What Do Men Want?

[sailorboy1]

You know since we got so far from my orginal goal of asking the ladies what they thought men wanted in a BOAT:

How many believe they have this wonderful relationship with their "other" (besides me of course). My wife and I follow a kind of simple rule: don't argue over stupid stuff. Since this pretty much kills most battles we haven't had a fight in 27 years.

[Curmudgeon]

Women have to accept the fact that most of the cute, sensitive guys already have boyfriends. Women with high standards will have to stay single or settle for louts like us.

[Ocean Girl]

Originally Posted by Curmudgeon

Women have to accept the fact that most of the cute, sensitive guys already have boyfriends. Women with high standards will have to stay single or settle for louts like us.

Too funny! Are you living up to your name curmudgeon?

I have to amend my earlier statement. There is an aspect I hadn't thought of and that is the hero effect. I have had a man swoop down and help get me out of a tight spot and let me tell you there is nothing....sexier. But there is a difference between hero and trying to make your mate a savior.

And further more, since I am drifting this thread into the abyss, I would also add that there is a difference between analyzing past relationships and projecting your past onto a new relationship. This probably isn't coming out right, dang my communication skills! I have learned some hard lessons but I do not look at men as cheating, lying SOBs. I truly believe most men (people) are exceptional in their own way.

Sorry for the drift Don!
Erika

[Ex-Calif]

Originally Posted by Wotname

Of course this could explain why I am posting on CF rather than out partying with a great bunch of beautiful intelligent sailing women .

Uhhh... I think Dr. Laura would say that this is why you are not a caring, responsible loving dad & husband in a meaningful fulifilling relationship with a strong, together and intelligent woman.

But that could be the psychobabble part

Originally Posted by Don Lucas

You know since we got so far from my orginal goal of asking the ladies what they thought men wanted in a BOAT:

Thread titles count for a lot -

Revised thread Title

"What Men Want - In a Boat"

Sometimes you can't predict what's gonna happen around here...

Originally Posted by Curmudgeon

Women have to accept the fact that most of the cute, sensitive guys already have boyfriends. Women with high standards will have to stay single or settle for louts like us.

Originally Posted by Ocean Girl

I have had a man swoop down and help get me out of a tight spot and let me tell you there is nothing....sexier.

You are absolutely right.... And how can I help you?

(BTW - I am cancelling my diet and gym membership immediately)

Originally Posted by Ocean Girl

And further more, since I am drifting this thread into the abyss, I would also add that there is a difference between analyzing past relationships and projecting your past onto a new relationship. This probably isn't coming out right, dang my communication skills!

I think it came out perfect.

Projecting the bad past onto the future kills lots of relationships.


"What Men Want - In a Boat"

And I'd like a bowsprit and a swim platform.

(obligatory on topic part...)

[bobfnbw]

Relationships are difficult. Doesn't matter if your are man or woman.
The idea that a woman can bring more brain power to a situation is true, but she usually chooses not to. Unless its important to her.
As a nurse, who for 25 years have worked in a >90% female populated industry, I can tell you that a lot of the mystery and hype about women is simply not true. In fact, it amazes me sometimes how vain, petty and dysfunctional some/many of these girls can be. Was watching MSNBC the other night. You may know that at off hours, unlike cnn, they show these lock up shows. Its was about woman in prison... Scary. Don't ever want one of those for crew on a passage.
Truth is people are people.
Yeah a lot of it is built into our genes. Men and woman are attracted to each other, form a bond, and procreate. That is the purpose of life people. To procreate. That is it, that is all, and all that will ever be. Its why some species die once they do it. And why people don't live more than 70 some years. Once you procreate, you are no longer needed in this world, except maybe to care for the grandchildren and pass on some wisdom. We all know they won't be getting it from their parents, who are to busy to do it.
In the end, its about subjecting yourself, your wants and needs to the relationship. Maybe its not the perfect one, but you go one, cause its good enough. And when its not, you or the other one leaves. Hopefully before to much damage is done.

Yesterday, my lovely soul mate and I were doing something together. A rare event these days with all the craziness of life. Lots of wind in our area blew a pretty big branch off our Pecan tree onto part of our roof. So I asked for help to clear it knowing it was dicey proposition. I got on to the roof with the tree trimmer, sorta a small chain saw on a 10 foot pole. The roof was steep, the footing under slippery, and the fall.... large enough to win a trip to the ER.
The saw jammed, and it passed it down to her, she backed up 5 feet and to me looked like she was going to put it up against the wall. I immediatly did my best to be me and said "don't stop keep going" or someting like that. Because of course, I did not want her to get bonged by the massive pice of wood that would have smacked her silly, and made my morning a lot busier than I intended...... and instead of saying something like, "i'm just adjusting my grip sorta thing, she gets mad that I don't understand what she is up to. Here I am just trying to move her out of the area fast, and she gets mad cause I don't give her the benefit of the doubt that she knows what she is doing. And she does, most times,.... except that time when I accidentally jibed when we got stuck aground in Florida... ah but thats a different story...
So the point is, sometimes no matter what you do, or how hard you try, woman and me just don't think in grove. Its a rare relationship that does.
But we try.

[Albro359]

is this really the way it is ???

NOT in my life !!

[Stillraining]

OK Guys...lets get real....Women are not Lessor or superior they are just different...When ones ticked about something and we try and offer a solution we become the enemy...when they get all dolled up or dressed to kill or all skimpy and we zoom in for it we are mindless sex perverted scum.

That extra brain activity ....its called scatter brain and that is not meant derogatorily..they are definitely multi taskers...with 4 of their beautiful heads in my house I tend to just sit back and watch...or more like endure the show..I have learned they do not want a males opinion on any matter unless they ask for it and then it will most likely most of the time go unreceived as a stupid one.

What we have here is a failure to communicate or better put a failure to connect...not on a IQ level but a chemical one..we will never totally mix water with oil... Like an Italian dressing we can come together and become something better then each part on its own complementing each other with a good shake up of spices...of fun times , good sex, good conversation and just being together in quite time...together in the same room yet like the dressing separating each back into two different and unique elements...an element necessary for the satisfaction that mixture brings when combined..or an element sorely missing when absent.

We all... men and Women have a threshold that's different for us all as to how long we can be with out the other element for our salad called life to remain palatable...generally but not always related to how it tasted last time we shook it up and combined together.

Men the water element is fast to bring to boil and is all visual...We want to start the shake up process together instantly upon initial visual stimuli "You wana mate" is as natural and sincere as the opening greeting of saying "Hows it going" for a man....Woman being the oil element are slower to move in this direction ...conversation and the need to be stimulated mentally doesn't and cant happen with 3 words..much to our frustration...once oil is heated it remains so much longer then water which cools quickly.

Few guys learn the art of words from the get go..most never do.. but give it there best effort during initial courtship of their prize...but it is so foreign it consumes most if not all of our energy much like cramming for a final exam and is not sustainable permanently.

What most men want IMHO is a woman that recognized the Herculean effort we put forth and call it good for what it was...then except us from then on as a worthy element in their life as we move to the next stage.. the provider, protector , fixer, luster of their body and best friend and companion that we want to be.

No we will never completely mix and become one...but we need to shake it up together as often as we can giving both a taste of that flavorful topping each desire to pore out and be satisfied on their salad called life.

[sailorboy1]

I've read my share of these "men vs women" books/articles about our differences etc. Do you ever think the biggest problem is that so much effort is spent telling us how men and women are different? It's not like men don't get along with other men and women with other women. It's just that it normally is easier to tell who is who in the men/women. Maybe all this sexual profiling is just a way to sell books etc.

[anjou]

Originally Posted by Curmudgeon

Women have to accept the fact that most of the cute, sensitive guys already have boyfriends. Women with high standards will have to stay single or settle for louts like us.

Your sort of correct but I wouldnt have been as tactless, after all, every cloud has a silver lining. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder etc.

Ya wanna know why (some) men are better at parking and loading the dish washer, and (some) women are better at home design and furnishing is because......shapes and colours, ....male and female brains perform certain tasks better that the opposite gender.

That isnt a weakness or critisism, far from it, its a statement of fact and a fool would ignore it or see it as a weakness, and thats why teamwork wins the day.

So, vive la difference and make hay while the sunshines. Embrace the change and best foot forward. Share the problem/task and halve it. Two heads are better than one and teamwork got it done.

Any louts out there care to have a go?

[Wotname]

Originally Posted by Wotname

............ Of course this could explain why I am posting on CF rather than out partying with a great bunch of beautiful intelligent sailing women .

Originally Posted by Ex-Calif

Uhhh... I think Dr. Laura would say that this is why you are not a caring, responsible loving dad & husband in a meaningful fulifilling relationship with a strong, together and intelligent woman.

I am sure that is exactly what Dr L would say but given the choice I might prefer my version .

Originally Posted by Ex-Calif

But that could be the psychobabble part

Yep, sure to be.

[Talbot]

Originally Posted by anjou

Ya wanna know why (some) men are better at parking and loading the dish washer, and (some) women are better at home design and furnishing is because......shapes and colours, ....male and female brains perform certain tasks better that the opposite gender. ........ vive la difference and make hay while the sunshines. Embrace the change and best foot forward. Share the problem/task and halve it. Two heads are better than one and teamwork got it done.

There is a body of thought that considers that there are not two specific genders, but rather, two base options, and most people are a mix of both.

I know the next bit is going to get me in trouble, but I am using these stereotypes as examples to illustrate the theory

Thus a man who is 70% male and 30% female can't navigate or change a plug, but helps with the washing and ironing.

The 100% male expects the beer to be provided when he needs it, has never seen why he is needed to help with housework etc etc etc.

Those close to the 50% end up with transgender or cross dressing issues

I guess you probably get the point of this by now so I will not dig a deeper hole

This is only a theory, and I still have not been totally convinced, but there are definite people types who help to give positive evidence to support it.


Thus if we accept this theory, it might be more appropriate to ask a prospective partner, what sort of male and female characteristics do they have, and how do those characteristics match with your own.

This would also justify why it is so difficult to find a soul mate, as you need to establish where those characteristics mesh and interact, what needs to be reinforced, and what is not so important.

[anjou]

Not sure i agree with the transgender/cross dresser ideal. Ones sexual/gender identity has little to do with how practical or logistical one is.
There are lots of male men out there who are excelent at washing and ironing (all military men have to make that grade) and lots of women pilots, sailors etc who are brilliant at navigation. No one would ever cast aspertions on their heritage.

I think your confusing the Nature Vs Nurture issue.

Both parties need a good mix of all aspects of abilities and be able to compliment those with a suitable partner. One can write a definitive list but the only way to know if two people are compatible is to suck it and see.

[Talbot]

Originally Posted by anjou

There are lots of male men out there who are excelent at washing and ironing (all military men have to make that grade) and lots of women pilots, sailors etc who are brilliant at navigation. No one would ever cast aspertions on their heritage.

Whilst I dont want to be seen as an advocate for this concept,

If it was reality, then everyone would be seen as a % mix and thus issues of what sex you are should be less important.

Some ladies are very good at throwing balls, others could not throw overarm to save their lives, that does not necessarily reflect on their essential femininity, it does however, reflect on specific physical characteristics which might come from genetic mixes.

[Ocean Girl]

Originally Posted by Ex-Calif

You are absolutely right.... And how can I help you? .

Thats the spirit! Ya know how to charm this gal, agree with me and offer assistance


We are all unique. Our relationship dynamics will be unique too. Generalizing what men want or what women want... it makes an interesting and amusing topic but we will never arrive at any real conclusion. It would seen to me the best way to get a correct answer is to ask your particular man/woman because we are all unique. (did I mention we are all unique?)

Cheers,
uniquely Erika

[BubbleHeadMd]

You're all investing a lot of energy in this discussion.

For what return, I'm not exactly sure.