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-   -   Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look. (https://www.cruisersforum.com/forums/f74/single-men-living-aboard-and-cruising-an-honest-look-152569.html)

cyan 06-11-2018 21:16

Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by gamayun (Post 2756783)
Oh come on, Cyan, maybe all the single guys need to find their sensitive sides, huh? What's so cruel about a beautiful love?
Besides, I'm a sucker for poetic writing regardless of gender ;)

Tis not so cruel, love professed on a whim,
Nay, winds from warm hearts are warming indeed.
Endearing and longing, soft verbs of yours,
Breathe tropical whispers among men of need.

The sailor alone, a man and the sea,
Horizons be cruel if truth be told.
Gama and Joy enjoy sunrises unseen,
The rest of the blokes simply grow old.

boatman61 07-11-2018 00:20

Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Olddan1943 (Post 2755950)
Hmmmm, how about getting a professional to survey her?
But then, she may want a professional to survey you?
So what's the down side?

Never use Pro's for my boats..
Why should I use them for potential crew..???

owly 07-11-2018 07:36

Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
 
We live in a time where both men and women are giving up on romance, marriage, and children. For men in particular it seem that there is a deep and growing distrust of the institution of marriage based on the extremely high odds of divorce, and the emotional and financial burdens that entails, particularly if children are involved. Both sexes are opting out of serious long term relationships more and more, and are far less likely to "invest" themselves 100%. It is far easier not to commit and take on the risks, or invest the time and effort, when the long term outcome is so questionable. In today's world relationships are a lottery at best. Looking at those few long term happy couples, one cannot but be envious and want that, but.....
When it all usually begins with desire / lust, the challenge of turning that into friendship / partnership, and mutual commitment that can last a lifetime is a steep one, and one for which there really is no road map.
I find it depressing to hear people rattle off a bill of particulars.... specifications... as far as what they are looking for in a mate.....nearly always shallow, superficial, and meaningless in the long term.... It's like they're shopping for a car.... or a sex toy, or an ornament that will make them look better by association.
Is it any wonder that so many of us have simply opted out??


H.W.

gamayun 07-11-2018 10:08

Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by owly (Post 2757005)
We live in a time where both men and women are giving up on romance, marriage, and children.

Traditionally, marriage was neither about romance nor love. When it did become about choosing for love, the marriage was also clearly divided between women's roles and men's roles. These are recent constructs that have only very recently begun to change. With more women working and living independently, and making their own choices about having children or not, they don't really need a man or his financial support. Hence, the laundry list of desirable attributes as a way to keep men at arm's length. It's a new world guys!

boatman61 07-11-2018 10:34

Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by gamayun (Post 2757073)
Traditionally, marriage was neither about romance nor love. When it did become about choosing for love, the marriage was also clearly divided between women's roles and men's roles. These are recent constructs that have only very recently begun to change. With more women working and living independently, and making their own choices about having children or not, they don't really need a man or his financial support. Hence, the laundry list of desirable attributes as a way to keep men at arm's length. It's a new world guys!

Vive la Revalucao.. :biggrin:

Saleen411 07-11-2018 10:39

Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by owly (Post 2757005)
We live in a time where both men and women are giving up on romance, marriage, and children. For men in particular it seem that there is a deep and growing distrust of the institution of marriage based on the extremely high odds of divorce, and the emotional and financial burdens that entails, particularly if children are involved. Both sexes are opting out of serious long term relationships more and more, and are far less likely to "invest" themselves 100%. It is far easier not to commit and take on the risks, or invest the time and effort, when the long term outcome is so questionable. In today's world relationships are a lottery at best. Looking at those few long term happy couples, one cannot but be envious and want that, but.....
When it all usually begins with desire / lust, the challenge of turning that into friendship / partnership, and mutual commitment that can last a lifetime is a steep one, and one for which there really is no road map.
I find it depressing to hear people rattle off a bill of particulars.... specifications... as far as what they are looking for in a mate.....nearly always shallow, superficial, and meaningless in the long term.... It's like they're shopping for a car.... or a sex toy, or an ornament that will make them look better by association.
Is it any wonder that so many of us have simply opted out??


H.W.

Sex toy?...did somebody say sex toy??????

Terrible....just terrible, but it's an awful cross I've had to bear over the years.....but I will be ok.......really, I will be alright. :biggrin:

john61ct 07-11-2018 10:43

Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
 
https://www.quotesvalley.com/images/3...-bicycle-2.jpg

gamayun 07-11-2018 11:12

Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by john61ct (Post 2757110)

Ah this brings back memories. Some of my female biologist friends in college used to wear this as a t-shirt. Thinking back on it, that was probably the time of "the shift" in relationships. This was 30 years (and two husbands) ago, yet we are still trying to figure it out, too....

gamayun 07-11-2018 11:14

Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by cyan (Post 2756830)
Tis not so cruel, love professed on a whim,
Nay, winds from warm hearts are warming indeed.
Endearing and longing, soft verbs of yours,
Breathe tropical whispers among men of need.

The sailor alone, a man and the sea,
Horizons be cruel if truth be told.
Gama and Joy enjoy sunrises unseen,
The rest of the blokes simply grow old.

Awww, Cyan has a sensitive side too [emoji173] [emoji173] [emoji173]

john61ct 07-11-2018 12:02

Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by gamayun (Post 2757127)
30 years (and two husbands) ago

Irina Dunn in 1970

But rediscovered by each generation as they "awake" to the option of defining family relationships and choosing their own life paths for themselves.

My mom was a badass b1tch (in the loveliest sense), so I was a keenly aspiring feminist by ten. But now realize farthest I "should" go is as a stridently supportive ally in fighting the patriarchy, as with battling racism, nationalism, LGBTQ issues and exploitation of the poor.

Environmental issues are really the only universal one, highest priority and hardest to solve.

CatNewBee 07-11-2018 12:10

Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
 
Well, that is ok, nature regulates itself.

That is how dinos extinct, it was not a meteorite, they got feminism - the world was saved from a dominant species by culture change.

Mariage was invented to protect and raise kids.

If this culture trend continues with emancipation and degradation of relationships plus a multi-channel free tv, - over-population will be a non-issue, global warming will be solved and insects will be the next intelligent species on earth studying petrified mamal bones speculating if a volcano was the cause and activist roaches will protest and warn of global cooling causing mass extintion of insects.

gamayun 07-11-2018 12:23

Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by john61ct (Post 2757169)
Irina Dunn in 1970

Yeah, I thought it was Steinem. Now I see it has it origins in the 1850s as "A man without a woman is like a ship without a sail." Sadly poetic, n'est-ce pas?

daletournier 07-11-2018 12:25

Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by gamayun (Post 2757073)
Traditionally, marriage was neither about romance nor love. When it did become about choosing for love, the marriage was also clearly divided between women's roles and men's roles. These are recent constructs that have only very recently begun to change. With more women working and living independently, and making their own choices about having children or not, they don't really need a man or his financial support. Hence, the laundry list of desirable attributes as a way to keep men at arm's length. It's a new world guys!

Hmmm..... doesn't this apply both ways? If a man chooses not to have kids then he really doesn't need a woman and the responsibilities that have often come with them.

As you said, it's a new world, but does this mean it's better? I'm not sure it is.

gamayun 07-11-2018 12:36

Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by daletournier (Post 2757181)
Hmmm..... doesn't this apply both ways? If a man chooses not to have kids then he really doesn't need a woman and the responsibilities that have often come with them.

As you said, it's a new world, but does this mean it's better? I'm not sure it is.

Yes, but the difference is that men were always more free to make this choice than a woman was. When I was young, my mother couldn't get a bank loan without my father's signature. This was the early 70s. Is the world better? In most ways of measuring it, it absolutely is!

CatNewBee 07-11-2018 12:47

Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
 
Do we really have a choice? Life is too short to complain. Just keep searching, there is a soul mate for everyone out there to be found - until you give up.

I guess, nowadays it is easier to keep searching...


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