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-   -   Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look. (https://www.cruisersforum.com/forums/f74/single-men-living-aboard-and-cruising-an-honest-look-152569.html)

john61ct 25-01-2018 09:02

Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
 
Then there are professionals focused on their career who happily love their stay-at-home house husband who is passionate about raising the kids well.

BandB 25-01-2018 10:09

Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Chichi (Post 2562864)
Oh! and of course we need ZEE and Gadagirl and WifeyB and all of the gals on here to contribute with their engine stories. Zee seems to have quite a few on hand for the book already!

:flowers:

Wifey B: I don't do engines. :wink:

fuentes 25-01-2018 10:26

Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by gamayun (Post 2562812)
OK, big peace sign to Cyan and Pelagic. If you feel me digging in, it's just because I'm half French and I love the passionate side of any argument (not the hard feelings side). So, really, it's all in good jest. This thread has never (really, never) made me mad or upset. I have rolled my eyes quite a bit, but that's different.

Fuentes, I lose my tools all the time right after I had just set them down. Has taken me 30 minutes sometimes to find them again within a 5-foot-square area. One time I lost my phone on the boat a whole day. How does one call oneself? Finally found it buried under a rug I had moved around. I must say....those roll up tool pouches are the best thing since sliced bread. Still doesn't prevent me from losing the tool as soon as I pull it out of its pouch. That's the whole other problem.

Picture this!
You are happily cooking up a stew in the galley. :smitten: You chopped the meat, potatoes, carrots, celery, onions and you reach for the garlic powder and pepper. They are not there! :nonono: You start looking on the counters, drawers, cabinets, inside the microwave, oven, refrigerator, freezer, nothing. Now around the salon, behind the cushions, pantry, nave station. You discard going into cabins. Now you begin to panic! :biggrin: So outside you go. Nothing on the table, nave station, under the cushions, propane compartment. You proceed on the decks and to the fore part of the boat. Now you are breaking into a sweat and desperate! :whistling: And there, cuddled next to the mast, are the two indispensable, you can not live without, items you have been searching for. :facepalm: Someone did not put them back in their place! :smile:

sailorchic34 25-01-2018 10:29

Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by weavis (Post 2562866)
I have a question for the lone female sailors.

For those of you that do not stay in a locale, and extend your horizons to parts new and thus out of your comfort zone, what sort of problems do you encounter from marinas etc, and the local male population?

Really around the west coast areas I putz around all the marina office folk have been quite nice and are always happy to see the pink boat pull up.

I do get greeted by some of the older live aboards pretty much and every marina I go to. Most are ok to nice and we'll chat a bit.

I've not had any real problems yet. Of course, I don't date at all... Sorry guys. Love my freedom too much. Plus well I have issues, as we all do by the time we're older then dirt.

BandB 25-01-2018 10:36

Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by weavis (Post 2562866)
I have a question for the lone female sailors.

For those of you that do not stay in a locale, and extend your horizons to parts new and thus out of your comfort zone, what sort of problems do you encounter from marinas etc, and the local male population?

Wifey B: We've traveled the country and out of the country, often with female captains in charge, whether me or others. Anna, Dena, Stephanie and myself. Oh and female engineer too in Renee. Plus Carmen, Jennifer, and Tabitha take their turns at the helm.

Marinas are interesting in response. Most just fine. Occasionally, it's not the fact it's a female, but being too nice and have to change tone to make a point. Now, out of the country has been more interesting, especially Mexico, Nicaragua, Costa Rica, and Panama. Also with other boats and authorities. A couple have asked to speak to the Master and been told clearly "I am the Master." Then they stammered, stuttered, apologized.

Upon arrival at a marina also interesting as we're typically far move females aboard than males. We did the loop mostly with five or six females plus my hubby. Typically our Panama Canal trip was 7 females to 3 males. So, to the loop. Stephanie often was the "Master." You imagine when a gorgeous 5-11 blue eyed blonde model type is standing at the helm and then comes to the dock. Occasionally dock hands have accidents and dockmasters stand shocked. However, in cruising the US, a large percentage of dockmasters are now female so they're happy to see it.

Just a couple of times in Latin America cultures it's taken a moment but quickly they've found out who they're dealing with and come around.

Like many challenges, it's only a problem if you let it be. Anna has been a professional captain for over 30 years, ran her on fishing charter out of Hatteras, has crossed oceans many times, captained up to 200' yachts, so she faced and overcame any boundaries long ago.

On the other hand there's an equal side where being female comes in as an advantage or at least talking sweetly does. In securing a slip where we didn't reserve far in advance, a female often seems to have an advantage, but we also seem to ask kindly and not demand.

But generally some initial surprise but no disrespect and things have gone fine.

It's important to understand that my hubby is huge on empowering women and in our business, our CEO and COO are female and our latest business endeavor the CEO is a 19 year old female and 80% of our managers and directors in our businesses are female. Our CEO and COO shock far more people there than we do on the water. :biggrin:

BandB 25-01-2018 10:44

Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by sailorchic34 (Post 2563117)

I've not had any real problems yet. Of course, I don't date at all... Sorry guys. Love my freedom too much. Plus well I have issues, as we all do by the time we're older then dirt.

Wifey B: We're finding young females dating far less than one expects, at least those successful. They enjoy their lives and their freedom and don't feel a compulsion to pair up. Plus males their age seem to lack maturity. For many, dating is a way to try to fill some void or a way toward free meals, but a lot of happy, successful females don't find it necessary. Again, the young females I know best will occasionally go with some guys somewhere for dinner but as friends, not dates, and everyone paying their own way.

I think this brings out one of the issues the single male sailor faces too. This generation of females is more and more independent and young females today may be less in need of males in their lives than males are. Trying to not be crude but the one thing males offer that they thing females must have, there are reasonable substitutes for at adult toy stores. :smile:

gamayun 25-01-2018 10:54

Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
 
ChiChi, you got passion, girl. Engines are a hard topic to start with. Maybe you can mine all the comments (i.e., condense them into something logical and readable) and then find an expert or two to comment. You could also go back to the OP if he/she didn't post the outcome or the solution. Kinda like a Car Talk "Stump the Chumps" forensics analysis for boat engines.

Compared to Sailorchic, I know how to do basic maintenance on my engine. I'm working up my nerve to pull and likely replace the injectors soon. I've come a long way from when I first bought the boat when it took me 3 days to get my nerve up to change the oil. In my defense, I spent a lot of time researching how to do it and not mess anything up, as well as running to West Marine trying to find a good pump. Those dang things that attach to the end of the drill are horrible! Nothing wrong with starting at the basics about tools. I still get confused with the names of the different wrenches. Many women as well as many of the male sailors I know don't work on their engines at all....

Lancelot, see one of my earlier posts about Weavis. Applies to you, too, my good man. I don't chase guys around the world and I don't have time for penpals (tho I have infinite time for this thread...go figure). But keep putting yourself out there! I learned to sail on the Chesapeake so it holds a special place in my 💓

I am curious about those who cruise and how they're treated as single women. I have not been very far (yet) by myself, but when I get out there, everyone has always treated me with kindness, support (if needed) and a bit of awe. I think it's just attitude. I've had this same experience in my solo travels, too, from Egypt and Israel, to Europe, Central and South America, and throughout the Caribbean. The people who get really aggressive are around the tourist spots or airports looking for tips and handouts, but they do that no matter the gender. The only time I had a minor scare was when I was camping at Salt Pond in Kauai. I had been there a night or two and on the last evening, everyone (and I mean everyone) clears out. Strange, I thought, and went to bed. Around midnight, 3 very loud men are drinking at one of the picnic tables about a 100 yards away. I'm in my tent, but a little freaked out by the isolation so I assess my options and go to sleep, albeit a bit nervously. I wake up to someone rapping on my tent. It's the park guy at first light telling me that camping is not allowed on certain nights of the week and I need to leave. So I do. No harm, no foul. Oh, but plenty of fowl, I tell you. Those damn roosters on Kauai are the worse harassers and won't let anyone sleep past day break either!!

fuentes 25-01-2018 11:19

Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by sailorchic34 (Post 2563117)
Really around the west coast areas I putz around all the marina office folk have been quite nice and are always happy to see the pink boat pull up.

I do get greeted by some of the older live aboards pretty much and every marina I go to. Most are ok to nice and we'll chat a bit.

I've not had any real problems yet. Of course, I don't date at all... Sorry guys. Love my freedom too much. Plus well I have issues, as we all do by the time we're older then dirt.

You think you have issues!

A few days back, I am sitting on my easy chair contemplation what to take up so that I can be more physically active. When I get this idea. Go out and chase younger woman! :biggrin: I quickly get up, go to the closet , and get my old cross country running shoes, and put them on. I decide to briskly walk to the end of the block. When I get to the corner, I am breathing pretty hard and it occurs to me. What if I catch one! These pictures start forming in my mind as to what can follow. :nonono: I quickly turn around and run back to the house as fast as I can and shut the door. I plop myself down on the chair. What was I thinking! Are these the kind of thoughts that come to a man when he is approaching mid life? I turned 77 last month!:wink:

It reminded me of this story that will probably get me into trouble by crossing that line that Weavis warned us about.

This older gentleman,(must have been in his late nineties, early hundreds):whistling: goes to visit the Madam. Madam he says. I would like a girl. The Madam looks at the gentleman and says "Oh pops, go home, you have had it". He gets all excited, gets a smile on his face, his eyes light up, and he says " I have? How much do I owe you?"
To think that this could be me 30-40 years from now.:biggrin:

Pelagic 25-01-2018 12:02

Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by gamayun (Post 2562812)
OK, big peace sign to Cyan and Pelagic.

Peace to you to gamayun.. All in good fun!

I'm off to Singapore for a week so will probably miss what comes next in this quirky thread.

.... but you do realize that in some situations, a "guy" asking a "girl" to keep nodding her head.....could be considered sexist! [emoji4]

sailorchic34 25-01-2018 12:13

Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by gamayun (Post 2563143)
Nothing wrong with starting at the basics about tools. I still get confused with the names of the different wrenches. Many women as well as many of the male sailors I know don't work on their engines at all....

I was lucky and learned engines by being my dad's gofer, watching him do mechanic car stuff for 10 years growing up. So I learned at an early age what a open end and box end (or closed end) wrench were. Plus saw how to replace an alternator, water pump, engine head, etc. None of it is all that hard to do.

Having a 18" or 24" long breaker bar is really needed by women to compensate for less muscles. A breaker bar and a socket are used to break free nuts and bolts. If money was no object an electric impact driver (looks a bit like a electric drill), but low speed and used for tightening and loosening nuts and bolts.

Really I had just a very basic set of tools aboard for the great engine rebuild. I had a basic set of open end wrenches and a socket set in metric The type you get at any hardware store. Also had a few deep sockets for a few head bolts. A few ratchets 3/8" and 1/2, a long 18" breaker bar, a 30" cheater pipe (pipe put over the breaker bar for even more leverage and a torque wrench (given to me by one of the sailor guys on the dock, which is needed for assembly. That a few screw drivers, circlip plyers (needed to rebuild a raw water pump (BTW), a small oil filter band wrench, to use as a ring compressor (works really well btw) and micrometer and a set of feeler gauges was it.

That's all I used for my rebuild my engine. Well and a lot of rags and zip lock baggies to store each pieces bolts and nuts with a black sharpy to note where they go to, a rattle can of purple engine paint, new hoses clamps, etc.

Of course I had friends to hoist the engine up and down. But being a poor sailor, there was no money to pay anyone else to do it at the time. So I just went at it. Figured as the engine was already broken I really could not hurt it more.

It has over 600 hours on it now after 4 years and still going strong. Plus I know I could fix it again if needed. Not that I would want too...

Stu Jackson 25-01-2018 12:31

Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by gamayun (Post 2563143)
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
.>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
I've come a long way from when I first bought the boat when it took me 3 days to get my nerve up to change the oil. In my defense, I spent a lot of time researching how to do it and not mess anything up, as well as running to West Marine trying to find a good pump. >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

You are NOT alone! :)

Oil change, first one for me, was a year after I bought the boat.

Diesel filter change? Two years - I was deathly afraid of Bleeding it. Turned out to be a non-issue - my engine has a simple little knob that when turned on and then off completes the bleeding with the electric lift pump.

Transmission fluid? One year.

This was all twenty years ago! :)

Once I "got over" the initial "frights", which primarily consist of "Will the engine very start again?" it just became part of normal maintenance items.

This could happen to anyone, male or female.

Because of this, I began my "101 Topics" on our C34 website. Giving back and making the initially hard stuff easy for newcomers is important to me. https://c34.org/bbs/index.php/topic,6437.0.html

I just did my transmission fluid change yesterday. I remember having my son help me a few years ago: it went a LOT faster than doing it myself. :rolleyes: But this was only due to the logistics of getting the dipstick out & back in (dropped it under the engine, took some time coaxing it out with a long dowel I keep on hand just for dropsies), and sucking out and replacing the fluid with plastic tubing and a big syringe.

Time to go clean up the engine compartment today. Maybe I'll change the fuel filter tomorrow. I have 3375 engine hours, the filter says it was last changed at 2613, which means I'm 762 hours on a 30 micron filter and all the books and internet threads say my engine simply shouldn't be working at all!!!:banghead::banghead::banghead: Maybe next time I'll change it at 300 hours...:peace:

alansmith 25-01-2018 14:14

Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
 
Btw, relationships! I am telling anyone who will Listen to solid advice... I am expert movie critic... just ask me and I will confirm it is true.

Go see "PHANTOM THREAD" with Daniel Day Lewis. I rarely give a movie even a 90% rating. It is about a dress maker in England (Lewis) and his eccentricities... who has a relationship with a lovely waitress. It is one of the most unusual love stories you can imagine. Guys... it is not a "chick flick". This girl finds a way to bend him. Fabulous story line. The relationship full of things like him working at the breakfast table trying to concentrate on his designs and she noisily scraping her toasted bread with the butter knife. Exasperation and rudeness from him. Don't miss this one if u have the chance.

weavis 25-01-2018 14:44

Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by gamayun (Post 2563143)
Lancelot, see one of my earlier posts about Weavis. Applies to you, too, my good man. I don't chase guys around the world and I don't have time for penpals (tho I have infinite time for this thread...go figure). But keep putting yourself out there! I learned to sail on the Chesapeake so it holds a special place in my 💓

About me? Lol... I talked with you about the difficulties of dating long distance and about you having to give up your boat... (OK.. part 2 was not true :flowers: ) but I didnt ask anything of anyone.... If I wuz really interested in a person, I would get on a plane.... but for exactly the same reasons that you clearly enunciated... its a big pain this distance thing.

Im just the guy keeping this thread alive.. I think at some point, with maturity comes acceptance and with acceptance, the door is left open but the expectations are not really present.

It is REALLY nice to share life with someone special... its just a long cautious journey to do it... I still have chunks of emotion missing and teeth marks from some encounters... Being friends is safer... :thumb:

john61ct 25-01-2018 14:58

Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
 
Too bad he's retiring, but great to do at the top of his game.

Grew up with his wife, she was my first great love actually

8-)

gamayun 25-01-2018 15:04

Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
 
Ha, Weavis, it was subliminal!! I can't remember what the thread was about but I had said there was a time in my life when I would have gotten on a plane and traveled to meet someone interesting. Not my thing any more as I'm much more focused on getting my boat ready for a huge solo sail to Hawaii this year


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