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Southern Star · 19-11-2009, 05:43

Not Sure, I don't need your advice re: my relationship; indeed, considering your attitude, it doesn't surprise me that your experiences with women have been so negative. As to my boat being a house on pontoons with sails - not so.

She was built to Lloyd's 100 A1 unlimited offshore specs and was sailed by the original owner across the Atlantic, later down as far as Venezuela and back up to Canada. She is a one of a fairly rare breed with a deserved reputation as safe cruising boats and, she was not only built, but designed to that end: eg., tempered glass fixed portlightls, a cutter rig with a dedicated furling staysail/storm jib, 10 stays, etc., etc.

While not fast, she does an honest 7 to 8.5 knots in winds of 15 - 20 knots (and I could gain a half knot by replacing the fixed props with folding ones). Frankly, in my experience it is at least comparable to 39 and 1/2 foot monohulls that are much less comodious, but nevertheless equipped and loaded for comfortable extended cruising. She will not broach in reaching conditions and she can can sail for days on end with a pole-less symmetrical spinnaker at speeds that fully-loaded monohulls will rarely achieve - and do so without wallowing.

Have I compromised for my fiance? Not to any great extent - as I indicated, at age 55 I really don't enjoy bashing to windward for long periods at an extreme heel; I don't enjoy preparing meals, or even taking stores out of cupboards at an angle; I don't enjoy climbing a steep companionway ladder on a heeling boat while trying to carry tools, drinks or food items; I don't enjoy servicing a diesel in cramped quarters.

My plans are for largely trade-wind sailing and for that, she works very well indeed. When I do need to go to windward in heavy conditions, I typically bear off to about 60 degrees and maintain speeds of about 7.5 knots with comfort (at that angle to the waves, the shadow from the windward hull reduces pounding dramatically). And yes, in light air (below 10 knots) I'll even motor sail at about 40 degrees.

She is decidedly not a racing boat; the performance to windward does leave something to be desired (and hence my wish for a larger cat with boards), but all boats are compromises. She may not hit the nail on the head, but for the price and my current needs she has come very close.

In any event, my point was that the features in a boat that my fiance appreciates are also ones that I am not only able to live with, but have come to enjoy at this point in my life. And to the extent that I have had to compromise in order to get her to not only spend, but to enjoy spending considerable time aboard, she has compromised by throwing herself with a passion into not only a new activity, but a new life. While it may be contrary to your experience/beliefs, I believe that in a good relationship some compromise is not only necessary, it is healthy. I get pleasure out of pleasuring her, and she gets pleasure out of pleasuring me - and for us, that is a state that applies to far more than just 'physical' pleasures.

Brad

Not Sure · 19-11-2009, 07:58

My 'experiences with woman' have always been positive....indeed, females are my favorite creatures on the face of the planet. It's my experience with marriage that has, shall we say, fallen somewhat short of the mark. But to each their own.

bobfnbw · 21-11-2009, 15:14

Quote:

Originally Posted by Don Lucas

Really now this thread has been amusing but got off the path right in the beginning. What I really was hoping to hear was from the ladies as to what they thought men wanted in a boat to go along with the "what do women what in a boat" question. Wonder if I started a new one and named it a little different there would be a chance to bring it around?

Don't bet on it. As soon as the thread starting going south I knew it would end up here.

Today we moved our boat, which has been in the yard since April..!! back to our slip. My wife, my older son, and I. As usual, even before we got going, it was the usual bickering between her and I. I don't blame her, as I can be a bit.... overwhelming at times. With my military background, I believe that I am in charge and they should listen. The problem is when I am not clear exactly what I mean, and what they should be doing.. then it gets murkey.
I take full responsibility for it.
Actually after the fact, it went pretty well. Considering we haven't been a board as a family in most of the year.

So what I really want is a crew (read spouse and sons) that can anticipate what I mean, what I want, and when I screw up, just not say anything...

Is that to much to ask ?

Yea I know... but a man could dream.. can't he?

**Ex-Calif** · 24-11-2009, 00:27

Quote:

Originally Posted by MJWEENZ

Back to the subject of the boat (ahem)

I want one that has mechanical spaces big enough for a normal sized man to work in.

Wow! I just realized I am looking for the same thing in a boat and a woman!

**James S** · 24-11-2009, 02:26

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ex-Calif

Wow! I just realized I am looking for the same thing in a boat and a woman!

You're bad

MJWEENZ · 24-11-2009, 05:24

Ex-Calif- ROFLOL That was good!

bobfnbw · 24-11-2009, 05:58

Actually, If he was bad... he would have said, tight enough... for a good size man...
and now this thread has degenerated to...
a really good time.

MJWEENZ · 24-11-2009, 06:03

Fair lines, fine entry, stern with a nice reverse and light displacement.....Oh heck, let myself get dragged down with the rest of this LOLOL

sailorboy1 · 24-11-2009, 13:01

Well just in case she lurks onto this:

I want my wife with me just the way she is!

If she doesn't come across the posting, well.....

**Ex-Calif** · 24-11-2009, 14:54

Quote:

Originally Posted by bobfnbw

Actually, If he was bad... he would have said, tight enough... for a good size man...
and now this thread has degenerated to...
a really good time.

Some need bigger spaces, some need tighter spaces. I guess it depends on your definition of a normal sized man... (note to self - leave this alone. Self to note - you gotta be kidding...)

Obligatory on topic part - Things I don't want in my next boat

Centerline salon table - PITA
Centerline head - not private enough
Too many bulkheads vs. LOA - confining
Companionway mounted main traveler - inconvenient
Inconveniently placed galley lockers that when you place things inside they disappear forever...
Saildrive raw water pickup - fouls easily

OK - that's enough bitching about my boat - she might read this and then I am in real trouble...

MJWEENZ · 24-11-2009, 15:42

I was talking about my wife!!! (are you reading this, Honey?)

sailorboy1 · 02-01-2010, 05:38

I had not read all this in a while. If you just forget about the question in genral it becomes a funny read. Especially once a few of the attacks got started.

anjou · 02-01-2010, 06:25

What do men want?
What do any of us want?
It all depends on the person but its not so hard to figure out.
A little bit of this, a little bit of that. More than anything, to be happy and healthy is the most important.

(im feeling rather philosophical today)