With your profession, I expect you know a lot more about people than I do if you have not figured out the problem. I would come up with a comprehensive list of possible reasons for wives behavior. Pick a time when she is calm and you can check your emotions, you can not afford them. While in a friendly discussion not too closely related to the subject, bring up things associated with each theory. Don't listen to a damn thing she has to say, (OK you can listen to the words a little). When you hit the point or one of the points her speed of speech will increase significantly, and her volume will increase unmistakably. Now you can lovingly dig a little dealer showing that you care how she feels, or: switch subjects, calm her down and after a while toss out another piece of bait. The islander is small enough to use for weekends and day sails so you can bring up options that do not include stopping working, or sailing off forever.