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15-03-2008, 16:04
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#1
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Registered User
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Ingleside On The Bay
Boat: Whitby 42ft
Posts: 39
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When you are the "odd" person on the block
Hi everyone, I haven't posted much, just joined, but I have really enjoyed all the good advice being given. My husband and I are hopefully getting ready to start living our "dream". Hubby has always been smitten by sailing, although I think I can count on one hand the # of times he's gone out, and all those were without me. You know, BM (before marrige). We are selling our home, and are arranging to purchase a 38ft Heritage Custom, in need of work, most definitly! But the downpour of disapproval from our friends and family have been mind-boggeling! We got our Open Water diver cert. 2 years ago, and all our kids are grown and gone. We are still pretty young (49, but don't tell anyone, lol) and they all think we're crazy!! I would like some advice on how to shut them up, once and for all!! Just call me "Determined"!
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15-03-2008, 16:14
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#2
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Registered User
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Cruising
Boat: Ontario 32 - Aria
Posts: 134
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You can't shut them up, only get on with YOUR dream.
__________________
John
Ontario 32 - "Aria"
Within a dream, we may find a fantasy,
But never within a fantasy, will we live a dream.
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15-03-2008, 16:20
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#3
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Registered User
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: scotland/france
Boat: none at the moment
Posts: 7
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hi kaykay58
let me tell you our plans we lived in scotland and now live in france (two years now) with the plan of selling up in 2 or 3 years time to buy our yacht then sail for 4-5 years in the med then the rest of the world all this with never even been on a yacht but its what dreams are made off so go for it.
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15-03-2008, 16:21
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#4
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Registered User
Join Date: Nov 2006
Posts: 976
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Shutting them up is easy.........send them a postcard of a nice beach, saying "thinking of you all, having a wonderful time, tell you about it when not so busy" ; )
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15-03-2008, 17:03
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#5
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cruiser
Join Date: Nov 2004
Posts: 4,525
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Those people who are giving you a hard time are usually angry because they made choices in their lives that prevented them from having the kind of fun you are about to have.
Best thing to do, unfortunately, is just tune them out. You may lose a few friends, but life is more quiet and serene without the nagging/trash talking of those kinds of people.
We shed tons of friends and family when we first moved aboard. People were real jerks about it. Now that we don't talk to any of them, things are more peaceful and happy.
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15-03-2008, 17:56
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#6
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Long Range Cruiser
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Australian living on "Sea Life" currently in England.
Boat: Beneteau 393 "Sea Life"
Posts: 12,822
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Quote:
Originally Posted by KayKay58
I would like some advice on how to shut them up, once and for all!! Just call me "Determined"!
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Don't tell them stuff.
Just do it, and then tell them at your going away party.
Thats what we did.
We first told our friends on the invitation for our party on 23 Febuary - 3 weeks ago. We left for the USA 2 and a half weeks ago and now in the Carribean where we have TODAY just putting the deposit on our boat, a Beneteau 39 footer x-charter but nice.
So it doesnt matter what they say or how they wriggle, its happenened and none of the nay-sayers got a chance.
If you are determained then just do it, don't talk about it, just DO IT!
Mark
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15-03-2008, 18:04
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#7
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Moderator Emeritus
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Eastern Tennessee
Boat: Research vessel for a university, retired now.
Posts: 10,406
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Your not crazy....they are envious but will never admit it. I like the previous idea of sending postcards from paradise. Who really are the crazy ones? Those sending the postcards from paradise or those receiving them doing the rat race?
__________________
David
Life begins where land ends.
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15-03-2008, 18:11
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#8
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CF Adviser
Join Date: Oct 2007
Boat: Van Helleman Schooner 65ft StarGazer
Posts: 10,280
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"When you are the "odd" person on the block ",
Just simply move away from the block-heads and get on with your life.
They wont change their minds until a few years down the road and by then your good friends and family will be happy for you and the others don't matter!
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15-03-2008, 18:16
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#9
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CF Adviser Moderator Emeritus
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Virginia
Boat: Island Packet 380, now sold
Posts: 8,942
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MarkJ
Don't tell them stuff.
Just do it, and then tell them at your going away party.
Thats what we did.
We first told our friends on the invitation for our party on 23 Febuary - 3 weeks ago. We left for the USA 2 and a half weeks ago and now in the Carribean where we have TODAY just putting the deposit on our boat, a Beneteau 39 footer x-charter but nice.
So it doesnt matter what they say or how they wriggle, its happenened and none of the nay-sayers got a chance.
If you are determained then just do it, don't talk about it, just DO IT!
Mark
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Mark J,
Where are you in the Caribbean? And CONGRATULATIONS, by the way!!!!
__________________
Hud
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15-03-2008, 18:26
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#10
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Registered User
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Cruising
Boat: Privilege 39 Catamaran, Exit Only
Posts: 2,723
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Three important facts of life are:
1. Life's not fair.
2. They will never understand.
3. You only get one life, and it should be pleasing to you.
One of my favorite sayings is "What you think of me is none of my business." For me that says it all.
You not only have to ignore what other people think, you don't even want to know what they think. It's much better off that way.
It's your dream, and they will never understand.
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15-03-2008, 18:33
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#11
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Long Range Cruiser
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Australian living on "Sea Life" currently in England.
Boat: Beneteau 393 "Sea Life"
Posts: 12,822
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hud3
Mark J,
Where are you in the Caribbean? And CONGRATULATIONS, by the way!!!!
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St Maarten. And thanks! Its been busy and theres all the ends to tie up, but Nicolle and I feel great! The whole process for the last year of all the what we call 'stepping stones' has been very challenging and still theres 'things' trying to derail us. So for Kay, I would suggest that if we told everyone a blow by blow description of all the stuff we have been through, then our friends would have added enough negativity to make the job much, much harder!
Mark
PS 9.32pm is bedtime during boat buying time. Hows that for a celebration? We will have a quiet ale when we're on board and we've posted those postcards!
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15-03-2008, 18:36
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#12
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Registered User
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: W Florida
Boat: Still have the 33yo Jon boat. But now a CATAMARAN. Nice little 18' Bay Cat.
Posts: 7,086
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MarkJ
Did we just buy a boat?????? *Gulp* We DID just buy a boat!
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Good for you!
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15-03-2008, 18:43
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#13
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CF Adviser
Join Date: Oct 2007
Boat: Van Helleman Schooner 65ft StarGazer
Posts: 10,280
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Congratulations Mark and Nicolle for being one step closer!
I know these are stressful times with a lot of second guessing and details about the pending purchase, so stick to your guns through the negotiation as it is very much a buyers market.
Let us know when it all goes through and any technical doubts, we are here to help!
Cheers!
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15-03-2008, 18:48
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#14
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Registered User
Join Date: Jan 2008
Posts: 94
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That's the ticket!
Way to GO Mark!!
Good advice all. I am leaving for Bermuda on May 15th. There has always been a lot of "naysayers" but if memory serves me right....
All of my earlier trips lead to numerous questions about what and where I went. Followed by congratulations for doing it,and/or a lot of questions about how they wished they could have done the same thing.
It is all about priorities..
Live life now, you can't do it when your dead.
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15-03-2008, 19:08
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#15
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Registered User
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Newport, OR/Pocatello, ID
Boat: Newport MKII 30 - Solution
Posts: 192
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Would TRUE friends react with disapproval? Family. . .I am unsure why genetic herritance requires special attention, especially to a negative reaction. I am happy for you, as are many others on this forum. When it comes right down to it, a lifetime only produces a handful of true friends, inclusive of family. Go for it and be happy!
__________________
Eric
N30
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