wrong with just doing your thing whether there's a partner in the picture or not? That's why I recently did the solo race to Hawaii and came back with 2 pick up crew. I wanted to prove the concept. It certainly makes for FAR more interesting stories than a sundowner shared with the same ole person every night ;)

cyan 11-11-2018 20:45

Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by gamayun (Post 2760008)
I recently did the solo race to Hawaii and came back with 2 pick up crew. I wanted to prove the concept. It certainly makes for FAR more interesting stories than a sundowner shared with the same ole person every night ;)

Pics or it didnít happen.

Pelagic 11-11-2018 21:40

Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by gamayun (Post 2760008)
... It certainly makes for FAR more interesting stories than a sundowner shared with the same ole person every night ;)

LoL, in the Philippine villages, the old women would call you a 'butterfly'. ..

owly 12-11-2018 07:36

Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by cyan (Post 2760016)
Pics or it didnít happen.


Obviously a Californian..... them's what we call "California Rules". "If it isn't on film, it didn't happen.....


H.W.

gamayun 12-11-2018 08:37

Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
 
So here's one to chew on as a single woman picking up crew. I took only married men and chose two people on the idea that they couldn't possibly be both loonies. I thought it would be less awkward with married men than to take on one (or OMG two) single guys since I tend to be hurling my cookies for the first couple of days and I am not showering on a regular basis. You know, that vanity thing. There had been some women who contacted me but I had already chosen the crew, but that's another thing as well because I tend to find easier company with men than women. What if I had taken a mix of a man and a woman? Would that have been super awkward (or scary) for the guy? I think this all has been mulled over in the "how to pick crew" threads, but it is something I spent a lot of time thinking about. In the end, I got lucky and was very happy with my crew on a 21-day passage. It's in my nature to experiment so I'll probably take two women next time although a data point of one is just that....

gamayun 12-11-2018 08:40

Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Pelagic (Post 2760038)
LoL, in the Philippine villages, the old women would call you a 'butterfly'. ..

Why? Sounds like a beautiful thing to me :)

Ex-Calif 12-11-2018 09:47

Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by owly (Post 2759902)

Seriously, how do you handle the situation where there is a strong mutual attraction with real potential, and the lady has made her intentions very clear, but you damn well know it will involve the inevitable choice.... live aboard voyaging, versus an ordinary land existence? Do you give up one dream to pursue another? How do you prioritize? Relationships involve compromise..... and should.

In the long run you gotta pursue your own bliss. This isn't weird, wrong or selfish. Society wants to make the path less chosen appear wrong in some way. It is totally not. I had a friend who was a bachelor into his 40's by choice.

You wouldn't believe how "threatening" this guy was to all married women and many married men. They used to insinuate he was gay, which he was not. The guy lived well and had a million bucks in his portfolio.

He finally married about the time many of our friends were getting divorced. 25 years on he and his wife are totally happy... Who took the wrong path?

You also gotta be honest with anyone you meet. The whole idea of behaving like someone else in order to attract and start a relationship is a bad path in the long run.

My friend chose to be single for a long time. He had always dated but was honest up front about not intending to commit to marriage. When he ultimately found his spouse he knew exactly all the different kinds of crazy to avoid.

john61ct 12-11-2018 14:55

Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
 
Funny, or sad?

https://www.bbc.com/news/world-europe-46133262

Pelagic 12-11-2018 15:22

Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by gamayun (Post 2760233)
So here's one to chew on as a single woman picking up crew. I took only married men and chose two people on the idea that they couldn't possibly be both loonies. I thought it would be less awkward with married men than to take on one (or OMG two) single guys since I tend to be hurling my cookies for the first couple of days and I am not showering on a regular basis. You know, that vanity thing. There had been some women who contacted me but I had already chosen the crew, but that's another thing as well because I tend to find easier company with men than women. What if I had taken a mix of a man and a woman? Would that have been super awkward (or scary) for the guy? I think this all has been mulled over in the "how to pick crew" threads, but it is something I spent a lot of time thinking about. In the end, I got lucky and was very happy with my crew on a 21-day passage. It's in my nature to experiment so I'll probably take two women next time although a data point of one is just that....

Just remember, picking crew is all about trusting your "OWN" instincts regardless of whether 2 men, 2 women, or a mix.

You are the best judge of whether they complement your own skills and give off positive vibes.

Once shortlisted, see how the other two interact.

If it is a mix, see if the guy 'thinks' that he will have to do all the heavy lifting?

If yes, .....Could be a sign of that male chauvanistic thing I keep hearing about.[emoji4]

lancelot9898 12-11-2018 15:48

Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
 
Each person has to decide what path to follow and most men on sailboats who cruise seem to be single. I have no desire to be single yet I do love sailing, but a partner whom I could love and be loved makes the love of sailing less important. I don't have the answer since I've had 3 failed marriages all of whom I remain friends with to this day and lost a partner of 11 years when she passed away 2 1/2 years ago. I'm back living aboard full time and back on match. You must have a sense of humor to put yourself out there at this late stage in life.

Pelagic 13-11-2018 05:02

Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by lancelot9898 (Post 2760560)
.....You must have a sense of humor to put yourself out there at this late stage in life.

Sad storey Lancelot, but humor beats depression any day of the week.

Made me think about Leonard Cohen's MOST depressing song!..... When I listen closely to the words in it, my life doesn't seem so bad and my complaints petty!

https://youtu.be/lNTFqSaFwyo

john61ct 13-11-2018 08:12

Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
 
The younger generations are having much less sex. Few people see it as a healthy trend
https://www.theatlantic.com/amp/article/573949/


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